Disclaimer: If I'm Luke's father, then this story is mine. Till then... No. Just no.

Enjoy!

Chapter 6:

The kiss was pure and innocent from the beginning. He quickly bent down to her small frame, taking her in his arms once again. By now, it seemed natural. His lips touched down on hers, and he couldn't help but think about how soft they were. They radiated purity just like her entire being did. This same purity had reeked from her very core since the time she was born, most likely. Now, it felt like it was being transferred right into him. He couldn't help but relish the feeling and want more of it. Never before had he felt anything even close to this feeling. This kiss spread from her lips to his entire body.

It shook his thoughts.

He broke apart from her, pushing her away slightly. Confusion and worry quickly replaced the feeling of bliss that she instilled in him just seconds ago. He quickly felt angry at himself for allowing this to happen. What was he playing at? Kissing her! He snorted at himself. She was clearly with the damned werewolf, and while he had deep hatred toward him, he would not help her to betray his trust. For all Severus knew, she was doing just that to him also.

And the nerve of her! She was egging him on; by now she knew that he could not resist a challenge.What was she playing at? Did she want to play him for a fool? Was that her purpose? How could such infidelity still cause her to radiate that same damned purity that it did? Even if she wasn't with Lupin, how could she do that to him? He felt anger coursing through his very veins at every question that popped into his mind. Yet, he still couldn't voice any of this out loud. In fact, he wasn't even aware of her presence any longer as he went deeper into a whirlwind of thought.

He knew she cared for him. He had seen it numerous times in her eyes as well as on her expression. She was so easily read that he was sure anyone who looked could read her. So, why was she doing this to him? She couldn't possibly be interested in pursuing any sort of a relationship with him. She had so many choices. He was sure that she could get anyone in Gryffindor (except for blasted Potter), anyone in Ravenclaw, and anyone in Hufflepuff. It wasn't that she was traditionally beautiful or looked like a common whore; it was that she shone with such passion that her inner beauty sunk into anyone she was around. Why would she want him? He wasn't ugly, but he certainly wasn't handsome. He didn't find himself to be particularly interesting. He was overly cocky. What would be her motivation to want him?

Severus had had previous relationships. He found himself genuinely interested for the first time in a female the summer after his fourth year. He met her while on a walk in the woods just off his property. Past the wards his mother had set on the property was a small muggle village. It was one of his first encounters with muggles; it was before his current values were drilled into him. He was curious as to how they lived and couldn't help himself from exploring.

He discovered that muggle life was exactly like wizard life, except for the fact that it was a lot tamer. He walked further into the town, gripping his wand in his pocket. He could still remember the thoughts running through his head as he walked on. He was right in front of a grocery shop when he felt someone slapping his back. He was about to turn around and yell at the person, when he heard the words "TAG! YOU'RE IT!" shouted loudly. He wasn't sure what this meant, but he was going to find out.

He saw a girl about his age with dark blond hair and green eyes, run off in the other direction. She was his complete opposite. She was carefree and happy. But, as he was still innocent then, he chased after her to find out what she meant. Having a tall, lanky frame, he quickly caught up to her. He asked what the meaning of what she did was. She laughed in his face. He felt angered and was about to tell her just that, when she explained the game.

He looked on curiously, asking her what the point in this was. Her brothers showed up beside her, laughing at him also. She giggled, telling him that it was fun. Still not understanding what fun slapping and chasing each other around was, he quickly closed the gap between them and touched her sunburned skin slightly, before repeating the words she had said.

He spent more and more time in that muggle village during the summer after that day, and he was in an almost dismal mood when he had to leave after summer. He told her that he had to go away to school for the year, but that she could reach him through letters to his parents. And she had. He was heartened to receive a letter just a week into the school year. It was all rambling about what her school was like, before asking him how he was doing. He responded with a short letter telling her everything was going as expected. Each time, she wrote back with a long letter, telling him she couldn't wait to see him again. That winter break, he went home and spent Christmas with her.

On New Year's Eve, his parents had planned to go to a party thrown by one of their magical friends. He was saddened by the fact that he couldn't spend the evening with her. Then, she invited him to spend the night with her, her two brothers, and her father. She pulled him aside into her bedroom, telling him how she usually only spent this day alone with her father and brothers because her mother had died on this night, five years ago. She confessed that she had been on her way back from across the country because of her. She cried in his arms, but he didn't know what to do to comfort her. So, he did the only thing he could think of. He kissed her under Mistletoe on New Year's Eve that night. He asked her to be his girlfriend just a night later.

Then, this previous summer (after having been introduced to Pureblooded ways), he was trained to be a Deatheater. He pledged his allegience to the Dark Lord. He was young and naïve when he did this. He didn't think this would have any effect on her. But it had. He had been given a task to prove his loyalty shortly after the initiation. It was to get rid of his last remaining link to the muggle world (except for his blasted father). He had to kill her.

He had faced the most difficult choice of his life. He could give up his life (it was much too late to go against Deatheater ways) to save her (which wouldn't do much good as she probably would have been killed anyway), or he could gain what he was seeking. With second thoughts going through his mind the entire time, he raised his wand to kill her. He could never forget the frightened look on her face. It still haunted his dreams. He tried to summon enough hatred toward her to kill her, but he couldn't. His killing curse came out as a mangled cry. His real thoughts and feelings somehow disrupted the flow of the curse, and she had a slow, painful death.

He could still hear the cold, empty laughs of the Deatheaters who had accompanied him on his task. They took turns raping her in her torture. She cried out, not understand what she did wrong. He kept himself from rushing to her side, to take her lips once more, to try to find a way to save her from this experience. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to. He just watched her suffer, her last confession still lingering in his heart. "I love you."

And now, it would all happen again. He'd face the same heartbreak he did then. He knew that she would either go back to Lupin, or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named… Voldemort… would find her. Either way, he'd lose. He always lost. And he always would.

"Severus?" He snapped out his thoughts, thoroughly worn from the flashbacks he had had. Her soft voice called to him, her fingers brushing against her lips.

"What are you doing to me?" He asked, just as slowly, not caring that he was opening up his thoughts and feelings to her through his face and eyes. "I can't think around you. When I'm around you, you obscure my thoughts on the outside world." He didn't see the point in caring whether or not his feelings were well hidden from her or not. He couldn't help but feel that she could already read into them either way.

"I don't mean to do that. I just…" She trailed off, her fingers grazing her lips once more before continuing. "I'm not sure. I want to be friends at least. I feel myself drawn to you, and I'm not sure why." He could see confusion etched over her face just like he knew it was on his.

"Why? I know you can read into me. I see that you can. But do you really realize what I'm capable of? What I've done and will continue to do?" His expression turned to one of frustration as he turned outward to face the water. All thoughts of Lupin momentarily slipped out of his head.

The giant squid reached one of its tentacles out from beneath the surface of the lake and grabbed a bird. The bird squeeled in pain, but the squid didn't let go. It squeezed the life out of the bird before it disappeared with it under the water again. All that was left of this act were a few brown feathers floating on the surface of the water which quickly calmed down, gentle waves moving along caused by the wind.

"I know what you're capable of." She said softly, a sad expression gracing her face. "I know what you've done. I also know you're better than it. You're too good to be controlled by him." She said, a bitter tone in her voice when she came to the last word.

He looked away from her again, sitting on the edge of the boulder near lots of little rocks. He faced out toward the water again, picked up a rock, and skipped it across the lake. It bounced five times before it went under. He wasn't too good for a life of murder, crime, and despair. He was destined for it. That's all he could do. It was too late to repent his ways or try for anything else. And even if he could, he wasn't sure he wanted to. The only thing in his life that had yet to let him down was power. Why would he give that up?

"You give me too much credit, Hermione. I have made my bed, and I will now lie in it. I've already killed. It's too late for me. You'd be better off not associating with me at all. You're too good. You're too innocent. You're too pure." He said, his eyes closing as he laid down on the rock.

"I'm not who you think I am. I'm no better than you." He could feel her sit down beside him. She laid down next to him, her head resting just beside his. "I'm not innocent. I've spilled blood. I've killed with my wand just as you have with yours." Her voice was filled with no regret, only a slight hint of sadness.

He didn't know what to think of this revelation. She had killed? But she seemed so innocent and just and pure. Never had he misread a person, but he had obviously done so quite drastically with her. What could have caused her to become angry enough to kill? Was it even out of anger? It could not have been for pleasure. There was no way in hell that she was that type of a person. He also didn't think that she would lie about something like that. She had killed, indeed, but… had she done it out of necessity?

He knew that he could interrogate her or slip into her mind. It was likely that the topic was still freshly on her mind just as his own murders had been on his. He could quickly go into her head and see just what was swimming on the surface of it. Then, he could probably also find out where she was from, what she was doing here, and what her real reason was for being this close to him if indeed she did have an ulterior motive. He wished he could, but he couldn't bring himself to do that to her.

She never questioned him, and he never questioned her. That's how their relationship had been in the past, and that's how he wished it would continue to be. But… this was already disrupted by their current meeting, and he didn't think it could ever go back to what it was before. Not with her confession… not with that kiss…

A/N: K so... the girl.. what'd you guys think about her? I promise she's not random. I hope you didn't mind her. It was really a bit emotional for me to write her and the events (since I try to take on Severus). I was debating whether I'd include her now or wait until later, but since I want her to pop up later, we'll see. (wink wink hint hint nudge nudge). But anyway...

Like it? Love it? Wanna stone me for posting it? PUSH THAT BUTTON!

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