This is kind of a between chapter... with a little of a twist. You'll definitely see where I'm going with this without paying a whole lot of attention. That bottom piece is part of the story and it's important. Don't let the "According to Wikipedia..." part throw you off. It's important.
The title chapter. We're getting closer. I think I'll probably end up termanating this at around chapter 35-40, so there's more to come. Make theories. I hope this doesn't kill the suspense, honestly, but... I think you guys will understand.
You've understood me thus far. And for that I'm so very grateful. No, I'm not trying to flatter, I'm just saying, you guys made this worth the ride. I lost this chapter twice and was unable to recover a vast majority of it the second time... but I wanted to get it out to you today.
Axel came to Saïx. They simply sat there in companionable silence, but it was strangely uncharacteristic for the redhead to be so quiet. He hadn't even made any effort to speak a greeting, and Saïx was beginning to worry a little.
His golden eyes dropped to the bruises on his wrist. They'd determined finally that he was innocent, that he was merely protecting himself and the others when he lashed out as he did. But still, he couldn't help but feel guilty. They came to tell him who exactly he had killed.
Nero Sebelle; age seventeen; height, five feet, six inches; weight, one hundred and ten pounds. They'd only told him that the kid had been a problem in the past… but he knew better. The kid was a monster: already having been linked back to two other unsolved murders. He'd committed atrocities that no human hands should ever have attempted, and in that he forfeited his sanity, his humanity and his heart. And it all started with his mother and a wooden spoon.
Regretful, but unchangeable.
Axel breathed a soft sigh, sitting at the bedside with his arms on the mattress, chin propped up on an elbow. He looked terrible, haggard, worn and Saïx could see the rusty bloodstains on his hands that he had neglected to wash away… either that or he'd missed them. It had been this way for days now.
He looked pained to breathe. And worst of all, he looked so tired with his bloodshot eyes, his corpselike pallor. He seemed dead already and Saïx was terribly worried despite his uncaring demeanor.
He let the mask fall and shatter on the floor like so much delicate china.
Slipping a hand under his chin, he tipped the Axel's head up enough that he could see that drawn, deathly weary face. He winced as the touch brought the images of bloody vomit. So sensitive was he that he could almost feel the sickly burn in the pit of his stomach, taste the alkaline choke and salt-iron burn slipping between his teeth. He shuddered.
"You hurt yourself again, didn't you?" Saïx asked softly, lacing his other hand into Axel's thick red mane.
Axel nodded, the look in his eyes much like that of a guilty child. Saïx felt that sudden and almost maternal urge to shield this poor unfortunate soul from the wiles of a dark, frightening world, but he could already see, the poison was too deeply set. He pulled the redhead forward against him, stroking coarse red hair soothingly.
"Demyx is going to be pissed when he finds out…" he said absently, "And you're going to die if you keep doing it, Axel."
He didn't speak, but the look in his eyes told Saïx that the redhead understood all too well.
He released his old friend, slipping his hands into Axel's. Once again they fell into a comfortable silence. Saïx sighed again.
"You know, you're like a little kid sometimes… I can't stop you, but I want you to promise me one thing, alright?"
Axel nodded.
"Don't hurt yourself any more."
Axel paused for a moment, sniffled and winced painfully, then ended up crawling up into the bed with Saïx, even though it probably wasn't such a good idea. He needed someone to hold him right now, anyone, and who better than his spiritual twin? Saïx obliged willingly. Even these emotions were a tad misdirected, he really didn't mind so much. They were Gemini: one and the same but perfect opposites.
He wanted to protect his little brother.
The insanity baked off of him like fever, searing on his pale skin.
"You keep on looking ahead," Saïx whispered, shifting so that Axel could curl up against him, "I'll be here to watch your back for as long as you need me."
"You… remembered it…" Axel grated, his voice both painful to use and listen to.
"Of course," Saïx chided, "My hindsight really is 20/20, you know."
"Oops. Forgot who I was talking to."
"You're so dumb sometimes."
"Just forgetful," Axel shot back, "And besides, I'm crazy. I have an excuse."
"Whatever," Saïx laughed.
There was a long silence and Saïx found himself drifting off when Axel roused him with a question that drove all thoughts of sleep completely from his mind.
"Saïx… if I…"
A few chaotic thoughts leaked from Axel's stream of consciousness, and Saïx could feel the confusion, the rage, and the horrible sense of guilt.
"If I were to die… would it save him?"
"There's only one more strike. I'm confident that you'll both make it through," Saïx answered too quickly. He knew Axel was suspicious now.
"That's not what I asked. Tell me the truth. If I died in his place… would he live? Would he be able to continue on?"
Saïx sighed deeply averting his eyes to stare out the window at the urban sprawl.
"Yes," he said finally, "If you were to die in his place, he'll live and grow old. There's no escaping death in the end, you know."
"I know… but I want him to live a long life. I want him to be happy."
"Do you think he will be happy without you?"
Axel smiled.
"Painters…"
"What?"
"He'll understand. When I die, tell him I told you that."
"Then you've come to terms with your mortality?" Saïx rumbled, "You're a fool."
"Wasn't I always?"
"Just… wait until he pulls through again. He deserves to have just a little more time with you, don't you think?"
They fell into silence once again.
This time it was permanent.
--- ---
According to Wikipedia, Turpentine is this:
"Turpentine (also called spirit of turpentine, oil of turpentine, wood turpentine, gum turpentine) is a fluid obtained by the distillation of resin obtained from trees, mainly pine trees. It is composed of terpenes, mainly monoterpenes alpha-pinene and beta-pinene. It has a potent odor similar to that of nail polish remover. It is sometimes known colloquially as turps, but this more often refers to turpentine substitute (or mineral turpentine).
"The word turpentine is formed (via French and Latin) from the Greek word terebinthine, the name of a species of tree, the terebinth tree, from whose sap the spirit was originally distilled."
Through research, I discovered that turpentine has many uses. The most common is as a solvent for oil based paints, production of varnishes, and as a raw material in the chemical business. The thing is, using real turpentine for painting has pretty much been abandoned when they came out with types of synthetic turpentine distilled from crude oil.
Among the more bizarre uses, it's used to de-worm people… well, it was a while ago. It's still used in the killing of body lice. It's one of the main ingredients in Vicks Vapor-Rub. The most surprising to me, though, was that it's added to a lot of cleaning products because of its antiseptic properties and it's "clean smell".
No wonder Axel hated cleaning the floors so much.
Ever wonder why Pine-Sol is called Pine-Sol?
Anyway, among other things, the hazards of turpentine vapors include burning of the skin and eyes over long term exposure; respiratory and nervous system damage over long term inhalation; kidney failure and eventual death after consumption. That's just the short list.
Now that I know all of this, I wonder why he wanted to die that way… why he wanted to die in so much horrible pain.
Guilt.
He was so heavy with guilt and he wanted to atone, I guess.