Chapter 3

Ninja pervs and chicken wuss

It was about 11 o'clock and Jiraya was heading to his favorite peeping spot. The old ninja loved that spot, it gave him a perfect view of the beach, where all the girls played volleyball. As he walked towards the bushes, he heard a giggly noise. Curious, he looked, and to his surprise, there was already someone in his favorite peeping spot!

"what are you doing you little perv!" he yelled at the punk.

The kid turned around, and stared up at him.

"what does it look like?"

Jiraya instantly liked the little nin-perv.

"Whats your name?"

"Hyuga Neji"

Hyuga, Hyuga, that name was familiar to Jiraya. AH HA! It was that clan that had that evil eye thing. The power to see through solid objects. Handy.

"so, anything good today?" responded Jiraya looking out at the volleyball players.

"excellent" said Neji, going back to spying

" aren't you a little young for this, your like 14 or something"

"its only been a week since I learned my eye can see through clothes" replied Neji, giggling slightly

"SEE THROUGH CLOTHES!" Said Jiraya, as giddy as a schoolgirl.

"Neji" Said Jiraya leaning towards him "you and me are going to become good friends"

On the other side of the village, Shikamaru was lying in a tree, trying to take a nap. It had been a troublesome day, which by the lazy dumbasses standards, was the fact he was awake.

"bothersome, just bothersome" he whined to himself

Shikamaru shifted his position to get a better view of the town. He could see Kiba off in the distance, trying to get a raccoon to get on his head. He looked to his right, and saw Lee, training. Shika looked more to his right, and saw TenTen coming out of a adult store. TenTen had become a bit of a, how to say, girl who enjoys playing slip-n-slide. As far as he knew, she had been with half the guys in the village. If Shika had actually cared, he might have looked a bit more into the issue, but the voice he heard next chilled his blood.

"Shiky! Come on, its time to try my new dish!" said Temari, holding a plate with a object that looked no where near edible.

"oooooohhhh" whined Shikamaru as he squirmed in the branch. Lately Temari had decided that she should work on her culinary skills, and started to cook. When she was done making the unholy results, she would get others to try it. She couldn't get near Gaara, because the sands that protected him wouldn't let her get the food even close to him, and Kankuro was always out. So she did what all evil girlfriends do and forced her boyfriend to become a guinea pig for her food.

Shika still remembered the last time he had eaten her cooking. Temari had made a cake, and had added too much salt. The thing was so awful it gave Shika the runs for days.

"uh, hi Temari" he said jumping down from the tree "whats up"

"I've got a surprise for you Honey!" she said with a big bright smile on her face, and she showed him a plate of food that looked like charcoal biscuits.

"umm" said Shikamaru, very unsure of the substance "you made hamburger?"

"no silly" said Temari, unware of the abomination in front of her, " I made eggs!"

Oh god

Shikamaru desperately looked for an out, and he saw it, form of, Ino.

"hey look!" said Shika, pointing to the blonde girl "that bitch insulted your cooking!"

"that hag!" said Temari, dropping the plate, she pulled out her fan, and started to chase after her, saying profanities that I'm not allowed to type.

"sorry Ino" mumbled Shika "I need to escape"

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