Day 61

All day in library today. I have NEWTS to up to my eyeballs. We have the mock exams now. Oh I never knew I could be so boring. Tomasin passed me a lot of notes though while we were there so that passed the time. If I see another book I think I will hit someone.

Day 62

I was dreaming about books all last night. In fact… I think at one point I had turned into a book myself. Marietta had to carry me around in her school bag and then Harry was there…he said he wanted to read me…but then he got cross and he turned me into a tea cosy. Weird.

Studying. I don't know how I'm going to fit Quidditch practice in anymore.

Day 63

Library again. Marietta, Charlotte and I were trying to test ourselves on Divination but then we started trying to see what our future husbands would look like. Then we got told off for talking so we buried our heads back into the books.

I did happen to notice that Harry was there with Hermione and Ron. They were dawdling by the restricted library section. He turned and mouthed hello to me. I smiled back. Marietta caught my smile and followed it back to Harry.

She started furiously scribbling in her rough book. I couldn't tell how she was feeling…probably quite anger. Yes..her pen was pressed so hard to the paper. Then she passed it to me with her pen stuck in her mouth, chewing hard the end and staring at me. I took the piece of paper and here's what she said.

It was quite messy and a bit of a jumble.

Cho…

What are you doing?

I don't really know how I feel at this moment because when it concerns Harry Potter… my mind goes blank sometimes. I don't remember things… but I know I don't like him.

I do remember how long I had to wear a balaclava for!! I do remember people making fun of me and saying I looked like a burglar…and whispering 'she really looks like a sneak'

It's not like I didn't care about betraying the DA…I am……really ashamed I almost got all those people expelled…even you and Michael… but I had to make a choice between my family or my friends. I know you don't hold it against me and I am so grateful for it…I just couldn't give my mum and dad another reason to hate me. I don't know why I keep trying to please them…

I know you are my best friend and you were there at the end for me…but I …I'm annoyed…..really annoyed and really hurt…I don't know what to say anymore…

Marietta.

I figured someone must have put a charm on her so she couldn't give away things we had been doing in the DA. I think it was better for her in the end. She used to ask what we did when her mind went hazy but I edged around the questions …I think she knows it but I think she prefers not to know anymore…ignorance really is bliss.

This is what I wrote back to her.

Marietta….

I'm sorry I didn't tell you…and I'm really sorry but what happened with Harry…was unfinished. He was angry. I was angry. We couldn't even have a proper conversation because we'd end up fighting. So how did it end? It ended with me in anger walking off alone. There was no goodbye.

I had to finish it or at least put some closure on what happened between us.

I didn't know how to finish this the letter to be honest. My thoughts were running on the page... Harry and I hadn't had that 'relationship' conversation yet. We just sort of picked something up and waited to see what was next. I went back to the paper.

We talked. And we are friends now. Please don't make choose between you two. Remember I told you... Sometimes you can't help your feelings like you and Michael? Well that's a bit like me and Harry. I still really like him…only now he doesn't feel the same… but it doesn't matter to me I still want to be his friend. I think he needs one.

Marietta…I don't know what to do…

Friends?

Cho

xxx

God this was confusing. I just pushed the letter in her hands. She looked at me and then scribbled something else.

Ooooooooooooooooook…look if I'm going to be mature about this…and I supposed I should…my quarrel is with Harry. It is not with you. I won't pretend I'm happy that you have …whatever you're having with him.

I can't support it. He's not the best guy for you…I don't think I need to tell you I think he treated you badly. Very badly. I can't be nice or civil to him…

But…you are my best friend. I would be so lost without you...so I guess …even though I hate him….(a little less than that Hermione Granger)… He could do with having a friend like you. Who knows it might improve him.

Friends for life!

Marietta

xxx

I read her note and just hugged her. I kept the notes in my bag and was so grateful she wasn't going to complicate things.

Day 64

This time Harry caught me on my way to the library. Now the romantic side of me had day dreamed that all our meetings were fate but then it occurred to me that perhaps he was finding me with his enchanted map he had… he used it in DA meetings to help us get out of the room of requirement safely…you know just in case of lurking teachers or worse… Umbridge.

He ran along side me, "Did I get you into trouble with the sneak?"

"Don't call her that…and hello…and no…" I said opening a door that lead to another corridor.

He put his hands in his pockets "Really? I was watching her in the library and she looked like she was about to start a fire …the speed of her writing."

I stopped in my steps. The whole subject of Marietta was really dangerous ground. How could I pass a comment without being…unfair to either party , "Well she doesn't really like you and there are many good, valid reasons why she feels the way she does." I said.

"Well that's debateable," he said sarcastically.

"But…she's fine with it." I didn't want to fight an old argument.

"Why?" said Harry looking quite puzzled.

"Because…. I'm her friend. You are my friend. So…we have a rule.. Any friend of mine is a friend of hers." I just made that bit up but I think I would have said anything…if there was a chance they might be stand in the same room one day perhaps even have a civil conversation together but I think I'm hoping for way too much1

"But you said she doesn't like me."

"Stop making things complicated Harry. Accept this as fact and you can continue to talk nonsense to me!" I said trying to put some books in my bag. I started making my way up the stairs. Harry was following and holding onto the banister quite tightly as the stairs moved.

"I don't need Marietta's permission to talk to you." He said looking over the crowd and then eyebrows did a weird wiggle when he turned back to me "Hey, stop being a boff and hang out a bit"

"What happened to Ron and Hermione?" I said. The offer was tempting.

"They…well…you know that place we went for the Valentines date?"

I …oh.yeah…Madame Puddifoot's….did I really want to be reminded? Incidentally, that was the first time he'd mentioned anything about our romantic past.

"Yes I do." I said. The stairs fixed to their new position. I got off and continued down the next hall. Harry followed.

"Well…they like to go there …A LOT."

"I'm sorry to have to leave you in the lurch but library and books call me to sit down and study. I have NEWTS you know." I said waving the book in the air. He snatched it from me.

"Come on….for once forget you're in Ravenclaw! Be Gryffindor…bold, daring and brave." Then he took off his tie and gave it to me. I was staring at it blankly.

"I'm making you an honorary Gryffindor which means it's not in your nature to go to the library!"

I grinned at him but he'd get points off for that if a teacher caught him with no tie on so I gave it back to him.

"You still believe in all that sorting hat nonsense?" I said moving out of the way so some second years could get past.

"What do think was put on your head when you first came to Hogwarts?" he said laughing

"Well it's 1000 year old gimmick which is fun for first years" I said as a matter of factly.

He looked like I'd told him Santa Claus didn't exist anymore and I continued, "It's a bit like horoscopes. You take it with a pinch of salt. I mean I don't think I'm always clever…I don't think you're always bold…I don't think all the Slytherins are evil. The hat is just a toy...You should know that.. it is not the house you are in that determines what kind of person you are …. It's the choices we make…"

He raised an eyebrow like he knew something I didn't. He always does that.

"The family house stuff is nice but it's unfair that one house is supposed make everyone in the same house become …I dunno…one mind. You see Harry. The difference between you and me is that I don't tarnish people with the same brush. In my eyes everyone is individual" I said rather snootily.

"Yeah I noticed that." He said, "You're such a Ravenclaw!"

I smiled at him again and then I just left him there and went to the library. He wouldn't be offended well he shouldn't. He's got Hermione Granger as a friend and I bet she's more studious than me. Besides I had a lot of work to do.

Day 66

Can't write much. Mock exams still going on.

Day ….I lost count…..why didn't I keep a date system?

November 25th (much better)

Mock exams are over. I weep happy tears of joy. I can relax just a little bit.

I had Quidditch Practice today. Good Good.. I needed a new uniform…. apparently all uniforms are being revamped to match the style the England team have adopted. They have really cool goggles and nicer glove mitts.

It says on the board we're playing Gryffindor on the 1st December.

Oh Harry will love that.

November 26th

He laughed in my face and wished me a lot of luck because apparently I was going to need it. I told him to stop being an idiot.

"You remind me of Malfoy on a bad day" I said.

That shut him up.

Heh.

Will be busy practising all week.

November 30th

Padma chopped off her hair! It used to be really long but she chopped it off! She says she's in her teenage rebellion phase or something and she does not like to look like Parvati anymore. And she requested that people refer to her as Padma and not lump her together with Parvati like they are one person. Fair enough.

Went to Hogsmeade with the girls and had a drink of butter beer. Yum!

December 1st

This was perhaps the worst day to be playing against Harry. First of all it was raining! (hmm reminds me of our first match) then…ugh………….. I don't know why but of all the days he chose….he had to pick today.

.I was getting my broom out and walking down the pitch so I could carry out my good luck ritual of picking some grass off the pitch before the match…you know the pro Quidditch players all do it.

So there I was picking the grass and Harry was running up the pitch saying we had to talk about something. I started joking that intimidation is against the rules and then he just said 'Cedric'.I had to stop for a moment. Maybe he said it a few times after that. I wasn't sure. My mind was a blur.

Did he just say what I think he did?

"Don't you want to ask me questions about what happened?" He said leaning on his broom. I didn't know what to say. Yes… how about a year ago when I wanted to know. I didn't know if I was angry or sad…or happy. All I could do was look at him strangely.

"What are you doing?" I said. I think it was at this point I wanted him to leave me alone.

"Cho it's been bothering me…."

"Harry it bothered me a year ago…I…why are you.."

It was like picking at a scab… opening up the wounds that had already healed and forcing it to bleed again. Why Why Why?

He was walking around me trying to get me to look at him. "Don't you want to talk about it? How it happened? How he was?"

"Harry …" I said trying to avoid his gaze.

"I just want you know that you can ask me."

I wanted to slap him. I thought I was over Cedric but I felt I was going to cry.

"Cho…I.."

"I don't want to talk to you now." I said running off to the changing rooms.

He put me off my game.

Gryffindor won.

Ravenclaw lost.