Disclaimer: Nicht mein.

A/N: I had a mishap writing this chapter originally. I posted another version, but I quickly took it off minutes after. One person did read it, and she therefore knows why/how Hermione got there. But she'll remain anonymous because I'm scared you lot would eat her alive for information. But anyway, I promptly got back on track after my initial post of chapter five (the other version was complete TRASH, just trust me on that).

I really, really like this chapter (mainly how it ends). So... I hope you guys will too.

Dedication: Snowy-Mel

Enjoy.

Chapter 5:

Waking up was hard to do. It always was for him, at least. He had terrible insomnia; he wouldn't go to sleep at all if his body didn't demand it. He laid in his bed for hours before finally, he could get his thoughts to completely blank out. This was always a tough task, since he couldn't remember a time when he didn't have something to fret about or things to plot. When he finally did get to sleep, it was a fitful one. He rolled in bed every few seconds, nightmares plaguing his mind. Then, when he woke up, he couldn't remember what the nightmares were about.

It was a sick feeling, waking up to be completely wet from sweat, heart racing, fear enveloping every ounce of your being, but not being able to know why. He supposed that that was probably how victims who were oblivated felt. That was probably the reason he could never bring himself to cast that particular curse on any of his victims. The paranoid part of his mind reasoned that maybe someone was casting a spell on him to make him forget his dreams. The rational side told him that it was completely normal to forget dreams. He didn't know which bothered him more- that someone could have control over his thoughts or that he was normal.

Occasionally, he'd remember a snapshot of a dream or maybe a silent clip of it. The last one he had was of a young woman with bruises over her body, her hair mangled with blood, her eyes shining with bravery. She stood there, wand in hand, shouting out a spell, while doing a complicated wand movement. Something hit her from the side, and she disappeared. This part of the dream was always filled with an unclassifiable feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him feel that this dream would somehow pertain to him or maybe even had already.

He didn't know if in this recurring dream, she disappeared because of the spell she was hit with or if she faded simply because he woke up. Feeling a connection to her, Severus always had a longing to seek her out. When he wasn't in the library to study or get his mind off things, he was trying to research dreams, the wand movement she used, the color of the spell she was hit with, etc. It was starting to become an obsession of his. It was a puzzle to solve, and Severus very much enjoyed puzzles.

But he couldn't allow himself to dwell on that now. He just woke up, devoid of any feeling, thankfully, though that still didn't stop his dread of the following day. He was counting down the days until he got out of this hell hole. He never wanted to come to Hogwarts; he wanted to go to a school where he could obtain what he was seeking: power. Though in Slytherin he did get power, there was only a small portion obtainable under the watchful eye of Dumbledore. If he had gone to a school such as Durmstrang, he was sure that he would already fully be studying under Voldemort. While he admitted to himself that he didn't like harming people as much as the people around him, he could also admit that he'd do anything to get power.

That was a constant thought on his mind. Severus was obsessive. He knew this. He used this to his advantage. He was obsessed with getting what he wanted. He was obsessed with ruling. He was obsessed with ruining James Potter and Sirius Black. He was obsessed with evaluating his dream and solving what it meant. He was obsessed with Hermione Granger. What purpose this had, he had yet to discover, but he did know that all his obsessions generally had reasons. He would find out why he was obsessed with Hermione Granger if it was the last thing he did.

Sitting up, he allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness around him. Though his curtains weren't drawn, there was very little light in the Slytherin dormitories. In the common room, they at least had enchanted windows that pretended they were looking outside toward the lake. It always amused him to see first years look at awe into them before finally trying to open them up. The windows stuck out a tongue and started laughing at the first year before putting a minor curse on them that made neon green words appear above the first year's head saying "I must not open windows that aren't there". He was a victim of this when he first arrived. Though it bothered him to great extent then (since the words didn't wear off for about 48 hours), he always shared a smirk when he saw it now.

"Oh how we digress." He mumbled sarcastically under his breath. Yawning, he swung his feet around the side of his bed before going through his trunk to find something suitable to wear.

Once he had dressed and finished his hygene routine, he walked down to the common room. The sight disgusted him. He had nearly forgotten it was Valentine's day until he saw Slytherins groping at each other without shame. They were clearly not educated on manners, these young kids. He knew that no self respecting Slytherin sixth or seven year would be doing this so publicly.

He turned to the fourth and fifth years with disgust, snorting at their display. They jumped apart before glaring at him, their faces turning into almost identical sneers. "I suggest you find a more suitable place to go about your business."

Turning to leave, he heard a comment that caused him to take out his wand. "Just because you'd never have anyone to do this with."

"Oh, my young naïve little boy, you need to learn respect for your superiors." Silently and efficiently, he waved his wand, causing the boy to have cuts immediately appear everywhere. He screamed out in pain, collapsing to the floor. Severus quickly did the counter curse, smirking. "That'll leave permanent scarring if you don't tend to it. Respect, boy."

He walked out of the common room and decided to take a walk around the lake. Unknown to everyone else, Severus actually thoroughly enjoyed being outside. He liked the atmosphere of the outdoors. The smell of trees, when he was close to the forest, reminded him of the smell of a fresh book. It was a smell he couldn't get enough of. It felt like he was soaking in knowledge. What he didn't like was when it was smoldering hot, and he didn't particularly like the sun either. It ruined the thoughts of him being in his own world where nothing could bother him. That's why he usually took walks in the early morning or late in the afternoon. Seeing as it was neither right now, he didn't know what compelled him to take a walk.

Was it to clear his mind? That was usually his reason. He'd take a walk half way around the lake and find a large boulder situated near the edge of the water. There, he'd skip rocks like he did on his own property when he was younger. He knew he could be there in private since it took about an hour to walk just half way around. People these days were lazy. They used magic for everything. The prospect of walking somewhere seemed utterly preposterous for most of them.

When he was almost there, he decided to take off his outer robe. It was mid February and still relatively cold, but walking long distances in the sun brought him almost to a sweat. Swinging the robe over his shoulder, he walked the rest of the way quickly. Throwing an arm around the lowest boulder, he started to climb up the smooth surface. Once he reached the top of the highest boulder, he was more than a little surprised to see that it was already occupied. The sun right in front of where the person was sitting, he couldn't quite tell who it was.

Deciding to abandon hope of finding peace here, he started to climb back down. Then, the person turned around, and he realized who it was. He had conflicting emotions of seeing her here, of all places. This was the second time she had stolen his spot (the first time being in the library), but he didn't seem to mind as much that she was sitting there. Her brown hair was becoming even more unmanageable in the light wind, her eyes even more vibrant in the sun.

"Severus." She spoke, her voice sounding as relieved as ever. It reminded him of the first day she was there. Only this time, her voice mirrored what her eyes spoke once again.

"Yes?" He asked dumbly. He was almost rendered useless around her.

He hadn't been in close proximity of her (minus last night) in far too long. In classes, she was so close but so far away. He never realized how much he had grown to depend on their nights in the library until they were gone. They were his last salvation. She made him feel like he wasn't a bad person- like he was good for something else other than killing and potion making for Deatheaters. She gave him an odd sort of purpose and satisfaction. Now, being close to her once again, she was like a drug. He was almost scared to say something else in fear that she would run away from him again.

He wouldn't let that happen. He couldn't let that happen. He had been so caught up in his worries that he hadn't realized she had begun to spoke. He was so mesmerized by her lack of anger and fear that he didn't hear a word she said. She was beautiful when she was nervous, but then again, she was beautiful when she was angry, upset, or happy also. He hated himself for admitting it, but he hated himself even more for not realizing it sooner.

"I'm sorry for my words." He said, not knowing if she was still talking or not.

He focused back on her, watching her close her mouth in awe. She may've thought it was a big deal that he apologized, or she may've thought it was far too late. He knew that this was all he could give her at the moment. Never had he apologized before, and he didn't think he ever would again. If he wasn't so set on her reaction, he might have mentally slapped himself or made some crude remark just to take it back. He was, however, set on her reaction. She had him hanging by every expression, every emotion that flashed through her eyes.

She sat there, unsure for a few more minutes. Severus felt like it was a hopeless case now. He had ruined the relationship with the only person he had ever truly called a friend. He only regretted that it took him this long to figure out that that's what she was to him. 'You'll never know what you've given up until you have actually given it up'. Lupin probably hadn't made such a grave mistake as he had. That's most likely why he now had her heart, and he… well… he had nothing but a future of death and despair.

He was about to turn back around to jump off the rock when she stood up, rushing to take him in a hug. Her warm embrace instantly took him back to his mother. When he was young, he had few good memories. One of them was of his mother teaching him how to ride a broom. His first attempt was his first experience of failure. He fell off from almost ten feet. He couldn't bring himself to cry though he was absolutely frightened. His mother sensed this and took him in her arms. She had wrapped her robes around him, speaking words of encouragement to him. He promptly got back on the brook and flew.

Hermione's grip was tight, one arm coming around his neck while the other went around his upper back. He stood awkwardly for a second before he told himself not to over think things. He let his natural instinct take over, pulling her closer to him, one of his hands teetering dangerously close to being in an inappropriate place. He stood there silently, waiting for her to pull back. He didn't have experience in how long hugs usually lasted. After about a minute or two, she pulled back, her eyes glistening with tears.

His fear was quickly washed away when he saw that these tears were happy ones. "I've missed you. I was so upset that you were angry with me." She said before taking him into another hug.

This time, he was more confident and pulled her a bit tighter, leaving no space between them. He tried to not let her scent drive him to the brink of madness. She smelled like his beloved trees. Breaking away soon after, he couldn't help but smile at the girl. She looked even happier than he felt at the moment.

"I'll assume I'm not being ludicrous when asking for your company in the library tonight?" He asked, a friendly smirk gracing his features.

"I'd say you're not being ludicrous at all. I'd say you even wouldn't be ludicrous if you asked for it to be a date." A brave, determined look graced her features, a challenge reading very clear in her eyes.

He always loved a challenge.

"Oh really, Miss Granger? What would you say if I asked you if it was alright to kiss you?" He smirked, all rational thought leaving his mind beside the game she was playing right now. She wouldn't answer that. There wasn't a chance in the devil's hell.

"I'd tell you to do it.

And he did.

A/N: (smirks)