Chapter Four: bittersweet

As Makubex stepped outside of the limitless fortress, for the first time in a year he felt liberated, relieved and inexplicably fragile. He stepped out away from the shade of the building, and into the light. The intelligent, bright blue eyes of his were now visible as the sun lit up his fair complexion, and the wind rippled through his silvery locks. While Ginji waited for him to catch up, he remembered how healthy, young and vibrant Makubex used to be as opposed to now.

His voice was now somber as he spoke in a dull tone, and looked down at the ground. Even his eyes, which once reflected his sharp calculating mind and confidence were now filled with hurt and indifference. Makubex felt like he was pierced by Ginji's concerned glare. All he could do was stand where was, look and feel as if he were in a great deal of pain.

"Well, let's go then!" Exclaimed Ginji with great enthusiasm. Makubex snapped out of it and slowly began to advance toward Ginji. Once he caught up, he stayed at Ginji's pace and walked by his side.

"So," began Ginji, trying to start up a conversation, "When was the last time you had ice cream?"

"I don't know," Makubex replied sadly.

Ginji began to talk even faster, "I sure hope it wasn't too long ago, and if it was, well then, that's okay, I mean because I haven't had any in two months, but that's…because Ban was being mean and he..." He stopped once he realized that Makubex's mood was sinking even lower.

"Hey, look Makubex," Ginji said as he put his arm around Makubex and steered him in a different direction. Makubex blushed slightly at this.

His arm is…around me

"It's the Honky Tonk," continued Ginji, "you need to meet Paul, Natsumi and of course you've already met Ban-chan.

"Indeed I have", replied Makubex coldly, as he saw Ban sitting inside of the restaurant. Not only was he jealous when he saw Ban in person but even at the very mention of him. Ginji led Makubex in, first to the bar where Paul was reading his newspaper and Natsumi was drying glasses off.

"Hey, Natsumi, how have you been?" Ginji asked the girl with black hair and eyes of the same color.

"Oh! Great Ginji…but didn't I see you three days ago?" she asked, slightly confused.

"Well, we're usually in here more often than that…" he said motioning to Ban. "That we are." Ban replied with a sigh.

"By the way, this is my friend Makubex; I've known him for quite a long time." Ginji said to Natsumi.

"Nice to meet you." She said to Makubex cheerily.

"Like wise."

Ginji moved his arm off from around Makubex's shoulders.

Why did he have to do that? I liked it…I didn't feel alone anymore

Makubex's spirit sank. This moment was even worse than when he took his first steps out of the limitless fortress, picturing Ginji walk away when he left for the second time, after preventing his suicide. Ginji turned, waving one final time and departed with Ban.

Ban…of all people, why did it have to be him? The one person who may care for Ginji more than I do, and in the same instance may be using him for his own selfish needs…

"Don't spoil those boys now, Natsumi." Paul responded, looking up from his newspaper. Ginji sat a table sitting next to Makubex and across from Ban. Natsumi returned with the pizza.

"Here you go. Enjoy!"

"Thanks a lot, Natsumi!" Ginji said happily, as he pulled a slice of pizza away from the others. As they ate, Makubex enjoyed the pizza and how nice everyone was being, but still felt like he was alone in the room. The dark computer room was no different than this room, or any room for that matter. No place mattered, as long Makubex himself there and Ginji was there with him.

That's it. I do have feelings for him

He was completely sure of it now. If he was jealous of Ban, wanted to be alone with Ginji and most of all desired to be touched by him, than the answer he sought was right in front of his face.

He will never feel the same. I am merely a brother to him, and that's all that I will ever exist to be…

"Makubex..."

"What? Forgive me, I was just…"

"We should go."

"Didn't you want to get..."

"Maybe another time. Not now." Ginji replied in a serious tone that struck Makubex as unusual.