Did You Consider Love?
Summary: It had happened more and more often. I was standing beside him, and it felt oddly natural…
Chapter 2: Falling Behind
Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran because it belongs to the wonderful Bisco Hatori.
Warning: Contains both heterosexual and homosexual content. If you dislike it please just don't read this fanfiction. There are plenty of other ones to read.
GAHCK! This took such a long time to write! I am so not used to typing fanfiction anymore. I am a slow updater and always have been so I will apologize for that but anyway… THANK YOU! I never expected such a good response for this story. I thought I would get like 2 reviews top. XD Oh and just to note I respond to comments at the top here if I think they need one. ;
gem2niki: Sorry my story sounds similar to yours. Please tell me if my story gets too similar because I don't want to inadvertently take ideas or anything… ; I have read your web comic (Not the actual fanfiction), and I adore it. X)
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Please stop coming closer. Beads of sweat formed along side a heavy scarlet blush on warming skin. I really meant no harm. A shaky breath and tremble of the dry lips; fear and nervousness that the young man had not faced for ages. Don't touch me please, I'm begging you! Soft footsteps hesitating their way backwards, hardly having any balance along the smooth polished floor. Don't get near my wall, my protection, my hea-…
Those hesitating feet could no longer defy the laws of physics and Kaoru's eyes widened as his legs shook and gave way, sending his body backwards. His arms flailed as his body sent the pink curtains flying open, falling to the floor. Such dramatics could only end with a dull thump and a sore backside.
Smiling like a fool, Kaoru laughed, shutting his eyes and rubbing his back. Why was he panicking so badly? It was only Kyouya-senpai, the man that could only truly grow fierce with the matters of money or at the antics of their crazy lord. There was nothing to be afraid of, nothing at all. If only his body believed that statement, for he flinched away from a warm hand that made contact with his cheek. Kaoru dared to look at the man standing before him and all that he met was a shocked stare. It was a shocked stare that he had never envisioned from the man with black eyes. Kaoru gave his senpai a confused reaction and sat up. Did he get something on his face or something?
If it was only that but no, no it was not.
Kaoru's lip trembled yet again as he saw drop after drop, falling onto the polished floor making the very slightest of puddles. It couldn't be… but the direct proof was there however when he looked back into his companion's eyes. Beyond the shadows from the lack of light, beyond the cold glass and into those dark eyes, one could make out the slightest of reflections, and the reflection was his. His face was flushed with shades of red and stained with salty liquid that would not cease. Kaoru covered his mouth with a hand, raising an arm to cover his eyes. No wonder Kyouya was shocked, absolutely no wonder. Kyouya had come face to face with one of the, if not the most, pathetic host in Ouran Academy.
"Kaoru," the cold voice cracked with slight worry, "Are you…?" The sentence would not finish itself. The evil lord has just run out of words, and at the worst of times. Kyouya took a step towards his fellow student crouched on the floor but not only would his speech backfire on him but so would his actions. Instead of talking any comfort, the auburn-haired man had curled into a tighter ball, giving the slightest of whimpers. Cold dread spread through the body of the evil lord.
He did not know what to do.
"Kaoru! KAORU?!" Kyouya felt his mind panic, almost running away from the scene but instead his feet stayed planted on the ground as the brother of the crouched figure had finally shown himself. "Kaoru!"
The dominant Hitachiin brother ran towards his sibling and lifted him off the ground, swinging an arm around his shoulder and holding Kaoru's hip. Heavy breaths left from the angered twin as he directed a glare at the dark-haired man. Hikaru was not happy at all, not one bit. The fire in his eyes showed that he was ready to kill, kill the one that had harmed the closest person to him. "What did you do to Kaoru?" growled Hikaru with a menacing sneer.
If Kyouya had been a weak person, it was certain that he would have run away but there was no way that his pride would let him do that. The raven-haired man leaned back against his right foot and crossed his arms in a rather rude manner. His glasses gave an eerie glimmer, and anyone who knew Kyouya understood his pose right away. He was on the defensive, and would hold his ground no matter what.
"I did nothing Hikaru", stated Kyouya with a matter of fact attitude, "He merely fell over." No more, no less was said. So many excuses such as, 'I was helping your brother get up' or 'Kaoru slipped and I was worried', but all of it was unused. It was a distant, frigid and unfeeling response.
"You cold bas-" Hikaru glowered, his voice raising but a finger fell onto his lips before he could finish his seething remark. Kaoru laughed nervously, the tears drying from his eyes. He was flushed crimson, most likely from shame, and sniffling like a fool. "Hikaru, please don't say that." The older twin's angered expression slowly diminished to one of concern for his brother.
"Kyouya-senpai is right", a choked breath from the shamed twin, "I fell, he didn't push me or anything of the sort." Hikaru's eyes widened in disbelief but he decided not to comment. If that was the case, Kaoru would have no need to cry would he?
Hikaru shook his head, trying to ignore the major burning within his forehead. He just couldn't handle anymore today. Giving one last glare to the black-haired man, Hikaru supported his brother and walked out of the room. Kyouya could only sigh as his cold stance cracked a little and slight tension lifted itself from his shoulders. He thought Hikaru would surely pick a fight with him but thankfully the younger of the twins had convinced him otherwise. Kyouya felt his eyes grow heavy, opening the curtains and walking back towards his desk with the vast amounts of paper located on it.
Flushed cheeks stained with tears, watering amber eyes that overflowed with what seemed to be fright and a shaking figure that just screamed for help. Kyouya took a long breath and took his glasses off rubbing his eyes. It was true; he really had not done anything, nothing at all to the less dominant twin. Still, why did Kaoru look at him like that? Shit… he already had enough work on his plate; he didn't need a personal shock like that fogging his brain. The crying face entered his mind again and Kyouya cursed softly throwing his blue blazer over his eyes. He really had done nothing to the crying man but still, if that was the case, why did he feel so guilty?
He lifted the blazer from his eyes and groaned again as he saw round brown eyes staring at him. Kyouya ignored the sight by shutting his eyes. So it wasn't only Hikaru who had witnessed the outcome of this scene. Right now he just did not want to think and Kyouya appreciated the fact that the young woman with intriguing insight had noticed this. He could barely hear her whisper a delicate message before her footsteps went further and further away. The dark-eyed man smiled a weak smile and chuckled. He would have to thank Haruhi for comforting him.
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Girls shivered, sniffled, wiped their delicate noses and sneezed in their bright yellow dresses, but for what reason? It was not cold; indeed it was a shining day as could be seen from the sunlight reflecting off of polished pink floors. It wasn't as if the Host Club had planned some sort of snow day opposite to their tropical days, which was last week anyway. Still, if one concentrated, they could distinctly feel frost brushing their skin, chilling them to the very bone and at the very least causing a shudder. What could cause such a chill against such a beautiful sunny afternoon?
Haruhi looked over from one side of the music room to the next. On one side was one twin and on the other side of the room, the matching brother. In between of course were gossiping girls, crying and frightened by the very uncharacteristic dark behaviour of the two brothers. The less dominant brother had a sad aura about him, depression that could strike a person down and evoke a reaction of tears such as the crying girls trying to comfort one another. The dominant brother could be heard cursing under his breath, a very angry aura emitting from him. Girls could only tremble in fright at this, and averted their eyes from the angered man at all costs.
It could be simply stated that the environment in the third music room was absolutely horrid, scary but worst of all, awkward. Haruhi's brown eyes turned towards her fellow hosts. The wild host quietly drank tea, sitting on a velvet sofa, almost seeming oblivious to the current situation but Haruhi could see the slight frown on his lips. As for his much shorter companion, the very young looking man ate a cake silently with a concerned pout crossing his mouth. Their king's reaction however was much more vocal as he somehow managed to panic frantically one moment and comfort frightened young women the next. Haruhi joined him in an attempt to comfort the worried girls in such an environment but she knew that most of her attention was directed at the one and only cool host.
Kyouya, the man with dark raven-hair, was typing in his glowing laptop, face expressionless and glass hiding the truth his eyes. Haruhi could only guess what had happened after what she had seen last night. Kaoru most likely avoided telling Hikaru about what had happened with Kyouya, only helping to fuel the anger within the older twin and Kyouya had most likely avoided the twins altogether. That must have not been a hard task for the man with glasses as he only had to be with the twins for two hours after school. Haruhi however had to suffer the whole day, sitting in between twins that would not speak and only open their mouths to mutter profanities.
Desperately, she wanted to smack some sense into her three schoolmates but Haruhi knew that it would be a dangerous landmine to step on. Haruhi began to pour some tea for the crying maidens when she felt a heavy weight on her arm. The host with short brown hair could only sigh when she saw the blonde-haired prince cling to her arm in tears.
"Haruhi, Haruhi..." pleaded the beautiful man, "Daddy doesn't know what to do. Mommy won't talk to him and Hikaru and Kaoru won't talk either. You will talk to daddy right?" Haruhi smiled gently at the blonde-haired man who immediately flushed a deep red hue. He was thick-headed but at the very least he was a thick-headed man that was considerate.
"Haruhi." A pretty girl with light brown hair addressed the natural host with questioning eyes. "Do you know what has happened? I'm really worried. This doesn't feel like a fake fight between the twins. They won't even speak!" The girl hushed her heightening voice to remain out of earshot of the twins. "I know that it may not be my business but is there anything we can do to make them feel better?" Girls surrounded the brave speaker that attempted to break the ice and nodded madly. They would do anything to help!
Before she could answer however Haruhi gave a startled cry as she saw the female manager in her large pink bow appear beside her. Renge gave all the girls a serious stare and coughed before giving her speech in a shrill voice. "If you really wish to help the host club today I believe that we should leave," stated Renge, "They cannot solve their problems with an audience so ladies, let us part an hour early for this day." Every single one of the girls in their yellow dresses nodded furiously and aligned themselves in two lines, marching out of the wide chestnut door.
Just before Renge joined the marching band of girls she turned to a depressed blonde head and calm brown head. "Haruhi, you will talk to each of the twins and help them," ordered Renge and pointing at Tamaki she ordered, "You will go to Kyouya. He may be his quiet self but in this state he usually would have already closed the club for the day." With that stated Renge gave them a wink for good luck and left, her smile fading from her face. She hoped all would go well.
So really now, what else could the chocolate-eyed girl do but walk towards the older auburn-haired twin. She figured that out of the two she should start with him first. Haruhi wasn't quite sure why she thought that but perhaps it was intuition. Her legs stopped right before the round white table where the muttering man sat, his yellow eyes glowing brilliantly. His fingers had taken up the pattern of taking roses from the crystal vase at the center of the table, and tearing them petal by petal. Haruhi found herself distracted from her cause as she stared at the wilting red petals. It was such a waste…
"You could sit down you know." Haruhi jumped a little, laughing nervously and embarrassed by the fact that she did not keep a clear head. Hikaru arched a brow, giving her a confused look before concentrating again on the rose in his hand. Haruhi took this time to take a seat by the older Hitachiin. It was silent for a few minutes, Haruhi just staring at Hikaru and his musings, but after a few more moments, the older twin drew in a deep breath. Haruhi watched him with curious eyes ready to take on anything he said, because to be honest she was impressed that he was even going to speak.
"Lately," a pause and breath from Hikaru, "Lately, I can't tell what Kaoru is thinking." He looked away from the listening brown-eyed girl with a slight blush on his cheeks. "I know that sounds ridiculous because Kaoru and I are separate people but… it's just been so different lately. I used to always know what he was thinking and how he felt but right now its just like well… fog." Haruhi leaned closer to Hikaru, placing her hands on her lap and listened intently. She had never been one to fall for the Hitachiin brothers' selling point of forbidden love but for sure, there was one thing that had always intrigued her and that was how deep their connection was with one another.
"I mean, he won't even tell me what happened with him and Kyouya-senpai yesterday." The auburn-haired man's voiced rippled with growing frustration. "Worst of all I can't tell if Kaoru is sad, angry or anything! Like seriously what is up with him?!" Hikaru gave an angered groan, throwing his head down into his arms. "I've never been this distant with him you know?" Hikaru laughed at himself, not lifting his head from the surface of the table, most likely hiding his shame. "Man I must sound like a girl right now." Hikaru's eyes widened as he lifted his head and flailed his hands about him in an apologetic manner.
"Not that it is bad to act like a girl or something Haruhi!" Haruhi felt herself laugh and clenched a hand over her chest. Hikaru flushed with surprise and looked to the petals on the round table. He did just say the stupidest thing ever when he was trying to be serious.
"You know," began Haruhi, recovering from her laughter, "I think it is so special that you and Kaoru are so close to one another." A genuine smile from the chocolate-eyed girl crossed her features. "But then, even when you are so close, the fact remains that you are still separate human beings. It isn't a bad thing to talk to each other once in a while." The words spilled from Haruhi's mouth, and as always, she was oblivious to the importance of her speech. "Being able to have the courage to talk to one another confidentially and taking comfort in it, that is a real connection. It shouldn't be too hard for the Hitachiin brothers right?" Haruhi felt her cheeks suddenly grow warm as a pair of arms encircled her, covering her small body with a gentle warmth. Hikaru smiled softly, laying his head on her shoulder.
"Arigato Haruhi, arigato."1
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Shining blue eyes glimmered with hope, concern, and desperation. The blonde-haired man crouched beside the round white table, placing his fingers on its edge. He stared up at the monotonous raven-haired man. Tamaki was worried about Kyouya. Although his classmate was quiet and claimed to base their relationship on benefits, Tamaki still couldn't help but pour his absolute trust in this man. They had been through so much together, and surely they would be doing the same in the future.
Yet even with all that, he still felt that cold wall in front of him. Tamaki may have been able to unlock the steel door in front of Kyouya's heart but he had still not been able to shatter the glass wall that lay behind it. Even now, he could not tell how his closest friend had felt. Eyes hidden behind shining glasses, a posture made of pure confidence and an expression that held no emotion whatsoever. How could one expect the beautiful prince to know how his evil advocate felt? This however, did not mean that Tamaki would merely give up. He had gone too far in to crawl back out.
"Kyouya…" mumbled the host club president, "Kyouya, are you all right?" Kyouya made no effort to give Tamaki any attention, simply looking straight forward into his laptop typing. "I have no reason to not be all right," responded Kyouya with a hint of boredom in his voice, "And if we are done for the day, I will gladly take my leave." Tamaki pouted his eyes downcast as Kyouya began to turn off his laptop. "Are you angry that I didn't tell you about the money I spent on getting a snow machine for the club or maybe the time I bought a set of elf cosplays or maybe-"
"No Tamaki," Kyouya shut his laptop neatly placing it inside his black schoolbag, "That does indeed irritate me but no I am not angry." "Then why… why do you seem so confused?" Kyouya felt his gaze widen a little before he corrected it. They always did say that gentle people are sensitive… "I really don't know what gave you that idea Tamaki but that is not the case. I am not confused." Kyouya focused on his schoolbag, placing various papers and pens inside it. He felt his defense rise slightly. Why did that idiot blonde head have to know so much yet not understand a thing at all?
Before he could stop it, Tamaki felt his hand rise up and take Kyouya's wrist. The blue-eyed man stood up, staring down at the startled look of his close friend. "Kyouya, please," Tamaki uttered softly under his breath, "I don't like it when you lie to me. You don't have to tell me everything; I mean I know it is not my business…" Tamaki grasped both of Kyouya's hands and leaned in towards his slightly flushed classmate. "I just want you to know that is isn't necessary for you to carry all of your burdens. That is why I am here." The blonde prince stared intensely into dark black eyes with a hint of desperation.
Kyouya smiled the ever so faintest smile, but for certain it was there. "Do not worry Tamaki, I know." Blue-eyes glittered happily and a childish smile crossed the features of the host club president. Relief wafted over both of their shoulders.
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Amber eyes looked from one side of the room to the next. Hikaru was smiling, he was holding Haruhi, but more importantly, he was happy. Kyouya had smiled, his hands entwined with Tamaki's, but more importantly, he was happy. Kaoru sighed, lifting his body off of the ledge by window. He landed on his feet, making a slight noise but not enough to distract anyone. He really didn't want to disturb them all by being the wet towel of the bunch. Slinging his black schoolbag over his shoulder, the auburn-haired man took a somewhat hurried pace out of the room. It took all his strength to manage a weak smile and give a silent farewell to his tall dark-haired senpai and his shorter blonde-haired senpai, who clung to a pink bunny. The large doors clicked behind him as he left and Kaoru looked over the empty hallway before him.
It was a lonely path to walk, but at least it was a path to somewhere.
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1 – Sounded better than "thank you." ;
Sorry about the angsty Kaoru… I just like him that way… Please R and R if you like this story cause you do know reviews fuel of sorts. Oh and sorry if the update takes a long time, I am being distracted with some of my fanart projects, which will hopefully include a Kyouya/Kaoru picture… Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope that this is long enough for a chapter. I can make it longer if I must but it will hurt… ;;
IkuiTenshi