Thankyou to 9-DArK-Moon-4, their review is the only reason i put up another chapter.
Skip to scene where company is sitting on the rocky hill.
Boromir is teaching Merry and Pippin how to peel an orange and not get juice on their fingers. In return Merry and Pippin are teaching Boromir how to eat the -already-peeled-orange without getting juice on his fingers.
Gimli is arguing with Gandalf over Moria and Legolas is watching a flock of evil, potentially dangerous birds, approach with rapid speed.
Sam, who is patting Bill's nose, asks "what's that?"
Gimli: Nothing, just a wisp of cloud.
Boromir: It's moving fast and against the wind (Frodo dully notes that Boromirs hair is blowing in the same direction as the cloud is moving)
Legolas: Crabirds from sea-land!
Aragorn: Hide!
Sam dives under a rock ledge and pulls Frodo with him, Boromir hides under some very sparse shrubs, Aragorn stamps out the fire grabs the companions packs and hides them under a rock, Bill the pony magically disappears and Merry grabs Pippin and pulls him under a bush.
Pippin: Wait, wait I have to…
Merry: Shut up Pippin! They're coming.
The Crabirds fly past and sweep around; one swoops and picks up something off the ground. The Crabirds fly off.
Aragorn: Thank god they're gone.
Merry: What was that thing one of them picked up?
Pippin: That's what I was trying to tell you! When you grabbed me one of my feet came off!
Everyone's staring at Pippin
Pippin: What?! It could have happen to anyone!
Gimli: Great! Now Saruman has proof that we're here.
Gandalf: Now we have to go over a freezing cold mountain.
Pippin: What, without a foot?
Gandalf "accidentally" drops his staff on Pippins head.
Gandalf: Fool of a Took, we brought extra feet with us.
Pippin: Phew, let's go then.
Company starts to march up a vertical cliff, it is snowing on them.
Pippin (whining): I think one of my feet is smaller than the other.
Frodo: The ring's getting really heavy; someone will have to carry me!
Merry: Yeah right. You just don't want to walk anymore.
Frodo shoots Merry a poisonous stare and continues to trudge up the hill. Finally they get to the top and are really, really tired.
They hear an evil voice yelling
Legolas: I hear an evil voice yelling!
Boromir: Well Duh! State the obvious why don't you.
Gandalf: It's Saruman!
Boromir: Well Duh! State the-
Gandalf hits Boromir in the mouth with a snowball.
Boromir: Pteu! C-c-c-c-c-cold, I ha-ha-ha-have s-sen-senastive t-t-teeth you know…Brrrr!
Gandalf: Boo hoo, your breaking my heart.
Aragorn: We are over half way already, we just have to run downhill.
Gandalf: No we have to go back. Sorry folks shows over,
All: Groooaaon!
They turn around but Frodo slips, Sam grabs Frodo's feet, Aragorn grabs Sams feet, Boromir grabs Aragorns feet, Legolas grabs Boromirs feet, Gimli grabs Legolas's feet, Gandalf grabs Gimli's feet and they all get rolled up in a snowball.
Merry and Pippin look at the snowball rolling away, then look at each other, then jump in the snow and start their own mini snowball.
The FABSLGG snowball flies off the cliff and plummets to earth and crashes in a ploosh! Of snow.
Everyone groans as they sit up, all except Gandalf and Gimli are hurt.
Gimli: HA! I am an indestructible Dwarf!
Meanwhile 100 prosthetic feet above him….
Merry and Pippin's snowball evaporates and leaves them flying helplessly through the air, as they re-enter the atmosphere the hairs on their little hobbit feet are singed this is extremely painful, but luckily Merry had stolen some crackers from a pouch he had found at the bottom of Caradhas.
After only six crackers Merry and Pippin are convinced they are flying and giggle hysterically as they plummet towards the helmeted head of Gimli who is half way through his speech of immortal ancestors and how his cousin Balin won back Moria single handedly.
Legolas who is floundering for his shiny elven blade to permanently shut the dwarf up, raises his hands in triumph as his blade glitters in the sun's cold light.
However as he turns his blade reflects a black dot, or maybe two in the sky. Shifting the blade so he can see better with his keen elvish sight he locates the two dots as falling directly above Gimli, and identifies the dots as Merry and Pippin.
Feigning interest in Gimli's story, Legolas shuffles backwards in the snow to allow room for the crater which was about to be made.
Sam and Frodo landed meters away and have just got up, start to massage their feet. Aragorn who has kingly sense's detects that danger approaches, and seeing Legolas move backwards also does so. Boromir looking confused also does so.
Gandalf walks over to tend to Sam and Frodo.
Aragorn finally sees the impending danger and opens his mouth to warn Gimli, Legolas smacks Aragorn on the back of the head.
(Skip to picture of Merry and Pippin giggling as they plummet towards middle earth)
(insert zooming music here)
Pippin and Merry would almost certainly be dead, if the Crabirds from sea-land hadn't developed a taste for hobbit.
The Crabirds came in a flock of thousands and started tearing at Merry and Pippins ears and feet.
This slowed their descent incredibly and only 4 meters above Gimli, the Crabirds leave Merry and Pippin.
Merry and Pippin started to gain speed again and now finally land, with a huge metallic thunk, on Gimli.
Aragorn crawls over to see if anyone needs help. However as he draws near Merry and Pippin simultaneously spring up from the snow and pelt Aragorn with snowballs.
Then still laughing like maniacs they rushed down the rest of the hill, and off to Moria.
Frodo: Oh no! Merry and Pippin ran off! I said Merry and Pippin ran away! Hello?
Aragorn: (brushing snow out of his beard) Good riddance…hmph!
Sam lets out a high pitched scream which echoes around the mountain tops.
Frodo: What is it Sam? What? (in a panicked voice)
Sam: Merry has all the food!
Boromir: Oh well, I'm sure we can…
Sam: And Pippin has all the mead supply…
Boromir: MY GOD! After them! (points at the two dots in the distance)
Boromir starts forward but is knocked over by Gimli who rushes past in a panic after his ale. As he gets up he is knocked down again by Aragorn. Frodo and Sam are already far ahead, with Gimli quickly closing the gap, Boromir finally gets up and pelts after them, his stupid shield bouncing everywhere as he runs. Gandalf sighs, walks over to a pile of snow and brushes off the powdery snow to reveal a bright red snowmobile, jumping on he revs up and speeds after TREC in a puff of snow cloud.
Camera zooms out so we get a clear view of the whole company and Gandalf on his snowmobile, the silhouette of Gandalf drives past Boromirs silhouette, Boromirs silhouette falls over, gets up and continues running.
By the time Merry and Pippin get to Moria they are very tired and collapse at the doors.
The others catch up and Aragorn and Boromir have to physically restrain Gimli from drinking all ale in sight.
Gandalf: Well here we are…Mordor!
Legolas: I thought this was Moria?
Gimli: Of course it is you stupid elf! I know Moria like the back of my hand!
Gandalf: How do we get in?
Gimli: I…uh…um…dunno
Frodo: What does it say?
Gandalf: Say friend and come in,
Frodo: Oooh that's a tough one!
Gandalf: I know.
The fellowship rest awhile camera zooms out