Disclaimer: As always...

Note: Sorry for the long delay, but inspiration has been low and then the excitement of the HPB kept me from any coherent thought(!). Anyways, take in account that apart from the first two memories the other separated by ssssssSsssss are on the same day. Well, thanks for all the kind reviews! Enjoy your reading!

Snape grasped the silver serpent and knocked sharply, the metal thudding rather noisily against the wooden door. He stepped back, the cool summer breeze billowing his robes slightly as he cast an anxious glance around him, head snapping back to the door as it slid open silently. He stared at the empty air before him, getting a glimpse of a darkened, elegant drawing room before a squeaky, high voice called his attention and his eyes roving downwards came to settle on a house-elf.

'Master says Mr. Snape be coming tonight. Dobby leads young sir to Master.'

The small being stated, enormous green orbs gazing at him curiously as he held the door open. Severus stepped in and raised an eyebrow; seemingly impressed with the obvious luxury. Golden chandeliers with crystal candles, two velvet couches embroidered with silk, a wooden table of excellent quality, an elaborate rug and numerous tapestries constituted the entrance room. He heard the door click shut behind him.

'Sir please follows Dobby.'

The creature said shrilly and bounced through a heavy door, he followed it down a gloomy hallway of extraordinary proportions and finally into another large room. Lucius Malfoy stood by the fireplace, which was extinguished, perusing a letter he held in his hands. He glanced up, iron eyes narrowing slightly (whether in pleasure or malice was impossible to know) and smiling vanished the parchment and advanced towards him.

'Severus, I'm glad you could come.'

It had been the summer between his sixth and seventh years when he began corresponding with Lucius Malfoy, they never put in anything compromising of course, but some vague remarks about "the new power rising" had been mentioned. Until finally, after a few weeks Malfoy had invited him to his manor, he had apparated after slipping a simple Sleeping Draught in his father's drink. Not that would have noticed he was gone, but he had been quite keen to avoid any more confrontations with his father.

Snape nodded tersely, he looked somewhat nervous, though determined all the same. Lucius smiled, and beckoned him towards two handsome chairs, they sat around a small table with a pair of silver snakes supporting it's crystal surface. There were already two sparkling glasses waiting for them and a bottle of red wine. Malfoy's eyes were set on Snape, his lips still curved into a slightly twisted smile. Severus was looking around the room, black orbs darting around until they finally came to rest on Lucius, his expression quite neutral.

'Some wine, my friend?'

A dagger wrapped in silver silk. He did think, however, that Lucius had come to regard him with some affection over the years. Although, of course, what friendship had ever begun with the recruiting of more servants for an evil lord, or progressed through murders and poisons?

Lucius offered pleasantly, already pouring the sweet-smelling liquid into their cups. As he set the bottle down, Snape reached out a hand to take a sip of his drink.

'How have you been?'

Malfoy asked after taking a sip himself. Severus shrugged slightly.

'As well as always. What will a prisoner tell about the same walls he has inhabited ceaselessly for years? Perhaps different rats scurrying around him- but rats all the same, or a subtle change in the scent of the meals or a new trickle of water as more rock crumbles away but never enough to release him from his cell.'

Lucius raised a finely penciled eyebrow and leant forward. Softly he parted Snape's hair away from his face, fine fingers barely touching the skin. Severus remained very still, though his hands were trembling. The tip of Malfoy's fingers traced down his jaw, over a discoloring bruise before grazing the thin lips. He drew away, his stormy gray eyes glinting strangely.

The bruise on his face had been the result of a vicious fight with his father. And though he had fought back, he was (as his father so tactlessly put it) nothing but a slimy weakling. But he had managed to give the man a good few punches too.Lucius took pleasure in any kind of pain, especially proportioning it himself- like Bellatrix, although he was infinitely more discrete and knew how to guard his appearances much better than the witch. Severus thought back suddenly at the recently remembered memory of Lucius' own graduation party in their Common Room and how the blond-haired had regarded him as he stiffened at the touch. That look of almost sick pleasure that had crossed his face...

'Severus, you know I would do anything in my power to help you, you need but ask me.'

'Thank you Lucius. I will keep it in mind.'

Smiling faintly Malfoy leaned back once more.

'Sometimes the solution to our problems is right before us...'

'There is no solution for the past. And I need only endure a few more weeks.'

'Then what? Will you run away and let him escape without avenging yourself, Severus?' Lucius asked softly,' Surely not.'

'There is nothing I can do.'

Snape responded coldly, hands curling into fists.

'On your own.' Malfoy whispered, licking his lips, 'But there might be a person who can help you, Severus. And I am sure you shall like him...You may have already have heard of him...'

Indeed, who had not heard of the Dark Lord by then, when he was rising rapidly amongst the wizarding community. He had been distinctly appealed by the idea; not only did it offer the revenge he craved, but power and respect.

SsSsSsSsSsSs

'The Dark Lord was very pleased with your potions Severus.'

Lucius Malfoy whispered quietly in the young man's ear as he approached silently from behind, startling Snape who started slightly. He took a seat across him and waved his hand,

'Dobby.'

With a loud crack the house-elf appeared, his hands clumsily bandaged.

'Yes, sirs. What may you be wanting?'

'Some whisky, perhaps...' he cast a glance at Snape who nodded indifferently.

Suddenly a young woman entered the room. She was dressed in velvet robes of blood red, her shiny, blonde hair cascading over her shoulder like a fountain of gold. She strode towards them, though her nose wrinkled as she caught sight of Snape.

'Narcissa dear, do you care to sit with us?'

'Madam.'

Severus greeted her, standing up and giving her a stiff bow. She surveyed him arrogantly, her eyebrows raised. Light blue eyes swerved back to her husband.

'No Lucius. I just came to get something.'

She replied coldly, and indeed after selecting a leather bound book from a shelf she left without a backwards glance. Snape stared after her, an eyebrow raised, though no emotion was discernible in his face.

He knew Narcissa had not particularly liked him at first, since she knew of his spoiled blood line and considered the purity of blood as an object of utmost importance. He remembered her vaguely from his first year at Hogwarts, an attractive seventh year who had been already immersed in a steady relationship with Lucius Malfoy. She had never paid him any attention, but at the times they had happened to share in the Common Room he had frequently overheard her complaining about her traitorous cousin Sirius Black and the abundance of Mudbloods polluting the castle with Lucius nodding arrogantly in approval and agreement of her words. The pair had been regarded by everyone with a mixture of awe, envy and hatred (in the case of the other houses).

I marvel how you manage to produce such excellent potions and yet get through all your seventh year work.'

Lucius remarked as the door closed behind the woman, he was smirking slightly and there was a spark of amusement in his eyes before he returned to look at Severus.

'The potions requested are not too complicated.'

Snape responded with a faint sneer, 'Nor the lessons.' He added, appearing somewhat pleased at the praise. He took a swig of the alcohol and grimaced as he swallowed, pushing the goblet back on the table. Lucius let out a small laugh.

'Not one for strong tastes?'

'It tastes worse than a Blood-Replenishing potion.'

Unfortunately, he had been forced to endure the unpleasant concoction more than once. His nose wrinkled in renewed disgust, as though he were swallowing it once more. Remembering how his father had nearly choked him on the vile liquid after a distinctly violent beating when he was thirteen, after Sibilius had finally noticed the pooling of blood under him and his immobility and hurried to avoid his death.

He said in disgust. Malfoy smirked and fell silent, a strange, calculating look on his face.

'Severus, you came here for something, did you not?'

Snape licked his lips quickly and sat up straighter, his eyes growing colder and more determined.

'I wish to take the Dark Mark.'

Snape averted his face, even though his eyes were closed, in shame. For he regretted his decision of joining the Death Eaters...had he not done it he would have probably finished his young life bleeding to death on some street or with a flash of green light pressed to his temple by his own hand. Not a very elegant or dignified end, but certainly preferable to what he had transformed in. It would have avoided those thoughtless murders he had committed, and these long years of fruitless redemption that were sure to follow. Unless, and he was ashamed to know that he somehow hoped, that the Dark Lord would discover his treachery and kill him. End his miserable existence, but when had he ever been favored by Life? And he did not deserve it anyway, he had in his hands the power to help the Light, struggle to atone at least some of his deeds and he could not waste it.

Lucius grinned.

'I thought so. Fantastic Severus, I am glad you have finally decided to enter the fold.'

Severus nodded, half a smile on his face.

'I am sure it will be agreeable with the Master.'

'W-when shall it be done?'

'No need to be nervous Severus. It is the best decision you could ever have taken. As to the date, well it will have to be after you leave school naturally... you still have to sit your NEWTs.'

'Could it be on my Graduation?'

Snape asked abruptly, his eyes glinting.

The thought had been especially enticing then. The perfect closure for something which had been both sweet (for he had enjoyed his classes) and bitter, for he had hated and been reciprocated in the feeling by many. Locking a door and crossing through the archway into what promised to be an utopic existence. Which had, of course, turned out be but a lie.

'Why yes. What a great idea, doubly special.'

Lucius smiled and raised his goblet, motioning for Snape to do the same.

'To you, Severus Snape, soon one of the Death Eaters.'

He pronounced and with a small tinkle their goblets touched and both downed the contents. Severus grimacing and Lucius grinning.

SSsSsSsSsSsSsS

Patches of bleary sunlight filtered through the canopy of light gray clouds, unseasonable in the early summer. The grass blades tinged with pale yellow were cast into shadow as the seventh-years trudged down the grounds towards the lake, where they would be taking the graduating photo. An old wizard with dusty, slightly shabby robes holding a large camera was engaged in conversation with Professor Mcgonagall who had two red spots on her cheeks and seemed strangely flustered.

'What's up with you Snape?'

Rosier asked with a raised eyebrow as he watched the other boy, who was wearing a lopsided smirk.

'Nothing, why?'

He responded, pushing his hair out of his face and frowning slightly.

'You were..smirking...'

He explained hesitantly, looking confused. Finally Evan waved it off with a shake of his head and a hand in the air gesturing fruitlessly.

He wasn't surprised that his attitude had startled Evan, for he was known to rarely walk around smiling in that way. But he had been lost in thought about that same night, he remembered the spark of excitement and anticipation that had burnt in him at the possibilities that were materializing before him. Snape struggled to contain a bitter laugh, but they had not finished solidifying and had revealed their true condition of illusions.

'Gryffindor House, please line up.'

Mcgongall called authoritively over the babble, and obediently the students wove their way out of the throng and filed up. Severus watched as Sirius Black smiled seductively before James Potter punched him in the arm and Lily glared at them, though her lips were twitching while Lupin laughed at the scene and Pettigrew fidgeted nervously in his seat.

Filthy, immature imbeciles. And Lily...She had not glanced at him since that fifth year incident, which, he had been forced to remind himself ceaselessly over the years, was what he had been trying to achieve. But it had hurt, and it still pained him, as though he had barbed wire tangled in his heart. It was incredible, he thought, that he should still harbor these painful feelings. He had been struggling to contain them for years, but the emotions were still there: the pain, the grief which he only knew how to bear striking against it with anger and hatred.

Suddenly the camera emitted a puff of purple smoke which enveloped the elderly wizard and left him covered in a mantle of what appeared to be lilac glitter, making the students around him laugh as he waved it off.. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs followed and afterwards dispersed around the grounds, enjoying their last days at Hogwarts.

'Slytherins.'

Giftiger summoned his House, Severus followed Mcnair and stepped onto the wooden, rickety benches.

'I dare you to smile for the photo, Severus!'

Avery laughed beside him. Snape gave him a horribly forced smile with a raised eyebrow.

'How's this?'

He had burnt the picture some weeks ago, in a vain and foolish attempt at dissolving the past. But objects were but material records which held no real importance, for the memories were always there, engraved in his mind. And it was clear his actions, trials and mistakes would accompany him forever. Like daggers embedded in his flesh, slowly bleeding him but never enough to stop the suffering.

He asked before his mask dissolved and he returned to his usual glower, face half-obscured by his curtains of greasy hair. Rosier guffawed loudly turning around just in time as the flash of the camera came and a cloud of orange smoke broke through them all.

ssssSssss

'That little potion of yours would be perfect for tonight, Severus.'

Mcnair hinted slyly as they walked around the lake with Evan Rosier, who grinned, eyes narrowed and nodded in agreement.

'Oh, yes! Please, will you give us some more?'

Severus raised an eyebrow, and stopped to stare at them.

'That- potion was an illicit mixture, surely you do not believe I have some more stored?'

Mcnair looked doubtful but Evan laughed.

'Oh come on, don't give us that. I know you do.'

'Yes? How do you happen to know?'

He asked in a menacing whisper.

'You wouldn't throw away something that good.'

Snape gave a small snort and gazed at the other boy with a small smirk.

'You idiot, it was but a particularly strong hallucininating potion.' He paused and sneered.' Apart from experimental and probably toxic.'

'I drunk it! And Mcnair too!'

The Slytherin exclaimed in alarm, scowling. The raven-haired boy's sneer grew more pronounced,

'Then give thanks you're alive.'

He could not deny that in the years he had spent at Hogwarts he had ended caring for some of his classmates, although he really did not consider any of them friends. For their intimacy did not compare with the one he had shared with Lily, and though some might have considered friendship the mutual convenience that had bonded them, he did not.

He added as he continued walking. Suddenly a giant, fleshy-colored tentacle flew from the water and grasped hold of Snape's waist, knocking him off his feet and dragging him towards the water.

'Impedimenta!'

Rosier shouted as another tentacle rose and buffeted the unwary victim, pushing him underwater. Mcnair sprinted towards the edge of the lake and taking out a small dagger tried to hack at the tentacles.

'Stupefy!'

The squid dropped Snape and scurried from sight, a few of it's tentacles seemingly immobilized behind him. Severus crawled from the water, his hair clinging to his skull like black algae. The other two Slytherin hurried forwards in mild concern as the wet figure spat out greenish water.

'Fare thee well Snivellus!'

A mocking voice called and Sirius Black strode into view, arm in arm with James Potter, who gave him a flourished bow.

'Our parting gift to the object of inspiration of possibly the greatest pranksters Hogwarts has known.'

He recited, grinning.

'You filthy imbeciles. You'll pay for this someday bastards.'

He snarled as he struggled to his feet, weighed down by the soaked robes. The two Gryffindors simply snorted and walked off laughing.

The final farewell indeed, Severus thought with a spark of annoyance and anger he could not quell. The last prank before they all left school and were spared of looking upon their faces ever again. But they were there, as before, they remained in his mind. Their mocking, triumphant grins and raucous laughter.

sssssssSsssssssss

Severus walked briskly out of the Slytherin Common Room. Some heads turning as the pale figure with billowing black robes passed by them, but none calling him back. A pleasant breeze was blowing, cooling the warm summer night when he strode out of the castle, head bowed and eyes settled on the floor before his feet.

'Severus!'

Lucius greeted him with a grin, striding forward and shaking his hand. The windows of the Three Broomsticks were dark behind the heavy curtains draped over them. The streets deserted as midnight neared.

'Finally free from school, eh?'

'Yes.'

Snape answered stiffly, looking around he noticed two figured bundled in heavy, black robes. He turned a questioning face towards Malfoy whose grin grew wider,

'More eager followers of the Dark Lord.'

He explained with an elegant shrug.

The four of them apparated in front of a large manor. It was encircled by high walls of rough stone, the gates wrought in handsome black iron which glinted in the moonlight. Lucius strode forwards and tapped the heavy lock with his wand, bursting it open as a greenish light shot from his wand. The flash illuminated the hooded creatures, which turned out to be Avery and Mcnair. Snape nodded at them coldly and they returned the silent greeting.

'If you shall follow me.'

Malfoy whispered and walked in, the path leading to the house was illumined slightly by eerie green lights which seemed to be coming from floating skulls, rather deformed ones. Dark, looming trees swayed their branches towards them like gnarled hands. They reached the thick, wooden doors and found them to be already open, leading the way into the darkened interior. A blood red carpet beneath their feet, a collection of paintings on the walls framed in gold and silver and chandeliers casting pale light from the high ceiling.

The Dark Lord certainly had an expensive, and rather peculiar taste...Slightly macabre some would say. When looked at the painting in the walls carefully one could distinguish some of it's occupants writhing in pain or screaming through silenced mouths, jerking bodies as severed limbs fluttered down into pools of shimmering blood. Rather exquisite art, Snape pondered with a twisted half-smile, very realistic.

'You shall be called.'

Lucius said quietly and passed through a black door. The three of them stared around, the silence stifling like a mantle of dust. After what seemed like hours a figure cloaked in black and wearing a white mask beckoned Avery forward. Silence. Then a cry and more silence. The person emerged again and bent a gloved finger for Snape to follow him. He passed through the door.

It was an ample circular room, lighted only by a couple of sputtering blue torches. The room was bare, except for a throne-like seat that met the eye as soon as one crossed through the ominous black door, about a dozen hooded figures formed a circle slightly smaller than the room.

'Severus Ignatius Snape.'

A harsh voice broke through the silence and Snape took a few steps forwards and knelt before Voldemort, head bowed.

'Come forward my friend...'

The Dark Lord hissed. Severus moved closer, until Voldemort extended a hand and pulled his chin up to gaze at his face. His face was nearly chalk-white, glowing red eyes with cat-like slits for pupils. He withdrew his hand after a few minutes of contemplation and waved lazily.

Lord...Voldemort...Snape thought with an involuntary jerk. Those merciless red eyes, like windows to the fiery pits of hell. He had never encountered any person who performed Legilemancy with such ease; he made you feel as though it were impossible to lie and horrible things would happen if you did. Which was nearly true. He had not offered any real resistance there, as the Dark Lord had been searching for nothing in particular. More like ascertaining the blackness of the new recruit's heart and the extent of his devotion.

A tall, imposing man cloaked in blood-red and wearing a black mask behind which only his glittering eyes were visible came forward, carrying a silver dagger in his hand.

'Extend your left arm.'

He ordered, and Snape complied. His robes were pushed up and the shining blade pressed to his forearm, a trickle of blood blossomed on his pearly skin and trickled down his wrist. The tip of Voldemort's wand touched the cut as the other Death Eater walked back.

'Morsmodre.'

Snape gasped as the Dark Mark appeared in glowing red in his arm, then bit his lip. The skull continued glowing red until Voldemort pressed his tip upon it once more and it faded to black.

Unconsciously his hand strayed to his left arm and rubbed the place where the Dark Mark was burned into his skin. It had hurt terribly, even more than the summons which were painful enough. As though the skull and the snake were being etched into his flesh with a red-hot knife, oozing with acid which seemed to melt through his pores and into his veins, burning through his bones.

'Welcome Severus Snape to the Dark Lord's Death Eaters.'

Severus bowed and pressed his lips to the hem of Voldemort's robes.

'May your loyalty never waver Severusssss.'

He hissed, eyes locking with Snape's and finally stretching his lipless mouth in an unpleasant smile.

'Never. My Lord.'

How ironic. Severus smirked grimly, digging his nails into his forearm without being aware of it.

SssssssS

Half a dozen cloaked and masked figures stood before a white, plain house. The street was deserted apart from the occasional rumble of a distant car.

'The Little Muggles were Sleeping, as Death arrived at their door and they didn't hear, the swish and flick of Doom. Filthy stupid Muggles, wake up for Death, don't keep her waiting.'

Bellatrix recited softly in a singsong voice before letting out a cackle of laughter and throwing off her mask to reveal glinting eyes and a wide, slightly insane smile.

'Let's go.'

Lucius agreed with an appraising smirk of approval and pointing at the handsome white door burst it open with an explosion of wood splinters. They passed through the door as two muggles came running, a man with sleep-messed black hair and a pretty blonde woman who screamed as she saw them.

'Silencio!'

One of the Death Eaters called and the woman fell silent, though her mouth was still open in a scream.

'What're you doing here? Who are you? What do you want from us?'

The man shouted angrily, fear flickering in his eyes as Dolohov laughed from beneath his mask.

'Nosy little muggle you are, eh? Imperio!'

As the ray of light hit him he began banging his head against the floor, screaming hoarsely. The woman was watching her husband with terrified eyes, sobbing silently she backed to a corner. Suddenly, as blood began trickling down his forehead, something flickered in the woman's eyes and she began rising slowly from the floor. Bellatrix noticed and her grin widened.

'Well, I better wake the children for our little party. It would be very mean not to let them participate.'

She stated sweetly. The woman bolted from the room and through a corridor, Bellatrix streaked after her, followed a moment later by Snape and a couple of more Death Eaters. They reached a room painted with pastel blue colors and little clouds and saw she was desperately scooping up one of her children while another older one woke groggily. With a bang like a gunshot the woman was thrown against the wall, blood flowing down her face from where her lips had been removed.

He felt nauseatingly revolted, and seeing his own form participating accentuated the hatred and disgust he felt at himself. He remembered what he had been feeling then; slightly lost, like a new student who doesn't quite know the way around the school. He couldn't quite place himself in the chaos. The lines around Snape's mouth tightened at the paradox, a place...order..in chaos.

'Come little children, don't you want to play?'

Bellatrix intoned softly and Crabbe guffawed thickly, grabbing the youngest which looked about three or four by the neck and shaking him roughly.

'Crucio!'

The witch shrieked and watched with a wide, content smile as the little boy howled with pain.

'You can take over the other one.'

She told Snape and cast the curse on the child again. Snape eyed the other one with narrowed eyes, he seemed about seven or eight and was standing against the wall, eyes darting from his mother and brother to the door and the hooded creatures before him. Bellatrix let out an impatient cry as the woman ran towards her, eyes streaming with tears and tried to claw off Bellatrix with her nails.

'Accio eyeballs!'

And two bloody orbs shot towards the door, and into Narcissa's hands. She tossed them at the boy, who dodged them with a yell.

'You've always been very messy Bella.'

She said in a dignified way. The seven year old lunged forwards abruptly, a bat clutched between his hands and swung towards Narcissa who let out a small shriek.

'Impedimenta!'

Snape hissed and he fell with a thud against the closet. Mrs.Malfoy eyed him silently and then gave him a small smile.

'Crucio.'

He did not know whether to weep or laugh. They both seemed strangely appropriate, but so did jumping off the Astronomy Tower.

They hissed at the same time and watched as the child screamed, sobbing, his mother banging blindly against the walls as she fought to get to her sons. Dolohov and the others which had stayed in the hall ran in,

'Come on, we've stayed here too long.'

Lucius told them all hurriedly.

'Avada Kedavra!'

Goyle grunted and the woman fell dead. Bellatrix killed hers after giving him an obscene kiss on the tear-stained cheek.

'Come on Snape. Your first one?'

Snape stared at the sobbing boy. His hair was messy and black, his eyes though obscured with tears could almost be called hazel in the pale light of the moon.

He had hesitated. Of course, he had known what he was entering when he joined the Death Eaters. But somehow, being told to kill that boy so suddenly had shaken him. Then, he had pondered, did he even know the boy? It would actually be doing him a kindness, for his family was all dead and he was sure to go insane after the events that he had witnessed. He had felt powerful, a feeling he had never experienced before. To know that he could end his life with just two simple words, like holding a leaf between two fingers and crushing it.

'Avada Kedavra!'

And he was dead. They ran outside.

'Morsmordre.'

Severus cast the Dark Mark into the air, which floated sparkling green in the air as the sirens sounded nearer. They dissaparated.

Thrilled, he was disgusted to remember. That was exactly how he had felt. A shrill rush of adrenaline had coursed through him and he had enjoyed it. As much as laughing with Lily, but it had not hurt as thinking of Lily had, it caused him no pang. At least then. Now it did, a stab of remorse as painful as though a sword were sliding straight through his heart.

SssssssssSss

'I hadn't had so much fun with muggle baiting in a while.'

Bellatrix sighed happily as they sank into the dense armchairs in Malfoy's living room.

'Yes, that was particularly enjoyable.'

Lucius said as he glanced at the newly initiated and smirked, taking a sip of his champagne

'A good omen perhaps.'

Crabbe and Goyle snickered appreciatively.

'A toast.'

Narcissa pronounced, leaning forward, now clothed in a deep velvety blue dress.

'To the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters.'

Antonin growled lifting his glass. All around they all raised their cups.

'To the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters.'

Snape slid a few inches down his chair, squeezing his eyes more tightly and giving a small sigh.