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Muses Behaving Badly
Chapter Five: Orgy
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Great, now the two Scandinavians were plotting against me. No, not Cyrnic and Cerdic, though I'm sure that at some point nancy-boy will show up as well. No, I'm talking about Tristan and Cerdic. Who knew they got on? And got on with most of the females of the fandoms I write about?
I, being the authoress that I am, was in my closet. Hiding. Behind a red Kinsale cloak that I was going to wear to the Renaissance faire. I'd ejected the women of my fandoms back to their genres with the persuasive threat that I would be pairing them with the most unusual person from their particular storylines with reckless abandon. It was amazing how quickly those chickies abandoned playing with Cerdic's and Tristan's braids and vamoosed to their appropriate corners of my brain.
"My lady?" came the voice of Arthur through the closet.
He opened the door and crouched down, green eyes spotting me behind the red velvet. "My lady, you must come out."
I shook my head, hair sticking to the velvet thanks to static electricity. "No, I don't. They had an orgy. On my bed." I pointed a shaky hand to my queen-sized bed, the sheets and comforter piled on the floor. "And then they--they," I dropped my head into my hands, unable to continue. "I know things about their anatomies that no one save their personal physician should know."
Arthur smiled apologetically and pulled me out of the closet, his calloused hand gripping my hand in an iron grasp. "Come, dear authoress, that contraption you call a phone is ringing."
I nodded, meekly following the Once and Future king from my bedroom. The phone was, indeed, ringing. I picked it up, cradling it between my shoulder and my cheek. "Hey," I offered listlessly.
The voice on the other end laughed. "Jeez, Brig, you'd think you'd died. What, did your 'muses' cause havoc again?"
I shrugged. "You could say that. What's up?"
"We're going to Renn Faire. You know this is opening weekend, right?"
I nodded more to myself than any belief that my friend could see me. "Yup. Need a driver?"
"Actually, thought you might want to play passenger and get wasted."
"Sounds lovely. I'll be over in an hour."
"Great."
Hanging up the phone, I found a cadre of knights and one Saxon standing around listening to my half of the conversation. Wonderful. "I'm going out."
"Where?" demanded Bors.
"Renn Faire. I will not be thinking of any of you while there. And, Tristan and Cerdic, I would appreciate if you would wash the sheets and comforters used in your---"
Arthur looked about to interrupt.
"Don't worry, Arthur. I have to come back. They close at 7 p.m. and won't let me stay overnight. And if anyone makes any comments about my alcohol consumption, I'm going to start writing slash."
That shut up all of them pretty damn fast.
TBC...
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To My Wonderful Reviewers
Ysolde: You are a trip. I hereby dedicate this story to you.
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