Sometimes Silence Is Golden; Talking Is Silver

It wasn't raining. Without even getting out of bed he opened his eyes, stared at the ceiling and grinned. He could tell without looking out the window that it wasn't raining. He kissed Meredith Grey twice last night.

It definitely wasn't going to rain.

Mark got up and showered, unusually in a good mood. He had even awakened before his alarm clock and was already on his way to the hospital. First, he had to make a stop.

It was raining. She peered through the window, confused. The sun was shining, but it was raining. She shrugged her shoulders. The two rarely made an appearance together in Seattle, but stranger things had happened. After all, she kissed Mark Sloan last night.

Twice.

She smiled and got ready for her shift. Her smile widened when she stepped outside. She chuckled at what she found outside, quickly cracking the door open and throwing her umbrella inside. She shook her head once more as she glanced at her bedroom window.

The sprinkler was broken and was aiming at her second floor window.

It wasn't raining.

Derek watched his companion in amusement. He momentarily forgot about his own sorrow, intrigued by his friend's unusual outward display of…giddiness.

"Mark?"

"Mmhmm?" Mark replied, his hand full of coffee and…

"Why are you holding a bag of pastries and two coffees?"

Before he got a chance to answer, Derek continued.

"And why are you…smiling?"

Mark continued to smile. "There's a woman."

Derek, slightly jealous, already knew who she was. He pushed the obvious twinge of jealousy aside as a new one made its way to the surface. It was evident on his face.

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Grace?"

Derek nodded, "Yeah."

The doors opened as the two stepped off, ready to part ways. Mark turned, offering a genuine few words. "I'm here, you know, if you want to talk, hang-out, fish."

Derek smiled. Grace was gone, but at least he was warming back up to Mark. He thought he even trusted him again. "I may take you up on that."

"Dr. Grey? Dr. Grey?"

Meredith snapped back to reality, unconsciously quickly licking her lips. "Uh, yes Debbie?"

The nurse smiled, seeing the source of Meredith's zoning out a few feet away. Being a nurse, you got to know these things. "The patient in Exam Two was just sent to Neuro by your intern Kayla. Could you sign for it?"

She nodded and smiled. "Sure."

Meredith took the paper and signed for it, making her way to the lounge. Head down, she would've bumped into the toned body of a certain man she'd kissed the night before if he hadn't been watching her.

"Whoa Mer, look where you're going much?"

She smiled shyly. Okay, maybe it was a knowing smile with a little playfulness. She hadn't quite decided what smile it was. "I was in my element."

He chuckled, handing her a cup of coffee. "No, I believe that was last night."

This time, she did smile shyly. A hint of red even graced her face for a moment.

Mark smirked, enjoying getting a rise out of her. He then offered her donut.

"Coffee and a donut!" Meredith eyed him thankfully, as well as suspiciously. "This still doesn't mean I'm sleeping with you Sloan."

"You've already done that."

"Well," she continued, eager to win, "this doesn't mean I'm having the sex with you."

He laughed, "'the sex'?"

She giggled, shaking her head up and down. "Yes, 'the sex.'"

He threw away his cup, already finishing his coffee on the way to work. "Alright; at least for now."

She rolled her eyes.

"What? I get points for trying."

She grinned, "and I get points for defense."

"You know Mer, you don't score on defense."

She nodded, smirking. "That's the point."

He gave in, knowing she full-well won that round. He shrugged playfully. "Fair enough."

They locked eyes for a few seconds. His pager went off.

"Well, the great one is needed."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course."

He put his pager away and kissed her softly. Too bad she wanted more. So, she took it.

"Dr. Grey." He smirked.

"Dr. Sloan." She grinned.

She was counting down the minutes until word got around the hospital. Her bet was within the hour. Make that, half-hour.

"Dude, did you freak'n jump his bones in the lounge?"

Meredith couldn't help but laugh. The hospital was like a major game of telephone. The gossip was so juicy, mainly because people's imaginations altered it.

"No; we weren't even in the lounge, we were near it. As for jumping his bones…I merely kissed him."

Alex nodded, fully aware of the gossip vine. "Tongue or no tongue?"

She grinned, "Meredith, remember me?"

Alex smirked, off to his next patient. "That's my girl!"

Meredith turned too, off to check in on her interns. "Hey, Alex?"

He turned, "Yeah?"

"Don't tell Christina yet, okay? I want her to think she was the first to know."

He nodded. "Whatever. She's gonna find out."

She walked out, murmuring to herself. She sighed, "I know."

Meredith was having lunch with Mark, Izzy, and George a couple of hours later. She successfully had avoided Christina for three hours. She claimed she needed food before she dealt with her. She would need all the strength she could get. Unfortunately, her hours were up.

"Meredith Marie-Ann Grey!"

All heads shot up to see a very angry Christina. Meredith chose to keep her head down.

This made Christina angrier.

"Meredith!"

Meredith looked up, having no choice but to get it over with. "Yes Christina?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Deciding it best not to play coy, she answered, "I was going to. You were in surgery all day."

"It was sex Meredith, sex. You could have got me out of surgery for that!" She sat down, taking a bite of George's apple. "Plus, if you had sex, then something would have had to happen earlier. And you didn't tell me then!"

Unable to hold her laughter in any longer (Mark's grin wasn't helping the situation), Meredith giggled.

Christina looked on, "What the heck is going on; what's so dang funny?"

Meredith composed herself. "We didn't have sex Christina."

Unwilling to let her off the hook, Christina warily replied, "Oh. Well, what did happen?"

"We kissed."

Izzie dropped her sandwich, regained her composure, and then clapped.

George, who had been surprised by the whole situation, just stared between the couple. Izzie told him to close his mouth.

Mark grinned, pulling Meredith chin toward his. "It kind of went like this."

He then proceeded to kiss her. Yes, this time softly; without a intervention from other parts of the mouth.

Christina put the apple down. "That's it?"

Meredith nodded, though she didn't tear her gaze away from Mark for a few seconds.

"Well then, okay." Christina stood up. "We'll talk about…whatever later," she said, pointing between the two. "Don't forget, dress fitting at eight tonight."

Meredith nodded. "Okay."

They continued to eat in silence for a few moments.

"Marie-Ann?"

Meredith chuckled, "It's not real; we both don't have middle names, so we gave each other ones we didn't like. You know, for cases such as…this."

He nodded in amusement.

"And what's Christina's?" George asked.

"Georgia Mae."

"Wow, Christina, you look…" Meredith started.

"Like a girl," Izzie finished.

Christina grinned, looking in the mirror. "Yeah, I do."

"So, I think that's the one."

Christina continued to look in the mirror as Meredith joined her. She turned to find Izzie and Addison. She looked at all three in their dresses. "And I think you guys have found yours."

Izzie stared at Christina's bust.

"What?" Christina snapped, intrigued.

"You have…boobs."

Christina smirked. "Yeah, so what?"

"Nothing," Izzie replied. "It's just, you're a…girl."

Christina began to take off her dress. "Okay, enough 'girlie' crap. Let's go shoot some pool."

A couple of days later, Meredith was still happy. She knew why she was happy, which made her happier. She was pretty sure Mark felt the same way, or at least she hoped. She was right.

Mark felt the same way.

Since their first conscious kiss they had only slept over each other's houses' twice. Their shifts didn't permit otherwise. With a little tweaking on Derek's part, that would soon slightly change.

Meredith was currently talking with Derek in the park. This was them being friends.

"I think I want another dog."

Meredith laughed.

"What?"

"That was unexpected." She took a bite of her cookie. "I think you just miss Grace. I know I do."

He smiled at her as she stared straight ahead at some children playing on the swings. She really was beautiful. She could be beautiful without being his girlfriend. It was Meredith, and she was beautiful. She was his beautiful friend. This beautiful friend also had another: Grace. "Yes, I do miss Grace."

She took his hand. "Well, if there's any consolation, she misses you too."

He lit up like she just told him that she bought him his own ferry. "Really?" He caught himself, clearing his throat, "really. What did she say?"

On to his act, she smiled as she explained, "She said she missed you. She really likes you. It's been a week and she's still talking about you. For Grace, that's a big thing."

Interest peaked, he probed, "What does that mean?"

She shrugged. "She's sort of a…ex-Mark. Not in a real whore way…just like, a commit-phobe who gets bored easily. You've lasted more than three days. I'm pretty sure you're in."

He nodded. "Mer?"

"Yes?"

"Was that…is this…weird?"

They both laughed at the situation and its expected awkwardness. She nodded, "Yes; but we're trying. I'd rather try than pretend nothing happened."

He nodded, "Me too."

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I can be happy with him; really happy."

"It's been a week Mer."

He chuckled while she nudged him. "You know it's been longer than that. I've known him for two years now." She stopped upon receiving a stare from Derek. "Okay, so I've only really known him for one, and have been with him for a week. But, it's just, different."

He nodded, "Different from us."

"Yes," she confirmed. "Not that I regret us, Derek, because I don't. I loved you more than I've loved anyone, anything. I fell hard and it hurt. But the pain was worth the fall."

Derek chuckled. "I don't know whether I should be flattered or offended by that…explanation." He turned serious after their mutual grin. "But, I know what you mean." He put his arm around her shoulder. "I still love you Mer. I always will."

She nodded. "I know. And that's why we'll always be in each other's lives. I fully expect to be a god-mother, at least an aunt."

"Of course."

Meredith's phone rang. "Sorry."

He nodded in consent.

"Okay…right…are you sure…okay….I'm on my way."

"Mer?" He noticed her pale complexion. "Is everything all right?"

She shook her head 'no,' and then 'yes.' "I'm not sure. My dad, he's…"

"Dying."

"Yes, and he wants to…he wants to see me Derek. He doesn't have much time," her voice dropped. "And he wants to see me."

Knowing how much she was going through, he asked, "Do you want to see him?"

"I don't know." She shook her head yes. "I think so. I want him to… to die having said everything he needs to. I think I can give him that."

He nodded. "Okay. I'll tell Mark when he gets here where you went."

She got up and nodded. "Okay." She gathered her things. "Uh, Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

He offered a sympathetic smile. "If you need me…"

"I will."

Derek watched her walk away, wishing that Thatcher would wise-up and stop hurting the daughter that he left. His thoughts paused as his friend, or best-friend (he wasn't quite sure) approached.

"Hey, Mark, there's…"

He didn't finish as Mark cut him off, obviously very pissed. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, or if you're trying to pay me back or something, but leave Meredith alone. You've hurt her enough."

Caught off guard, Derek scoffed, hands up. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You were pretty friendly with her. Even I could see that a few feet away."

Derek shook his head. "You're so off-base on this one."

Mark huffed, "Well, enlighten me Shep."

"We're friends, that's it." He looked at Mark for a response. He didn't get one. "You don't trust her?"

"I don't trust you," he retorted.

Derek, growing agitated, fired back, "If I was going to 'make you pay,' I would have done it a long time ago. Meredith's too in love with you to look at me twice that way ever again."

"Well, I---what? She loves me?"

Derek chuckled, his anger abated and replaced with bewilderment. "A lot. She hasn't said it, but you should see and hear the way she talks about you." He turned serious. "Don't break her Mark."

Mark, realizing that he had indeed blown things out of proportion, sighed and joined Derek on the bench. "Sorry man."

Derek nodded, offering him a cookie. It was toffee crunch. Mark grinned and accepted it.

"Meredith's favorite," they said in unison.

They chuckled and took in their surroundings.

"You love her, don't you?"

Mark didn't look at Derek. "I don't know. I think so. But, you know, it's different from Addison. I don't want to screw this up. Meredith is…the best. On the note of sounding corny, she makes me want to be better." He finished his cookie. "And if you repeat those words to anyone alive I will make you one of the undead, got it?"

Derek laughed, "got it."

Mark finally thought to ask why Meredith left. "Why'd she go?"

Derek finished his cookie and took a swig of his milk. "Thatcher wants to talk to her."

Mark didn't respond but the muscles in his jaw tightened as Derek interpreted. "Just be there for her. She's going to need it."

Mark nodded. "I know, but I'm not sure how to deal with all of…this. When he dies, she's gonna be…"

"A mess," Derek finished, nodding in understanding. "It's going to be unbelievably difficult for her. She's going to keep telling you she's fine, and then one day, out of the blue, she'll break. But, you can keep her together if you're there. Just don't let her push you away."

Mark nodded, making eye-contact. "Who would've thought that I'd fall in love with your wife and girlfriend?"

Derek gave a stern look.

"Too soon?"

Derek nodded. "At least you waited until Meredith was an ex."

So, she made it to her father's room. All she had to do was go in. She gave a sad smile as Lexi noticed her and gave her father's hand a squeeze. He smiled as she got up to leave the room. Meredith so wanted that to be her. Somehow she knew she wasn't going to get that smile.

Lexi closed the door and looked at Meredith. "You can go in now, he wants to see you." She sighed, "He's in one of his lucid moments. I'm sure he'll recognize you."

She nodded, "I know. I just don't know what to say."

Lexi placed a hand on her shoulder. "Let him do the talking." She winked, lightening up the situation. "He owes you that much."

She walked across the hall to the vending machine while Meredith tentatively opened the door to Thatcher's room. She wasn't quite sure what to do. Deciding that she wasn't quite ready to sit next to him in the chair and play the 'dotting daughter,' she stopped at the foot of his bed.

It was the first time that she was in his room. She had gone past since he was admitted, but she always looked in; pretty much how she'd been doing all her life until Susan changed all of that. Susan. She missed her.

Quickly pushing that out of her mind, she was suddenly eager to get out of the room. She decided to speed things along as she studied her father's unreadable face.

"You wanted to see me?"

He nodded. He was weak. She knew he shouldn't exert himself. He knew it. There were just a couple of things he had to say. She could let him do that. The near-dead had the right to let the living squirm; at least she'd always thought so when she observed the final days between patients and their families.

Now, she was the family. Thatcher was the patient.

He wouldn't be in a couple of days. If that.

He motioned for her to take the seat vacated by his middle-child with Susan.

She cautiously took the seat. She nearly fainted when he took her hand.

He spoke slowly and clearly. "I need to tell you something."

She motioned for him to continue with her head, not able to speak. She'd always wondered how it would feel to hold his hand, much like she was doing now. It wasn't how she'd imagined it. It was so…cold, distant.

"I'm sorry."

She suddenly found her words. "Thatcher, it's okay." No, it wasn't okay. She didn't know why she said that. She was being nice. Yes, that was it. Be nice. He's dying.

He poorly waved her off. "No. It's not. It's not okay that you killed the woman who wanted to be your mother. It's not okay that I had the misfortune of being your father."

She pulled her hand away from his grasp as if it were on fire. Tears threatened to fall. The anger slowly lent a hand to evaporation.

"That's what I'm sorry for, Meredith," her name sounding as if it hurt to say it, emphasized as if it were a curse. "I'm sorry I made you." He licked his lips, his mouth dry from speaking more than a few words at a time. "I should've listened to Ellis, at least about that. She didn't want you."

Her anger failed at keeping her tears at bay. She got up, not wanting to hear anymore. She couldn't.

She stumbled, almost falling on the ground after tripping over the chair, her eyes never leaving Thatcher's. "I'm…sorry." She pulled herself from mid-air with her hands clutching the side of his bed for support as she scrambled to get away.

"Lexi?" he grabbed Meredith's hand. She wanted to hurl.

She couldn't answer. She didn't need to.

"Could you tell Molly that I want to see the baby?" He smiled, half-talking to himself, no longer looking at Meredith. "I always wanted a granddaughter."

She pulled her arm away and somehow found the strength to put one foot in front of the other.

She closed the door, pausing to regain her composure to no avail. She couldn't do it. Not today. Not now.

Luckily the wing was empty, save for a nurse and Lexi who was waiting in the chairs. She warily approached Meredith, still in shock.

"Meredith?"

Meredith heard her name, but didn't know who it was. She didn't care. "I…I need to…leave." She was hyperventilating and sobbing at the same time. Her eye's met Lexi's. "I'm sorry."

And then she ran. She was good at running. Too bad she could never run without being in pain. It was sad, really. She couldn't get a work-out in unless her world was falling apart; a world which was held up with melting glue.

Lexi watched her leave. She looked through the window at her father, and then at Meredith's retreating form. She was confused.

She sighed, pulling out her phone. She didn't have his number, but she had George's. Hopefully, he would know Mark's number.

She was done. She didn't want to be happy anymore. Happiness was only an illusion that clouded your vision of reality. Soon enough, that illusion would vanish to reveal that your situation was never what you thought it to be. It only lasted as long as you held on to the fantasy. Once you let go all bets are off. Why be happy when you could be miserable from the start? That way you knew what was coming.

You expected it.

She got out of the cab and handed the driver a fifty, not even bothering to get her change of twenty bucks. She looked at the house she hadn't visited in eight years. She swallowed whatever pride she had left, already feeling the euphoria that she would experience momentarily.

She knocked on the door the way he taught her how. She knew it would only take a minute before he answered.

He opened the door, not expecting the only person it could be. He grinned and rubbed his scruffy chin at the sight before him.

"Meredith; my how've you grown."

"Sam."

She stepped inside, not waiting for an invitation. The two stared at each other for a moment. She knew it was a bad idea.

He knew it had to be pretty bad to show up again after eight years.

He gestured to the back of the house. She eagerly followed.

She was ready to forget.

A/N: Wow, long chapter!Okay, so, hope to be done by Friday. You guys are great reviewers! This is the most reviews I've had! I think it's because it was the weekend, but thanks. You guys are awesome!

KB22: Thanks! Yeah, it's based on the show, but you gotta luv AU for your own twist! 

Murgy31: Glad to hear from you! Thanks for the review!

Anon: Thank you! Glad it works!

Pitdroid: LOL! You're comment about the sex quote was GREAT! Yeah, I don't think I'd like MerMark on the actual show…they would REALLY have to set it up for me and not have it about getting back at Derek. Thanks!

Onlyone-chance8720: Lol. Thanks. Dude, for real, Eric Dane is hot! Trying to figure out why I didn't see it before. Now I have to Netflix his movies and see if he was cute then too, or if he's a wino like Clooney…tastes better with age!

MarianaTeresia: Thanks hun!

Surgery-Girl: Glad I did the rambling well.  I try!

Katherine Austen: LOL…I know! Preston's line was great! It's like, out of character but not. Again, Gexie to come. Muah!

Km157: I was looking, and that was a longer chapter, lol. Glad you liked it. Stories from people make me super-duper happy when they're long! Thanks!

Merderdreamy5: Thank you so much…I'm humbled!