The author would now like to ask you to do something. Chapters 1-9 have been back-beta'd, and there's more there to pick up... I'd like you guys to read them if possible, because that would be great, it would.
Another thing, I lost a watcher or two this last week, and it makes me think I did something wrong... I'm I getting too cliché on you guys? I mean, I can't recall exactly who abandoned because the list is growing up past thirty now... (for which I am extremely grateful) but whoever it was didn't tell me exactly what it was they didn't like. Well... I'm putting up my offer one more time: If you don't like something, just tell me. I'll probably go back and revise a chapter or two back if it's that unpopular. One thing I do refuse to change, though, is the fact that someone will die. It's the nature of a tragedy, and even if it does make me (and everyone else along with me) sad, I think I've decided.
But you know, it might not end all sad.
So with that said (the most I've said in a long time, I know) enjoy to the fullest... and please, please, please send your reviews! I may not respond every time, but really... I can't tell you how much it makes my day to get a little note on my silly little writings. Thank you all so much for sticking around as long as you have.
As you all know, this chapter was brought to you in part by the wonderful Mousewolf. Thanks and reverence should be directed to her. And without further a due...
::: Warmer Climate :::
"It's September," Demyx said softly, leaning over his lover; bright blue blazed down into equally luminous green.
"I know, Dem," Axel yawned, "Go back to bed, love."
Demyx ignored his lover's orders, pressed his lips down on Axel's temple, moving downward slowly pressing loving kisses on pale skin until he was at the corner of the older man's lips. He looked so fucking delicious bathed in the early morning's vaguely blue light.
"It's September…"
"I know."
"Then get up and fuck me, you idiot."
--- ---
Axel's nails bite into Demyx's smooth golden skin but he doesn't mind so much. When they're being gentle it rarely ever even leaves marks.
Demyx moans, deep and throaty, tipping his head down until spun-gold locks fall down onto Axel's neck and chest, tickling insidiously. Axel smiles and pulls his lover down against him, lips brushing the blond's. Demyx obediently opens his mouth and allows Axel to invade him as he picks up the pace. Demyx starts crying. He always cries when Axel fucks him this way, and though any one else would be turned off by this, it only makes Axel want to go harder, faster, stronger.
So Demyx cries and Axel continues to get even more unbearably hot.
The virgin turned nymphomaniac. He's such a beautiful thing when he's crying.
--- ---
Demyx was cooking eggs, not really minding that he hurt some. He was delicate no matter how he looked at it, and as much as that irked him, he tried not to let it get the better of him. He ignored it and wrote private odes to his sleeping lover, sang them quietly to himself until Saïx knocked at the door.
Even if it was kind of cramped in the apartment, Demyx toyed with the idea of inviting Saïx to live with them permanently. Not only was he a welcomed and very efficient lover, he was kind and generous and more often than not, he picked up the chores that Axel tended to neglect. Demyx let the older man in and greeted him with a friendly kiss on the cheek, a tight hug. It was reciprocated fully, matched with a rough but nonetheless loving kiss on the forehead.
Damn, but he's possessive.
"Come into the kitchen and we'll get you fed," Demyx laughed, whirling and trotting back down the hall in through the arch to the kitchen.
"Demyx…"
"Yeah," the blond called back, puzzled by the note of confusion on the older man's voice.
"What are you wearing?"
"A skirt. And a well coordinated tank top to match," Demyx replied coolly. He was completely at ease with the fact that he was cross-dressing and really didn't give a shit what anyone else thought.
Saïx was instantly behind the younger man, taking a handful of the soft, generously gathered fabric, a look of utter puzzlement still etched on his face.
"What," Demyx laughed, "Does it look bad?"
"You look good in brown," Saïx replied evenly, letting the deep earth-colored fabric to fall back into its heavy folds, fluttering down around ankle-length. It was almost disgusting how flattering his little white spaghetti-top tank looked on him. These were most assuredly a woman's clothes.
"Thanks, love. That's so sweet," he laughed, sweeping his over-long hair back from his forehead. "Will you go shake Axel out of bed? I'm almost done with breakfast."
"Is that macaroni and cheese?" Saïx mumbled skeptically.
"Is that a problem?"
"Just as long as nothing else goes in that pot."
"Deal," Demyx laughed. "But I'm putting bacon in mine whether you like it or not."
"Sure," Saïx sighed, trotting out of the kitchen.
Being who he always had been, anyone would have expected him to make minimal effort at wake the redhead, but Saïx was, in fact, much more like a big dog than anything else. He could have his playful moments. No doubt he was having one now.
With little ceremony, the blue-haired man kicked his shoes off at the bedroom door and launched himself onto the bed, bouncing both Axel and himself roughly. Axel bawled in his anger and bleariness, rolled over and tried to kick Saïx off the bed. All the while, the older man laughed and laughed, allowing himself to be rolled off the bed onto the floor.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Axel grumbled, "It's fucking 10:20. Let a man sleep, will ya?"
"No can do," Saïx laughed, "Demyx wants you in the kitchen."
There was a long moment of silence, broken only by Axel's softly wheezing breaths and the quiet, rhythmic drumming of Saïx's fingers on the wood floor.
"You better not have gone back to sleep."
"Saïx…"
"What?"
"Are you okay?"
The older man turned, golden eyes glimmering in bemusement. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Axel shifted as though uncomfortable, clutching his pillow to his body, half-curled in the fetal position. Only half of his face could be seen beyond the mattress, framed in flaming red hair.
"Since… Since that night I've been kind of worried about you. I've never seen you so, well, vulnerable, I guess."
Saïx was completely silent, flicking imaginary dust off of his black jeans. He finally sighed and shifted so that he was half on the bed, his bent knees pressed to the carpet by the bed. His face was only inches from Axel's, uncomfortably close for anyone else… but lately Axel had a strange desire to be close to the older man… too close, maybe.
"I'm still not sure what I think about all of this," he said softly, slowly. He seemed to be taking great pains in choosing and ordering his words.
"Do you think he's the reason we have to suffer?"
"No, but…" Saïx shook his head, "Karma's a bitch, Axel. We just have to pay for what we've done."
"But Demyx did nothing!" Axel moaned, "Why does he have to go through so much shit? Rights are we should get all this shit…"
"Not true…" the blue haired man corrected, "He did do terrible things… and we're getting our due—and much worse—punishment because of our 'gifts'."
Axel gave a disgruntled rumble.
A strong porcelain hand snaked up to Axel's cheek, lighted warm and completely uncallused, a soft thumb stroking the little bruise-colored tattoo beneath a brilliant green-apple eye.
"Saïx…" The older man shook his head, silencing Axel with naught but a glance.
There are angels in your angles
"Do you remember when we were lovers… before Demyx, before Roxas, before Xemnas even valued me more than a stone in his boot?"
"Yeah," Axel whispered. "I guess our stars didn't line up, huh?"
Axel felt a sort of vague sadness. He'd really been tossed around a lot back then – not that he'd much minded up until Roxas, but still…
There's a low moon caught in your tangles
"Sometimes I wonder… what went wrong there?"
"I don't know, but… You know, you should just forget about it. Remember… I'm counting on ya here." He cracked a too-familiar grin.
Saïx heaved a depressed sigh. "So that's why you egg him on like that? It's not right, Axel… it'll get both of us hurt in the end."
"He needs someone to hold him when I'm gone."
"Why do you have to die?" Saïx barked suddenly, his hand hard and frighteningly unyielding. He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, then finally took a sighing breath and withdrew his hand. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"Saïx… I'm…"
"What on god's green earth are you two doing?" Demyx grumbled, completely oblivious to the conversation that had been going on before.
Saïx looked up, luna-yellow eyes catching the morning glow like ghost fire.
"Sorry. We're coming," Saïx mumbled, standing up gracefully.
"Right. We'll be out in a sec," Axel confirmed, sitting up to watch the older man go.
Karma's a bitch, huh, Saïx? Tell me something I didn't know.
--- ---
Saïx never liked getting fucked up, but Demyx could be so endearing. And so now here he was, sandwiched between Axel and said blond on their bed, high as a kite. With Demyx mastering his mouth unabashedly and Axel's hands exploring places they had only found in distant annals of history he felt like a god being so lovingly adored but it still felt vaguely wrong. Still, he didn't mind with his hands occupied on Demyx's sculpted hips, slid up the skirt the blond had decided to wear. The older man's body tingled with the warmth Axel was creating in the pit of his stomach, his groin.
"Love me…" He breathed, breaking away from Demyx's firm lips, seeking tongue… tombstone teeth in their perfect rows. He tasted vaguely like fertile earth.
Death needs no explanation.
He could feel Demyx's sadness, those latent feelings of guilt springing out all of a sudden, flowing through to mix with Axel's apprehension and Saïx shrank back from them.
Death is as death does. You cannot control her.
"Saïx, hey…" Demyx whispered gently, his face nothing but frown and little rings of blue around the deep black wells of his eyes. "Love, are you alright?"
The shattered mirror and its warped reflections: it may say it loves you, but there's no truth in it.
Death will make no exceptions.
The fiery red of Axel's head blurred into view, and a slight weight finds itself a place on his chest. Saïx could hear the undertones of the redhead's thoughts: I am so sorry. He couldn't help but think that Axel would try harder if he were so sorry about all of this; he was just taking the easy way out of this, and it wasn't fair for anyone else. He was running.
"I never knew you to run from a fight, Axel," the older man said suddenly, pulling Demyx roughly down against him. The blond complied without a word and curled up next to his good friend. He was hot like an overheated radiator, but Saïx didn't think he could handle being alone any more.
"Shut up, Saïx. I don't run from shit."
Ah, how very Axel of him. Saïx was too tired to argue. And though he could tell the blond was up, Demyx said nothing at all, just hid his face in Saïx's hair, warm face pressed tight to the smooth white skin of the older man's shoulder. It took a while to realize, but it was the soft shuddering against his shoulder that alerted Saïx to the fact that the blond was crying. Whether Axel had told him or not, he already knew.
"Don't cry," Axel sighed.
"Love…" Demyx sobbed bitterly, "Love is watching someone die."
The room fell into uncomfortable silence.
So who's gonna watch you die?
--- ---
"Why can't we have a happy ending?" Demyx whispers, his breath nothing but green.
Axel rolls over on his back, bright eyes following the slow revolutions of the ceiling fan, a clove dangling limp from his knuckles over the side of the bed.
They're both so stoned. The apartment is hazy, and the dogs are enjoying the second hand. The tired smoke, pale incense, it's just so heady.
Axel would say something deeply philosophical, but he can't find it because the thought keeps swimming out of his grasp and he just settles for the next best thing. "I don't know."
Demyx sighs sadly. "Oh. Okay."
Axel, unnerved by the silence, finally speaks up.
"Hey Dem, 'bout your hair…"
"What?"
"Is it a mullet or a mohawk?"
Demyx laughed. "It's called a 'tail hawk', Axel. You'd do best to memorize that!"
"Oh, you suck."
--- ---
Demyx is smoking a cigarette on the porch while his hair bleaches out. He's tired as all holy fuck, but still he insists that they finish up with his hair. He got his 'tail hawk' trimmed back to a manageable length and now, for the first time in his life, he's dying his wild mane, a lovely shade of…
"Are you seriously going through with this?" Axel groans, slipping out onto the balcony with the younger man.
Demyx only grins like a fool. "Hell yes."
"Does it look any lighter yet, Axel?" Saïx calls from the kitchen. His long hair is caught up in a shower cap, looking close to platinum blond at this point. Demyx tilts his head down for the redhead to see and he inspects liberally.
"Yeah, it might be done."
"Come here Dem!"
"Almost done!" Demyx calls back, taking a prodigious drag and foisting the other half of the cigarette on Axel, who really can't say he minds all that much. So Axel relaxes while the other two fiddle with dying each other's hair, something that just seems frivolous to him. He's never had to.
"I didn't know you had brown hair," Axel hears through the cracked door, Demyx speaking.
"It's almost blond," Saïx responds, "It's hard to keep it long like this and dye it so much. I only bleach the whole thing when I really need to."
"Yeah… so does it look good?"
"Go wash it out."
"Sure."
"You never answered Axel's question, you know…"
Demyx laughs hard.
"I've always wanted purple hair," he proclaims loudly enough that he knows Axel can hear him on the porch, "What better time than now? Besides, it'll be really dark. Almost black."
Saïx gives a little derisive snort, "It should be amusing to see you with dark hair. You really don't look like a dark haired person."
"It's going to be black on the sides anyway."
"Get ye gone! You're going to fry that hair of yours. I don't want to see you bald," Saïx grumbles, though Axel would rather classify it as a pout, "You should never have done this to your hair. It's so beautiful."
Demyx just laughs and trots off to the shower without anything else to say.
Saïx, without anything further to do in the kitchen, finally migrates out to sit with Axel on the porch, slumping down into one of the battered old wicker chairs and pulling out a slightly bent menthol. He lights up with striking efficiency lets the breath sigh through his teeth.
"I didn't know you smoked," Axel mumbles, grinding the wasted butt out on the bottom of his shoe. He tosses it back over his shoulder, letting it fall to whatever doom it met three stories below.
"I don't usually," Saïx admits, "It's only an occasional thing because I like it so much."
"That could be bad," Axel laughs.
"Addiction has to start somewhere…" he trails off and they enjoy the relative silence for a while. As long as he's been living in this place, Axel has gotten used to the sound of the highway only a few odd meters off from his porch. Demyx had adjusted to the switch with amazing ease, having lived in a more or less quieter area of midtown before, and Saïx was unusually quick to adapt as well.
"Axel, I've been thinking…"
"Yeah?"
Saïx sighs, "Well, don't you think this is all pretty fucked up?"
"We've been through that enough to kill the subject. Graphically. I'm not really excited about all this, you know? I never asked to be the sacrificial lamb twice in two lives." Axel lights up another of Demyx's reds and inhales deep. Ah, sweet death-bringing, biting, stinging tar; carbon monoxide; tobacco; fiberglass.
Once by water, twice by fire. Thrice in the rain, and last as a liar.
"You never asked, but you never tried to avoid it either." Well, he does have a point there.
"What can I do, oh wise and mighty sage?" Axel grumbles sarcastically.
There was a sudden sly little smile curving on blond Saïx's thin, mobile lips. "Break the mirror."
Axel looks a little stunned at that suggestion, then his lips form the words almost instinctively. "It's September…"
Really it's almost October, but Axel could care less. It has meaning.
Though the statement has no meaning to Saïx, it really doesn't matter so much because he manages to pick up on the tension in Axel's voice. The redhead rises and directs his path immediately to where Demyx is showering in peace, probably with his incense burning to cover up the bleach smell.
Love me, love. One more time, for old time's sake.