Chapter 29

Hospital stay, AGAIN

It was the day after the ill fated performance at the theater. The thing was the biggest flop ever in the history of Konoha (well duh). Not only did the play blow chunks, it also destroyed the theater beyond repair. To make matters worse, some of the nins were injured (Kiba, Rock Lee, Naruto, Kakashi). So once again, our fair story goes back to the hospital…

In Rock Lee's room, he was once again Handcuffed to the bed, and since they hadn't repaired the damage from the last time he was there, they also bolted his bed to the ground (they really don't want another repeat of all the other times). It was bad for Rock Lee, due to the last time he was hospitalized, he had developed a fear of nurses (can you really blame him?) and he wouldn't allow any of the hospital staff to get close to him.

"Listen you little SOB" Tsunade said, trying to approach Lee "I'm not a nurse, and I'm here to help you"

"NO! LIES! I know your Gaara! REVEAL YOURSELF!" He Yelled as he threw his bedpan at her

Tsunade dodged the bedpan and sighed, she needed a smoke real bad, and she couldn't have one until she finished with this patient.

"Little Bastards cutting into my cig time" she thought to herself "Time to take things up a notch"

She had thought up a plan of action, not exactly the nicest way to do things, but fast. Tsuande walked up to Lee. Lee tried to use his free hand to punch her. She dodged and went into her demi god form. Using all her strength, she punched Rock Lee right on his Leg wound. Needless to say, this took Rock Lee down.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Rock Lee screamed, Clutching his leg with his free hand

"Quit whining" said Tsunade, looking over his chart, being completely indifferent to the pain she had just caused "thanks to you, our hospital has to get a new front door"

It had been a while since Sasuke had been in Konoha, and he had to admit, things had changed. During the show, Orchimaru had been selected to play Seymour Guado from FFX, they even gave him a costume and everything. Unforunately for Sasuke, Orchi had wandered off in the costume, to found his own corrupt religion (Yevon, again…). Sasuke shrugged to himself, Orchimaru would probably come back eventually, but until then, Sasuke had to find something to do.

During his newfound free time, Sasuke had made a list of things that had changed in his absence, have a peek.

1) Naruto had seemed to have become even more retarded

2) Choji has become a ripoff of a FullMetal Alchemist Character

3) Ino had become bitchier

4) A dog had become a medic ninja, a freakin dog!

5) Konoha was going through a moogle obsession

6) That there are WAYYYY to many Naruto Fanfics

7) Everyone in town asked him if he saw RENT

8) Everyone in town keeps giggling behind his back

Sasuke sighed, things had defiantly gotten weird. For some reason, Haku was still alive, even though he could've swore that Kakashi had run him through. And for some reason, Kimimaru also was alive, and not tailing Orchimaru. He also didn't see Season 5 of 24 when he was gone, back at Orchimarus place, they didn't own a tv. When Sasuke first got one for them, Orchi had used It for a forbidden jutsu. Orchimarus place didn't even have a freakin phone. Orchi hated phones because every time he tried using one, he heard a voice coming out of the phone. Sasuke sighed, how could such an powerful ninja be so freakin stupid at the same time?

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, the staff was having problems with another patient. One of the nins that had been in the play had suffered from a mental breakdown, and had passed out. When he awoke, for a strange reason, he couldn't speak English. The doctors were having a hard time figuring out what he was saying.

"Estoy Hablando Espanol! Creelo!" said Naruto, annoyed at the doctors

"it could be French" said one of the medic nins

"nah, it has to be german"

"Estoy Hablando Espanol! Creelo!" Naruto said again

"sounds like Korean" said Sakura, looking at Naruto, trying to reason with what he was saying

"nah" said Kakashi, dismissing what Sakura said "its obviously Finnish"

"Estoy Hablando Espanol! Creelo!" said Naruto, visibly getting pissed off

"I know what it is!" said Jiraya, catching everyones attention "Its obvious that Naruto here" he said, walking up to him and putting his hand on his shoulder "is speaking Italian!"

Sasuke had stopped by Mr. Ramen's shop to get a cup-o-noodles for himself. He sat outside of the shop, eating the noodles, and wondering to himself if Itachi could be near. Suddenly, something hit Sasuke from behind, almost causing him to throw the boiling hot noodle cup up in the air.

"THERE YOU ARE SHIKA! PREPARE TO BE LEASHED"

Sasuke turned around to find Temari, holding up a rather freaky dog collar, with a look of insane anger in her eyes.

"Shit, your not him" she said, calming down "have you seen my boyfriend? He snuck out after the play and I didn't get a chance to put his collar back on"

"uh, no, I didn't" replied Sasuke, relieved that she was going to kill him, but wondering what the hell the dog collar was for "uhh, Temari, about the collar, do you and Shika have some kind of freaky sex life or something?"

"No you perv, he cheated on me with the weapon hor, and now and I can't let him out of my sight"

Disturbing…..

"so, you've got Shika whipped like a dog?"

"you know it"

Wow, Sasuke shook his head. There was nothing sadder to him when a guys GF openly admits she has her boyfriend whipped.

"well in any case, you don't seem to be doing a good job at that" Sasuke replied sarcastically

"are you insulting me"

At this point, Sasuke made a tactical error. He had spent so much time away from Konoha, he forgot what a raving bitch Temari could be.

"yes, I am" he replied

"oh, you son of a bitch, I'll get you for that!" Temari said, with a look of bloodlust in her eyes" she jumped over the table and started to move in to attack Sasuke.

Sasuke backed up, trying to get out of her reach, shit, she was freakin crazy, he needed an escape, but how?

"how dare you insult me you fruity ninja! I'll kil… AAAAAA!"

Using his ninja instincts, and the first thing that came to his mind, Sasuke threw the boiling contents of the ramen cup into Temaris face. Needless to say, that's gotta hurt.

"AAAAAAAAAAAA!" Temari began to scream, running around, trying to get it off

Being the crafty Ninja Sasuke is, he used this opportunity to escape, leaving Temari to deal with her 1st degree burns.

Nearby, Zelos was surrounded by his usual horde of hunnies, all fawning over him. He heard Temaris screaming and turned around, to see her off in the distance, soaking wet, running around, and screaming.

"hey, a wet T-shirt contest!"

The realationship between Shikamaru and Temari in this fanfic is partially based off of the relasionship between me and my GF. Seriously, I have alot in common with Shika. Both our GF's have us whipped, and they also scare the crap out of us. Its pretty sad, how much i've become like Shika (lazy-ish). It just ticks me off when my GF keeps bringing it up though all the time, seriously, thats annoying. Oh crap, I hope shes not reading this now...I'm screwed

Anyway, the Fanfic for the fans chapter is not going to be for a while, I wanna give more people time before the winners are chosen. Secondly, looking at the votes that have been casted so far, I've gotta say, anyone who voted for Shikamaru or Shino, you earn a gold star. To those who voted for hinata or Neji, I had no idea incest jokes were so funny. Oh, and to those who voted for Kanky, couldja explain to me his unnatural obsession with makeup?

In the next chapter, It'll be the 30th chapter, and it will feature a special something, the "Don't believe it, reject corner". Find out which characters from Naruto werent cool enough to make it into this sub-par fanfic!

remember to keep sending votes for your favorite characters!

And until next time, Believe it!