Chapter 26
Who wants to play play?
At the auditorium, the students were sitting in the seats, and Kakashi was onstage.
"OKAY OKAY! I know you have questions about the play I've chosen"
Everyone settled down. No one knew what the play was about, and everyone was hoping it'd be their favorite play.
"come on, please let It be the music man" thought Lee
"please, let it be my fair lady" thought Hinata
"comeeeeee on Les Miserables" thought Temari
"hmm, Phantom of the opera might be cool" thought Shino, surrounded by his hunnies
"come on, something with boobies" thought Zelos
In the front row, Haku and Gaara had their fingers crossed, saying "please be RENT, please be RENT, Please be RENT…"
"I have chosen the play………….. 'Final Fantasy"
Everyone was shocked.
"isn't that a video game?" asked Kimi
"yeah, the greatest video game series ever!"
"whats a video game?" asked Kankuro "is it like a VHS thing?"
"uh no, and sensei, which one is it? Didn't they make, like, a billion of them?" asked Sakura
"all of them, it's a huge compilation of all of the series, turned into one big happy musical, and Sakura, they've only made up to XI, XII will come out soon, but those morons over at Square hasn't releashed it here yet (October 31st, in case you care)"
The nins sat about, wondering what Kakashi was smoking.
"uh, so" asked Zelos "who gets what part?"
Kakashi pulled out a hat "pull one out"
"this in going to end badly" muttered Zelos to himself, grabbing a slip of paper from the hat
It was nighttime, the nins were already prepared and have learned their lines. All of them were backstage, and waiting for the play to start. On the other side of the stage, was the auditorium, it was huge, and could easily sit a thousand people, and seats were starting to fill up fast. Everyone wanted to see the copy ninja turn a videogame into a music. Everyone, and I mean everyone….
In the 3rd row, 2 nins In particular were looking for seats….
"hey, Orchi, wanna sit here" asked the first nin
"why, yes, Sasuke I would"
They sat down, right next to the ninja hooked up to a life support system.
"Hiiiii, who are you?" asked the terminally ill ninja "didn't you leave the village or something?"
"well, yes I did" responded Sasuke "me and Orchimaru are here to see the play"
"uh huhhhhhh, that'ssss niceeeee" said Hayate, struggling to breathe "its niceeeee to seeee other alllllternate cough, lifestyle people in the villare"
"that's right" said Orchi in his really creepy voice, putting his hand on Sasukes knee, he looked into Sasukes eyes, and his tongue snaked slightly out his mouth "hey Sasuke, you wanna do some make out paradise?"
"for the 800th time, NO! I'M NOT GAY!"
"are you sure?"
"YEAH! I AM!"
"really?"
"YES!"
Orchi looked disappointed. He took his hand off Sasukes and sat up and started to leave.
"Where are you going sensei?" asked Sasuke
"Oh, I'm just going to look for someone for a forbidden Jutsu, I'll be right back" Sasuke hoped he was talking about Ninjutsu. And not that forbidden Jutsu like between Hinata and Neji.
After Orchi left, Sasuke began to look through the program.
KONAHA THEATER PRESENTS….
FINAL FANTASY, THE MUSICAL
Directed by, Kakashi
Music by, the sound Four
Narrated by Neji
ACTORS
Naruto as Tidus (FFX)
Sakura as Tifa (FFVII)
Rock Lee as Sabin (FFVI)
Tenten as Rikku (FFX)
Kiba as Red XIII (FFVII)
Hinata as Yuna (FFX)
Shino as Auron (FFX)
Shikamaru as Zell (FFVIII)
Ino as Elena (FFVII)
Choji as Rude (FFVII)
Gaara as Vivi (FFIX)
Temari as Celes (FFVI)
Kankuro as Seifer (FFVIII)
Mog as The Moogle King
Anko as Yuffie (FFVII)
Zelos as Reno (FFVII)
Kimimaru as Kuja (FFIX)
Haku as Paine (FFX-2)
Jiraya as Baku (FFIX)
As Sasuke read the program, one thought went through his mind, its going to be a long night.
(Meanwhile Backstage….)
Kakashi was directing the Techies about the stage and what needed to be done. It was slow going, there had been an unfortunate accident earlier (Choji had eaten some of the set) and they needed to fix it.
Kakashi was sitting down, muttering to himself, when suddenly, he was approached.
"uh, excuse me, sensei?"
Kakashi looked up to find a spandex wearing muscle head.
"Hello Sabin, how may I help you?"
"Well, Firstly Sensei, my name is Lee, and I have a couple questions about your script…"
"well Sabin, The script is flawless, I based it off the whole series, what could be wrong?"
"Well, the first thing is, the play is based off the Final Fantasy series, it's a good series, but…"
"What's the problem?"
"Isn't this play a little esoteric?"
Kakashi thought to himself for a second. Esoteric, what did that mean? He decided to bluff his way through this one.
"Final Fantasy isn't a food, Sabin Lee"
Lee sighed, this guy was seriously loosing it. Lee started to walk away, he needed to get dressed for his part. As soon as he left, a red head in a black Mages outfit approached Kakashi next.
"Hey, one eyed dumbass, I have a complaint about the script" said Vivi Gaara
"what? Why does no one like my script? Whats wrong now?"
"Theres no love scene in here between Vivi (played by Gaara) and Sabin (played by Lee)"
Kakashi wondered what was going through the little red heads mind.
"uh, theyre two totally different characters, It wouldn't work"
"Just re-write it, all it should have is a kiss"
"No"
"Why the hell not? I think that it would be awesome"
"well, you see, no ones ever written Yaoi for Final Fantasy, ever, and I mean it"
Gaara tilted his head sideways slightly
"Uh, they actually have made Y-"
"And…" Continued Kakashi, cutting off Gaara "Sabin and Vivi are too different to make a good couple, it wouldn't work out"
"but…"
"and besides, if I did that, you'd have to kiss Lee, and I know your not gay, so I wouldn't force you to go through something like that.
Wow, looks like Kakashi has gotten so much into Final fantasy, he's lost track of the yaoi side story.
Kakashi got up and walked away, leaving Gaara by himself. God he was pissed off. Gaaras sand started to swarm around him in his rage. He was going to get another kiss from his love muffin no matter what. He started to think perverted little thoughts in his freaky red head, looking for the perfect plan. Suddenly, Gaara thought of an idea. He giggled to himself and left to concoct his plan.
In one of the changing rooms, Shika and Temari were getting dressed for their parts. Shika was happy for the first time in days, Temari had finally let him take off the collar for the play, and he was ecstatic about it. So much he actually did some skipping, but lost his breathe after 2 steps.
"Now remember Shika" Temari said as she was putting Zells face tattoo on Shika "I know you cheated on me with that whore, and this is only temporary"
Shika cringed
"I didn't cheat on you, you know I love you Temari, why don't you believe me?"
"cause your lying, that's why" said Temari "you should be thankful I gave you a low voltage collar"
Shika opened his mouth to argue, but there was a knock at the door. Shika walked over to see what it was. He opened it to find his girlfriends creepy little bro Gaara.
"what do you want shortstop?"
"theres been a script re-write and the director wants you to learn the new lines" Gaara said, giving Shika a paper from a stack
"uh thanks then"
Shika Closed the door and started to look over the script.
"whats been changed?" asked Temari looking over Shikas shoulder
"not much, but firstly, it says that Orchimaru is in the play, and now theres a sex scene between Sabin and Vivi"
"wow" said Temari "this just keeps getting better, this play is going to have the first Yaoi Final Fantasy scene ever!"
"uhh, never mind" muttered Shika
Neji was out in the Hallway, sullenly going about his mission assignment. He figured now would be the best chance to get those pictures of Lee, and he better move fast. As he was walking down the hall, he noticed that Zelos was kneeling outside a door, looking into the key hole and snickering.
"What are you doing you Ass?" Asked Neji in that blunt manner of his
"I'm spying on Hinata and Tenten, I heard from the moogle guy that theyre a Lesbian couple" Zelos said, not even looking up
Hmm, Tenten and Hinata thought Neji to himself, it sounded pretty hot. It was going through Nejis mind, Tenten and his cousin in a changing room, kissing and (Yuri talk, censored for the innocent). Neji started to drool and nosebleed at the same time. He skipped over to where Zelos was kneeling and started to try to push him out of the way.
"I wanna see"
"I got here first God damn it!"
"let me see you prick"
"bite me you Jack ass"
Zelos and Neji started to fight on the ground. Both Pervs trying to beat the other one senseless. After a bit of punching they started to wrestle while rolling around. As they were fighting, Orchimaru walked out of his dressing room near by. He saw the two boys fighting and started to fan himself.
"ohh, two young boys wrestling, it must be my birthday"
A little while later, the theater was a full house, and the lights suddenly were dimmed. The crowd went silent. Kakashi walked onstage, a spotlight focused on him as the audience clapped.
"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Everyone" Kakashi said bowing low "Thank you for coming out here! Tonight, I present to you the musical of the greatest thing ever, the master piece series of Square Enix, Final Fantasy"
Kakashi walked offstage and the curtains opened, The Play was starting!
Thats right, its a pretty big event. SASUKE HAS FINALLY APPEARED!
I know I said I wasnt going to put it in, I know I said I hated him, but alas, hes in. The reason I put him in is (WARNING! REALLY BORING STORY) when I was reading the Manga (about a year ago), there was a brief period where i thought he was cool. that lasted until I saw other, cooler characters, like Shino and Lee. He really started to lose his coolness, when he got his ass handed to him by a cry baby. And later, When i learned of how deep he would sink to get his revenge aganist his Brother, I really lost my respect for him. (WARNING OVER)
As for the characters and thier roles in the play, i think that i did a pretty good job choosing them. As i mentioned, Shino is the son of Auron (in theory). And they both have something in common. Neither one of them has ever starred in a yaoi. Ever. And i mean it. Seriously, no fan girl would ever put them in a yaoi, I hope...
The only character which is mismatched is Choji, who shouldve gotten the role of Quina. Seriously, they're both pigs. The thing is, I hate Quina, she was the worst part of FFIX.
Anyway, until next time, kupo kupo kupopopo! (translation, I love Oreos)