Chapter 30
Akasuki again
Hmm, we haven't seen much of akasuki recently, lets see what their up to…..
It was at Akasuki manor, in the middle of the night. They were holding an emergency meeting to talk about future membership of a Akasuki wannabe, Tobi. They were in the super special meeting room, with the tall funny looking chairs that Organization XIII uses, you know, the white chairs that are 30 ft tall, that look really really silly. They were all arguing with each other about what to do. Each member had different views on the issue. Some wanted to kill the punk, others just wanted to badly cripple him.
"I think that the little punk needs to scram" said Kisame, in chair IV "He's a huge waste of space"
"Nahh, you should give him a chance" said Itachi, in chair VII "you guys gave me a chance, and I'm friggen blind"
"Dude, Itachi, get rid of that damn gun!" yelled Deidra
"NO!" he responded, clutching the gun "its my, my, precious….."
"well, I do agree we need a new member" Zetsu suggested "But can we get a chick? Seriously, even the TURKS had a chick"
"Not that crap again" Kisame whined "the author already touched on that in Chapter 17…"
Everyone had no idea what Kisame was talking about. They assumed that he was drunk again.
"Anyway" Sasori said "I say we just kill the bastard, or I can turn him into a puppet"
"No, don't kill him, I might need a sidekick for when I become a blind cop, like that TV show."
"Uh, Itachi, sorry to burst your bubble, but that show got canceled" said Kisame
"What! NOOOOO!" he yelled
Everyone started to bicker with each other, but was interrupted by da boss.
"SILENCE" said the Leader, Unlike the other Akasuki members, he had a censor mark over his face so you couldn't see who he was (the author had no idea what he looked like, so this was the best he could do) "We do not need a new member for Akasuki, we are still trying to kill Orchimaru for betraying us and Deidra"
Ahh, yes, the breakup, Deidra dated Orchimaru for a while, their relationship got serious and Deidra helped Orchimaru get in Akasuki. As soon as Orchi got what he wanted, he ran off with Kabuto, leaving Deidra heartbroken. Deidra spent the weekend crying in his room, eating ice cream and listening to Rascal flats. Obviously, Boss remembered that he just brought up a sore subject.
"Okayyyy" he said, trying to change the subject "I've got an idea on how to get rid of him, lets say that to join, he has to go through a series of tasks assigned to us that are impossible to do, that'll get rid of him"
Everyone agreed to this idea, it was the best way to get rid of the little bastard.
"Everyone think of a task and write it down, if he asks why, we'll say its hazing"
"wait a second, hold it" said Zetsu "if you want everyone from Akasuki to vote, shouldn't we wait for kakuzu and Hidan? They're in Akasuki too"
"they are, yes, but to be quite honest, I hate those bastards" he responded
"are you still upset that Hidan didn't invite you to his birthday party?"
"yes!" the leader said, acting indignant "the party had everything! Ice cream, karaoke, pony rides, a moon bounce, and he didn't invite me!"
Wow, who would've thought that the leader of a league of ultimate assassins could be such a wuss.
(Teh next day)
Haku was sitting on a park bench listening to the soundtrack to RENT, when an Orange masked Ninja walked by him.
"why good afternoon Mr. Tobi!" He said in his usual cheery mood "what are you doing on this fine day?"
Tobi just sighed and sat down next to him "I'm having a rough day"
"Oh, I see, well, what can I do to help you?"
"Nothing" he said Gloomily, walking away
As he walked away, Haku put his head phones on and continued listening. Suddenly, Tobi came running back, waving something in the air.
"Hey, wait, Little Fruity kid! There is something you can help me with!"
"Oh, okay, well, what is it?" Said Haku, putting down the CD player
"You see, I want to join Akasuki, but they've got this hazing ritual, where the prospective member has to do tasks assigned by existing memebers"
"Uh huh"
"So look at this list that they gave me"
Tobi handed over the piece of Paper to Haku. It was a long scroll, with a bunch of tasks assigned to him.
The first Item on the list was from Deidra, in neat, small handwriting.
1) Find if there's a connection between Sergeant Pepper from the song, and Dr Pepper, the drink
"wow, I never even thought about that" said Haku
"well, yeah, and it gets worse"
The next item was by Kisame, in coarse rough handwriting.
2) Find Mr. Goodbar
"man, that's cruel"
"I Know, it is…"
The next was Zetsu, in wavy handwriting
3) Make a remake of The lord of the rings, with Moogles as the good guys, and Squirrels as Orcs
"hehe, you know, I'd like to see that"
"easy for you to say, I need to put that together"
"well, alright, whats the next one?"
"read on"
The next one was Itachi, in barely readable handwriting (he is blind after all)
4) Get the next Final Fantasy game, and reprogram it so all characters are moogles
"is it just me, or does Konoha have some kind of obsession with Moogles?"
"I don't know" responded Tobi, shaking his head "must be something were overlooking, anyway, the next one is even worse than that one"
The next was Sasori, with the cruelest task yet on the list
5) Go on a date with Ino, and find out why everyone hates her
"Oooooooooooooo" said Haku, whincing
"yeah, theyre purposely trying to oust me, the last one is proof"
"Is the last one that bad?"
"Ohhhhh yeah, seriously, its awful, its like Mission Impossible times ten"
Haku gulped and looked at the final one. It was written by the Akasuki Leader, in very formal handwriting.
6) get an advance copy of the next Harry Potter book
Upon reading this, Haku almost fell over.
"That is the cruelest thing I've seen before in my life"
"I Know, its undeniable proof that they don't want me to join"
"you poor poor person" said Haku, putting his hand on Tobis shoulder "what are you going to do?"
"I don't know, I just don't know, this is impossible" Tobi looked pretty darn miserable. Actually, not that miserable cause you couldn't see his face, but his body language spelled miserable. Haku decided to throw him a bone.
"You know what? Its not!" said Haku, standing up "I'm going to help you join akasuki!"
"really? You'll help me?"
"you bet! It'll be like a road trip! This'll be tons of fun"
Tobi cheered up, he was grateful that someone in the village was there to help him.
"Okay! Sounds like fun, lets get going right now"
Tobi got up to hit the road, but Haku stopped him.
"wait, were going to need help on this one, lots of help…."
"what do you mean?" asked Tobi, unsure what Haku meant
Haku stepped onto the bench and then started to make a really weird noise.
"KUPO! KUPO! KUPOPO KU!"
Then he got down, and walked up to Tobi with a smile on his face.
"what the hell was that?" asked Tobi, puzzled at what Haku just did
"wait, for it…."
"but…"
"wait for it……..now"
Suddenly, from the shrubbery, moogles started to appear by the dozens. There were tons of them, all sorts of shapes and colors. All of them were going 'kupo!' at random moments. The scene was so cute that you just wanted to glomp each and everyone of those little guys. Which Haku did. After glomping the last one, he went up to Tobi to explain.
"were going to need all the help we can get, and now" he said, looking down the road "life is a highway, lets get going" and thus, Haku set off, with the group of moogles following, Leaving Tobi behind, wondering if this was a good idea.
Yeah...I know no one probably liked that thing with Deidra and Orchimaru, but its there, and anyway, Thats right, Haku and Tobi, out in the world all by themselves. They're not going to appear in this fanfic for a while, but they will be getting thier own Mini series, as soon as i find the motivation to write it...Be sure to look out for, DONT BELIEVE IT! THE MINI SERIES!
The next chapter is a real special one, its the Halloween special chapter!!! I'm still in the process of writing it, and its probably the longest chapter yet, and maybe even better than the Ying yang Parties... and the next chapter after that is the special fan fic for fans chapter, so a reminder, EVERYONE, CAST YOUR TWO VOTES FOR YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS!!!
Oh, I mentioned this too, the special reject part
Reject 1) Asuma, the cigarette guy, I never really thought of anything to make fun of him with, so he stays in the reject corner
Reject 2) Ebisu, the pervy teacher guy, what a pompous asshole
Reject 3) Konohamaru, who the hell is Konohamaru?
Reject 4) Might/Mighty Guy/Gai, I like this guy, but if I put him in, I'd be a little too inclined to put in some gay jokes with Lee, and we all know that Lee is a little preoccupied with those
Reject 5) Rin/Obito, The guys that Kakashi used to hang out with, they might show up later, maybe, I think...
Wow, that dragged on kinda long, well, WHOO! 30 Chapters!!! Thanks to all 3 people who have read this thing!
And until next time... Believe it!