December 11th

We're almost about to break up for the holidays. Didn't see Harry yesterday. I want to though because I bought him a small xmas present. It's a new snitch to practise with.

Marietta and I went out with Michael to the Hogshead again and he brought along Roger and Emily Sawbridge. She looks a bit like the female version of Roger but perhaps more fierce looking. I can't be sure exactly what attracts him to her. She has thick eyebrows, mousy brown hair, which is always scraped so tightly to her scalp you can't help but think her eyeballs might pop out one of these days. On her face she wears these thick-rimmed glasses...you always see her peer through them with these scrutinizing eyes.

I first saw her in the pub; she was in the corner engrossed in some book completely ignoring Roger. I guess beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. She looked up from her book, pointing her...well pointy nose at me.

"Who are you?" she said.

I extended my hand to her, "Er...I'm Cho...it's nice to."

"Emily Sawbridge. Head girl" She didn't bother shaking my hand.

I glanced at Roger, how on earth did he manage to fancy her? Then Marietta, Micheal and Roger all left me so they could buy the drinks. Surely it doesn't take three people to carry them all?

I started to play with the place mats on the table trying to find something to talk about. Her shining head girl badge was glinting at me keenly, "So...how is it being Head Girl?" I said.

Emily looked proud, "Oh you know it's not that hard. I think it's my calling...being a leader. Organizing people and bossing them around."

I looked up, I'm surprised she would even refer to herself as a bossy boots. I thought it would be a safe bet to carry on talking about her V.I.P. status at Hogwarts.

"So...do you work well with Roger? I think he makes a good head boy," I said.

She leaned back into her chair and crossed her legs. "He's a bit of a meathead." She rolled her tongue over her teeth. It looked like she was picking food in between the gaps. Before I could defend Roger, they were all back with the drinks. Still he was practically salivating over her. Bit weird...it's not like him to be so...timid with a girl. Poor Roger. I don't think he has a chance in hell with her. I don't know if I should break it to him...I think I would rather know the truth. But maybe I should mind my own business.

December 13th

I was in the library making some notes and researching for my dissertation with Marietta. I think I was pulling books out from the "Charms" section and I saw Harry through the gap of books on the shelf. He wasn't alone. He was whispering to Parvati Patil about something and she was giggling at him. He didn't seem at all bothered by it. In fact he was smiling back at her, looking at her and being all handsome with his crooked tie and messy hair. I quickly put the book back and left the library as fast as I could. I hope it was just DA stuff.

I then spent the evening being really moody towards Padma. Well she is Paravati's identical twin. I couldn't help but compare myself to her. Paravati...so pretty, lovely big brown eyes, luxurious shiny dark hair, flat stomach, long lean legs, pert bum, cute nose, so perfect... She's quite popular with the boys now. You can tell because they all stare at her in manner which I can only describe as cow eyed.

And now in the library, Harry was staring at her in exactly the same way that all the other boys did.

That Parvati... I hate her!

December 15th

I've been trying to bump into Harry like we use to but he just isn't easy to find anymore. DA stuff...it has to be. It better be.

Malfoy is still being annoying...spouting stupid poetry that isn't even romantic. Not that I want romantic poems from him but if you're trying to impress someone with a poem...it should be.

He was following me into the Owlery, shouting "Oh the sleeper may toss and turn."And he made the 'toss' sound a little lecherous and then he'd change his voice so it sounded different each time he said it. Then he said a lot of things about sleeping. The perv. I said nothing to him and went about my business, which didn't seem to discourage him.

He was leaning against the window ledge, his eyes patrolling the school grounds, "I don't understand people like you," he said to me, "you should be proud of the blood that runs in you because you have what a lot of people want...pure... wizard...blood."

He turned to me, "Don't you see that it's something that's part of your heritage...my heritage and the heritage of the wizarding world? We're a dying...we're dying a slow slow death and we should all be trying to stop it."

I gritted my teeth as I read my letters but I was listening to him... I found it hard not too.

"Where's your pureblood pride?" he said quietly. Then he took the letter from my hand and grasped my shoulder.

And then Harry came in...

He was standing by the doorway. I couldn't see his face because the sunshine was shining so brightly behind him. I looked at Malfoy and then snatched my letter away from him.

Malfoy let go of me and then brushed past Harry and whispered something to him before he left. Harry shot him a look and scowled.

"Give it a break Malfoy! and for your information. She's not my girlfriend!" he said fiercely.

Then the Blond peroxided git raised his eyebrows at me, "That's funny...because that's not what Cho says."

And on that note he left! ARGH! It wasn't as if I said Harry was my boyfriend. I just didn't deny anything but still...I was so mortified.

"He just does what he does best. Being a prat..." I said nervously.

"What did he mean?" he said.

"He's just trying to stir things up." I said but I felt the heat creeping to my face.

His hand went over his chest and exhaled rather deeply, "Phew!... that's good because for a second I believed him," and then to my horror...he laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Just the idea of you and me together again... can you imagine?"

Well actually yes I can...four eyes!

His laughter died down but he was still smiling. "Well that's life isn't it?"

"Yeah...too bad I guess," I said smiling back uncomfortably.

"I think it was better that it ended early," he said, "We were never going to be happy."

That's not true...

"Yeah" was the only thing I could say. Then I let out this stupid fake laugh, "We'd be fighting like cats and dogs."

Then he nodded. He had a letter in his hand and started tying it to Hedwig.

"Haven't really seen you since the Firewhiskey," he said.

There are just some moments when you want to be swallowed by the earth you're standing on. I was desperate to leave but I was also so desperate to convince him that he did in fact have feelings for me.

"Yeah...well I've been hanging out a lot with my friend...Roger...so," I said.

"Oh that sounds nice." He said pleasantly.

The jealousy seeds I had planted with Ron just hadn't grown one inch...not even the brief mention of Roger was enough to ignite jealousy from Harry. My desperate plan was failing before very my eyes. I just stood lamely not knowing what to do with myself.

"Well I have to go... so I probably won't see you for a while since it's the holidays." I said.

"Ok" He said to me still smiling.

I left the Owlery without wishing him a Happy Christmas.

I stormed up to the dorm and slammed the door. How dare he be so pleasant and lovely to me when I'm feeling so angry and hurt! I had to start packing my things because we're all leaving for the xmas holidays soon. I noticed Harry's present that I was supposed to have given him was still lying in my drawer. It was the snitch.

It reminded myself of that evening when we forgot about the lost snitch in the sky and our gorgeous silence together. I was so ignorant of how Harry felt about me but still I was so happy.

I wish I were back in that moment now, not knowing anything at all.

December 29th

Well... not much has been happening. At home celebrating Christmas with the family. Studying as always. Fun.

I kept in contact with the girls to see how they are doing and was trying to give some good advice to Roger. I can't seem to break it to him that Emily thinks he's a meathead because I know now that ignorance can be bliss.

Ok Harry was bothering me but I've decided I'm going to have to move on. I don't expect I'll hear from him at all during the holidays. He's probably off snogging Parvati anyway. Lucky cow...I mean...ok when I get back it will be fine. I'm De-Harrying myself right now.