Chapter 24

Gaaras second plan

Lee was lying in bed, tired, worried, and jittery. The nurses told him that his arm and Leg actually weren't broken, and that he could go home tomorrow. Things got worse for Lee after that, one of the nurses recognized him from last time he was there and they handcuffed Lee to the bed (so he wouldn't escape to train). It was all so freakin dull in the hospital, and all he could do was sleep. Lee closed his eyes and began to think about Sakura, beautiful, kind Sakura. Lee was hoping she would visit him, but he hadn't seen her the whole time he was there. Lee closed his eyes and figured he shouldn't think about it so much and get some sleep.

When Lee had actually dozed off a bit, someone walked in his room. Lee was out so he didn't hear anything. The person locked the door, and unconnected the phone line in the room. The figure walked up to the sleeping Lee and giggled.

Lee was having a really great dream. He was in his hospital bed, wind was blowing, and above him was Sakura, she was in a sexy nurse's uniform giving him a sponge bath.

"Oh Sakura, this is so nice of you"

"Its all for you, my little wuv muffin" Sakura responded in a rather odd voice

"huh?" Lee said

Lee woke up from his dream and opened his eyes, and looked around. He could feel something funny pressing against him, something moist. Someone was defiantly sponging him down, that was for sure. Lee still had some sleep in his eyes, so everything was blurry and he couldn't quite make out who. The person was wearing a sexy nurses uniform and everything. It was an incredibly hot scene, and to top it off, Lee noticed the the nurses hair was slighty redish color, it must be Sakuras pink hair Lee thought.

"Hey Sakura, you are an absolute pleasure to look at" Lee said, absolutely positive it was Sakura

The girl wearing the sexy uniform slowly leaned forward and kissed Lee on the lips. Lee eyes water that way he does when he gets happy, and he blushed. They kissed for about a half minute and pulled away. Lee looked into the eyes of the girl he loved, knowing full well he loved her. Unfortunately, Lee got a nasty shock. The person he kissed was not Sakura, or even a girl for that matter. It was Gaara. Gaara, was in Lees room, in a sexy nurses outfit, giving him a sponge bath, and frenching him. Lee was in totally shock, was he asleep? No, he defiantly was awake, what the heck was going on? Lees eye began to twitch uncontrollably and a look of terror started to grow across his face. He started to shake uncontrollably and studder, with absolute horror sinking in. Gaara was completely unaware of this horror, he just smiled, giggled, and went in for another kiss. Lee started to scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA(stopped to get some air)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA(stopped to get more air) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

At the Nearby mall, Tenten and Hinata were buying some flowers to give to the sick ninjas (Tenten was also buying dirty magazines). Hinata was going through the flowers trying to decide which ones Naruto would like best. Tenten was busy reading a Yaoi/Yuri story of Inuyasha, when all of a sudden; her head tilted to the side, and she got up like she heard something.

"What's wrong Tenten" asked Hinata, looking up from the flowers

"I sense….. something……its very…." She said, putting her hand to her ear as if to hear something "Lees in trouble, possibly, a problem that involves Yaoi, a sexy nurse, and handcuffs"

"Uh, Tenten, what's Yaoi?" Hinata said, completely clueless as to what Tenten was talking about.

Tenten was giggling and grabbing her stuff. She had a look on her eyes like they had to move, and fast.

"No Time to explain, we need to go to the hospital, and being a video camera too"

Outside the hospital, Jiraya was sitting on a park bench with ice packs around his neck. It had been a horrible day for him, he had spent 4 hours waiting for the friggin doctor, learned that the dumbass fox kid suffered from a foreign disease, and when he tried to gain some profit from it all by gathering intelligence, he was strangled. Sigh, it was not a good day for him. He pulled out his radio to contact his protégée.

"Grasshopper perv, Grasshopper perv, this is frog perv, do you read me? Over."

A static noise went over the radio, and then a voice came out.

"Roger, this is Grasshopper perv, Frog perv, what is your status? Over"

"I am slightly injured, it will heal, I must ask you to meet me in front of the hospital, I have a top secret mission for you, over"

"Gotcha Frog Perv, I actually am heading over there right now, following my target, over"

Jiraya reasoned when he meant 'target', he meant his cousin. Jiraya shuddered, even as big of a perv he was, even he didn't really like that. Cousin loving was for hicks, Inbreds, and the French. But, he he thought to himself, Neji was growing up to be a splendid Perv.

Suddenly, Jiraya saw the nudist girl running up to the hospital, followed by the quiet chick. The Nudie girl was holding a video camera, screaming "dirty bad Yaoi fun!" as she ran into the hospital. Shortly after they ran in, Neji appeared behind them.

"Ero-senin, what is it?" asked Neji, cold as ice "You better have a good reason for interrupting my intel gathering"

"Well, hehe, the thing is" Started Jiraya, not quite sure how to tell him

"What?"

"You see, the other day at the party, when I got caught, I had to bribe my way out"

"Yeah, you mentioned that, who was it that caught you?"

"Creepy sand Kid"

"Crud, so he took the bribe idea?"

"Yeah"

"What did you bribe him with?"

"Well, you see, that's why I need you"

"What?"

"You see, he wanted, some, how do I say this" Jiraya stumbled for words "you need to take some nudie pictures of Lee so Sand kid wont rat us out"

To say the least, Neji was shocked

"uh, ero-senin, what?"

"seriously, kid, your our only hope"

Neji cursed to himself, How could his teacher get caught? He hated the Idea but knew he was the best person for the job

"where is he now?"

Suddenly, there was a smashing noise from the front entrance of the hospital, the force of it was so strong that Neji and Jiraya were knocked to the ground.

Neji got to his knees and looked at the entrance, what the hell was that?

Out of the huge hole that was created in the entrance of the hospital, Ran Lee, in a hospital gown, handcuffed to a hospital bed running away, screaming, and waving his free arm like a maniac "AAAAAAAAA! SAND SEX! AAAAAA! RED HAIR! AAAAAA! SAND SPONGE BATH!"

This was the weirdest thing that Neji ever saw. Then, things got worse. A wave of sand, carrying Gaara, came crashing out of the freshly made hole in the wall. The sand chased right after Lee, with Gaara yelling "COME BACK TO ME! COME BACK WUV MUFFIN!"

Neji stood there in total shock, his jaw dropped. Jiraya got up, and dusted himself off.

"I need to quit drinking" Jiraya muttered to himself

In the next chapter, I will be adding a new character to the mix in my story. I won't tell you who it is, but I will give you some hints, 1) This mystery person is NOT from Naruto 2) This person is mentioned on my list on my profile.

Nextly, Someone asked me a question about what kinds of stuff Tenten is into. While I would tell you, the problem is, this fanfic is only rated T, I could'nt tell you without getting in trouble or having to move it to a M rating. I will say this though, Its a veryyyyyyyyyyy long list.

Whoo! I'm almost up to 100 reviews! Maybe I'll win a Pulitzer or something. Thank you for all your reviews.

Until next time, Kupo kupopo! (translation, Believe itpo!)