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Chapter III: William Turner
"I'd say it has animotronic whatever in it." Jack said, doting over the Dead Man's chest.
"Aye." Barbossa agreed.
"It's the Flying Dutchman!"
"Oh crap!" the co-captains chorused. They, along with Mrs. Turner, who looked like a girl in a clothes store, ran to the side. Sure Enough, the ship of the damned had surfaced.
"There'll be no living with her after this." The captains chorused, then looked at Elizabeth.
Will Turner was suddenly aboard the ship. He wrapped Elizabeth in his arms from behind, startling her. Barbossa and Jack looked at each other.
"Hey! You two look okay together, when you're not trying to kill each other." The captains looked at Will like he was a loon, then back at each other.
"So what are you two loonies doing out here?"
"Nothing!" Barbossa said.
"Actually, we're searching for the Fountain of Youth." Raghetti said. "And I don't appreciate the Author calling me Yeller." Oh, get over it, you sod. "No! Pintel and me have had enough of you! Mutiny!" The author, enraged by Raghetti's back talking, suddenly wrote them directly into the next scene.
"The Fountain of Youth? Jack, it's a leg-"
"It exists." Elizabeth said.
"Well, as long as it's an adventure, I'll join you." Will said. The Co-captains looked at Each other in misery.
"Who is commodore?" Barbossa asked.
"Nobody!" Jack said.
And so, the twin ships sailed closer to the Island of Aqua de Vida, which leads us into scene twenty-four, which is about four or five swallow's flight away, unless it's the African swallow, in which case it would be only two or three. And that depends on if they're unladen or not. Anyway, scene twenty four is a lovely little scene between the captains and the mysterious crazy man, played like a charm by Sean Connery.
"Ye who crossh the bridge of death musht anshar the bridge keeper three questionsh, may the other shide he she." (say it, it'll make more sense.)
Jack Sparrow and Hector Barbossa sat there, in full pirate regalia, listening to the renowned actor regale them about Monty Python and the Holy Grail, while Will Turner sat there with a hand in his face.
"What happens next?!" Jack said eagerly. Sean Connery began to laugh maniacally and disappear, leaving the three captains staring at the wall of a tent.
"That was rude." Jack said.
"Oh shut up." Barbossa growled.
"This is a complete waste of time." Will said. The trio walked out of the house.
"Oi! Seek you the bridge of death?" said a man in robes.
"Aye!"
"You must first gain the favor of the Pirates who say ni!"
"Who are the pirates who say ni!?"
"I don't know, go ask the pirates up on that hill!" The Beggar said, pointing to the fort. The trio hiked up to the fort.
"Oi!" Jack called.
"What do you want, English fu-fu heads!" called a pirate from the wall.
"We seek the Pirates who say Ni!"
"I don't know no pirates, English poop-pooh brains!"
"You're English, aren't you?"
"I'm a French! Why to you think I have this outrrrageous accent, eh?"
"What are you doing in English waters?"
"Mind your own business!"
"This is asinine." Will said, rubbing his temples.
"Oi! Just tell me a direction, and we'll go!"
"I don't wanna talk to you no more, English Brain-dead peoples! Go away, or I shall taunt you a second time! You're mother was a hamster, and you're father smelled of elderberries! I blow my nose in your general direction!"
"What?" Jack asked, confused.
"Iv you don't go away, I'm gonna shoot at you wit ma big cow catapult!"
"Look, you French unich, We're seeking the Fountain of Youth!"
"We already got one!" the French pirate said. He looked to his friends, who were hiding behind the wall. "I told them we already got one!" the others began to snigger.
"What?"
"Go away! I'll poot a restraining orda on you, English arse-face-eh!"
"Look, you bas-"
"You asked for it!" he looked to his friends. "Go get Elizabetsa!" They rushed off. "Now English fu-fu-floppies, I shall shoot a cow on you wit ma big cow catapult! Fire!" A giant Cow was shot into the air!
"SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the pirate captains cried, and ran away.
&&&
Out on the ocean, a documentary was being filmed.
"Jack Sparrow, utterly humiliated by the taunting of the French, decided to blow their ship out of the bay, using the Black Pearl's heavy cannons to sink the ship to the bottom of the Ocean." Behind the narrator, a ship appeared out of the mist, and fired its cannon at the camera. The whole ship blew apart.
&&&
"You are the biggest loony I've ever seen!! We could've been killed!" Will yelled in Jack's ear. "Not you. Lucky bastard."
"How we be getting into the fort?" Barbossa asked, Jack, enraged.
"Uh, I've got an idea." Pintel said, raising his hand.
Next: the Trojan rabbit, and the Knights (pirates) who say ni!