Alrighty, I have updated!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!! Finally, ay dios mios! You know, I don't really like my Spanish class either. I don't like talking and we had to talk for fifteen minutes . . . icky! Comparatively not so bad, but I like to complain, it's what I do . . . sad as that is. Oh! But I did talk about Harry Potter, which I do not own in any way shape or form by the way, so it's not so bad. Just a brief mentioning, we had to talk about what we did over break, oooh come back winter vacation! All is forgiven! Sorry, I know none of you are interested in my ravings and problems.

On another note, for the last chapter, those of you that reviewed, hem hem, said that Snape was funny, or at the very least was Harry-obsessive. I'm going to try to explain what I meant to convey. Lord knows this is going to be painful, but bear with me, please.

Alright, first off Snape is a paranoid bastard. He is. He's spied for both Voldemort and Dumbledore and he doesn't know who's around the corner . . . well alright he might, but it's just an expression. Before all else, Snape is a Slytherin and he's looking out for number one.

Now, what, or more to the point, who, could most affect Snape's precarious position? Harry Potter. Not only does Harry know Snape is a spy, Harry is also worthless at Occlumency. Sorry Harry dear, but its true. Well okay, not completely worthless, but unless extremely angry, Harry is open to pretty much any attack, especially, as proven, when asleep. There is a chance somebody, my bets on Voldemort, could sneak in and search around Harry's mind for any given piece of information and come across Snape's position. And please remember, I do not include Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, because not only do I not particularly like it, it also makes my fanfics, first drafted after HP numero cinco, moot.

Also, who has the most influence on both Voldemort and Dumbledore? Harry Potter. If Harry wanders outside of Hogwarts, what happens? Voldemort, Dumbledore, or both show up. If Harry is in danger, it puts Snape under scrutiny. Harry is captured, Dumbledore's gonna wanna know why Snape isn't helping out. If Snape helps Dumbledore out, Voldemort's gonna suspect underhanded sorts of plots. Snape's well being rests partially on Harry's well being.

And then, there's the still lingering influence of James Potter. On the one hand, Snape still has a bit of a life-debt, so its like, "Bugger, I've still gotta watch after that damn brat or I'm a lowly worm." And at the same time, "Bugger, its Potter's kid. Miserable boy, maybe I can get him kicked out." So, if Snape follows Harry around, not only does he get a chance to fulfill that nagging life-debt, it also gives him a chance to get Harry in trouble.

That, and Snape hates secrets that aren't his. He knows Harry's hiding something, he's sure of it and he can't stand not knowing.

Tah-dah! How'd I do?

Right then, moving on. If you have any points to make, feel free to review; say something! Please! REVIEW!

Chapter 3 My Mother Was A Feminist

. . . He threw me down on a chair, on a really, really, quite hard chair. He then paced; back and forth. Back and forth. His steps clicked on the stone floor. His robe billowed out behind him and the torches on the wall cast a long shadow. I soon grew dizzy from watching the hypnotizing swirl of black cloth.

At a point in his pacing, he paused, turned his head to the side, and glared at me with loathing as well as something not quite decipherable. Cnfusion maybe?

He threw a word at me, "Explain."

"Explain what exactly? Do you mean how I exist? Or how I was born? Perhaps the mystery of life, sir?"

"Potter, you know very well what I mean."

"Well Professor, you see, when two people, Lily and James Potter in this case, happen to love each other very much—"

"Silence! Stop evading the question. Why have you been masquerading as a boy for all six years you have been here?"

By this time Snape was furious, his nostrils flared and his pale cheeks had two high pinkish spots of rage. His black eyes bore down on me and every word was accompanied by spit. He was a damn terrifying sight.

"Because my mother was a feminist."

"Potter!" Snape slammed his hands on the arms of the chair. "You don't seem to appreciate the gravity of this situation."

"Oh no professor. I appreciate gravity just fine. It's what's holding me down on planet Earth after all."

"I tire of your impertinence, whelp," he crossed the room to his desk and pulled out a stoppered vial. It held a colorless potion. "Do you know what this is, Potter?"

Certainly not vodka; that was too much to ask for from Old Snivellus.

"Wait, haven't we already been through this? I'm getting an odd sense if de ja vu." That really blew his top.

He dangled the vial in front of my face. "Do not tempt me, Potter. I'm sure many a reporter would love to hear all about your darkest desires and most private nightmares."

"Tell me sir, did you ever stalk my mother? You seem the type." Wrong thing to say. Snape looked even more murderous than before, I certainly didn't think it possible.

He then popped open the stopper and grabbed my face, tilted my head back and held the vile over my mouth, when my knight in shining armor appeared. Well, not really.

There was a loud clatter. We both looked over.

"Aw, shite." It was Draco and a bottle of . . . fire whiskey? Why was he here. . . and drinking? The dumbass.

"Mr. Malfoy," Snape was murderous and confused, more so than before . . . great.

"Yes sir?"

"What in Slytherin's name are you doing here, boy?!"

"Saving Harry, of course. I'd've thought for sure this would be the time you remembered something from before. After all, this is only the fifth time this quarter I've had to save her unlucky arse from your dastardly clutches."

"Yes, yes Draco, I get the point." I couldn't help it. "You know, I think we've really addled his brain. It's taking longer and longer for him to figure it out. Soon enough there won't be enough to fit in a potion's vial."

"What, we shouldn't obliviate him this time?"

I looked at him.

"You want to tell him the whole story?! You're insane Harry! Absolutely, completely, bloody insane! A bloody, stupid Gryffindor. Remind me, why do I put up with you?"

"'Cause I'm a babe magnet?"

He gave me an appraising look, "Psh, you wish."

"No, that's your wish. Sorry Draco, it's just; I'm tired of re-doing this every time. I mean, I know he's," I motioned in Snape's direction . . . "wait, where's Snape?"

"No, Ms. Potter, do go on," he said and his fingers dug into my shoulder.

"Stupefy!" Snape fell to the ground in an undignified flump.

"Draco!" I glared at him. Why did you do that? When he wakes up he'll be furious." I tried getting my point across. I don't think the random hand gesture helped much.

Draco raised his eyebrow in typical Malfoy fashion, "Well, Potter as you couldn't seem to get it together and he was about to truth serum us both, it was the best option. Besides he won't take points off me."

I resisted the urge to smack my forehead on the floor. No, I let Draco have the privilege.

"Bitch! What was that for!?"

"Draco, dear, shut up! I've got an idea."

"Oh, now she has an idea."

"Shut up!"

So, you know, review, please! Oh, and if any one is thinking something along the lines of, "OMG! That's like, so not fair, it's like, February already!" Please know, I started this back in . . . um, maybe a week after winter break. And I'm sixteen now! Young ain't I. So, you know, anyone wants to give a birthday gift, you could review . . . or perhaps go to the top of this page, find where its says Kelpie Green, click it, and read my other stories, and review those. I'd be completely gracious and all that. Plus, if you do, it'll give me more incentive to update more often! So yah! REVIEW! . . . And if I need to stop with the rhetorical questions, don't not tell me.