Whoot I am on a rool. Hope you enjoy!

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January 7, 2008

Well I am almost done packing now. Well what I can carry, that is. I really dont see bringing everything, since most I will never need to use again. Its Tuesday night and I am afraid to know of what tomorrow will bring. Isabella, Krystal and I have decided that we are going to chance it on our own and head to Canada to the camp. It shouldn't be that hard. I mean we are in PA. Its only a couple of states right? It wasnt as bad as we thought when we went to tell the council of our decison. They gave us a map and some guns. To tell you the truth I would rather face the dead then what is going on now. It seems like all that survived are worse than the dead. There have been reports that there are bikers who roam the barren wasteland and attack anyone at anytime. sometimes they just try to scare you, rob you, or kill you.

Not to long ago one of our scavenger units was attacked and from the group of eight only two came back and one died in the hospital a day later. i really dont want to think about things like that, since I was suppost to be on that mission out, but came down with the flu and needed to have a replacement. I dont even want to imagine what would have happend. But despite these risks we decided to take our chances. I have heard but i am not sure that some others have considered heading out on their own to. No doubt in my mind we are not the only ones.

Hopefully they make it where ever they wanted to go before snow fall, as I do for us. If we are caught in a snow storm, we may die as well. Man all these chances against us and yet we still decide to go for it. It may seem we are crazy in a way. No wait, we are crazy. But what else can we do? We have a chance either way.

If we go down to the south with the group, we could still get attacked. We could get lost as well. We could..well anything. Anything can happen at any time. I guess this is what is meant by starting over. I really dont know, but I can only hope that we make it to the camp, and even hope more that there are people there that we were looking for. Its scary you know. I cant tell my friends this, because well, its just something I dont want to bring up. What if everyone we know is dead? What then? Where will we go?

What if we cant start over and we run out of food, or we freeze to death? What if..what if we die trying to find something that no longer exists and its something we want more than anything.
A life. Not just living and breathing. I mean a life where we can live without any worry or death. A life where we can live in a house with our families and grow up. A life we can call our own and not have anyone interfere, Is that so much to ask for really?

I know i may sound selfish right now, but then that is someone elses problem. Its just not fair. I never asked for this. I wanted to go to college and become a doctor. I wanted to help people.
I have done so all my life. I volenteered in a retirement home and a nurse aide. I just want someone else to take care of me. I just need someone..not only my friends. I am not sure what I want really. I just want something and one day I hope I can find it.

Bree.

I sighed again closing the small blue diary and putting it into my backpack. I looked at my wrist watch that surpristingly I found on a mission last year, and it hasnt died yet. It was 11 at night. We were planning on moving out at first light and hope to make it to the state border in a day or two.
I dont see how that is possible since we will have to make this journey on foot. No elctricity, no oil,
no gas.

Plain and simple. I then looked over at Isabella and Krystal who were fast asleep on the other beds at the right side of the room. How could they sleep with the thought of what we were about to do in their mind? Maybe it was just me. Maybe i was being a little paranoid about the whole thing, but who could blame me.

I put my bookbag on the side of my bed and laid down staring at the white cieling. I turned off the lights, but still sleep didnt come so easily. Staring at the cieling again I couldnt shake the feeling of helplessness and worry away. Could it just be me?
I sighed rolling on my side. Maybe some sleep would do me good, but i knew that sleep may be harder to get to tonight. Just with all these worries and thoughts and problems. I dont think i could have ever got to sleep, but however despite all of this. I closed my eyes and slowly slipped into a deep sleep.

With the new day about to break, were we ready to deal with the outside world alone. Could we really survive and what would we do if any problems arise. Guess we would just have to wait and see.

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Ok almost ready to go. Please review and THANKIES FOR READING!!