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Note: Well, this chapter required some thinking. It's a bit clichè, if I may say so myself. Still, I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for the encouraging reviews.

'Lily.'

He greeted her quietly. Snape was completely still, even as he sat on the Hogwart's entrance stairs clothed in nothing but worn robes and a thin cloak which offered nearly no protection against the mounting blizzard. Specks of snow were dancing with the swirling wind, making his voice hardly audible above the violent howling.

'What's wrong Severus? You've been avoiding me for nearly two weeks!'

Lily exclaimed with a frown of concern, shivering as she gathered her cloak around her.

'I needed to think.'

'I've been really worried. Since the ball...'

The Slytherin stared at her as her voice died uncertainly, his face completely devoid of emotion. Tears begun to glisten in the girl's eyes mixed with a tinge of fear as she watched her friend's cold countenance.

'I have decided it would be better i-if- ' he faltered for a moment. His lower lip trembled slightly before he bit it down decisively and continued. ' If we stopped seeing each other.'

It had been so hard... not to give in to his true desire. As he had seen her green emeralds glowing brightly with emotion, he had longed to wipe away every tear from her fair face with tender fingers, like collecting liquid diamonds. He wished it still, he realized, to caress her milky cheek once more, to feel her cherry lips and lustrous fiery mane. To embrace her for a last time. But it was much too late.

'You can't mean that.'

Lily whispered shakily. Her knuckles white as her grip on her cloak tightened, bunching the cloth between her fingers nervously.

'It's for the best.'

And it had been for the best. He had seen how they had laughed at her at the Ball, how she had shrieked as the bats entangled themselves in her hair and robes. It was not fair, he had decided after some serious deliberation, that she should suffer on his account. She would be fine without him anyway, after all, she had some other good friends in her own house. And nobody, least of all Lily, could need the friendship of a ridiculed, lonely Slytherin.

'How can you say that? We're friends.'

'You have other friends.'

He responded, his gaze settled on the floor between her feet. The Gryffindor took a step forward.

'But none like you.'

Perhaps. Snape breathed heavily through his nose as he fought to contain the tears. He had made so many mistakes- who could say that he might not have erred then.

She breathed softly. Her green eyes sad, swimming with tears.

'Lily- don't- . Forget me.'

'No! You can't simply decide to throw our friendship down the drain!'

He had done it though; thrown their friendship into a dark, hidden corner of himself and attempted to forget about it. But it had scraped greatly as he pushed it down, creating a profound wound in his heart. He had thought it healed, as the years passed, but it had only scarred lightly and was now bleeding profusely once more.

She cried angrily, grabbing his jaw gently and pulling his face to meet hers. His eyes hardened and he tore from her grasp violently.

'Look. You might be able to relinquish some of your glorious popularity but I cannot afford to lose the small amount of people who deign to speak to me, Evans.'

It had pained him to tell her that, to speak to her in such a way. And it was so far from the truth, for he would have given up the world for her- his only true friend.

He replied harshly, and reaching inside his robes took out the pendant she had given him as a Christmas present. It was of diamond shape, sparkling with a red light as the blood swam between the crystal walls. He extended his hand for her to take it. Lily took a step backwards, tears running down her face unrestrained now.

'Severus. Please, tell me this is not true.'

She pleaded sadly, hand outstretched as though longing for him to take it. Snape took the opportunity to slip the pendant to her, nestling it in her palm.

'I-it is. Now leave Lily.

'You- you Slytherin! As soon as I begin to be an inconvenience you just do this-'

Her voice broke and a sob escaped her as she cast the pendant at his feet, where it shattered. She turned on her heel and ran from him, weeping loudly.

The last day they had spoken as friends.

'Reparo.' Snape hissed. The crystal pieces lighted up and shook for a second before rushing to unite themselves, now smeared with blood on the inside. He pocketed it quietly then rose to his feet and strided through the Hogwarts grounds to the forest. As he entered the canopy of looming dark trees a moan escaped him and after a few more steps he collapsed.

Severus began weeping, his breathing ragged as desperate sobs shook him, tears running down his face as he moaned, his face pressed against the dirt.

'S-sorry...so...sor-rry, Lily.'

He had returned to the castle hours later, while everyone had been having dinner at the Great Hall. Severus sighed, perhaps his heart had begun to freeze then, after remaining outside as it snowed for such a long while. His tears had started to congeal, his heart to form a protective shell around him. But it was melting now, the sheet of ice around his organ dripping away as the fire of love and friendship rekindled in him again upon these renewed memories.

SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsS

Fifteen-year old Snape swayed in his spot; clutching his head protectively, eyes squeezed tight against the pain as a drop of sweat glistened on his pale forehead. Sibilius lifted the spell.

'What are you doing?'

The man snarled angrily, though he looked unnerved. His eyes betraying the fear and uncertainty, drenched in the mad hatred that burned constantly within him.

'Occlumency.'

Severus sneered triumphantly.

Yes, no matter what he had endured afterwards, it had been worth it. To see the fear reflected in his father's eyes instead of being subject to it himself.

The man stepped forward and grabbing the boy by the neck, shook him forcefully and pinned him against the wall. Snape gagged and struggled weakly against his father's powerful hold before the man threw him, nearly missing the shelf of poisons, where the vials were trembling slightly as though moved by an invisible force.

'Stop it, you filthy slime ball. Legilemens.'

The Slytherin's face contorted with pain, his fingers dug into his aching skull. Sibilius released him from the spell once more and advanced towards the smaller figure. His fist knocked against the child's jaw hard.

'You can't oppose me!'

He shouted harshly, kicking him in the ribs. Snape inhaled with difficulty then laughed, his mouth twisted in a mirthless smile.

'Think again.'

Severus said softly before laughing again, even as blood began to flow freely down his face from his broken nose.

'Are you laughing at me? Crucio!'

Snape shrieked as the curse hit him. His elbows, that had been supporting his prone figure, collapsed under him. The poisons behind exploded in a storm of colored liquids and shards of glass.

He had been so full of a reckless rage then, pushed to the limit as his body joined his mind in agony. He had, without realizing it, performed wandless magic. The Ministry had sent a small warning letter later on, which had, of course, earned him another beating. It had been a disastrous summer. But his father had not attempted Legilemancy with him again. It had been a small conquer, but to him it was a victory he savored even now.

Sibilius roared in pain as little pieces embedded themselves in his skin. The scream died abruptly in the child's throat as the spell was lifted, but another cry was brought to his lips as he received a few forceful kicks from his father. In a few minutes, Sibilius left the room, blood trickling slightly down his own face and body where the crystal had cut him.

Snape slumped against the shelf pathetically as he panted for breath, robes soaked with poisons and blood and showered with the shattered vials.

'I still won Father. I am stronger than you, at least in mind.'

He rasped, voice hoarse. A smirk of satisfaction appeared in his face, even as a small trickle of blood ran from his mouth and nose, bruises blossoming painfully all over. He tilted his head back, though the smirk had died to be replaced by a cold expression, and rested it carefully on the wood. The memory hurried by to be replaced by another as blood dripped into the child's hair and he lost consciousness.

SsSsSsSsSsSsS

The sun shone brightly in the azure sky as it slowly began it's descent into the mountains. Casting golden beams into the sparkling lake and making the leaves glow with colors as they danced silently to the forest floor. Snape walked down the grounds towards the Quidditch pitch, shoulders stooped and head bowed. He could hear Antonin Dolohov, the Slytherin Quidditch team captain calling out names from a list, and arrived just in time to hear his own. There weren't all that many candidates for the Seeker position since Bellatrix Black had taken her NEWTs and left Hogwarts the year before.

Bellatrix had been quite a good Seeker, although she had been growing increasingly more aggressive as James Potter began catching up with her in skills. Now she hardly bothered with Quidditch, as she had found other more appealing interests.

After about half-a-dozen students Severus stepped forward, someone handed him a broom.

He was about to mount it when the broom gave a shudder and lashed out, the fifteen-year old froze and stared at the broom with a frown. He tried to get on it once more when it began bucking, a girl let out a snort and began laughing. A few of the younger Slytherins guffawed loudly. Suddenly the broom gave a bolt, unbalancing Severus and sending him to the floor, then with a whiney it pranced around for a minute before speeding off towards the forest.

'Oh, Snape, you are absolutely hilarious.'

Fredericka Travilla laughed annoyingly, as she swept up on another broom for her own try and Snape stood up.

A year above him, that girl had been a complete idiot, not a trace of brains in her except for dimwitted criticism. She had laughed at him too, Snape recalled, when they had shared a couch in their common room one night. And scowled and done her preferred loud criticism the next day when she was sober enough to remember the encounter. Not that she'd had much to boast of, Severus thought with a smirk.

'Someone tricked the broomstick.' Dolohov grumbled with a scowl, his eyes narrowed as he spotted a tuft of unruly black hair. Severus followed his eyes, his teeth baring as he discovered James Potter hiding behind one of the stands. He came out with a proud stance and grinning widely.

'Why hello Snape.'

Damn the filthy Gryffindor Seeker. After that incident he had not given Quidditch another try, not that he'd ever cared much for it anyway.

He greeted, with a mock bow to the assembled Slytherins.

'How'd you get into our broom shed Potter?'

The Slytherin captain asked with a snarl. James just smiled all the more widely.

'Just a little bit of magic over here, stealth and brains over there.'

Potter had at least received a couple of night's detentions for sneaking in and manipulating one of the brooms.

'Furnunculus!'

Snape shouted finally, a jet of light issued from his wand and hit the Gryffindor at unawares in the stomach. James doubled over as boils began erupting all over his face and hands.

'Petrificus Totalus!'

Potter bellowed, a boil near his lip exploding as he opened his mouth.

'Protego.'

Severus hissed and the spell reflected, avoiding hitting James only as he ducked rapidly. He was about to raise his wand once more when a giant hand was placed on the Slytherin's shoulder.

'Wha's going on 'ere? Break it up you two.'

Hagrid pacified loudly, looking puzzled as Snape wiggled from under his grasp. He cast a look at James, his beard twitching.

'Ye better go to the 'ospital Wing James. And you, 'Everus isn't it, yer comin' with me.'

Snape glared at him. The other Slytherins raised their eyebrows, a fellow looking apprehensive, some simply curious. Hagrid turned around and began trudging down to his hut, Severus followed him hesitantly, still scowling. As they reached the wooden house Rubeous waved a hand for the boy to come in.

'Sit down boy, I'm not gonna eat ya.'

He chuckled as he busied himself with tea, and poured two big mugs of boiling water before adding the tea bags. Snape sat down finally, eyeing the half-giant suspiciously.

'I saw wha' happened over there, 'ere from me hut. Tha' wasn't very nice o' James.'

He said quietly, beetle eyes crinkled in a friendly way as he surveyed the greasy-haired boy. Severus stared at him, then lowered his eyes, then looked up at him again and nodded.

'No, it wasn't.' he acknowledged quietly.

'Yeh want some fruitcake?'

'Alright, thank you.'

The tight lines around Severus' mouth smoothed slightly as he remembered how he had discovered afterwards that fruitcake was one of the few edible things Hagrid ever provided, along with remarkable doughy donuts.

Snape responded awkwardly, taking a sip of his tea.

'So how ye doin' with classes? Got yer OWLs this year, don't ye?'

They talked for a while, though it was obvious by the boy's guarded demeanor that he was still slightly suspicious and wary of the Gamekeeper. The sun was setting when the Slytherin departed.

'I liked talkin' with yeh, Severus. Come down to me hut for tea once in a while, will yeh?'

Hagrid said as he held the door open for the boy. Severus nodded and smiled slightly.

'Well, yes, I will. Thank you Hagrid.'

Yes, Hagrid had been fair and actually quite nice to him. And he had indeed, since that day, gone down to his hut every once in a while to talk with the half-giant.

SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs

'Hey Snape! Wake up!'

Severus' eyelids fluttered slightly before he groaned and rolled to a side, hair flopping over his face. Mcnair prodded him again while Rosiers watched from the other side with a smirk. The sleeping boy finally opened his eyes, blinked several times and raised himself up on an elbow whilst glaring at the other Slytherin.

'What kind of rude awakening is this?'

He drawled. Shaking his head to remove the hair from his face.

'It's Christmas you idiot. You're usually awake by dawn anyway.'

Rosiers answered clambering onto Snape's bed as he unwrapped a large present.

'I couldn't sleep last night.'

The rough beginnings of the insomnia that had been purging him for years. Though he had learned to contend with it by now. Snape frowned slightly, he could not recall that last time he had slept, it seemed so long and yet it could not be more than a day or two...

He excused himself. Avery smirked as Evan's pack of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans slipped from his grasp and tumbled open in a multicolored sea.

'Ah, really Evan. Look at my bed.'

Snape complained as he disentangled himself from the sheets and slid to the floor next to his small pile of presents. There were a couple of books from his Slytherin acquaintances, a box of chocolate frogs from Hagrid and a very small package with no card. He inspected it closely. It was hardly the size of a his hand, a simple box wrapped in white paper. While Mcnair and Rosier were fishing for beans, he unwrapped it carefully and opened the small box. A silver Slytherin serpent with emerald eyes glared at him in between white cotton. Snape swallowed, his breathing quickening as he stared at the present and saw a small red bean inside.

He'd never eaten the bean but had kept it carefully guarded. He had lost it a few years ago though- as he had lost himself too. Although he had sent the present back that very afternoon, along with a gift of his own. A golden Gryffindor lion with ruby eyes, accompanied by a greenish black bean. He had also charmed the Slytherin serpent she had sent him to appear as though it were bleeding, the lion's claws piercing through the flesh. It was the last year they had interchanged Christmas presents.

'Lily.'

He whispered softly.

'Severus why're you crying?'

Avery asked with a slightly disgusted air when he noticed a few tears that had strayed down the boy's face. Snape took a deep breath and closing the lid deposited the present in one of his bedside drawers.

'It's the beans, I'm allergic to them.'

He lied sneering. Evan didn't seem to know whether he was joking or not and simply eyed him with a slight frown.

'So did you like my present Evan? Avery?'

Severus asked, subtly changing the subject.

SsSsSsSsSsSsSs

'All right, Snivellus?'

Snape whirled around as he heard James' voice calling loudly. He dropped his bag and had his wand halfway into the air when it flew from his hand and landed with a soft noise in the grass behind him. He was diving for his wand when Black's spell hit him, knocking him off his feet. He lay panting on the ground, fighting against the invisible force tying him down.

Oh, yes. A true Gryffindor, never brave enough to fight on his own.

'How'd the exam go, Snivelly?'

James asked mockingly.

'I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word.'

Sirius responded viciously, earning a couple of laughs from the crowd that had begun edging forward to watch the encounter.

'You- wait.' the Slytherin panted, glaring at Potter with hatred, ' you- wait!'

'Wait for what? What're you doing to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?'

Snape let out a stream of curses and swear words at Black's cold words, before James' pink soap bubbles rendered him speechless, nearly choking him.

'Leave him ALONE!'

She had not been able to resist it seemed, after their years of friendship to see him attacked in such a way. Fortunately, most had simply thought the girl had too good a heart to bear someone being treated like that. Of course, no one could imagine Lily would ever befriend that slimy, greasy git of Snape. And perhaps it would have been better, easier, if they had been right.

Lily shouted finally, having left the lake's edge. Severus began inching towards his falling wand, spitting out the soap suds as he crawled while the two Gryffindors argued.

'OI!'

Sirius alerted suddenly, but too late. Snape pointed his wand at James and slashed it across the air, with a jet of light a large gash appeared on the boy's face, spattering his robes with blood.

Really quite a pitiful spell compared to the ones he was accustomed to using now. He could think of so many different curses to use on Potter.

A moment later Snape was hanging upside down in the air. Many of the people watching cheered as the Marauders roared with laughter.

'Let him down.'

Lily ordered, James complied bringing the Slytherin down in a crumpled heap as he fell. He disentangled himself from his robes, wand poised, then keeled over as Sirius cast a petrification spell on him.

'LEAVE HIM ALONE!'

The green-eyed girl repeated angrily, taking her wand out. James sighed and muttered the counter curse after a short dialogue with Lily. Snape struggled to his feet.

'There you go,' James said, 'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-'

'I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!'

It was the only way. She would suffer less if she hated him anyway, wouldn't she? The perfect couple, James and Lily, united by a common enemy.

Snape spat nastily. Lily blinked in surprise.

'Fine. I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.'

Oh Lily... Snape sighed.

She said coldly while Severus glared at her. Snape straightened up, arranging his robes around him as Lily and James argued, his wand ready to attack. Potter turned back as the girl left, looking furious, and before Snape could act he was once more hanging upside down in the air.

'Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?'

James announced loudly, walking forward and eyeing Snape's clothes as though analyzing a dissected animal.

'You won't live to see the next sun rise if you do that Potter.'

Severus threatened quietly through the robes covering his face. The Gryffindor laughed and pulled the pant's waistband, letting it fall again with a snap. The students around clapped and laughed happily.

Severus gulped, feeling nauseous. He owed a Life Debt to that bastard. He owed his miserable, worthless life to one of the men he hated most. Yet another cruel twist of Fate as She turns the corkscrews, piercing your skin and stretching until you break if you are unlucky enough to be one of her favorite victims.

'Damn. Prongs, Mcgonagall's coming!'

Sirius shouted hurriedly suddenly, as, indeed, the Transfiguration professor strided towards them with an angry frown.

'Lucky Snivelly.'

James whispered and jerking his wand up made Snape crumble to the floor once more. The other students left quickly, leaving Severus alone entangled in robes.

'Mr. Snape, what has been going on here? Are you quite alright?'

The Animagus asked upon reaching him, frowning slightly above her glasses. Snape pulled himself to his feet and glared at her angrily.

'Nothing. Nothing at all. I'm fine.'

He snarled at her and lunging for his wand and bag ran off to the castle, hearing Mcgonagall snapping 'Five points from Slytherin for your disrespect.' as he left.

He had lost five points. He had lost five points when he had only been attacked by those filthy Marauders. Severus snarled at the unfairness and the terrible embarrassment. Rage bubbling in him like a bubbling potion.

Snape banged into the dungeons, hitting himself against the walls as he cursed under his breath, eyes burning with hatred. He threw his things on the floor and banged his fist into the wall.

'Freaking bastards. Stupid. Filthy Gryffindors.'

He spat, his face contorted with rage as he hit the wall. He whirled around at a soft sound to discover his pillow had exploded, in a rain of feathers. Severus' snarled and collapsed on his bed.

'What have I done to them? Idiotic, brainless, dirty...'

He muttered, panting for breath as his head throbbed painfully. He let out a choked sob and glared at the wall, fighting back the tears. He closed his eyes tightly but still a few escaped, making a watery trail down his face, still white with rage and embarrassment.