Chapter 12
Shikamaru and his crazy girlfriend
It was the day after the ill-fated Ramen bar comedy night. It was morning, the sun was shining, and the local ninjas were doing their freakish activites. School had been canceled indefinitely ever since the teacher at school had streaked across the stage. So all the students were spending their new free time with pleasure.
Naruto and Kimimaru were walking down the middle of town and Naruto was venting his problems. Kimimaru was glad he had someone to talk to after getting beaned last night, but he was annoyed that Naruto kept saying believe it every time he spoke.
"Believe it! Seriously, Sakura has a crush on the friggen workaholic ninja, and she wont spend any time with me! Doesn't that suck?"
"You think that sucks?" replied Kimimaru "everyone in town thinks im gay for that creepy snake pedofile. That sucks."
"Well, maybe if you didn't always walk around topless you wouldn't appear to be gay. Believe it!"
"Well, that's a suggestion" sighed Kimi "besides, theres only 2 gay people in this town, Sasuke and Haku, and Sasuke left town"
"believe it! Yeah, well, I'm kinda glad he's gone, now there will be less yaoi's going on, believe it!"
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing…nothing…Believe it!" responded Naruto
"Well, speak of the devil" said Kimimaru spying something ahead
Haku was next to a building, putting up multi-colored gay pride signs.
"Uh, wow" said Naruto "believe it! uh, hi Haku, whats up?"
"Hi Naruto!" said Haku in his high pitched girly voice "I'm just putting up some alternative life style signs"
"Wow, that's, umm, great" said Kimimaru, slowly backing away "awesome Haku"
"You could join too Kimimaru!" cheerily said Haku "I heard that you also live an alternative lifestyle"
"Why the hell does everyone say that!" angrily said Kimimaru
"Hey Naruto! I heard you and Sasuke lead an alternative lifestyle too! You can join too!" said Haku, focusing his attention to the orange wearing retard ninja.
Naruto suddenly had a flashback to his first face to face encounter with Sasuke. It was burned into his memory (Sasuke had slipped him some tongue) . The kiss, and the beating he got from the girls at school afterwards. Naruto was horrified that everyone in town still remembered it, even the little fruit Haku.
"uhh, Haku, Believe it!I've gotta go" stuttered Naruto "I've gotta go see some Medic Nin's cause I've got, umm, cancer.Believe it!"
Naruto and Kimimaru promptly got the hell out of there, leaving Haku by himself.
"What nice fellows" said Haku, going right back to the posters
Shikamaru awoke to find himself with a pounding headache. He couldn't see clearly, and he felt groggy and tired. What the hell happened last night? He remembered leaving early, and tripping on something. He couldn't remember anything past that. Arrgh, his head hurt like crazy. He tried to rub his head but he couldn't move his hand.
"Your finally awake" said a familiar voice
Shikamaru couldn't see very well, but he could make out a figure in front of him.
"Is that you god?" asked Shikamaru
"Hell no. Are you still drunk from when you had sex with that slut?
"Temari, is that you?"
Shika's eyes were getting better, and he could actually see his surroundings. He was in a dark room, and Temari was standing right in front of him. Shika loved Temari, even though Temari was the scariest woman he had ever met. But right now, she was looking the maddest shed ever been, even madder than the time he told her he was to lazy to get her a birthday present because he couldn't care less.
"umm, Temari, what are you doing?"
Shikamaru tried to get up, but he couldn't, he had both his hands cuffed together and chained to a chair. There was only one thing going through Shika's mind, 'uh oh'.
"Temari, I told you last time, I'm not into the kinky stuff"
"This isn't sex you freakin Prick!" said Temari, more angry than Shikamaru's ever seen her "you cheated on me with the village whore!"
"Uh, what the hell are you talking about?" asked Shikamaru, completely unsure of what Temari asked him.
"You passed out on top of Tenten! Your hand was on her chest!"
"You aren't making any sense Temari" said Shika, not changing face
"Fine, then you want it to be rough" said Temari, scowling, pulling out her fan.
"Oh shit" thought Shika
Just to clear things up, i have to inform/disappoint you by saying that what happened between Shika and Temari in this chapter was non-sexual. I repeat, NON SEXUAL. But yeah, Temaris into the rough stuff. Bad luck for Shikamaru
Ohh, and i have seen that episode Shino laughs, i thought it was funny, but a part of me died when i saw Shino laugh, but just remeber, "my senses are that of a gold sniffing Fox!"
I figure since ive shown my Top 3 favorite characters, time for my Least favorite ones
MY TOP 3 HATED CHARACTERS
Ino, I hate this bitch, i hate hate hate hate her. And i dont even know why. Shes a blonde, bitchy, weak, stupid Airhead. what is there to hate about her?
Choji, Stupid fat hobbit! wait, no. He spends all his time eating, thinking of eating, chewing, spends like,2 seconds of his life fighting, then goes back to eating. Lame. At least gluttony could do that and make it cool (guess who Choji is themed after in this fanfic)
Sasuke, I hate him the most out of Naruto. I admit, his shangarin (how do you spell that) is cool, and so is fire jutsu, but thats where it ends. I refer to him as the gay ninja, think about it, he has a horde of girls coming after him, and he turns them all down, and the first time hes shown, he frenchs Naruto. personally, after watching some Naruto episodes, i think that a yaoi of NaruXSasuke practically writes itself, seriously, (watch episode 132, you'll see what i mean)
thats it pretty much
yeah, i felt like writing that. Keep sending reviews, and just rember, "Don't believe it!"