Another long chapter... yep. Hopefully this will keep you guys busy for a while. :)
Songs in this one that inspired: Closer Nine Inch Nails; Tear You Apart She Wants Revenge; Drive Incubus
Lyrics are Drive Incubus
Lots and lots of work from Mousewolf in this one. It's to the point where I'm considering it a collab. Go give thanks and homage!
Please note that there's graphicness in this chapter... by and large, it's relitively artfully written, but avert thine eyes if you're not a fan of the lemons. Um... this is another disturbing chapter in a relitively disturbing story. Hope I'm not jerking you all around too much. LoL.
Read, enjoy, review, repeat:D
:::Tear You Apart:::
Demyx was so crazy, so excited.
He was dancing, dancing, dancing, the eerie purple light of the black lights lighting him up like some sort of acid-tripped roman candle. Strobes and lasers made inscrutable patterns over his glowing skin, light on water in a subterranean cave. Axel wanted him, wanted him, wanted him from the bar, but his legs were like jelly.
He was totally hammered.
Completely smashed.
Pretty damn stoned.
So strung-out that everything, every little trick of light, was magic.
He had a pretty girl to touch, enough E to choke a horse, weed to last him a year, booze to spoil his liver, and a hit of acid, which Demyx had already used his own and he was so fucking beautiful right now. He was brilliant as the glitter-gold on the sea, so very beautiful…
"Demyx…" Axel whispered to himself, a smile curving on his lecherous lips.
"What, babe?"
Some girl… she's pretty, but not like Demyx. Not at all. She doesn't move like that… she doesn't have that perfect, beautiful body. She can't create that kind of friction, electric and taut. She doesn't lie down and beg for more with her legs spread flush to the mattress, lips smiling and eyes too deep. She doesn't have those endearing blue eyes. Lovely, jewel-bright eyes, tropical tides just before a fucking hurricane rips it all away. Eyes like tsunamis that stop his heart cold.
"No, I need him…"
"Who?" she asks, leaning in and grabbing the redhead by his stubbly chin. He's forced to look deep into her hazel-green eyes. She's too young for him, really. "I'm here. I'll do anything you want."
"Fuck that. I want him."
"I know, baby, but he's having fun…" she crooned, straddling his hips so that she could cuddle his face against her ample breasts. Axel heaved a frustrated sigh.
"I don't want no fish taco tonight," he said evenly, disentangling the woman from him, "Sorry, I'm drunk, but not enough to be seduced. I'm gonna go dance."
"Well, fine. Fuck you," she grumbled, buzzing off angrily. Axel lurched to his feet, found Demyx moving like the divine creature he was on that dance floor. God. He could have passed for an angel or a demon… anything with boundless beauty and a magnetism that you just can't deny. Axel tried to force himself to break the moment, but he realized he really didn't need to in the first place. Demyx reached out and pulled the bony redhead hard against him, running his lips up and down the lines of the redhead's long neck, once, twice, nip at an earlobe, thrice.
"Move!" he breathed, dragging Axel into a hopeless situation of sexual tension and frustration, tossing like a black sea of oblivion. He was drowning fast.
Axel tried to bend as the blond required, tried to keep the pace, but he always managed to slip up, managed to knock the beautiful blond out of his godlike rhythm, but Demyx just smiled and pulled him back close, smoothing bony hips against his own sinewy body. The magic didn't last terribly long, though.
"I… I-I-I can't breathe!" he wailed, as he suddenly stumbled against the redhead, scrabbling against his chest for purchase.
"Dem, are you okay?" Axel panted, pulling the blond into his arms, trying to steady him.
"I want out!" he yelled, muffled, burying himself in the older man's chest.
"Come on," Axel said soothingly, half dragging his lover off the dance floor despite the confused glances and out of the club. Demyx shuddered deeply as Axel set him down on a concrete wall, and indeed, his lips were tinged blue, his face was ashen, he was panting heavily.
"I'm scared…" Demyx moaned quietly, clambering messily into Axel's lap. The redhead shushed his lover absently, tucking the younger man's head beneath his chin. Demyx sobbed quietly, shaking slow and even against Axel's chest, but slowly, the strangled note in his breathing subsided, the trembling evened out, the sobbing melted away.
"Hey! Hey, is he alright?"
It was Lisa, the girl who had invited them.
"Yeah," Axel replied, "Right, Dem? Just needed a breath of fresh air."
There was no reply, so Axel leaned back and tipped the blond's head up gently, smiled softly at the realization.
"Aww," Lisa gushed, "He's out like a light, huh?"
"Dun turn the light off…" Demyx mumbled, burying his face in the crook of Axel's neck.
"Yeah…maybe. Shit, I'm drunk. I can't take him home now," Axel sighed, "What am I going to do now?"
"You don't sound drunk…" Lisa mumbled, "But you could always take a cab?"
"Yeah, but my car…"
"Just leave it here. No one touches our college junkers," she laughed, "If it's your stereo you're worried about, outside looks usually keep people away."
"Well," Axel said sheepishly, "I've got a brand new 'Vette…"
"OH!" she cried, "So you're the one with the awesome car! Wow… so you definitely shouldn't leave it here."
"Do you mind driving us back to my place? You're sober, right?" Axel asked, making his best puppy-face.
"Sure," she said softly, "I haven't touched a thing tonight! Scout's honor!"
"I'll pay your cab back, alright?" he said softly, shifting to eek his keys out of his pocket without waking Demyx.
"No need," she replied, taking the proffered key ring with a sweet smile, "I'm sure you need the cash. I just want to help you all out. I wasn't right for us to drag you out here like this."
Axel cradled the limp blond in his arms, staggering only momentarily on his unsteady legs. Demyx mumbled something completely incoherent and twitched, but didn't wake up. Axel grinned sheepishly, gave a half shrug.
"Shall we?"
--- ---
Lisa slept on the couch instead of going home. Axel didn't mind.
It was good sex, after all.
Demyx lay completely oblivious in the bed next to his lover, snoring lightly into the pillow. For some reason, Axel felt horribly dirty. He had only the vaguest memories of the whole affair, but it was definitely a drunken act that he didn't really know if he could have stopped. He lifted his hand to stare at the little silver ring on his finger, feeling the little pits and ruts like eyes, vindictive, pinning him to the sterile white sheets.
"Hey," she whispered softly, a pretty smile on her goddamn beautiful face, "I'm glad you're awake…"
"Sorry. I was really tired…"
"You have a hangover, right?"
"A little," Axel admitted.
"Yeah. I'll get you some of my pills. They work," she insisted, "Trust me!"
Lisa padded silently over to her purse and returned with a couple red capsules in her hand. Axel didn't even ask. He just sat up and took the pills from her, popped them quickly. She blushed and laughed and he realized he was still naked, the sheets riding far too low on his hips.
"Sorry."
"No, really, it's- it's fine. You're - uh, great in the sack. Really."
It was Axel's turn to blush.
"About that…" he whispered, "I don't remember so much…"
"Really? You were definitely drunker than you looked then," she laughed – no, giggled, goddamn her, "You put him down and we chilled on the couch for a few hours. It was good."
"Yeah…" he couldn't help but let his despair show through on that one. He swallowed hard and gathered the strength to speak again, "You can get a shower if you like…"
"What… did we do?" she asked quietly.
Axel sighed heavily, turning to gaze upon Demyx's sleeping form.
"He- he's my lover," he explained, "If he believed in marriage, we'd be…"
"Oh, my god," Lisa breathed in shock, "I'm so sorry, I'll leave."
"No!" Axel hissed, catching her by the wrist as she made to flee. "Wait. Just because I made a stupid mistake doesn't mean I have any right to neglect my duty as gentleman."
"No really…"
"Go get a shower. I'll make you some coffee and breakfast, and then I'll let you go. This whole mess is my fault anyway, so I'll take care of it."
"You're sweet," Lisa said softly, "I can see why he loves you so much… I won't tell anyone."
Axel remained strangely silent, still staring at the ring on his finger. "…Thanks, I guess."
"Don't worry about it so much… but…" Lisa started, twiddling her thumbs a little.
"But what?" Axel inquired, brow furrowed lightly.
"It would be best to tell him as soon as possible. If he really truly loves you, he'll forgive you. Of course it might take a while, but he'll forgive."
Axel shook his head.
"You're right…"
--- ---
Demyx lay on the couch and looked at the painting. The one that had been abandoned for the most part since his arrival, and he glared and he seethed. Lisa and Axel were laughing, laughing, laughing their hearts out in the kitchen, and boy, oh boy, Demyx was ready to kill her. Nice guy he was, he resisted the urge to the point where he was only claiming to be anti-social due to his headache.
He could tell Axel knew better, though. He could lie, but if you caught those blue eyes just right, you could pin him.
Demyx had done it to the redhead a couple of times this morning in return though, and now he was definitely ready to put the hurt on his lover. For one reason or another, memories of the Nocturne buried deep in his subconscious surfaced, and he could feel the swelling of an ocean he'd never known in this life, but it was so familiar.
Felt so strangely familiar.
The swell of the tides, the crash of the waves, knowing what it was to drown and never drowning, being held up, and up, and up forever it seemed
He stood and walked into the kitchen, settled himself against a door post, his sweater fallen down off his shoulders, boxers hanging from a thread. Minus any other form of covering, he knew how seductive he looked right now, and he'd use that to his advantage. Lisa looked over, her bright amber eyes glancing from head to toe.
"Hey… you guys like music?" he asked reaching up to scratch the back of his head. He gave his hair a perfunctory ruffle and gazed at both hollowly, an old, odd smile twitching his lips.
The sea breathes, stirring from sleep in caverns deep. With rings on his fingers and sprites on his toes, he barters his music wherever he goes
"Yeah, what do you have?" Lisa replied quietly. She was nervous. Good.
"Well, when I get my guitar, you can pick my brain, but there is a certain song I had in mind."
"You play?" she asked, an excited gleam in her pretty eyes. Little girl at the seaside, giggling at the light dancing on the water and unknowing about the riptides.
"Yeah. You thought I was talking about CDs or something, huh?" he laughed, stalking out to the studio. He ignored anything else while he was popped open the battered guitar case that held his beloved instrument, the one that Axel had so willingly abandoned to his care. He almost abandoned his other instruments entirely in favor of the old Marten. It had a soul.
Blue as death and oddly shaped, with a wailing, howling song like a squall in a peaceful bay
He picked it up and slung the old back strap over his shoulder, stood and walked into the kitchen. With very little flair, he plopped down in front of the refrigerator and started playing without any hesitation.
Satisfied, he lifted his voice.
"Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself
How much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before, it seems to have a vague
Haunting mass appeal
Lately I'm beginning to find
That I should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there, I'll be there…"
Lisa watched enraptured, her hand resting light and warm on top of Axel's, her fingers just barely curled beneath his. Demyx looked up, a look of terrible seriousness in his eyes, now opened up into the reservoirs of deep sapphire. The depths of his soul laid bare in the most inconspicuous ways…
Deepest water, where the wild things are. Rich and strange and dark.
And for him to use this song… making such subtle comments on his lover's character… Axel couldn't help but think he would have toasted the little bastard if he'd still possessed the ability, and his lip lifted a little from his teeth at the thought.
"So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine
and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
That everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find
that when I drive myself my light is found.
Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes.
Yeah. Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there, I'll be there…"
Axel turned away, both shameful and feeling a little irked that the blond would even dare say he was just like everyone else… He'd worked hard on his non-conformist image.
Demyx kept singing. He didn't mind that Lisa was crying. He didn't mind that Axel was burning in the extreme heat of his own shame and increasing anger. He smells burning and it makes him smile even as he makes that promise broken over and over.
Maybe this is how it feels?
For a split second he had the most explicit memory of lacking, of desiring something so terribly, and his breath caught in his throat, his chest concaved painfully. He curled in upon himself, clutching at his chest in agony, the guitar's flat back smooth against his stomach. He moaned, not quite in pain, but at the ghost of the terrible pain-not-pain-not-quite-despair, eyes squeezed shut.
"Dem! Dem, are you okay?" Axel whispered his hands suddenly hot on Demyx's cheeks.
"I remembered… it was horrible," he breathed, gritted, glared. "I'd forgotten… you made me, Axel."
"What?" Axel blurted. Where did that come from?
"Uh, I-I'll go, if you want me to…" Lisa half-whispered shamefully.
"Get out." Demyx hissed, water over sand as the tides recede too far, earning a less than friendly glare from Axel.
"I'll drive you home, hon. He's… he's acting very childish right now," Axel admonished, standing and stomping off into the main room. Demyx literally growled, but he couldn't quite contain the note of frustration on his voice. He had to seriously push down the urge to back-hand her when Lisa knelt at his side, a cool hand placed gently on his shoulder.
"Demyx, it didn't mean anything. He- he was really, really drunk and I was… I wasn't thinking. It's not his fault… blame me, please."
"Ha, I do. And him. No excuses," he breathed, "Get out of my house."
"I… for what it's worth," she said softly, running her hand down to Demyx's clutched so tight to his chest, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I won't come back."
Demyx heaved a sigh, caught her hard around the wrist before she could slip away.
"I've learned something, and I forgive you. You couldn't have known… but if you ever come back… I will hurt you, badly."
Her eyes widened when she saw he was serious, turning and leaving as soon as he relinquished her wrist. "Yeah, you two… you need to talk to him."
Demyx's interest piqued on that one. "I…"
"No. I'll take a cab," she said, a note of humor in her voice. "I hope Megan lets me come home."
"Alright… have a good one. I'll give you a call sometime."
"No, you won't," she laughed, and the door shut quietly.
Water is the most abundant molecule on Earth's surface, composing 70-75 of the Earth's surface as liquid and solid state in addition to being found in the atmosphere as a vapor.
Axel wandered back into the kitchen, pressed his back against the wall opposite his lover and slid down into a boneless heap on the floor. He couldn't determine his current state of mind: if he was pissed to hell or just anxious, he couldn't tell.
Water has the second highest specific heat capacity of any known chemical compound, after ammonia, as well as a high heat of vaporization (40.65 kJ mol-1), both of which are a result of the extensive hydrogen bonding between its molecules. These two unusual properties allow water to moderate Earth's climate by buffering large fluctuations in temperature.
Demyx sat there, glaring like something you'd find under the bed in a horror movie.
"Dem…"
"What?" he snapped, deepening his glare further if that was even possible at all. His eyes looked like shards of obsidian. Axel imagined it could kill angles, that look.
All angles, all gaunt bone and awkward bends. Axel sighed, got on his knees and bent down, forehead to the cold floor, hands locked over his head. "I'm sorry."
There was a long pause, but finally, a drawn-out sigh escaped Demyx's lips.
"How can I forgive you?" he laughed, "You're such a bastard, you always were!"
Axel gritted his teeth on a sharp comment. Thought for a moment.
"Demyx… be serious please."
"I am being serious! Can't you tell? You fucked me over while I was passed out drunk!" he roared, "How could I ever find a way to forgive me when you're the one that ripped out my heart in the first place? I loved you! I trusted you!"
He glared coldly again. This time Axel was on all-fours, glaring right back, bright acid eyes, the face so much more frightening and familiar.
Fire is a rapid oxidation process that creates light, heat, smoke, and releases energy in varying intensities. It is commonly used to describe either a fuel in a state of combustion (e.g., a campfire, or a lit fireplace or stove) or a violent, destructive and uncontrolled burning (e.g., in buildings or a wildfire).
"Demyx, we won't talk about this."
"Yes we will!"
The Flurry of Dancing Flames. Number VIII of Organization XIII.
The Melodious Nocturne. Number IX of Organization XIII.
Fire versus water.
The never ending battle of elements.
"Orders, Demyx. We take them as they come. They were some of my first and I was eager to please and fresh without a conscience," he explained flatly, "Want to give me one good reason you could call that an excuse?"
Fires start when both a flammable and/or a combustible material with an adequate supply of oxygen or another oxidizer is subjected to enough heat. The common fire-causing sources of heat include a spark, another fire (such as an explosion, a fire in the oven or fireplace, or a lit match, lighter or cigarette) and sources of intense thermal radiation (such as sunlight, a flue, an incandescent light bulb or a radiant heater).
"It was wrong!" Demyx hissed, "You know it!"
"Could I have known at the time?" Axel returned just as harshly.
Demyx just sat there for a moment.
"I was happy once," he said flatly, finally, "Now look… you made me, Axel. You broke me, you bent me, you rearranged me and look what you have. Maybe it would have been better if I had died…"
"Fuck that!" Axel barked, "Is that all you can say? Are you really that fucking stupid?"
"I'm not stupid!"
"You never were the brightest penny in the box, Dem. Slow fighter, slow thinker."
"Fuck you!" Demyx hissed.
"No, fuck you until you bleed, you pussy!" the redhead returned, just as bitterly.
Demyx moved sharply, throwing himself to his feet. He tossed the guitar on the couch on his way to the bedroom and slammed the door behind him when he got there. Just as quickly, Axel threw it open, catching Demyx's darkened eyes with a strangely sultry glare.
"The fuck do you want?" Demyx hissed.
"You. You were always delicious when you were pissed off." His lips were curled into a slithy cheshire-cat's grin that was entirely unlike this Axel.
"Get the hell out of my house!" Demyx grated, pushing the lanky redhead away from him, but he misjudged the strength suddenly born in those wire-thin arms. He fought but Axel had him firmly pinned to the mattress like a butterfly in a kid's extensive collection. "Get off of me, you goddamn rapist!"
"Shush, baby," Axel drawled, running his teeth along the smooth arc of a tendon on his lover's neck. Demyx writhed as he received a particularly rough bite. No doubt now, that this was the old Axel. He'd never been considerate as a lover.
"You're a fool," Demyx breathed, a smile that might be mistaken for 'goofy', (were it not severely out of context,) blooming on his features. "You're not as strong as you used to be. Poor boy, naught but charcoal and matchsticks now…"
"Come again?" Axel laughed, "If you're so very confident then why don't you…"
He wasn't able to finish that. Demyx flipped him roughly. His hands were heavy on the redhead's thin throat.
"I could kill you right now… but you deserve worse, you whore," Demyx breathed, grinding his hips against whatever would give him that so-needed friction. In this case, Axel's thigh, "You always were a whore. Maybe something worse…"
"So were you," Axel hissed, "Why do you think Luxord always hated you?"
"Fuck you…"
"You want to?" the demon beneath him laughed, reaching up to claw the blond's back painfully. Demyx growled instantly, closing his hands tighter. Axel choked, but still he smiled that little lip-curl smile, still those glass-green eyes burned like acid… and Demyx couldn't deny how much this stirred him. He laughed, leaned down to part his lover's blue-tinged lips with a rough kiss, more teeth and bite than tongue.
Axel moved like a wave beneath the blond, forcing him to moan deep and gravelly with each inch of burning contact.
"I'm… I'm going to wreck you…" Demyx panted, stalling.
Axel smiled like a hungry cat, running his tongue over his teeth.
"You haven't got the heart, water-boy." The words were out before he'd thought, his smile faltering for the merest instant, but it more than enough to rouse the blond from his momentary hesitation. Demyx smiled like a dead reef, white and sharp and a tombstone for a thousand ships.
"I do now."
Axel laughed as the blond ripped at his pants, then his boxers, stripping them away roughly. Axel sped up the process, sliding out of his shirt, tossing it off into the corner of the room. Demyx paused, eyes running across every inch of Axel's pale skin.
"You ready for this?" the redhead asked quietly, tugging on his lover's boxers.
Demyx replied wordlessly, falling on top of Axel, tugging down said boxers and kicking them into a corner. He shrugged out of his sweater and instantly blinded Axel with it, draping it over the older man's face. This was followed immediately by the sheets. While Axel struggled, Demyx reached under the bed, selected a lube. The click of the top popping off alerted Axel to exactly what was happening.
"Dem, take it eas--… SHIT!" Axel cried, eyes tearing. There'd been no warning. "Mother of god… fuck…"
"Holy…" Demyx breathed, enraptured in the feeling.
"Ngh! Demyx!" Axel groaned as the blond started his motion, aggravating the burning pain even further. His breath caught in his throat as the blond found the perfect spot, and his legs wrapped around the younger man's waist instinctively. Demyx gave a choked moan, back arching beautifully. His head dropped below his shoulders, over-long hair falling over his face.
Axel grabbed himself, giving some much needed attention to his aching member, but Demyx lashed out at him, one hand iron-hard on Axel's hips, the other constricting his throat painfully. The redhead choked, reaching up to grasp the offending hand. He gasped as Demyx began to thrust much harder than he had before, leaning down to kiss Axel's sweat-slicked chest.
"I… I found heaven," Demyx breathed, withdrawing the hand on Axel's throat to stroke him, rough and hard in time with his pumping hips.
Axel breathed a barely audible curse. It's good. Really good.
The redhead reached up and grabbed two generous handfuls of thick blond hair, yanked downward. Demyx let out a passionate grunt somewhere between pain and engrossing pleasure. The hands disengaged, slid down the blond's arcing neck, past tense, hardened shoulders, down to his chest. His body is like stone carved to perfection. Each individual section of his ribbed abs is like a plate on a suit of armor, but so warm… so soft to the touch, that skin.
Axel moaned, not caring who heard him. He's never been very vocal, but on the receiving end, he was more than happy give his opinion. This obviously tooted Demyx's little horn because he gave a short, feral bark of laughter. Demyx picked up his pace again, bringing them to the frantic point of a storm at sea, the sinking of a burning ship and Demyx finally sings.
Long and loud.
He grips Axel roughly, his thrusts becoming erratic, pained almost. The redhead finally comes, body going limp almost instantly. He's so tired it's beyond words. Demyx leans down, a hand on Axel's neck again, strangling, but it feels strangely good. He doesn't complain even when he's coming to the brink of passing out. His vision blurs, eyes flutter shut, but oh god it's so good. His body goes cadaver limp and he feels Demyx's strain, hears the agonized moan and there's warmth.
Demyx's hand vanishes, but he has no intention of taking a breath. This is good…
"Breathe, you idiot," Demyx panted, half lying on top of Axel's prone form.
Axel obeyed, sucking in a strangled sounding breath. Another wave of sheer, unadulterated pleasure washed over him. Demyx's hands returned, but this time they massaged Axel's neck gently, encouraging his crimped windpipe to open again.
"That… was… so… good…" Axel muttered, drawing out each word deliberately.
"Yeah… we should… do that more… often," Demyx agreed as he nestled his head against his lover's chest. He was so passive when it was all over. Axel couldn't ask for anything better.
"It's going to hurt like a bitch in the morning."
"It is morning," Demyx laughed.
A long moment passed while both tried to catch their breath.
"Truce?" Axel asked softly.
Demyx seemed to think about it, arms wrapping tighter around the other's waist.
"Only if you keep your promise this time… the only time I've ever regretted having a heart was a few moments ago. Don't make me feel that way ever again."
"I promise. I promise on my heart, Dem. If I ever break that promise again, you can kill me. You had the right to first time 'round."
The blond grinned. "Deal."