title: Watercolors of the Past
disclaimer: Let's just say that if I owned GG, things would be drastically different. Starting with more Michel! And Milo, of course.
notes: Sorry this took so long! "How to Survive Small Town Life AND Taylor Doose" was deleted from the site, and it put me in a bit of a writing funk. It has since been updated and moved to a new site, and the healing has begun. lolz. (By the way, the link to that story is now in my profile!)
You people are too kind to me. Every single review that arrives in my inbox brightens my day to no end. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story! Oh, soph, thanks for the Colin/Finn mention. They're in this chappie because of you!
This one is for Kat (Certifiably Insane) and Cody (marrymemilo).
chapter.five: i called it greed
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The sun rose slowly that morning. Lorelai watched the window for what seemed like hours as the light crept along the floor at a snail's pace. She'd been awake for quite some time now, yet she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. It was inexplicably early still, but that wasn't the reason. It was the unexplainable heaviness of her limbs that prevented her from moving, let alone standing.
She was so exhausted, she could sleep for days. If only she could actually fall asleep.
Lorelai pulled her gaze away from the window as the room was fully illuminated now. Rotating onto her left side, she was met by a pair of blue eyes examining her lazily.
"You must've come up late," Luke commented, stretching his arms far above his head, reaching for the ceiling.
Lorelai gave a half nod and a short, "Yep."
Her tone didn't phase him; instead he subconsciously attributed it to the early morning, assuming it was simply still laced with sleep. Sitting up, he questioned her further with an unknowingly naive, optimistic, "So, how'd it go? Everything good?"
"Oh, it's peachy." Her eyes stayed trained on the ceiling, arms at her sides, brow furrowed in deep thought. An odd position for Lorelai Gilmore to be in.
Staring at her dumbly, Luke sighed in frustration. "Are you being serious or sarcastic? It's too early for me to tell."
She sat up then, taking the time to carefully mush the pillows against the headboard to make herself a nice nook. As she settled, Luke realized that a story of some sort would most likely follow.
Putting her hands in her lap, she turned to Luke with a very serious look on her face. Inhaling deeply, she spoke in a very matter-of-fact manner. "Rory and Jess had sex."
A look of pure shock captured his face in confused distortion as he managed to utter a weak, "What?"
Any semblance of a calm demeanor that she may have been attempting to uphold vanished as she gestured wildly, adding, "Four times."
Luke immediately shrunk back. "Oh, god. I did not need to know that last part."
She spoke fast now, her words running together. "Oh, but you did. If I have to know it, then you have to know it. I don't want to know it. Do you think I want to know it? You have to know it, too."
"Jesus, Lorelai."
"Sorry, babe," she said, not at all convincingly.
"What about that other guy?" he realized, his pace catching up to hers.
"I don't know," she answered, shaking her head.
"What about your mom?"
Her response was the same; an exasperated, "I don't know."
"So," he paused, choosing his words carefully, "are they together now?"
"She wants to be. I don't like it Luke," she admitted, looking away from him. "I don't trust it."
"That little shit," Luke began angrily. "I can't believe he- after I- I knew this would happen. I should've never given him- I should've told him...god damn it."
At the last syllable, he threw the covers off of himself and stood up, fuming. Pacing back and forth, he continued his tirade. "I told him how now is not a good time. I told him that she was not in a good place. He just had to go there and - I didn't know he was actually going to go there. I didn't know, Lorelai."
Lorelai, who had been trying her best to keep up with her fiancee's ramblings, was sufficiently lost. (Now she knew how Luke often felt.) "Whoa. Back up. What do you have to do with this?"
"I told him where she was," he groaned.
Her head cocked to the side, debating whether or not she had heard him correctly. "You what?"
"We've kept in touch, you know, talking once or twice a month." At Lorelai's surprised look, he backtracked, "He is my nephew, Lore. Come on."
"Well, you didn't tell me about it, now did you?" she questioned.
"I knew how you'd react."
"No, you didn't," she argued, her eyes moved back and forth with his body as he continued across the room. "I would've been fine with it."
He rolled his eyes. "'Cause you look so okay with it right now."
Sighing, she rubbed her forehead, making an attempt to grab hold of the situation. "How did Rory even come up in one of your conversations? That's what I'm most interested in."
"It was after I told Rory about the engagement. Remember, I told her, but I hadn't told you I had told her, and I was talking to him and I told him about the engagement-"
"Luke," she interrupted him gently. "I need separate sentences here."
Nodding, he stopped his pacing. "I ended up going into how I'd told Rory when I shouldn't have told Rory and that I didn't know what to do, and well, some general details of the story came out," he paused nervously.
"Oh," was all she said. It sounded like an understanding 'oh.' At the very least, an indifferent 'oh,' which was better than a myriad of angry alternatives.
"It was an accident," he continued. "It's not like he wouldn't shut up about her or anything. I brought it up. And I didn't tell him about the boat, or school, or the community service. I didn't go into specifics. I just said that you two had had a falling out."
"Okay," she agreed (definitely understanding). "But...how did you get to the point where you told him where she was?"
Crossing the room again, he sat down at the foot of the bed. She crawled down, closer to him, and they sat facing the window. He took a moment to gather his thoughts.
"Well, he knew there was a rift. I don't know, it came up. He asked where she had been all summer. I slipped up and said 'her grandparents.' I mean, he'd been there before, so that must be how he knew how to get there, but I didn't think for a second that he was gonna-"
"Luke, I know," she interjected softly, placing a hand on his arm. "It's okay."
"I'm gonna kill him," he shook his head. "No, I'm going to call him and tell him that I'm going to kill him, then I'm going to go over there and kill him."
"You can't kill him. Rory would be a little upset. Not to mention Liz," she added, smiling now at his overbearing conviction. At his undying love for her and her daughter. So much so, that he would go after his own family to ensure their happiness. Such a silly man.
He waved her off. "Liz can get over it."
Smiling even wider now, she lay her head on his shoulder, reminding him quietly, "Plus, we have a wedding to plan."
His mind halted in the middle of its plan to dismember Jess at the sound of her voice. He smiled too, "I suppose we do, don't we."
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Lorelai entered the kitchen an hour or so later to find that her daughter had set up a work station at the kitchen table. Lap top open, cell phone out, papers of various hues scattered everywhere. She bent down to pick up a run away ballpoint pen and waved it in front of Rory, gaining her attention.
"Hey," she started. "I'm glad you're up; I didn't want to have to leave you a note." Rory stood up, shifting gears again. Lap top shut, phone in purse, papers organizing.
"Where you off to?" Lorelai asked casually, turning on the coffee pot and fishing out some wheat bread to make toast for Paul Anka.
"I have some errands to run," she offered vaguely. "Get my stuff from grandma and grandpa's. I need to talk to Logan."
"Right." Flipping the 'on' switch on the coffee maker, she turned to face her daughter. "Well, could you pencil me in for breakfast? Come on; you haven't had Luke's coffee in too long."
She held up and empty to-go cup. "Already been."
"Wow." Lorelai stood, mouth agape in front of her daughter. Lists, phone calls, coffee runs; and all before six o'clock in the morning. Rory version 3.0 was giving Rory 1.0 a run for her money.
Feeling uncomfortable under her mother's scrutinizing gaze, she elaborated, "Well, I needed coffee, and I couldn't figure out how to work the machine, so..."
"Oh, yeah. It's new. It's tricky," she added, patting the white surface adoringly. Abandoning her caress mid-motion, her head cocked to the side and she asked curiously, "Did you run into anyone at Luke's?"
"Not really," Rory answered hurriedly, moving back and forth between the kitchen and her room at a furiously fast pace. "Caesar was the only one working. It was early, so there weren't too many people there."
Watching her daughter moving at the rate of one Speedy Gonzalez, she shook her head incredulously. "How long have you been up?"
Meeting her mother's eye for the first time that morning, she smiled slowly. "Long enough."
"Yeah, you and me both," Lorelai agreed. Her head popped up, her short-term memory sparked by the bitter smell of percolating coffee. "So, breakfast?"
"I would love to, but I just have so much to do..." she trailed off, motioning in the general vicinity of her room, (a direction that didn't make sense but it seemed she had this overwhelming need to exercise her motor skills that morning).
Lorelai's face fell, but Rory was too busy packing up her lap top to notice. Recovering, she nodded gently and poured herself a cup of coffee, quickly putting the pot back under the drip.
"Oh, okay."
"Dinner?" Rory asked, distracted, fastening the straps to her book bag.
"Sounds good."
"Great." Successfully wrangling her bag closed, she slung it over her shoulder and grabbed her car keys. After scanning the area to make sure she had collected everything, she kissed her mom on the cheek.
"Oh, wow. You're leaving this second?" Lorelai called to her disappearing form.
"Don't wanna waste the daylight!" she replied from the hallway. The door closed with a dissonant thud, breaking through the early morning calm. The reverberations dissipated just as quickly as they had come, leaving Lorelai standing in the deadening silence, like the eye of the storm, the faint sound of the percolating coffee keeping her company.
The clicking of Paul Anka's nails against the hardwood joined the coffee drip, making her feel less lonely. He crept into the kitchen cautiously, looking every which way for the unknown girl. After peeking into her room and deciding she was gone, he settled at Lorelai's feet, tail wagging happily.
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She knocked on the door twice. Steady, strong rhythm. Business-like. Professional. Purposeful. No hemming or hawing.
Finn answered. Not who she was expecting, but she was thankful for the momentary distraction.
"'Ello, love." He stepped away from the frame, arms outstretched towards her with an excited grin on his face. "Are you in?"
Her eyebrows raised expectantly. "Excuse me?"
"We're 'ff on yet another misadventure, post haste. 'Could probably use a designated driver." He paused thoughtfully, adding, "Or a getaway driver, depending. You in?"
Smiling, she shook her head. "Not today, Finn. Is Logan here?"
"Sure he is. Pardon my manners, come in, darling."
He wrapped his arm around her (always the flirt) and led her inside the spacious apartment. Colin was sitting on the sofa, popping peanuts like candy and flipping through a Playboy. Classy.
Finn left her side, presumably to get Logan since he was nowhere in sight.
Not wanting to...interrupt Colin, but not wanting to stand awkwardly in silence, she opted for a general greeting. "Hi, Colin."
He nodded "Rory" without looking up.
Realizing the room was devoid of anything feminine, she asked, "Finally lose your milkmaid?"
This time he met her eyes, smiling. "She shipped off a fortnight ago."
"Pity."
Clutching his chest, he offered a weak, "Yes, I'm heartbroken."
Colin's eyes shifted, focusing on something over Rory's left shoulder. Turning to follow his gaze, she was met by a gloating smirk.
"Surprised to see you," Logan stretched his arms behind his back lazily. Cocky. Cocky, cat-like bastard.
Crashing down on the couch next to Colin, Finn looked knowingly between the two. "Uh-oh," he stage whispered. "We're still in a fiight."
Looking from the two to the third Stooge himself, she motioned to the door. "Can I talk to you please? Outside."
"No. No, anything you have to say to me can be said in front of the boys." His arms were across his broad chest now; was he trying to make himself look bigger, scary? Like you're told to do when you come across a mountain lion or a bear. Was she a mountain lion? A vision of her lunging at him and ripping his throat out made Rory smile to herself.
"Logan-"
He cut her off. "No, I really want them to witness the impending apology. They wouldn't believe me otherwise."
Unable to hide her surprise, her jaw dropped unceremoniously. "Apology? I did not come here with an apology."
"Oh, so you're looking for one?" His arms clenched themselves tighter, the veins visibly pulsating just underneath his skin. "Well, that's too damn bad."
She shook her head, a gesture that went right over his. He'll never get it.
"Please, Logan," she spat. "Like I'd ever expect something bordering humane from you."
"What do you want?" He looked towards Colin and Finn, eyes sparkling. He was expecting her to crack.
"To tell you that we're done." Her tone was final, strong and steady, full of conviction.
A low whistle escaped Colin.
The grin fell off of Logan's face slowly, in a frame-by-frame sort of haze. Rory's head was spinning; had she not been so angry, she would have loved the surge of liberation that flooded her senses.
"What?" he asked, eyes wide, not quite believing her, not wanting to.
"We're done, I'm done, it's over. Have a nice life." She turned for the door in what would have been an amazing concise scene had Logan not spoken up, had he not broken the moment, her moment, her perfect moment of perfect triumph..
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You- you can't just do that." It was a statement, one of equal conviction, almost an order. No one just leaves Logan Huntzburger.
"Yes, I can."
"Do you want me to say I'm sorry? Fine; I'm sorry, okay?" His arms flew up, leaving the comfortable cocoon of his torso, making himself look even bigger, even stronger. Fending off the mountain lion.
"No, it's not okay. I saw you for who you really are last night, Logan. And I didn't like it at all," she paused, chuckling to herself, laughing at her delayed reaction. Had it taken her this long to see? This long to realize who he was?
"I was drunk, that wasn't me, you know that. Come on."
Come on. Had she really fallen for that? She had, countless times. Come on; she had a drink. Come on; she took her clothes off. Come on, come on, come on...
"No."
"Ace...this- this is insane."
So is stealing a boat. So is not talking to Lorelai for six months. So is dropping out of Yale and working for the DAR and living in a pool house and...(Jess)...
"Well, maybe it is," she agreed. "Maybe I am, I don't know anymore."
"God, Rory, I love you."
This caught their audience's attention and Colin opened his mouth to say something. Finn noticed and he quickly stifled him, watching intently as the scene unfolded before them.
"No," she shook her head, unconsciously stepping back. "Don't say that Logan, you don't mean it."
"Yes. I do, I do."
Come on, come on, come on...
"It doesn't change anything."
"What does that mean?" He stepped towards her now, Colin and Finn's eyes following. Like one of those Felix the Cat clocks, she mused. (Like the one her and her mother used to have. Before things changed.)
When she didn't respond (instead staring blankly at him, through him), Logan's eyes shifted, realization dawning behind them. "What else is going on here, besides the fact that I hurt Kerouac's feelings?" he asked, incredulous.
"Jess," she corrected.
"Whatever," he waved his left hand dismissively. "Is this about him? Did you let him get under your skin or something?"
"I don't have to explain myself to you."
"He just got under your skin, that's all it is," he tried to reason.
"No, it's not," she practically shouted, leaving the room in a eerie silence, voice echoing off of the walls.
Bits and pieces of understanding clicked into place at her loaded words.
"So, you're leaving me. For some Vonnegut-wannabe that you hadn't seen in 5 years!"
Rory gave Logan a simple "Yes."
"You are insane," he decided, finger pointing at her. Like a gun. Boom. The only defense against a mountain lion.
"Wow, Logan," she rolled her eyes, "Way to win me back."
He brushed past her quickly, a blip in her line of sight. It was one of those rare (perhaps unheard of) moments on a college campus when everything everywhere was still; the door to the suite slammed behind him, the sound waves traveling all the way down the hall, bouncing across every single doorframe, rippling along the drywall.
Her chest heaved, her body completely draining of adrenaline. Colin and Finn, however, were just getting pumped up.
"Thanks for the show," Colin clapped. "I've never seen Huntz burned like that before."
"Brava, mi'lady," Finn chimed in. "So," he began conspiratorially, "is it really over?"
Colin sighed. "She's not gonna date you, Finn."
Holding up a hand, Finn reprimanded him. "Let the woman speak for herself."
Rory smiled slowly, taking comfort in the fact that Colin and Finn were Colin and Finn. She knew them. She could count on them, or at least on their reactions. Peacefully predictable in their spontaneity.
"I'm not gonna date you, Finn."
He hung his head sadly, shaking it side to side. "Shame."
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The bitter cold of evening cloaked the town, the taste of snow lingering in the air. The girls sat nestled in the warmth of the diner, for the first time in what had seemed like decades, sharing a comfortable but still generic conversation.
"So, he took it well then?" Lorelai concluded sarcastically, dipping a french fry in the ketchup rolling down the side of her burger.
Rory nodded, playing along. "Much better than I thought he would."
"At least grandma wasn't at the house when you went to pack up your stuff."
"Ah, yes. One last confrontation I can postpone."
Lorelai raised her coffee cup, motioning for a toast. "Here, here."
Clinking their mugs together, the two drank deeply and resumed their dinner, keeping the topics at hand fairly safe. The inn, Sookie and the kids, movies and music. Nothing about the wedding, or Yale, or the living situation. How things have changed. How Rory might not fit, not as perfectly as she used to. Jess wasn't mentioned at all, and Rory had yet to share the plans of her visit to Philly with her mother. But they were working their way back.
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notes: Again, sorry this took so long! And I'm equally sorry that there was no Jess. I'm just as sad about it. :( But don't worry; the next chapter is Rory in Philly. :D Lit moments galore, my friends. That I promise you. Thanks for reading!