Disclaimer: I don't own so don't sue

A/N: Saw the fifth movie, so I was inspired to write a bit more…XD. And screw the 7th book. Might borrow some stuff from it, but it really wasn't all that special or relevant to how I'm doing both ES Beginnings and ES

Everlasting Sacrifice Beginnings

Chapter 4: Wings of Hope

Warning: Suicide attempt

Lily Evans

Cat seemed to throw herself into studying her potions homework more than anything. She seemed very interested in every little aspect, and it took her mind away from other things on her mind. After that incident in the library, I could nearly swear that Snape has been spying on her when he gets the chance. I really think he just doesn't know what to make of her.

"Lil, could you help me with this powdered beetle wings?" Cat asked as we worked on a simple concoction in class.

"You don't add those yet," I chided. "We don't want to have it explode…"

"Awww…" Cat replied.

"Hey, pipe down back there," Sirius said.

"Shut up you," Cat hissed. "I can talk if I want. Professor Ray doesn't mind."

I noticed her looking over at Severus, who was by himself and seemed to be struggling with his potion. "Go help him Cat."

"Are you going to be fine doing this by yourself, I think not!" Cat whispered. "He's doing fine…"

"His potion isn't even the right color," I said. "Just try, okay?"

"Feh, fine," she replied. "But only because you're being cute."

I rolled my eyes. "Just go already."

Cat

I approached Sev cautiously and tapped him on the shoulder. "You're doing it wrong you know."

"Go away Forest, I don't want you here," he said. "I can do this on my own."

"Not like that you won't," I said and stopped him from adding another ingredient. "As much as I like making things explode, I don't think you want to do that for your first try at this."

"I heard you, you were going to explode yours," he said.

"I've made this potion before…somewhat," I said.

"Okay then Forest, what am I supposed to do?" he asked.

"Start adding the egg shell first," I instructed and picked up a few pieces. "This should get it to be the right color. I was watching what you did, and I think it can be fixed."

He didn't say anything, just sort of stared and then grabbed his quill and started writing it into his book what I was telling him.

"See?" I asked and stirred it three times clockwise again. "Now it's the right consistency…"

"How did you get so good at potions?" Sev asked. "How did you end up in this class?"

"Its kinda like cooking," I said. "And potions are a vital part of my survival." I wouldn't explain further than that. "This potion is just a bit of fun once in a while. I mean, long hair is fun, but I'd rather just grow mine out naturally."

"Yours is pretty long," he said. Hey, he sounded a little impressed!

"Yours is too, it looks nice long," I said. He was talking to me and not insulting me! Maybe I had finally made some kind of progress!

"You know, I probably could use a little bit more help with potions," he said. "And you are a Slytherin, so it's okay."

"Are you asking me to tutor you?" I asked. "That would make me so happy!!"

"Forget it then, I want nothing to do with you, go away," he said quickly.

"If you're asking for help it obviously means that you need help," I said and leaned down close. "In exchange, could you help me with DADA? I'm not getting some of the charms, hexes and stuff…"

"You're struggling through first year DADA? That's pathetic," he said.

"You're struggling through potions? That's pathetic," I replied bitterly.

"Shut up," he said and looked away.

"What? You're not interested in comebacks?" I asked. "Gee, what a surprise Sev."

"Stop calling me Sev!" he hissed. I could see the anger on his face and at that moment he was not so carefully adding an ingredient…and I watched a part of it fall in that … crap. It exploded. Covered in slime and goop from head to toe the teacher approached us and sent us out to get cleaned up. Lil was laughing at me with her eyes, even though I whispered that I didn't make it explode this time. We had detention too, to be served later that night. I never minded detention; goodness knows I'd probably get it enough while I was here.

"So, had fun exploding that?" I asked as we walked out of the room. Sev was fuming.

"You distracted me and made it explode and you think that was fun?" he asked loudly.

"I didn't distract you; I was trying to help you. And it was fun, I'll admit it, but I wasn't asking if I had fun, I was asking if you had fun," I said.

"Stupid Forest," he growled at me. "If you hadn't done anything…"

"It would have exploded sooner," I said and pulled a piece of candy out of my pocket. "Here, have one of these." I tossed it at him and he caught it. "It should make you feel a little better."

"Candy…how stupid are you?" he exclaimed. I smiled at him and he glared. I heard silence from the classroom; I think everyone was listening in on us.

"It's homemade," I said. "And sugar and candy make everything better."

"You don't know a thing about life do you? Sugar and candy and friends don't make life any better, nothing can! Life sucks and that's about it, when will you grow up and see that it isn't pleasant?" he yelled at me. "It's not a walk in the park and why the heck are you smiling all the time?"

I slapped him straight across the face and heard a few gasps. Obviously we were being watched now too.

"How dare you," I hissed at him. "I KNOW life is not pleasant, I KNOW sugar and candy don't always make everything better, but what happened just now was not the end of the world, a potion exploded, that was it. It happens. I'd like to see how panicked and scared you become when you face real evil in the world. I HAVE! If you think I'm kidding, just spend one summer where I live and you'll see this real life that you're talking about. NEVER insult me like that again." With a glance back to see half the class staring at us with wide eyes, I walked past Snape without another word.

Severus Snape

Seeing her actually mad like that was a little scary. And in her eyes, I did see a deep pain. It seemed to reflect off of that time I saw her in the library sleeping with that nightmare. I honestly didn't know what to make of her now. Detention wasn't going to be fun, never was. And now she was going to be there to.

Cat

"Professor, tell us again why you're having us go in the Forbidden Forest again? Isn't this place very dangerous?" Snape asked as we walked towards a line of trees.

"It is, but for the potions ingredients I need it's the place we need to go," Professor Ray said. "The plant I'm looking for is something only found in this forest. It's kind of like a milkweed plant."

"Oh, you mean the ice blossom?" I asked.

"You know about it Miss Forest?" he asked.

"How the heck do you know about it?" Snape asked.

"I know about it because I do. It looks like the milkweed, as in you usually see it in pods and it leeks a liquid that almost freezes on contact. When it blossoms, which isn't often, it looks like it is made of ice, and could almost shatter as easily," I explained.

"Correct," Professor Ray replied. "You sure do know a lot."

"It's my fore…..it's my specialty," I replied, glancing at Snape cautiously. He didn't know that much about me yet, I didn't know how much I should be telling him about such things. Besides, he didn't even really like me as a friend.

"Come along children," the Professor said and we followed behind him.

"You're weird," Snape hissed. "I think you have issues."

"And?" I whispered back. "Who doesn't have issues? I bet you do, as you're the one who's saying all that crud about not needing friends. Where did you learn that? Because it's certainly not from anything I've heard."

"I learned it from life," he said.

"This is life now, and I'm offering to be your friend, so why don't you think you need friends? You always need friends, someone you can laugh with, someone you can cry with, friends aren't a bad thing. Isn't anyone in Slytherin your friend?" I asked. I saw out of the corner of my eye the Professor smile. It seems he had ulterior motives to bringing us out here. He must want us to talk, which was why he wasn't saying anything.

"You keep saying you are," Sev replied. He looked away and grumbled something that I couldn't quite make out. It was probably a swear or something rude.

"I want to be," I said. "I honestly do. You shook over my sketchbook, so you're my friend." I brought out my sketchbook and flipped through a few pages. "See? This is you, you shook over the sketchbook." I flipped to the next page. "I drew this on the train of you too." It was just a simple sketch of him.

"Do you like drawing that much that you'd draw me?" he asked. "And you didn't even ask for my permission!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd mind, much less care," I said.

"Who else is in there?" he asked. I stepped up a little bit to keep up with the Professor, who was leading us through a bit of fog.

"Well, you, Lil, some friends from home. Not a lot of people here yet," I said. "I'm hoping for more."

"You're weird, you know that, right?" he asked. "Why in the world did you have to find me to be your friend?"

"Everything happens for a reason," I said. "I think there was a reason we met."

"You're stupid," he said and trudged along ahead of me. I bowed my head slightly and hurried to keep up with the two. The forest was waiting after all, and it was my home.

…

After what seemed like an hour later we came to a small break in the trees. Sev looked slightly more frightened the deeper we went into the woods, and he stayed very close to the professor. Me, I just strolled around like I owned the place, just in a not so obvious manner.

"There it is!" the professor exclaimed, pointing to a small grouping of plants just up ahead. We ran forward and saw it was the plant we had come here to find. "Excellent children, excellent. 10 points to Slytherin!"

"This is detention, should we really be getting points?" I asked as we watched him examine the flowers.

"For finding this quickly and successfully? I should say so," he replied. Sev nudged me in the ribs and I glared over at him.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't go questioning the professors on how they chose to delegate points," he said. I glared at him for a moment longer and then rolled my eyes. He must not get points that often or something.

"So, are we friends finally?" I asked after a pause, as we watched the teacher carefully gathering the plants. He told us not to touch them earlier, as collecting them was very precious work. "Are you going to finally accept that?"

"What makes you think I'll ever accept it?" Sev asked angrily. He sneered at me. "I could probably use your friendship against you."

"Yes, you probably could," I said.

"What makes you think I won't?" he asked.

"I can't really say, I don't know," I replied. "If you're going to use it against me, then when should I expect that to start?"

"What makes you think I'd tell you?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied and sighed. "Well, we are friends, and if you're going to use that against me, I guess that's you're choice." I was used to being used, at least to a point. Everyone had a breaking point. But once someone shook over my sketchbook, I was their friend from then on out, no matter what. That was never changing.

"You're stupid," he said. "You really are."

"And you seem to be in need of a friend," I replied simply. He didn't talk to me the rest of the night.

…

The next day was the start of the weekend, but I didn't see Sev anywhere at all. It had me puzzled; until it dawned on me perhaps he was just in the Slytherin dorms all day. I really didn't want to go there, but he probably was so bored with nothing to do but study. He was my friend after all, whether he wanted to or not and I was going to prove it to him. I'd brave the dorms for him. I mean, I had to in order to change clothes and stuff as well, and now I'd just be braving it for a friend rather than clothing.

I muttered the Slytherin password and entered into the common room. There were a few people scattered about, but no too many people cared that I was there. Maybe a lot of people were out, or was it that Hogsmeade weekend people kept talking about? That probably was it; I heard it drew a lot of crowds, especially since it was the only place off campus for students. I went to my room, though it seemed I was slightly shaky as I moved and changed into a different outfit other than my school uniform. I put on a black dress that I liked and buttoned up the collar. I looked very gothic, and I changed my hair to a slightly purple color (with a little magical help of course) as opposed to the black it had been before…or was it red? I didn't remember all the color changes I went through with my hair sometimes. Its original color…or the one I always called the original, was black.

I braided my hair in a loose braid before going over to the boy's side dormitories and then up to the third floor quarters, which was where Severus would probably be. I put my ear to the door to listen for a moment, making sure either no one was inside, or only Severus was inside, or everyone in there was sleeping, before knocking lightly on the wood. No answer. I put my ear to the door again and this time really listened. I heard a slight dripping noise and I grew scared. I opened the door and saw Severus next to a bed, most likely his, knife in one hand and his other hand…he had slit his wrist! I approached him carefully, afraid he'd pull out his wand on me and try to hex me but he looked at me with blank eyes.

"What…are you doing…here?" he whispered. "I thought I locked…the door…"

"It wasn't locked for me," I said, glancing back. Did my own magical powers negate it or something? "We need to get you to Madame Pomfry."

"No…" he hissed. "Just go away…"

"That's not what friends do," I whispered. "Stupid idiot." I tore off a bit of my school coat and wrapped it around his wrist and then pulled him to his feat and tried to put him on my back so I could carry him. I managed to get him somewhat on me so I could get him to Madame Pomfry, but how was I going to get him past all the students? I didn't just want to call the Head of the House to come; he needed to get to Pomfry right away. He had lost a lot of blood; he looked really faint and pale. Could I get him there with my magic? Was I strong enough to beat the magic of the castle? I started focusing my magic to pop us right outside of the medical ward, but it wasn't working. I wasn't able to do anything like that. I guess the magic here was really strong and I was just not strong enough yet or focused enough yet to beat it. I guess I'd have to carry him the whole way.

"Why…why do you care?" he whispered in my ear as I headed out into the hallway and towards the stairs.

"Because I'm your friend you idiot!" I said. "I don't abandon my friends. And you were doing something stupid, so we're going to have a talk about that."

"Uhh…" he whispered and all of a sudden he really felt like dead weight on my body. He passed out from blood loss or something…great.

"Can I get some help here?" I called out as loudly as I could. Dang, I couldn't just do this on my own.

Severus Snape

I found my eyes opening in the Hospital ward. I felt the bed tilting one way and looked over to see Forest with her head in her arms sleeping right on the edge of the bed. I looked at my wrist and saw it all bandaged up. Had Forest actually dragged me all the way to the hospital ward?

"A good, Severus, you're awake," a soft voice said and I looked up to see Professor Dumbledore looking at me. "She was really worried about you, refused to leave your side even."

"Yeah, so?" I asked, but my voice sounded pretty weak.

"She told me what happened," he said and moved to a chair opposite of her on my other side. "She thought you were trying to kill yourself, Severus, is that true?"

"And what if it is?" I asked. "She had no right to interfere!"

"She believed she did," he replied. "She's seen much death already; I don't think she wants to see much more."

"How do you know?" I asked. What had she seen? Wait a minute, why should I care?

"There are many things I know about her. I've known her long before she came to Hogwarts. She's seen much death, and I could tell how sad and disturbed she was when she told me she didn't like seeing your wrist and the pool of blood beneath you," he said. I looked away from him and back at Forest. She did look like she had dried tears on her face.

"Do you know what she is Professor?" I asked. "I mean…she won't tell me and still keeps insisting we're friends…"

"Have you ever really asked without insulting her?" he asked and stood up.

"Well, no…not really asked her at all…" I muttered.

"You've been out for a while. I should tell you that in light of the circumstances, I've set up some counseling sessions for you to perhaps shed some light on what you did. I did not send a message to your parents because I don't believe they need to know as of yet. I knew you wouldn't want them to know either. Do it again however, and I will have no choice," Dumbledore explained and started to leave. "You should thank her. I can't say for certain if you would have succeeded, someone else may have walked in on you, but she certainly has some magic of her own that helped your recovery along."

"How long have I been unconscious?" I asked. This I wanted to know. How long had I been out of it?

"Two days. The knife you used was doused in a very heavy amount of poison. Somehow she had most of it gone by the time she made it to the hospital wing, carrying you on her back. She is something else," Dumbledore said and started whistling as he walked off.

I looked over at Forest, who was sleeping and snoring a little. Just what was she and how did she know I was using poison as well? Or did she even know at all? What I remember was she wrapped my arm up and picked me up to carry me, she didn't really do anything healing like to me, at least not up to the point where I blacked out.

"Stupid Forest, interfering in my life…" I whispered. I was trying to take my own life; it should have been no one's business but my own.

"You only live once, and once you die, you can't live anymore," a murmured voice said and Forest lifted her head of purple hair and I found myself staring into crystal green eyes. "You get one shot at life Sev; people shouldn't just throw that away."

"Is that so? I've heard of people returning from the dead," I said and looked away. Her kind eyes were just too much to bear and that head of purple was just a little distracting.

"Yes, that does happen," she said and sounded very sad. "But it's not easy to do so, and it only happens for a select few, a select few that are chosen. People that need to live because of duties they have to perform, and …well, some are just very stubborn and want to live because they have a lot to live for."

"I don't have a lot to live for, okay?" I asked. "So just leave me alone."

"I'll give you something to live for then, or at least try," she replied. "Please don't try to kill yourself again. It's not something to joke about, it's not funny. And you'd have a few people who would be sad if you died."

"Who?" I asked.

"Me…and Lil," she said after a short pause. "Lil always is sad when someone dies though, so she might not be the best example…but I would be sad. Very sad."

"You hardly know me and I don't give a care about you!" I exclaimed. She looked away from me and smiled sadly, trying to relax a little in the chair.

"I do hardly know you, so why don't you tell me about yourself so I can get to know you better?" she asked. "And I care about you. I'm used to one sided stuff, and it won't change. You're my friend and that's that. Sev, you now know how to die, maybe, just maybe, isn't it time to learn how to live?" She stood up and walked away. "See you in class. Get better soon."

I don't think I've ever met someone with such a big mouth. She talks so much. Yet, she's a lot smarter than a lot of people I know, which may or may not be saying much, and she does know how to talk well when she wants to. Maybe I should at least try to know…just a little more about her.

TBC

A/N: Yeah, I ain't dead! Okay, R&R and let me know what you think. Gods, it's been such a long time since I've written this or any of my stories really.