Goren Withdrawals: A Case Study in Obsession
Testimony of a Goren addict.
My name is (name removed for anonymity) and I'm a Gorenholic.
It's easy to look at me and dismiss me as another junkie, but what would you know? How you could understand what it's like, waiting seven days for your next fix? Drug and alcohol addicts have it made, whenever they need a fix, what do they do? They run squealing to their dealer. Where do we go when we need a fix? NBC only screens Goren ONCE A WEEK!
At first, it's easy to hide your Goren fixation. After all, Criminal Intent screens once a week. But then it gets worse. You start by idly thinking about Bobby while, perhaps, eating your lunch, wondering how he affords such expensive suits on a detective's salary. Then you go on to 'discovering' that your local DVD store sells season one and that it's 'not a crime' to own a piece of Goren. Pretty soon, you're hungry for more, so you trek long distances and spend obscene amounts of money on the pilot episode and season three. You've started feeding your Goren addiction. You've become a Gorenholic.
After a while, Criminal Intent just isn't enough. You need more of that fine actor, Vincent D'Onofrio, who plays Goren. So you go looking for anything and everything to do with him… movies, posters, interviews… you trawl the net for hours, just searching for one more photo… that's when you know you're addicted.
I wasn't always like this. Before Criminal Intent, I was once a caring, kind and productive member of the community. Now all I do is watch Goren… that smart, sexy, butt-busting detective. He's become my life. That's when I decided to do something about. To rejoin humanity. I sought out Professor Keene's help and together, we're understanding my obsession with Criminal Intent.
So here I am, sharing my story about how I fell into the clutches of an obsession that has taken over my life. Next thing you know, I'll be writing CI fan fiction.
Fan fiction? Now there's an idea…