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Severus sat at the Slytherin table, the golden plates and goblets bathed in light rays of early sunshine. Gulping, the boy hesitantly reached for a loaf of bread to smear butter on. A hand descended on his shoulder suddenly. He jumped badly and in a panicked movement scrambled from his seat, stumbling backwards he fell on the floor. He struggled to his feet, eyes wide with fear and confusion amidst the general laughter.

Snape shook his head slightly, fruitlessly attempting to reduce his growing headache. Such embarrasment...fortunately, no one had recognized the real reason for his panicked response. They had, however, won one good weapon against him and from thence on Potter and Black had taken to surprising him in the corridors until he had become quite adept at walking around with a suspicious and cautious step.

'Oh. I'm sorry did I startle you?'

The hazel-eyed Gryffindor asked, surveying him with a satisfied grin. Snape's usual glower closed over his face, his eyes narrowing.

'What do you want Potter?'

'Simple greeting.' James excused himself in his most innocent tones, raising up his hands. His smile returned, widening if it was possible, as Sirius Black approached.

'Seems like sleeping at night doesn't suit bats very well.'

Filthy git.

He commented, gaining snicckers from everyone who was watching. The Slytherins were watching silently, though their full attention was devoted to the encounter- they seemed to be deciding whether Snape was worthy of being in their House.

'As I suppose the reason you're late to breakfast Potter is your battle with your hair took longer than usual? Send my condolences to your comb.'

James turned a slight shade of pink as the Slytherins nodded and smirked in approval.

'May be. It seems you had the same problem with shampoo.' He responded with a haughty air.

'It's obvious who lost.' Sirius added with a bark-like laughter.

The dark eyed child's lips were twitching in disgust and anger when Dumbledore's calm, soothing voice rang through the hall. The old man stood up and smiled benignently on the threesome.

'Come on now boys. Return to your respective tables and let us eat in peace, shall we?'

It really was incredible how such a great, powerful, seemingly all-knowing wizard like Dumbledore could overlook the most obvious things. And yet, it was not important, was it? He was not important. Seeing it through the Headmaster's eyes he had probably just believed two mischieveous Gryffindor were simply having some fun. Who cared if it was at a Slytherin's stake?

Potter and Black gave each other high fives before striding off to their cheering housemates, inmensely smug grins on their faces. Severus sat down again, though his appetite was gone, his eyes staring blankly at the plate before him, struggling to contain the tears as the first flickers of hate burned his coal-like eyes.

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It was quite a subdued Severus Snape who followed his Slytherin classmates along the Hogwart's corridors, still torn between anger and embarrasment by the morning's incident. The walls aquirering a certain dampness and chiliness as they descended down to the school's lower levels. Upon reaching the dungeons were Potions classes were held the first years filed in, Snape choosing a discreet seat near the back of the class. A few moments later the Gryffindors arrived, laughing noisily. Black eyes narrowed in anger as he saw James and Sirius enter, taking a seat near two other Gryffindor boy's whose names he recalled were Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

A woman stepped in silently, the door closing behind her with a snap, the class immediately fell silent. Her eyes were a pleasant shade of light brown surveyed the room without a word.

Severus felt a burning sensation travel down his throat and into his stomach, as though he had swallowed a globe of fire. He had found some contentment with that Professor, a kindness and acceptance he had not know before. Rosjolie Mortnoir, with her fair milky skin and warm chocolaty eyes. She had taught him as much as she knew. Pity she had died.

'I am Professor Mortnoir, I will be teaching you Potions the next years. Potions require a lot of attention, therefore I will tolerate no foolishness in my class; few will gain the knowledge I truly wish to impart you. Force of will, time and dedication are needed for this branch of magic and everyone's complete attention. Today we shall begin with a simple potion to test your skills...'

Well, she had been killed. Murdered. Brutally tortured as they tried to win her over as Voldemort's Potions Mistress. He had been given the job instead.

She waved her wand and a series of neat notes appeared in the blackboard in glowing blue chalk. The memory rushed by as the class worked, Snape bending over his cauldron. His face transformed with utter concentration, his hair falling all over his face as he poured the ingredients carefully over the bubbling purple liquid.

'Ewe, Professor. Snape's going to ruin the potion with all that grease dripping into it.'

Sirius Black's mocking voice broke through the room, gaining quite a few laughs, mostly from the Gryffindors although a few of the Slytherins joined in too. Severus straightened up, and looked resolutely at his potion, stirring it clockwise for a few seconds, watching as the potion grew clearer with every stir until it was a pleasant shade of turqoiuse.

Professor Mortnoir walked over to him and inspected the potion closesely.

'Five points from Gryffindor Mr. Black, for interrupting my class with such inmature stupidities. Mr. Snape's potion is in perfect condition- ' she paused and strided over to the other boy's cauldron. The potion was a bright acid green, distracted he had forgotten to add the daisy roots.' -Unlike yours.'

Her voice- so sweet, like a cup of warm, honeyed cocoa. His hands twitched, wishing he could shut out her ragged screams by covering his ears, but the shrieks were in his mind. The mug had shattered, the liquid long since dried up on a bloodied dungeon floor.

Snape smiled unpleasantly as Black's potion was cleared, the boy shooting him a look of loathing as the pale child ladeled a flask of the potion he had been brewing.

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Eleven-year old Snape stared open mouthed at the decorations, black eyes wide with surprise as he entered the Great Hall. Enormous, vivid green pine trees ran through the room, bathed in crystal frost while glowing fairies twirled around and slid down sparkling icicles. Few students had remained for the holidays, although sufficient for each to sit at their own tables.

'Merry Christmas.'

William Veleno, a Slytherin second year to whom he had spoken a few times greeted him with a smile as he sat down beside him.

'To you too.'

Snape answered awkwardly, and piled a few pancakes onto his plate before pouring liberal amounts of maple syroup on them.

'What'd you get?'

The other boy asked eagerly, his cheeks flushed with excitement. Severus stared at him with a slight frown.

'In what?'

'For Christmas! Presents, you know?'

William responded, staring at him as though he were mad. Snape frowned slightly, he'd never really gotten any presents. They hardly celebrated Christmas at home at all, at least- not with him.

'N-nothing...'

The other boy laughed incredolously, gaping at him.

As he watched the memory unfold and rush by, he really could not summon any emotion except a deep bitterness and profound sadness.

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Snape was knocked to the floor as he bumped into another student upon leaving the Great Hall. He raised his eyes to a kind smile and bright green eyes crowned by lustrous red hair.

'Sorry Severus.'

Lily Evans excused herself, extending a hand to help him up from the floor. Shaking greasy strands from his face he scrambled backwards trying to avoid her and finally struggled to his feet on his own, the process was witnessed silently by the girl, who watched him with a small frown of concern. The Slytherin did not respond but skirted her and continued striding down the corridor. Lily followed him.

'Merry Christmas.'

She said pointedly, finally grabbing his arm to stop him as he did not cease walking. He pulled away from her grasp with a hiss and frowned at her, eyes narrowed.

'What do you want Evans?'

'There's not need to be so unpleasant all the time you know?'

'Fine. Merry Christmas. Are you happy now?'

'No! Really. Can't you be still for a moment so we can talk?'

He shook his head in bewilderment.

'You. Me. Talk? Have you had too many Butterbeers Evans?'

She frowned at him, upset.

'We're the only first years left here over the holidays, apart from that Hufflepuff bloke. I thought we could spend some time together.'.

'Whatever for?'

'To get to know each other a bit more!' She answered incredolously, her detemination to getting to know the mysterious Severus Snape reinforcing.

'If you cannot bear to be alone for two weeks then buy yourself a pet.'

Snape answered rudely before turning off and leaving quickly.

He really had not (and did not) deserve her, that friendship she had offered him. Still he treasured the memory, of what once was- the closest he had come to happiness- dearly; like a diamond nestled in his heart, even if it was tainted with blood.

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A pleasant sun was making the sun sparkle brightly, as if it were a mantle of stars.

'Severus!'

Snape rolled his eyes as Lily Evans came bounding after him in the corridor, her hair tied in a tight ponytail.

'Hi. How's everything?'

'Evans, do you remember what I told you yesterday, or is your memory as limited as a fish'?'

'I remember, but I've forgiven you for your rudeness. Now, how about a walk around the lake, it's a nice day.'

The dark-eyed child seemed on the verge of sputtering in surprise at her bold attitude. He shook his head in denial.

'I'm not giving up so easily Severus.'

His eyes narrowed.

'Will you stop pestering me if I go on your bloody walk around the lake?'

'Might...' she responded, grinning.

He missed her, Snape realised suddenly. He felt tears threatening to spill once more as he thought of all the mistakes he had made... He had erred just by coming here, should have written a letter and ended his life before anyone could think of looking for him. But he didn't deserve that, did he? No. He had to help. He knew the delicate balance would never be regained; that he could not atone- no matter how many lives he saved he could not make up for the ones he had taken. Yet he had to try, even a small tilt would be a reward. Perhaps some day he could find peace inside. He doubted it.

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'I want to see you smile Severus.'

Lily told him seriously as they stood outside, the Hogwart's grounds a pearly white mantel of soft snow.

'There is nothing to smile about Evans.'

Indeed. It seemed foolish, to smile and wave at the world while it only turned it's back and showered you with poisonous daggers.

Her green eyes narrowed mischievously and she bent down swiftly, scooping up a handful of snow and threw it in Snape's face. The Slytherin stood stock still for a full moment before wiping the white substance from his face with an impatient hand, though a smile was indeed tugging at his lips.

'How would you like for me to throw you into the frozen lake?'

'You wouldn't!'

She laughed and threw another snowball at the boy, which exploded against his chest. Severus narrowed his eyes and then smiled serenely aiming a white projectile at the bobbing red hair of the Gryffindor girl. Lily grinned and laughed happily as her hair became covered with snow.

Yet he missed her smile. He knew it was out there, he knew she was smiling and laughing with Potter and his friends- but never again with him. Perhaps it was better that way. Severus sighed, head still throbbing painfully, now in league with his heart.

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A soft ambient music played around the Slytherin common room, dark green cushions and armchairs occupied by chattering seventh-years, celebrating their final graduation from Hogwarts. Snape was walking around somewhat bored when someone grabbed his arm. The touch was gentle and yet, startled, he immediately stiffened. Lucius, to whom the fair hand belonged seemed to have noticed. He licked his thin lips, as though savouring the caramel liquid that was being passed amongst the students,but it made the first-year uneasy.

Oh, yes. Lucius was privy to some of his secrets. Rather against his will really. Now he regretted it more than ever- never hand your enemies a list of your faults and fears.

'Well, well Severus. How are you?'

Malfoy asked amicably, smiling warmly, although his eyes remained cold. Severus looked up at the seventh-year, his face full of painful hope.

'Fine, thanks. How're you Lucius?'

White blond hair rippled as Malfoy shook back his head and laughed pleasantly.

'Oh, very good. I have already received some enticing offers from the Ministry of Magic.'

Snape nodded with interest.

'Do you know Severus, Professor Mortnoir, Head of Ravenclaw though she is, mentioned some wonderful things about your potions to Professor Giftiger.'

Black eyes lit up at the unusual praise and roved around the room towards the Slytherin Head of House, who was seated conversing with a group of graduating students.

'Thanks.'

Lucius inspected him closely for a moment, as though he were trying to decide whether to confide in him or not, though cold humour played behind his mask of friendlyness.

'Severus I want you to know something.'

'Yes?'

'That you can always trust me. Believe in me as I believe in you and your abilities.'

'Of course.'

'I have a feeling we can expect great things from you Severus. Be a proud Slytherin and don't bow down to those idiotic Gryffindors. Remember I believe in you.'

'Thank you Lucius.'

Thank you Lucius. Thank you for guiding me safely down the path to hell; for holding the leash tied around my neck; for whipping my sides when I almost turned back; for feeding me blood when I grew thirsty; for bathing me in tears when I grew dirty; for throwing me down into the fiery chasm of the Dark Lord's eyes. Yes. Thank you Lucius.