Disclaimer: I wish I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, but I don't. I'm just a crazy fan. Happy? Fullmetal Alchemist is copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa. Story and Art by Hiromu Arakawa. I own NOTHING!!!
OOOKKAAYYY!!!
I know I had a Chapter 2 up before, but it seems to have disappeared again (o.O). I may have to re-write that Chapter 2, as I can't find it in my folders anymore (they're so messy a tornado would be proud)…
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Roy and Riza trotted back into the office, only to be greeted by Havoc.
"Hey, the General wants you to- What were you to doing?" Havoc cut himself off when he saw them. Riza's back was covered in snow and they were both rather flushed from having to run back up to the office again (Riza insisted they ran so that they'd still have time to finish the paperwork). Roy's hair was a mess and Riza's hair was messily put up again in the usual clipped up way.
"Training." Riza stated.
"You were training how to roll around in the snow?"
"Now we were-" Roy was cut off.
"OHH!!! I get it! Hahaha, good one, Roy!" Havoc winked at him and elbowed him a few times in the ribs.
"What?!"
"Oh I have to spread the news!!!" Havoc exclaimed before prancing out, forgetting to tell them whatever the General wanted them to do.
There was an odd silence before Riza cried out in dispair,
"NOO!!! Now everyone thinks we're going out!!! My military career is OVER!!!!!"
"NO!!! What will my date think of me now?!" Roy exclaimed after her, earning a strange look from Riza.
"What? My bachelor-hood is over now!" Roy continued.
"Quick! Stop him!!!" Riza ordered, even though she was a lower rank.
"How?!"
"We'll shoot him! Blow him up! Whatever!!!" Riza suggested loudly before the two of them raced out the office door again in search of the doomed-to-be-blown-up-or-shot Havoc.
-x-
The next day, Riza and Roy once again went to work- just like nearly every day of many years before then.
(Roy and Riza had stopped Havoc from telling everyone BUT Fuery…who had already ran away to tell even more people, but they stopped him from yelling it out to everyone BUT he had told Breda and Falman…etc etc, they went on a wild goose chase)
"Riza?"
"It's Lieutenant, sir" Riza corrected in reply.
"Err, right, well, the Fuhrer wants you to write ten reasons why you should stay by my side when I get promoted." Roy stated with a dead serious tone in his voice.
"Oh really?" Riza asked skeptically, not wanting to believe what Roy had said.
"Yes, really" Roy replied, still not changing his strangely serious tone.
"Hmm, should I call the Fuhrer and ask him if that's true?" Riza stated to herself, wanting to really make sure Roy was telling the truth.
"Yeah, go ahead." Roy walked over to his own desk and sat down.
'He's too serious, should I really call the Fuhrer about it?' Riza asked herself in her head.
'And what will you say to him? 'The Colonel told me to write 10 reasons, do I do them or not?'' Riza thought to herself.
'Oh just do it.' Riza gave in.
Riza pulled out a piece of paper and wrote at the top 'Why Riza Hawkeye Should be Promoted with Roy Mustang' (what a long title).
Roy lifted his newspaper open in front of his face, hiding the evil smirk on the said face.
Half an hour passed, Roy had done nothing once again, unless you count watching people out the window and doodling on a piece of paper 'work'.
Riza had actually worked diligently on her list that was supposedly for the Fuhrer. She had found it immensely hard as she too only had one or two reasons. So far she had written,
'1) I want to protect Colonel Mustang in order for him to become Fuhrer and change the way the government is run.
2) If I'm not there with him when he gets promoted, he will get nothing done. Nothing at all.'
Unable to think of anything else, she contemplated on doing the same as Roy. Or maybe just a bit.
'I could…do it in a more formal way, unlike Colonel's…'reasons'…' Riza decided.
But still another hour passed and she could not think of anything at all. How can you procrastinate out of writing ten reasons in a formal way? It's impossible! The only way to do it is to get your parents to sign a note saying that you can't do whatever you have to do (which is what I, the author, do quite a lot. You see, you have to get them to sign a blank sheet of paper first before -sorry, on with the fanfic).
"Lieutenant?" Roy snapped her out of her mental frustration.
"Yes sir?"
"Are you done? You've taken so long I've already finished all the paperwork." Riza panicked, but did not show it on the outside.
"Just about, a few more minutes should do it." Riza stated affirmatively. Roy nodded then turned to the window (to hide another evil smirk).
Riza turned back to her piece of paper. Then decided that she would just have to do what Roy did, stick it in an envelope, and make sure the Colonel did not read it. Riza nodded in approval to her idea and began scribbling away.
'Why Riza Hawkeye Should be Promoted with Roy Mustang
1) I want to protect Colonel Mustang in order for him to become Fuhrer and change the way the government is run.
2) If I'm not there with him when he gets promoted, he will get nothing done. Nothing at all.
3) I have to prove that women can be good military soldiers as well.
4) With all due respect, sir, I believe ten is just too much.
5) I believe my first three reasons are good enough, are they not?
6) Roy said I could shoot him if he went out of line, and I believe I should stay by his side and be prepared to shoot him at any time.
7) I would state more reasons of procrastination but I can't think of anything at the moment.
8) You can't imagine a Roy Mustang without me next to him can you?
9) I meant that in a professional way, we aren't seeing each other out of work hours. Did you hear anything from Havoc or Fuery? Or maybe Falman or Breda? Well whatever they said IS NOT TRUE.
10) I will not call this a form of torture like Mustang did (what a stupid idiot, he makes me wonder if he even has a brain), but this is definitely ridiculous.'
Riza slipped the paper into an envolope and wrote onto the top,
'To the Fuhrer.
NB: Colonel, Do not open this or you can say goodbye to your you-know-whats'
Riza nodded to herself and got up to give it to Roy.
"Here, I'm finished." Riza stated, holding out the envelope in front of Roy's face.
Roy, fighting the urge the snatch it and rip it open, took it from her.
"Thanks, Lieutenant. Could you go get a coff- GAH!" Roy cut himself off when he read what the envelope said on the front. Riza mentally laughed evilly to herself.
"Uhh, well, could you go get a coffee for me? I-I'll pass this on to the Fuhrer" Roy asked, his hand shaking as it held the envelope.
"Of course, sir." Riza walked out the door and to the cafeteria.
Roy looked down at the envelope.
'Oh no! What am I going to do, she's gonna shoot off my- if I read it!!! And her aim is so good! Even the snow knows that now!' Roy thought to himself.
'Who cares? Open it! Open it! You weren't gonna give it to the Fuhrer anyway!' Roy's head said back to him.
'Who are you?'
'Who cares? Just open it!!!'
'But she's probably serious about the shooting off my- '
'You think she'll really shoot you? If she shoots you she'll have no one to protect anymore!'
'She has shot me before you know.'
'…You're so unbelievably stubborn.'
'Yeah well, you're me aren't you?'
'…'
'…'
'…'
'Ha! Got you there!'
'JUST OPEN IT!!!'
The doorknob rotated slowly and the door began to open.
'GAHHH!!!' Roy's head screamed as Roy shoved the envelope into his pocket and stood up.
Riza stepped in holding two coffees. Placing one down onto her desk, she walked over to Roy's desk and placed it only his desk before looking at his frozen standing figure.
"Erm, what are you doing?"
"I'm going to the Fuhrer now…" Roy lied automatically (and slightly robotic-ly) before walking cautiously over to the door.
"What about your coffee?"
"I'll be right back for it later."
"Okay…"
Roy rushed out the door 'to the Fuhrer's office'.
-x-
The next day Riza walked into the office holding more paperwork and two coffees in a cardboard holder. She dumped 60 of the paperwork onto Roy's desk and handed him a coffee. She turned sharply and sat at her own desk, sipped her coffee, and reached over to get the first sheet off her share of work, but was stopped by Roy's voice.
"Riza?"
"Yes, Roy?"
"I am not a stupid idiot. And I do have a brain, it just prefers to hibernate all year round."
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Tada! Everything is sorted out again! Fourth Chapter possible, but don't get angry if I never ever again post up another Chapter. My brain just can't handle so many mad ideas.
R&R please! Everything is sorted out again! Yay!!
Originally Written Date: From 20th July to 22nd July 2007.