Chapter 22
Party Ying Yang
At the girl's party
The girl's party just got started. The party was at Sakura's house, she had invited most of the girls In the village hidden in leaves. Currently there was Ino, Temari, Hinata, Tenten, Anko, and Kunerai. Music was playing (some freaky DDR euro techno) , and there was refreshments and such, but no one was doing anything. Sakura knew she needed to kick her party off somehow, and she decided to complain about what all crazy girls complain about.
"So, anyone here having guy problems" asked Sakura cheerfully
That hit it. Sakura hit the bull's eye on the first shot.
"Ugh" said Ino "none of the guys in town like me, it's like I'm invisa…"
"Kakashi won't return my calls!" whined Anko, cutting off Ino "he won't talk to me, he won't notice me, and he won't come back to my place for hot kinky sex!"
Jeez, akward
"Well" said Ino "I think I know why none of the guys like me, it's because….."
At the guy's party
"Ino's a bitch!" yelled Neji at the party "that's why I hate her"
"Uh, Neji, we were talking about the cubs" said Kakashi
"Oh, sorry"
Kimimaru was talking to Haku in the corner. Kimimarus head still hurt from his accident earlier, and he still wondered how Shino took him down.
"uhh, Haku, don't you think a all guys party is a little, umm, French?"
"What do you mean?"
"Seriously, everyone here are teenage guys, don't Yaoi's start out like this?"
"Probably, but out of all the Yaoi's I've read, only two of them started off as all guy parties" said Haku, trailing off again
"Uh, right" said Kimimaru "how many have you read?"
"Lets see" Haku started to count on his fingers, it looked like he was having trouble
"Having problems remembering?" asked Kimi
"No, having problems counting that high. But if I exclude the video game yaoi's, it should be a little over 200"
Kimi was a little shocked. "Who the hell writes those anyway?"
"some really talented Girls on Fanfiction sites" said Haku, giving Kimimaru a thumbs up "they're really talented, they must've taken advanced English or something"
Kimimaru sighed "they've done a horrible thing to mankind"
Gaara sat on the couch, sipping some cola and staring at Lee. Gaara couldn't help but giggle to himself. He knew why Lee had an all guy's party. Hehe, he was being so coy, inviting everyone to this thing. He knew this was his chance to confess to Lee, he knew it. Gaara couldn't help but giggle to himself, which seriously started to creep out Kiba, who was sitting next to him on the couch.
"Hi Kiba" said Gaara "is something wrong"
"Nothing, nothing" said Kiba terrified, wondering if Hell had just frozen over "nothing at all"
Gaara changed his focus back to Lee, who was talking to Neji about something. He needed a plan, he needed to get Lee alone first, but how….
"Hey" Neji said to Lee "I understand your having girl problems"
"Oh, yeah, I kissed Sakura a few days ago, and she doesn't remember now, is she trying to screw with me or something?"
"uh huh, really"
Neji thought to himself, he definitely saw Lee kissing someone, but he could've sworn it was Gaara. He decided not to press that.
"So you kissed her" said Neji, putting an unusually large emphasis on the word 'her', "how was it?"
"Well" said Lee, smiling, doing that funky blush of his "it was amazing, it was everything I expected it to be, It was, wonderus"
Nearby on the couch, Gaara giggled. Hehe, he loved that green wuv muffin, his awesome hair, his never-give-up personality, his really cute…"
At the girl's party
"Buns! Hey Sakura, you never said you had put buns out with the snacks" said Hinata, looking at the snacks.
The girls now were all sitting down in a circle, they were eating ice cream straight from the tub, and complaining about guy problems.
"I don't get Kakashi" moaned Anko, eating Rocky Road
"I don't get Rock Lee" Moaned Sakura, eating Mint chocolate chip
"Uh, I don't get Naruto" whined Hinata, eating Sherbert
"I don't get any of the guys in town" whined Ino, eating banana flavored
"Yum, Ice cream" said Tenten
Sakura sighed "you know, maybe I shouldn't sling Rock Lee along like this and just kiss him"
Suddenly Temari came back from outside.
"Uh, what were you doing Temari?" Asked Hinata
"I sent Shika to go get us some movies"
"Uh, Temari, didn't you put a shock collar on him so he cant escape?"
As soon as Hinata said that, a shocking noise followed by a scream could be heard.
"Opps, I forgot about that"
At the guys party
"You know what I don't get about girls?" asked Rock Lee
Everyone at the guys party were tired of people complaining about girls problems. It took self restraint to not throw something at Lee.
"What?" grumbled Shino
"I have the theory that girls enjoy torturing themselves" said Lee
Everyone was confused at what Lee said.
"Uh, explain" asked Kiba
"Let me say an example, sad movies. When a guy sees a sad movie, he gets depressed and feels miserable afterwords, right?"
"Uh huh" said everyone in unison
"When a girl sees a sad movie, she cries her head off and gets all clingy, and when it's over, she'll say it's the best thing shes ever seen"
"Yeah, you're right, I've seen that happen" said Kakashi
"Holy crap your right, woman enjoy torturing themselves" said Kiba
"And they enjoy torturing Shikamaru" added Kankuro
"Well, your theories wrong" said Haku, standing up "I see sad movies, cry, and I like them, and I'm not a girl"
Everyone there was thinking the exact same thing, but kept their mouths shut.
At the girls party
"Hey, Tenten" Hinata asked "why do we love sad movies again?"
"I dunno, to confuse guys?" Tenten replied
"oh, okay"
The girls had finished Polishing off the ice cream, and they weren't able to get any movies (the errand boy was incapacitated).
Sakura and Ino were playing some DDR game on super deluxe heavy mode, and (NOTE, at this part, the author ran out of ideas and couldn't think of anything to write here, so decided to do a yuri pillow fight scene)
"Pillowfight!" said Tenten, whacking Ino in the back of the head with a pillow.
Ino was off guard when she was hit, and toppled head first into the Tv, effectively destroying it with her bitchy blonde hair. Everyone was shocked at first, but went back to the pillowfight.
(NOTE, The yuri pillowfight scene starts here, but due to the authors morals and lack of talent, didn't put it in)
At the Guys party
Shino was talking to Kakashi and Haku in the corner. They were both asking the same question all Shino fans ask (Author included).
"Shino, how do those bugs get out of your body" asked Kakashi
"I thought we were talking about Halo" said Shino, rather pissed that they brought up a sore subject
"yeah, I've got no idea how, how do you do that?" asked Haku
"magic" Muttered Shino
"Hey yeah, how do you do that?" asked Kankuro, butting in on the conversation
"yeah, tell us" Kakashi said, trying to worm the info out of him
Shino started to back into a corner, he was trapped.
"come on, tell us"
"yeah, we wanna know"
"whats your secret?"
Shino knew that they wouldn't leave him unless they got something. He decided that maybe it was time to tell them.
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you" said Shino, looking like he gave up "the bugs come out of my body by…"
At the girls party
"You know, I heard the guys are having their own party right now, I wonder what theyre doing"
All the girls started to have their own yaoi fantasies in their head. (yaoi thoughts not listed to protect the innocent)
"Hey, I have a crazy idea" suggest Ino "why don't we go over there to see what their doing?"
"No" said Anko "that's just stupid"
"Yeah, Lame" Temari chimed in
"I have an Idea" said Tenten "lets go over there to see what their doing"
"Great Idea!" said Anko "lets go now!"
"Yeah, lets go!" Temari said enthusiastically
All the girls got up and Left, leaving Ino in their wake wondering What the frick was wrong with everyone.
At the guy's party
To disappoint the girls, the guys actually were not doing anything of a yaoi related manner. They were actually watching the movie 'RENT', they were in a contest, to see who could go the farthest into the movie without throwing up. It was about 15 minutes into the movie, and so far, almost everyone had thrown up so far (Rock Lee threw up first). The only people remaining were Gaara and Haku (who seemed to really enjoy the scene with the dancing drag queen). All the other guys there were cleaning up their own puke. Gaara and Haku sat on the couch, watching it like their life depended on it.
"Whoa nelly, Rock Lee, that movie sucked" said Kakashi, who was manning the mop
"Hey, I know, but I needed a movie which I knew would churn some stomaches" said Lee, who was getting some soap "I saw that movie with Gaara once, it was horrible" (When Rock Lee attempted to leave, Gaara bit him)
"Uh, jeez, I shouldn't have had all that jello earlier" said Kankuro, who was turning a nasty shade of green.
"You throw up again and your cleaning it up" said Kakashi, still mopping "hey Lee, your challenge was, interesting, but is there a challenge we can do that doesn't involve watching a movie about AIDS?"
"Uh, good Idea" said Lee, who went over to the TV and Turned it off
"NOOOOOOOO!" shouted Gaara and Haku, who both Leaped up on Lee to wrestle the remote away from him
While the gay sand guy, the girly guy, and the green guy were fighting on the ground, Shino got pissed. This party was going no where, and if things continued down this path, a yaoi wouldn't be to far off. Shino decided to take command.
"Gentlemen" he said, standing up on the table "we need a plan, this party is tanking, its time to take action, were men, and what do we do as men?"
"uhh, burn witches?" suggested Kiba
Kakashi delivered Kiba a blow in the face from the mop handle.
"Thank you" continued Shino "no! We do stupid and irresponsible stuff, and we should do that right now!"
"YEAH!" Shouted the partygoers
"We need to do something that puts one of our lives in danger!"
"YEAH!"
"And we need to do it to Kiba"
"YEA!" shouted the party goers
"YE-wait what?" asked Kiba
Kimimaru, Shino, Kakashi, Kankuro, Haku, and Neji grabbed Kiba and started to march to the roof of the dojo. After they left the room, Shino returned to get Lee and Gaara, who were still wrestling on the ground.
"Uh, guys, were going upstairs to do something stupid and irresponsible now"
"ohh, okay" Lee got up and followed them, leaving Gaara on the ground
Gaara giggled to himself, his hand had done a bit of straying during his 'wrestling with Lee' (ewwwwwwww). This was the best party ever he thought to himself.
At the girl's party
The girls were outside the dojo, trying to find a place to spy in. They had expected it to be like one of their Yaoi fantasies, all guys, no girls, they would then the boys would decide to (censored yaoi thoughts, for the innocent). They were camped out in some bushes, each of the girls had brought a camera with for "precious moments". All of the girls were lying down, each scanning around, looking for a window. They were having no luck (Rock Lee's dojo doesn't have any windows). They were loosing heart, when some noises could be heard from the dojo.
"Hey, do you hear something funny going on up there" whispered Sakura to Tenten
"What do you mean?"
"It's like someones yelling, what is it"
"Hmm, sounds like Kiba" said Temari
"Hey" said Anko, pointing to the roof, "something's happening up on the roof!"
At the boy's party
The guys were on the roof of the dojo, and they had formed the ultimate stupid stunt. They had it all planed out. Kakashi would film the event, Kankuro and Neji would take pictures, and Haku would be the nurse in case something went wrong (which will probably happen), and Kiba would be the stuntman. Kiba had 500 bottle rockets strapped to both legs. Shino was next to him reviewing the plan.
"Okay, Kiba, you know what they're doing, do you know what your doing?"
"Not a clue" said Kiba, rather nervous that he was strapped to explosives
"Once again here's the plan. We will light the fireworks, and you will count to 5, then jump off the roof, half way down, they'll ignite, and if Neji's theory is correct, then you'll fly"
"Uh, that sounds dangerous, are you sure Neji's right?"
"Yeah, Neji's a genius, because he's home schooled"
"Good point, okay, lets do this"
Rock Lee pulled out a match and lit it, he was about to lit the fuse when…
"Wait" interuppeted Haku, stepping next to Lee "what were doing is dangerous, so lets give him a helmet"
"ohh, smart thinking" said Shino "here you go"
Kiba put on his helmet, but to do so, he had to take the moogle off. When Kiba took the moogle off, it started to fly, doing slow circles around Kiba's head.
"Don't worry buddy, you can still do this with me"
"kupo kupo!" the Moogle said, shaking its head, the moogle was the only person there realizing the stupidity of the stunt.
Shino lit the fuse, and everyone took their positions. The moogle flew off the roof into the sky.
"Wait buddy! Don't you wanna do this with me?" he yelled to his furry friend
"Kupo kupo! Kupopopo!" the moogle said as it flew away
"NO! LITTLE BUDDY! DON'T LEAVE ME!" shouted Kiba as he jumped off the roof, trying to grab the moogle.
"NO! KIBA! YOU JUMPED TO SOON!" yelled Haku as Kiba jumped
Kiba hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. He was still on the ground, leaving the people on the roof to assume the worst.
"Oh my god!" yelled Neji "we killed Kiba!"
Suddenly, out of no where, Rock Lee yelled "were Bastards!"
At the girl's party
The girls were watching the whole thing. They were all wondering, how could they be so stupid?
"Jeez, and isn't he on your team" Sakura asked Hinata
Hinata blushed and hid her head "yeah, he is, and he does that a lot"
"They're so stupid" giggled Tenten "if they had done 600 bottle rockets, it would've worked"
All the girls started to stare at Tenten.
"What?"
At the guy's party
All the guys were looking off the roof, wondering if Kiba was alright, and if he would sue.
"Kiba, if your alright, say something" yelled Neji
"Kiba, if you wave your right to sue, say something" added Kimimaru
"I'm fine" yelled Kiba "I guess I'm lucky they didn't go off"
Kiba spoke to soon. The Bottle Rockets started to light, and Kiba started to scream like crazy.
Everyone was looking over the rim, and Gaara saw his opportunity. Lee was leaning over the edge, and Gaara pinched Lee's butt, Lee was so surprised he lost his balance and fell off the roof.
"Oh shit!" yelled Kakashi "that makes two now"
"They're in trouble" said Kankuro "should we help them?"
"uhh" said Shino "I've got a better idea, lets get the hell out of here"
"Good idea" said Kakashi
The guys proceeded to get the hell out of there.
This was my favorite chapter to type. It also was the hardest to write. I could never tell if it was funny to just me, or funny in general. I find it funny because parts of this actually happened to me. I have had that theory on Girls for quite a while, and My GF once forced me to watch RENT (It was similar to what happened to Lee). The part with the fireworks didn't happen, but its something I have planned for the future.
On a side note, I totally wish that I knew how to make Flash Cartoons. Somehow, I think that this would make a great cartoon.
Oh, and the next Chapter is the first appearance of two characters, Tsunade, and (you'll find out later). The second is DEFINETLY NOT SASUKE. To make things clear, I have no intention whatsoever of putting him in this story, or not.
Keep sending those reviews, and until next time...
Kupo kupo kupo kupo kupo kupo kupo kupo kupo kupo kupo Believe it.