Chapter 5

Sand boys big problem

Gaara was walking around the village looking for something to do. He had spent the morning scaring the crap out of some kids with his sand, and felt like doing something else. He was walking through the training area and decided to look around. He noticed Rock Lee training nearby, and Gaara sighed. Gaara had developed a huge crush on Rock Lee, after all, Lee was one of the people who showed Gaara what love was, so the crush was natural as natural as yaoi couples go . Ohh, he was so handsome, his strong body, his total determination, his censored, this isn't a yaoi . Gaara started to drool looking at the sight, thinking to himself how naughty he was.

"hey Gaara!"

Gaara almost fell over from surprise, he was caught off guard. No matter what, he had to keep his image, a sullen, emo, evil, demonic, slightly rodent like murderer. He swung around, and to his surprise, it was the village Bicycle (don't ask what that means) Tenten. Tenten was wearing her usual pink outfit, but it was undone at parts to accent her, umm, feminine charms. Tenten was wearing enough makeup to confuse her with a whore, and was moving in closer to Gaara.

"Hi TenTen" said Gaara, trying to avoid her eyes "whats up?"

"I'm just walking around, looking for something fun" said Tenten, obviously hinting something

"okayyyy" said Gaara nervously, hoping that she would go away

"would you like to do something Gaara?" TenTen asked, shifting even closer

" I can't" said Gaara, struggling for an excuse "ive, ummm got cancer"

"really" said TenTen, obviously not buying it "you know Gaara, its comedy night at the ramen bar, would you like to go with me?"

Ohh, a comedy night? Maybe Gaara could ask Lee to it, he just needed to get away from this harpy so he could ask Lee.

TenTen moved in closer to Gaara, which caused him to try a second distraction

"look!" said Gaara pointing desperately "its Shino!"

"ohh!" Tenten giggled and ran off to join the flock of girls surrounding Shino.

"whew" said Gaara going back to spying on Lee "gotta get back him"

Unfortunately for Gaara, Lee had vanished

"son of a bitch

Iruka was at the local grocery store buying root beer. It was strange, he had spent the last few hours chugging this strange new beverage, and no matter how much he drank, he felt empty. So the only way Iruka could fight that was to drink as much as he could buy.

"and 78 cents are your change" said the cashier

"T-t-t-hank you" said Iruka, shaking so much he could barely hold onto the change.

The cashier looked at him with a look of curiosity, what the frick was wrong with that teacher? The next person in line was a real weirdo too, it was an incredibly fat kid wearing a scarf and a ninja headband. The kid had so much food that he dropped some on the ground.

"is that all?" said the cashier wondering why she had gotten this crappy job

"no" replied the incredibly fat ninja, "I need more"

As the kid waddled away, the Cashier yelled NEXT to the other person in line. Up walked a Ninja in an Organge jumpsuit talking to a pink haired girl.

"come on" whined Naruto to Sakura "Sasuke is gay, he said so, and him and Orchimaru went to the sound village, remember? Believe it!"

"oh, hes not gay" said Sakura, blushing "and I'm not interested in him anymore"

"whats up?" asked the cashier as she scanned everything Naruto had all ramen .

"I asked her to the comedy night at the ramen bar, and she wont go, she wants to go with the ugly rip-off of Bruce Lee, Believe it!"

"ROCK LEE IS NOT UGLY!" yelled Sakura, going into her demonic anger form "DIE NOW!"

Naruto dropped the money for the groceries, and ran off, constantly yelling 'believe it!' with the pink haired girl chasing him cursing the whole time.

"crazy ninjas" said the cashier, looking for the fat kid "what kinda ninja is retarded enough to wear orange?"

The fat ninja came back, carrying even more food with him. As he put it down, hes said "that's all". The cashier looked, and noticed a part of the pile moved. Not wanting to look, but doing so anyway, she grabbed the moving object.

"why the hell do you have a guinea pig?" said the cashier, as the fat orange rodent squirmed in her hand

"I hear they go great with hot sauce" said Choji, eying the guinea pig like a hungry dog. "can I eat it now?

"no" said the cashier "take your food and get out"

Choji looked upset and left, muttering about food and pigs on his way out.

The fat kid had reminded her of some character from a manga series, it was something about an Alchemist or something. Sigh, it was going to be a long day for her.

"jeez" said the cashier as she looked towards her new guinea pig "my job sucks"

Hi, ive got more chapters coming up, it might take a while, this process is incredibly hard to pick up.

and as many people can probably guess, i dont like choji, hes a stupid fatty