Chapter 11

The lights in the building started to go out through the halls signaling that end of the day that was approaching. Addison attempted to fill out her patient's chart for what felt like the hundredth time. It was a constant struggle for her to concentrate these days. The last two months had been such a blur to her. Roller coasters of emotions that she had never experienced were taking her for rides she never asked to get on in the first place. Watching her sister die was hands down the most painful challenge she had ever faced in her life. Abigail was so good at hiding her pain but Addison could tell the cancer was taking its toll on her. Her face had lost pretty much all of its color and the dark circles under her eyes became more apparent every day. She was the same beautiful person on the inside. The cancer may have been eating her alive but her spirit was stronger than ever. Her laughter was still contagious and when she was feeling good enough, she could still get Addison and Molly to dance around the kitchen while they were preparing their favorite meals. She was still Abigail but her body had become prisoner to the pain. There was a knock on her door, Pete peaked his head inside of her office. He had finally learned the common courtesy of knocking and for this she was grateful.

"Hey there, are you busy?"

Addison shook her head, "No come on in." She hadn't really spoken to him a whole lot the past two weeks. In fact, she was still a little irritated about the conversation she had with her sister about him. The fact that Abigail and Pete were discussing her infertility with each other bothered her but Abigail had promised to drop it. She was still being treated by Pete but Abigail hadn't mentioned him since.

He walked in and pulled up a chair, scooting close to her desk. "I hear you're mad at me."

Addison rolled her eyes, "I'm not mad at you. I'm just irritated that you and my sister decided to talk about me while I wasn't around." She pulled the glasses from her face and set them on her desk.

"Well, I don't mean to burst your bubble but we don't talk about you in a bad way. It's actually the opposite. We talk about how great you are and how we both want you to be happy. That's when the infertility issue came up and that's when I mentioned about the acupuncture treatment. I figured if I'd mention it to you, I'd end up hanging by feet from a building."

Addison struggled not to grin. Most women would hate to think someone could accuse them of such evil deeds but it secretly delighted her. "Well, I'm not interested in your quack treatments so tell it to someone else." She stood up and started cleaning off her desk. It was getting late and she wanted to get home to her family.

Pete came around the desk next to her and leaned back on her desk, grinning as she nervously fidgeted with her paper clip holder. "Do I may you nervous?"

She looked up at him, exasperated that he would ask such a thing. "I have no idea what you are talking about. I have to get home to my sister."

Pete reached down and grabbed both of her hands in his, "Look at me."

She took a deep breath and looked up at him.

"You can't pretend that this isn't happening Addison."

She snorted, "There is no us Pete. I am not interested. I've told you this already."

He shook his head, "I wasn't talking about us," He grinned mischievously, "But I do plan on getting back to that with you." He brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and continued, "You can't pretend like your sister dying isn't eating you up inside. I know from experience that if you don't confront those emotions now, it will almost destroy you later."

She took a deep breath, careful not to let the emotion show in her voice, "I'm fine Pete. I know my sister is dying. I have accepted it and I am just trying to survive these last few weeks with her." She turned and shut off her computer, doing her best to stay composed.

She felt his hands on her shoulder. It wasn't a seductive touch, it was an incredible source of comfort that she had trouble finding lately.

She turned and walked directly into his embrace. She felt the walls around her starting to dissolve and the emotion she had been blocking started to take over. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest, releasing the anguished tears that she held captive for so long. She cried for her sister, for her niece, for the years of hell she had experienced and taken the blame for all this time. She cried for her parents, for Derek, for Mark, for Alex, for the people who had come and gone in her life that she had pushed away or had pushed her away. She cried for the loss she had suffered and the loss she was going to experience soon. These tears were different than the tears she had shed through out her life. These tears were of acceptance for who she was and who she was to become. She was a daughter, a sister, an ex wife, an ex lover, a friend and now she was going to be a mom. The one thing she wanted so badly was going to come with a heavy price. She allowed the tears to flow because the arms that held her understood loss and sacrifice. The arms that held her were a source of comfort because he had experienced the helplessness and devastation. Pete was not trying to seduce her; he was trying to help her through this. He was her friend and maybe someday something more but right now he was volunteering to become her rock. For once in her life, she was not going to push that away.