NOTES: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews. You guys are a lot more supportive than I give you credit, right on, lol. As I said, there are going to be bumps but everntually there will be a smooth ride. I thought it was crucial for Meredith especially to have this happen so that she could see what exactly it was that she was losing and how she honestly cannot function without Derek, and it can be applied vice versa as well.

In defense of Lexie...I'm not making her the bad guy. Everyone seems to loathe her and it baffles me. She had TWO scenes and it's not like she KNOWS Derek is with Meredith. Its not like she sat there and said, look at this man with the fantastic hair and the nice eyes, I bet he is seeing my half sister who I don't even know, let me step forward and try to get into his pants. So, no Lexie hating here. I've seen it too much and I'm not going there. She's not the bad guy for flirting with Derek, she doesn't know his backstory. So thank you to the handful of people who praised me for not making her the "evil barwhore".

The next three chapters will have big things happening, and someone we know and love will be making a return. Not spilling, though I'm sure you all will guess easily, lol.

With that, hope this chapter helps some of you guys recover from the last one!

The smell of aftershave hit Meredith the moment she woke up. She laid still for a moment, breathing in the scent. It was not Derek's. She shifted in bed, pausing when she heard a groan to her left.

"Fuck, what time is it?" Alex Karev asked, obviously still half asleep.

"Five," Meredith answered, remembering the events of the night before. For once she had woken up in bed with someone who didn't wind up there due to drinking. She wasn't sure if she should feel proud of herself or disappointed, seeing as this time she had no good excuses.

"Shit," Alex growled. Meredith simply sat up, pulling the comforter and tucking it under her arms.

Meredith rarely woke up before the alarm but when it began beeping wildly to her right she turned it off in a fluid motion before turning to look at Alex.

"We didn't drink last night," she stated.

"No, we didn't," Alex agreed.

Alex and Meredith jumped a bit when they heard the slam of Izzie's bedroom door. They heard her pad down the hallway, banging on Alex's door. When no one answered she had a bitch fit and stomped back down the hall to Meredith's room.

"Meredith, where is Alex?" Izzie sighed and Alex took that as his cue to run towards the bathroom and turn on the water.

"He's using my bathroom so that you could get in the main one without complaining this morning," Meredith sighed.

"Oh," Izzie nodded. "He told me yesterday at work that his alarm clock was busted and begged me to wake him up today… did you get him up?" Izzie asked through the door.

"Uh, yeah…I did…"

"Alright well, hurry up if you want breakfast!" Izzie exclaimed before running downstairs.

Alex emerged a short while later with a towel around his waist and a distant expression on his face. He was thinking but Meredith wasn't even going to try and pinpoint what exactly he was thinking about.

"It doesn't have to mean anything," Alex finally shrugged.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"Us, sleeping together. You don't have to…justify it or anything. Things happen," Alex said.

"Oh, yeah…" Meredith nodded. "I didn't do the drunk and inappropriate thing this time though."

Alex just nodded, "You shouldn't give me that much credit," he said before he slipped out of her bedroom.

Meredith got herself together and dug through the pile of clean clothes spilling from the laundry basket in the corner of her room. She had yet to find time to fold them and dug through hoping to find something that wasn't wrinkled beyond repair. She settled on a lavender Henley and some dark wash jeans and let her hair fall about her shoulders.

"What is with you two this morning?" Izzie asked as she licked pancake batter from her fingers.

"We can still ask what was with you last night…and this morning…" Alex pointed out, motioning to the basket of muffins before him.

"So anyone get any good surgeries?" Izzie asked, changing the subject.

"Nice save," Meredith laughed.

"I try," Izzie grinned.

"I'm a resident now and I haven't seen the inside of an OR yet…I'm pissed," Alex muttered through his muffin.

"I got to babysit interns with Bailey," Izzie sighed.

"Did you…talk to any of them?" Meredith asked, her eyes shifting to her hands that traced the edge of her placemat.

"She's nice, Meredith. She's nice, very smart, she talks with her hands…just like you and she's pretty clumsy but she'll make a good surgeon. She listens well and doesn't backtalk. I…couldn't stop thinking about how alike you both are…"

Meredith shook her head, "We're not. She's just any other intern."

"Mer…" Izzie sighed.

Meredith just picked at the smorgasbord of food on the plate Izzie set before her and shook her head again, "Just pretend I didn't ask."

Alex gave Izzie a look before she could open her mouth to speak again and she simply shrugged, "It's weird being able to boss George around."

Alex smirked, "That's pretty damn funny."

"Alex," Meredith scolded. "We have to show our support…and whatever. Do the friend thing and let him sit at our table even if he had to do seventeen rectals."

Izzie groaned, "Yeah, we all know what table he sits at. Can't let go of the wifey's hand you know..." Izzie said, her voice laced with contempt. She paused and then shook it off, "Oh look at the time! We'd better go, come on guys." Izzie grabbed a muffin from Alex's hands and stuffed it back in the basket.

"You're doing that thing…" Cristina said, turning to Meredith.

"What thing?" Meredith sighed.

"The thing where you look disturbed, and mopey but you think you're convincing people that you're not but you do a really shit job at it. You're like…dark and twisty Meredith on steroids today," Cristina stated.

"I am not," Meredith sulked.

"I have to scrub in with Erika Lecter…are you going to be okay? Do I need to have someone person sit you? Please keep away from all bodies of water and don't stick your hand in any bomb-made body cavities," Cristina ordered before she turned to walk off.

Bodies of water? Gee thanks, Cristina Meredith thought to herself.

Meredith took a deep breath; she obviously had to find Derek as he was assisting her in putting a shunt in a young man's brain in less than an hour.

Meredith stumbled through the hospital, lost in the daze of her own thoughts when she spied Derek by one of the nurse's stations, going over a chart. It was hard to stay set in stone over her decision to end it when he was leaning against the station, smiling and grinning through his conversation with nurse Debbie. It was that signature smile that she couldn't resist, the smile she found it ridiculously hard to turn down. She rolled her eyes and sighed; she made the choice and she was forced to live with it. It didn't help that she felt pretty guilty about the night before either.

Her feet began moving before her mind could but she stopped when Lexie made her way over to Derek, playfully touching his arm and giving him a million dollar smile.

"Last night was great; I'm thinking we could have a repeat?" Lexie grinned.

Please let her be talking about surgery, please let her be talking about surgery, Meredith thought as her knuckles went white from clenching her fists so tightly. Her heart began to beat faster and she could hear every thump, thump loudly in her ears. She watched Lexie's fingertips graze Derek's lab coat and trace his wrists as she felt all the color drain from her cheeks.

"I'll have my apartment until the end of the week if you'd like to come over again..." Lexie suggested.

Meredith felt sick, she felt her breakfast collecting at the back of her throat and wanted nothing more than to expel the contents of her stomach.

It had to be some sort of cruel joke, maybe she was completely misunderstanding them, but as she watched Lexie stare at Derek in total adoration, she was sure she had heard everything just right.

"How could you?" Meredith blurted out as she made her way over. She couldn't control herself, the words slipped out just as fast as her legs had carried her over.

"Meredith…" Derek's winning smile quickly faded from his face as his piercing eyes soaked in Meredith's broken expression, "I…"

"You told me I was the love of your life and yet you're so quick to move on…with…with my sister?"

Derek looked at Lexie in complete shock as Meredith dug her nails into her palms to keep herself from lashing out physically.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek gasped, and shock overcame Lexie's face as well.

"I…I…had no idea you two were involved, I…didn't think it was important…" Lexie managed to push out.

"Meredith, I had no idea she was your sister!" Derek exclaimed.

"Would that have even stopped you?" Meredith asked, emotion overwhelming her words.

"I'm so sorry, Meredith. I didn't know. I would have never approached him had I have known I sw-"

Before Lexie could finish her words, months of pent up frustration, emotions and anguish charged through Meredith's hand is it struck Lexie's smooth pale skin. Lexie's hand moved quickly to the sensitive flesh, horrified that Meredith had actually struck her. Meredith couldn't even find the words to speak; instead she turned and started down the hall.

"Meredith!" Derek called out and Meredith turned for a moment, fire burning before her blue eyes.

"Don't you dare speak to me, Derek Shepherd," she growled, before turning and storming off down the hall.

"Doctor Grey," Richard Webber said, looking up from his paper and raising an eyebrow.

"I need a personal day," Meredith stated.

"May I ask why?" Richard questioned, removing his eyeglasses.

Meredith pressed her palms into his desk, "No."

"I understand you have been through a large amount of trauma recently, Meredith, but I cannot just let you go when you've got a solid block of surgeries scheduled," Richard said as he watched Meredith's eyes well with tears.

"I don't want to beg," Meredith managed to squeeze out. Richard watched her tremble before him and he sighed; he had promised Ellis that he would look out for her and he knew that if he forced her to stay at the hospital any longer that day that she would break.

"Fine," Richard gave in, "But this cannot be a regular occurrence."

Meredith nodded and quickly left the room.

"What was that about?" Miranda Bailey asked as she entered the room just after she watched Meredith storm out.

"Grey is taking a personal day," Richard answered.

"Does this have anything to do with her slapping one of my interns?" Bailey asked.

"What?" Richard asked.

"You didn't even bother to ask her why she wanted to leave so badly?" Bailey asked.

"I did and she refused to answer," Richard shrugged.

Bailey sighed, "Look, your personal preference to Grey is painfully obvious, and since it's so painfully obvious, you need to pull some strings for ME."

"I don't see how these things come together," Richard pointed out.

"O'Malley. You let Grey take the test again," Bailey said.

"That is because Grey did not answer anything on her sheet and retook the test within the same day. George O'Malley clearly failed despite the allotted amount of time he had to study and get his act together," Richard stated.

"George O'Malley has been through his own traumas. Have you forgotten that he lost his father?"

"Miranda…"

"No. You don't get to Miranda me, Richard Webber. I like Meredith Grey, I truly do but as I said before, your favoritism is obvious! So if you get to play favorites, I get to play favorites. You owe this to me," Bailey growled.

"Owe this?" Richard asked.

"I lived, breathed, dreamed and slept Chief Resident; I wanted it so bad I could taste it and I thought I more than deserved the title. Hell, you basically sat there and told me I was a shoe in and then I read the board and….Callie. You gave it to Torres. What did I do? Did I fail you somehow? Did I disappoint you?"

"Miranda, if you do not understand why you were not chosen than obviously it WAS a good decision on my behalf and maybe by the end of this year, you will understand why exactly I did it."

"Don't be cryptic; I'm not going to sift through all your words for answers. I'm a blunt woman so you can give me some damn respect and be blunt yourself."

Richard took a deep breath and stood, staring out of the window, "You were becoming the mirror image of me. Your entire life was, and is, this hospital. You reached out to the patients and embraced them like family. Your work ethic is amazing and you are a highly skilled surgeon. But there is life beyond this hospital. Your son, your husband, they need you to save them just as much as any car crash victim or crazy teenager. I don't want to know that you ended up miserable in your personal life because you couldn't step away from Seattle Grace. You're going to argue this, I know. You'll say that you know your place here and at home or that I'm "mommy tracking" you but deep inside, you know I am right."

"Find some way to get George O'Malley a second try at that test," was all Miranda Bailey could force from her lips.

Richard just nodded and looked out the window again, "I'll see what I can do."

"Meredith," Izzie sighed, many hours later outside of the bathroom door at Meredith's house, "Please, just let me in."

"Meredith, come on…" Alex sighed. "You can't stay in there all night."

Meredith could argue, Meredith could yell and scream or throw things, but instead she sat balled up in the corner of the bathroom, hugging her knees and trying her hardest not to think about Derek Shepherd. She was failing miserably.

"She's the one who got me out of the bathroom and now I feel like I'm a total failure as a friend for not being able to do the same," Izzie sighed.

"Izzie," Alex sighed.

"She can't stay in there forever!" Izzie yelled.

Alex stepped back until his heels hit the wall across from the bathroom and then lunged at the door. Meredith jumped at the sound of his body hitting the thick wood and she rolled her eyes over his abundance of testosterone and the-guy-on-the-white-horse approach to getting her out.

She heard his heels hit the wall and groaned as she stood, opening the door before he could run at it again.

"Please don't break my door," she sighed.

"Come on," Alex sighed, slipping his arm around her waist and guiding her to her bedroom. Izzie followed and Alex turned back and looked to her.

"Can you get her something to drink?" Alex asked and Izzie nodded.

"I'm fine," Meredith sulked.

"Don't even start, alright?" Alex growled. "You're not fine and you do a crappy job of pretending like you are. So, just stop."

Meredith folded her arms over her chest and then threw herself back on her bed.

"When you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen," Alex stated.

"I have nothing to talk about," Meredith said.

"You're a crappy liar too," Alex said, sitting on the bed.

"How can he go one minute to saying he's madly in love with me and then the next…he's…doing whatever…with my sister!"

"Same reason you were in bed with me last night," Alex shrugged.

"No it's not!" Meredith shrieked, sitting up and glaring at Alex.

They heard the front door slam followed by footsteps up the stairs and Meredith's door flying open. Cristina slipped in, followed by Callie.

"I brought…reinforcements to pry her out of the bathroom and she's in here?"

"Alex tried to break down the bathroom door so I decided to get out," Meredith sighed.

"Good job, evil spawn. Now you can leave…thank you for your time, no penis allowed," Cristina said, shooing Alex off with her hands.

"I'd…like him to stay," Meredith said softly, reaching out and grabbing his wrist.

"What?" Cristina asked. She first stared at Meredith's guilty face and then to Alex's. She looked back and forth a few times and then gasped.

"Oh Meredith, you DID NOT," Cristina groaned.

Meredith's eyes shifted to her feet.

"Oh….OH. You're a pot, you're a total pot and Derek is so the kettle," Cristina growled.

"You know what Mer? I should go…I'll uh, help Izzie in the kitchen or something," Alex said, leaving the room before Meredith could protest.

"Why aren't you getting all defensive? Why aren't you all duh, huh? What did I doooo?" Cristina asked. "Oh…you did, you seriously did and you know you got caught so you're gonna sit there with that guilty look on your face."

Cristina turned to Callie and threw her hands up, "She slept with Alex," she stated.

"CRISTINA!" Meredith gasped.

"I should go…since you're alright and all," Callie stated, backing her way towards the door.

"Park it, Torres," Cristina ordered, pointing to the bed.

Callie sighed and sat down, despite the confused look on her face.

"You were in my wedding that wasn't and you're prime candidate for a new person," Cristina stated. Callie turned to Meredith for answers.

"You're a friend," Meredith stated. Callie raised an eyebrow.

"Meredith…you went beyond inappropriate this time, this is like….inappropriate squared. It's disturbing. I know that alcohol and men are your Prozac or whatever but-"

"We didn't drink," Meredith stated.

"Oh, that makes this WORSE," Cristina sighed. "You have no excuse now, it was just…stupid, and you weren't intoxicated…wow!"

Meredith sighed, "I…" She struggled to keep her composure before she began to cry.

Callie wrapped an arm around Meredith instinctively and hugged her. "I am...slightly out of the loop here, but...you've got enough on your plate and I totally get that. You should just do for Meredith for a while...no Dereks or random comes-out-of-nowhere sisters or attractive roommates...just Meredith, okay? Just do your thing...with the brains and the surgery...thing. "

Meredith sniffled a bit and looked at Cristina, who was raising an eyebrow at Callie.

"Yeah...you tried, you can stay," Cristina nodded.

Callie shook her head and laughed a bit at Cristina. Meredith shook her head, trying to make the pain subside with Callie's words but it all seemed so hopeless.

"Mer, don't cry. Nothing is worth crying over," Cristina sighed, struggling to convince herself.

"Why is Callie in there but not us?" Izzie groaned as she stirred the pitcher of lemonade sitting before her.

Alex shrugged, "Mer's out of the bathroom, and she's talking, that's all I care about."

"But…Callie isn't one of us…she's like…far from one of us."

"Your beef with Torres…I still don't get it. Personally, I think she's pretty cool."

"Whatever," Izzie groaned.

Alex rolled his eyes, "You still huffy because George doesn't spend time with you anymore? He's married. Married guys don't hang out with chicks, he's all…ball and chain now. You have to get over it."

"Yes, because you're an expert on monogamous relationships, Alex Karev," Izzie shot back.

"I'm not going to sit here and deal with this shit right now," Alex sighed. "I've got more important things to worry about."

"Meredith? Since when did you become friend of the year?" Izzie asked.

"Alright, enough! What the hell is up with you? Don't say 'nothing'; none of us are as stupid as you like to make us out to be. Enough with the baking, the sulking, the lashing out at anyone and everyone at the most inappropriate times. Something is bugging the shit out of you and the more you bottle it up the worse it's going to get. Spill, Iz, because this is getting old quick."

She continued to stir the lemonade in a steady motion until Alex's hand rested atop hers and she shifted her eyes to look at him, "You'll judge me."

"Who am I to judge anyone?" Alex asked. "I'm not perfect."

"Yeah but..."

He realized the only way to get her to speak out about what was going on in her head was to admit what he himself had done, "I slept with Meredith."

Izzie words had already begun to slide from her tongue as he finished his statement, "I slept with George."

An awkward moment of silence passed until they turned to stare at each other in disbelief, "What?" they both gasped.

"Iz...you didn't," Alex sighed.

"I didn't? What about YOU?" Izzie gasped.

"Meredith isn't married!" Alex exclaimed.

"Yeah well George's marriage was just one big mistake anyway," Izzie scoffed.

"There is no excuse!" Alex exclaimed. "You and George...what the fuck? Where did that come from? How is it you gave me no chance but you jump in bed with O'Malley?"

"You wouldn't understand! You have no right to judge me...you slept with Meredith!"

"And Callie has no clue, does she?" Alex asked.

Izzie rolled her eyes and Alex shook his head at her, "You're sick in the head," he said before turning and heading upstairs. Izzie sighed; he judged her. She knew he would and yet she still told him. He was angry and upset and yet she couldn't turn it around against him because he had a slight point. Sleeping with Meredith was bad, but not anywhere near as bad as she and George.

She poured herself a glass of lemonade and leaned back against the refrigerator. She never could have imagined a year ago that George O'Malley would be the cause of her woes.

"They...embraced me. It was odd...but strangely comforting. Meredith Grey was crying on my shoulder and Cristina Yang was singing my praises...well, in a Yang sort of way," Callie exclaimed. George was removing his shoes and jacket, trying hard to pay attention. His mind began to wander to who else might have been at Meredith's house in the warped comfort circle that had been created.

"Was...Izzie there?" George asked.

Callie's smile drained from her face for a moment and she took a deep breath, "She was...in the kitchen or something," she shrugged.

"Oh, it's just...you know she's emotional and gets too involved..." George sighed.

"I wasn't focused on Izzie Stevens, my concern was on Meredith. Izzie seemed fine," Callie stated.

"Oh, okay..." George nodded, "How is Mer?"

"Miserable," Callie sighed. "She's just...fragile. Like at any moment she's just going to break."

George gave another nod and Callie slipped into bed. George stood by the window and pulled back the curtains to stare out at the city lights for a moment.

"I love you," he said, turning to stare at Callie as her midnight curls swallowed the pillow and surrounded her.

"I...love you too," she replied before turning over onto her side.