Well first off sorry for the delay. I know I told a few of you I'd have this up a week or so ago. I'm sorry for making a liar out of myself. It's here now and I hope you enjoy. Second I have to quickly thank Elena for her awesome help with this chapter. She helped out almost fully on the last BL scene when I wasn't sure where I wanted it to go, so thank you once again. Her incredible writing skills still amaze me. lol
Chapter Twelve
Over It
One week.
Seven tedious days.
That's how long it had been since the horror that was the party had occurred. The night everything changed and turned her world upside down.
Never had a single thought entered into her mind that she and Nathan would be broken up. Not now, not their senior year. This was supposed to be their year to reign together as a couple. This had been the plan since they'd gotten together their freshmen year, instantly dubbed the "Next Big Thing". It wasn't a huge transition switching from friends to lovers, they'd known each other their whole lives, which only served to make things all the more easy.
The plan was supposed to continue well after they dominated the school. Next came the four exciting years of collage where plans for her extravagant wedding to Nathan Scott were to take place. Everything from falling in love their freshman year to planning the wedding of the century was what was expected of them, from their parents and from their peers. Brooke and Nathan. Brooke and Nathan. Their names were always spoken together as if they were one. Brooke and Nathan.Where are Brooke and Nathan? The funniest thing happened today with Brooke and Nathan? I just left Brooke and Nathan and they looked so cute. One would think that it would make her indisposed, but it hadn't, not in the least. She'd eaten every second of it up with a spoon.
Sure getting married after college was what was expected of them from everyone big and small and you might think that would cause a great deal of pressure on the bride to be, but that wasn't the case. Being Nathan's wife was what she thrived on. It was what she wanted more than anything. It didn't matter to her that all they did was fight the duration of their relationship, that was the one thing that always remained the same. They would get married, even throughout the cheating from the both of them it was what was destined to happen. All the cheating would stop once they were married. She never really enjoyed sleeping with anyone other than Nathan in the first place. She mainly continued doing so just to keep up with him. If he was gonna mess around then she was going to do the same. In her screwed up mind if he was the only one sleeping around then that would make it wrong. This way they were equals and no one could fault the other or get upset. Had she been in her right mind she'd see that no way was this normal relationship behavior and no way would one of them not get angry when being confronted with the discovery of their indiscretions. They were the most dysfunctional couple on the inside and she knew that, but to the outside world they were the most loving and popular couple established at Tree Hill High. They were Brooke and Nathan.
Maybe that was what was wrong. Somewhere in the middle of being the perfect, ideal couple she'd lost herself. She was no longer Brooke Davis, daughter of Regina and Darrell Davis, captain of the cheerleaders. She was Brooke Davis, girlfriend and future wife of Nathan Scott. Maybe without even realizing it that was why she did the things that she did, using the fact that Nathan was cheating on her as an excuse to rebel against what was already her decided future. Maybe she was subconsciously hoping her actions would sabotage everything, but that was something she would never admit openly or even to herself.
Brooke loved Nathan, that was never in question. She loved him more than she thought humanly possible. There wasn't a time when she couldn't remember being in love with him, even before they got together she knew she was in love with him. At fifteen years of age she was sure Nathan was gonna be it for her. Nathan once told her that he'd wanted to be with her long before they'd become an item, he just never had the courage to say anything in fear that he would ruin the friendship they had. Maybe that was why she put up with all the cheating and name calling, deep down inside she knew that he loved her just as much. They were it for each other, besides it wasn't like he was alone in all the dysfunction. She gave as good as she got, sometimes even more so. She had being a bitch mastered. Their relationship was volatile at times, but there was never any actual physical violence. Throughout all the yelling and fighting that occurred she was never afraid he would cross that line. It just wasn't in him no matter what hell she put him through. At the end of the day after every fight they would make up and everything would be okay. It just had to be. Sure it wasn't the best relationship a person could be in, but that didn't change the fact it was their relationship and never up until now had either of them been ready to give up on the other. Even now after everything Nathan had said and done to her she wasn't ready to give up on him. If he would just forgive her she'd once again take on the role that was given to her all those years ago. Brooke Davis, girlfriend and future wife of Nathan Scott. It was pathetic and she knew it, but that was all she'd known and it was what she'd grown accustomed to. It was what she yearned to have back.
"So what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" asked Peyton knocking her out of her depressing thoughts as she set her backpack down on the floor and took her usual seat in front of her somber looking best friend.
Brooke tried to give her a small smile, but failed miserably."Nothing really. I was just thinking about some things."said Brooke not bothering to look at her friend. She knew Peyton would know what the "some things" really were and she'd be met with a disapproving look, one that would make her feel even worse than she already was.
Peyton rolled her eyes and shook her head. She didn't understand why a girl as great as her best friend could still be pining after the jerk that used to be her boyfriend. Yes it had only been a week and yes she knew they'd been together for as long as she could remember, but still she couldn't fathom what it was that made Nathan this hard to get over. Maybe she couldn't understand because she had never been as deeply in love as Brooke seemed to have been with Nathan. She wanted to understand, she really did, but every time she saw her best friend in tears because of something that jerk said or did all she wanted to do was shake her until her senses returned, until the old Brooke returned. The her that was fun loving and didn't spend every waking moment thinking about Nathan. They used to go out and have fun drinking and dancing at clubs or bars. Those times were long forgotten ever since she got serious about Nathan.
Now one would call her jealous and one would be right. She wanted her best friend back, the one that was strong, fun, and took crap from no one. The drinking and clubbing she could do without. They'd both out grown all that, but mainly she really just wanted her best friend to be happy, really happy. If that happiness included Nathan so be it, but right now with the way he was treating her she didn't see that happening. In her eyes Nathan had a lot of groveling and pleading to do to even begin the process of redeeming himself.
She fought every urge to say something sarcastic and cruel. Comments like that about Nathan just slipped off her tongue, but from the look on Brooke's face she could tell that was the last thing she needed. "What things?" she forced herself to ask once again trying to understand what it was that had him always on her mind.
Brooke shrugged. "It's stupid really. I don't even know what I was thinking." she smiled weakly to herself as if she were some what ashamed of the thoughts still circling her mind.
Not bothering to care that the teacher had just walked in and was about to start class Peyton stayed with her back to the front of the classroom and grabbed a hold of Brooke's hand. "No matter how stupid you think it is I'm here for you B. I want to hear what you're thinking no matter how big or little. I want to be here to help you through all of this. I mean after all the stupid crap I make you listen to you're entitled to a little stupidity." she smiled and inwardly sighed a bit in relief as a small smile crept across Brooke's face.
Brooke wasn't sure where the smile came from, maybe it was brought forth to put her worrying friend at ease. Peyton seemed to be doing that a lot lately, worrying about her. It made Brooke love her all the more, but at the same time it made her really uncomfortable. She didn't want anyone to worry about her. She was fine, as fine as anyone who had just broken up with their long term boyfriend could be. She was acting as if anyone in her position would.
Why couldn't Peyton see that?
All Peyton wanted from her was to hurry and get over Nathan, like that was an easy chore. Too much had happened to just bat an eyelash and be over it. She knew Peyton was trying her hardest to understand, but she just didn't. She didn't understand and in return was giving off this annoyed vibe that was really starting to upset her. All it made Brooke want to do was pretend, smile and put on an act. That was something she'd never felt she had to do with her best friend. She'd never had to pretend that everything was okay. She never had to fake a smile and act as though everything was fine. She wasn't even sure if she'd be able to pull it off with the fact that Peyton knew her so well, but it was all she was left with. She no longer wanted the looks of pity she was sure Peyton wasn't aware she was giving her. It was all too much to handle. She wanted it all to go away.
Brooke watched as the blonde sat waiting for her to share whatever it was she'd been thinking of no matter how stupid she said it was. She wasn't sure what she could say to put Peyton's mind at ease. She couldn't tell her the truth. She couldn't tell her that she'd been thinking about how she was supposed to marry Nathan and still wanted to even though he thought she was his brother's whore. She couldn't tell her that she saw herself as a weak pathetic person. She couldn't say any of that, but she had to say something. A sense of relief washed over her as their teacher called out to Peyton telling her she needed to look forward.
Without even a glance in the teachers direction Peyton stayed planted in her seat facing Brooke. It didn't matter that the teacher was repeatedly calling her name. Brooke seemed to need her more and that was where her attention was staying.
Brooke let out another smile to reassure her friend. She pointed forward. "You might wanna turn around Peyt. Mr. Catskill looks like he's about to blow a fuse. You know he doesn't hesitate to hand out detention slips and you have practice after school. No matter how good you're in with the captain she just won't put up with it." she smiled lamely. Off her friends still worried look she continued. "We'll talk later. I promise."
Peyton looked at her skeptically for a moment before nodding and turning to face the front. As quickly as she had turned forward she spun back around and looked at Brooke.
"Ms. Sawyer you really need to face the front." scolded the teacher.
She wasn't sure why she'd turned back, maybe it was to see what real look she could catch on Brooke's face. She needed something to go on. "My house after practice. We'll talk there. "she said firmly. Brooke nodded knowing this wasn't up for discussion.
"Good." she said already turning around to face a very upset teacher. She rolled her eyes at him and smiled curtly. When he stood in place not tearing his eyes from her she sighed in annoyance and continued. "Oh, I'm done now. You can go ahead and start class. I won't mind." with that she looked down and began to pull her things from her bag. The teacher fumed a bit longer before turning to write something on the board.
"You are so bad." whispered Brooke as she poked her friend in the back.
Peyton let out a small laugh as she leaned back in her seat. "I learned from the best." She winked.
Practice if you could even call it that was now over. Nathan might as well not even have shown up today. His head wasn't in it as it hadn't been all week. He was playing like crap and everyone took notice, especially Whitey who had demanded he stay a few extra hours to pull his head out of his ass. Like his head was really in his ass, he wished it had been, but no it had actually been focused on the brunette a few feet away practicing with her squad. It had been a week since they'd broken up.
One very long week.
He'd never had a week drag on like this. It might not have been so bad if Brooke had come around some. As much as he said he couldn't stand her and wanted her to just leave him alone it wasn't true. She'd done just that this past week and he couldn't take it anymore. He was literally going out of his mind. The power that girl had over him was incomprehensible. He couldn't blame her for steering clear of him. The last time she'd come up to him he'd been a class A jerk to her. If he were her he'd stay far away from him too. He thought back to the last conversation they had and couldn't believe the things he'd said…
Brooke took a deep breath as if it would prepare her for the verbal beating she was sure she was about to endure. She wasn't sure why she put herself through this time and time again, but here she was about to experience it yet again. She looked down and watched as one foot stepped in front of the other slowly as she made her way over to Nathan.
Nathan looked up from his locker as he sensed Brooke approaching. He watched as she slowly made her way in his direction. To be honest he wasn't sure she was coming to talk to him. She was looking down and walking as if she was dreading going anywhere near him. She seemed like she was trying her hardest to not look in his direction. So when she actually did stop in front of him he was surprised. For a brief moment he felt his lips curl into a small smile. Silently berating himself for allowing that reaction to her he recovered with a snide question.
"What the hell do you want Brooke? I'm busy." he asked mastering the sound of annoyance. He was far from annoyed though. He both dreaded and lived for the small encounters they shared these days. It inwardly made him happy that Brooke still cared enough to try and get him to talk to her, to forgive her, but he couldn't show her that. He couldn't show anyone that. Showing the slightest bit of emotion would make him vulnerable. It would leave him wide open to get hurt and that wasn't something he was willing to do no matter who got hurt in the process.
Brooke shut her eyes briefly and swallowed before answering. "I know I keep saying this, but I just want you to talk to me Nathan. I want you to give me the chance to explain everything once and for all." she pleaded, "God Nathan can't you at least give me that?" She knew her requests would fall on deaf ears. There was no way Nathan was willing to hear her out. Why she still tried was beyond her.
Nathan rolled his eyes at her. It was all he could do not to pull her into his arms and tell her she didn't need to explain anything to him. He wanted to hold her, tell her he forgave her and that he was sorry. However, that wasn't something he could do, because he was Nathan Scott after all. Big man on campus and not one to fall victim to girl. His mentality and pride drove him insane, and his heart was killing him from the ache he felt.
He wanted to remember what it felt like to have her in his arms again. He wanted to hear her say she loved him. He wanted more than anything for none of this to have happened, but it had and he knew no matter what he wouldn't be able to get what he wanted, so why should he give her what she wanted?
"Yeah, well, it's about time you realized that the world doesn't revolve around you Brooke. In the real world we don't always get what we want. Trust me, I know." He sneered over at her, it was so much easier to be angry than miserable. If anything, Nathan needed to keep his pride intact, even if it meant pain for Brooke and even himself in the long run. That's just how things had to be from now on.
"Nathan..." she tried to cut in.
"No Brooke. Don't Nathan me."he shouted. "You really need to stop doing this. We're over. You need to have a little more respect for yourself and stop following me around like a little dog looking for table scraps. It's a little degrading and embarrassing if you ask me." He snorted, "I mean come on baby, where's the Brooke Davis we all know huh? Are you seriously that whipped?" he finished with a smirk.
He watched as her face fell and she fought to hold back tears. He had never hated himself more than in that moment. The things he had said were horrible and the fact that they were aimed at the one person he loved most made him ill. He couldn't believe the things that had been coming out of his mouth lately. They were mean and malicious, ugly and cruel even. They weren't him, and yet still he couldn't stop the garbage from spewing out. It was a defense mechanism. Hurt the ones that hurt you so they and no one else could see how much you were really suffering. He wasn't sure how well that was working out though.
Brooke looked at him through tear brimmed eyes and shook her head. "You know, sometimes I can't believe that I could love someone so much who is so cruel." she whispered hoarsely, "It's amazing how closed minded you are. You know Nathan, you make it so hard to even look at you sometimes." She bit out nastily before slowly walking passed him, "and yet I still can't stop myself from wanting to at least be in the same room with you." She laughed softly to herself and headed out toward the exits, needing to get as far away from him as quickly as possible. She didn't need to completely break down in front of Nathan and give him even more ammunition to hurt her with later.
An even sadder revelation was that in that moment, as Brooke miraculously carried herself away from the scene, she realized one thing. That Nathan was not the same boy she fell in love with, and that she was not the same girl either. They were two totally different people trying to live the same life.
Nathan's heart ached even more when she opened her mouth and said what she did. He was being so hateful yet there she was still wanting him to know that she loved him. He had to fight with everything in him not to reach out and stop her from leaving, from not calling out to her. He hated himself for what he was putting her though, but for some reason he couldn't stop. He couldn't forgive her.
What did that say about him?
Nathan shook his head of those thoughts. Thinking about their last encounter just upset him. He didn't want to think about what a bastard he was being. He didn't want to think about how much he was causing her pain. He needed to remind himself of the reason all this was happening.
She cheated on him with his brother.
It wasn't hard to remember that, not with all the looks the two shared throughout practice. Well if he was being completely honest the looks were more so coming from his ass of a brother.
Lucas.
He couldn't stand the bastard. Never, not once had he apologized for what he'd done. Not once had he come up and tried to talk to him, not like Brooke had. No, all Lucas did was throw the fact that he was going to go after Brooke in his face. Maybe that was why he couldn't bring himself to forgive her. With Lucas being so open about his feelings for her he couldn't help but wonder what Brooke would do if he made an actual move on her. Would she give into him like she already had once before?
"Nathan." he heard someone call out his name.
"Shit." he cursed under his breath once he recognized his father's voice.
Dan grimaced as Nathan made no effort to turn to face him. "Nathan I know you hear me boy." shouted Dan forcing his son to face him.
"What?" yelled Nathan finally acknowledging Dan's presence.
"First off, you need to pull your head out of your ass and not talk to me that way and second, I just got through talking to Whitey and he informed me that your performance this past week has been unacceptable. What the hell is going on with you son? And don't you dare say it's because of Brooke Davis. She is hardly worth you ruining your career over."
Nathan shook his head. There was no way he was going to talk about this with him.
Dan glared at his son. "I'm talking to you Nathan. I expect an answer." he demanded.
Nathan returned his father's stone glared with one of his own. "I don't know what you want me to say. Yeah okay, maybe my game has been a bit off lately."
"A bit off?" Dan interrupted with a laugh. "From what I just heard you're more than a bit off. You need to focus damn it. You need to get your mind off of that girl. She's nothing special. There are plenty more out there. Who gives a damn that your brother was diddling your girl? That just shows that she wasn't worth it. It's time to get over it." Dan scolded.
Nathan scoffed at his father's derogatory assessment of the situation. It was just like Dan to put all the blame on Brooke, never mind that it was Lucas with her. "So then what does that make Lucas?" he questioned spitefully. "Does that make him not worth it as well? I should just forget about him too?" he knew this was gonna strike a nerve with Dan, but he didn't care. Dan needed to realize that Lucas was as much as fault for this whole thing as Brooke was, probably more so.
Dan looked down as if contemplating what to say next. "Look Nathan by no means was what your brother did right, but he's a guy. If you put a beautiful and willing girl in front of any guy he's gonna jump at it. It may not be right, but that's just how it is. I have no doubt that it was Brooke who seduced Lucas. She's just that type. Blood is thicker than water son. You need to always remember that." he smiled at his argument. Nothing had ever sounded so good.
Nathan shook his head at what Dan deemed right. He couldn't believe the things that man came up with. Like it was all Brooke's doing. If Dan only knew of all the times Lucas told him he was going to go after Brooke he'd be singing a different tune, on second thought that probably would change a thing. "Whatever. I guess it's a good thing I don't consider your mistake my blood. "and with that he turned back around to shoot around.
"I know you're angry, but you need to remember that Lucas is family and that little slut isn't. Don't you even think about cutting him out over a girl. I will not have it." shouted Dan in a huff as he stomped his way out of the gym. He jolted back around before he reached the door. "One more thing. Your game better improve immensely or else we'll be getting up at four in the morning six days a week and you know how that goes. Don't make me make you into a better player, do that on your own. We both know you're capable of it. Make me proud son." and with that he was gone.
Nathan cringed at the last statement. He couldn't stand his father. If there was ever a person who could make his mood even worse than it already was it was Dan. He turned his head too the left and watched as his brother talked to his ex girlfriend. If he wasn't mistaken--and he was sure he wasn't--he'd swear his brother was smiling. Quickly, Nathan turned away. Now that was what he didn't need right now. He didn't need to see Brooke flirting with Lucas right after his father had just laid into him on how big of a slut she was. He couldn't help himself, he was pulled by some unseen force to look back over at them. He was surprised to see only Lucas standing there. Brooke must have left as quickly as she had appeared. It didn't make a difference though. The fact that she was there with him at all said everything he needed to know. No matter what she wasn't willing to give Lucas up.
"Hey man." said Zack as he clapped Nathan on the back. "You still here?"
Nathan nodded. "Yeah, I need to get my head back in the game."
Zack nodded. "I noticed Whitey's been riding you hard. Fuck him man. We all know you're a hell of a player."
"Thanks man, but he's right. I need to forget everything once I'm out on the court. It's the rule of the game."
"Yeah, either that or you just need to get laid." laughed Zack as if it were the funniest thing he'd ever said and it probably was which was pathetic. Nathan didn't find it the least bit amusing and Zack scrambled to recover. "I...uh… I was talking about myself really. I find my head wandering when I haven't gotten laid in a while and right now its been a while. A long while." he stretched out.
Nathan looked around not knowing what to say to that. "Well I'm sorry man. It must be rough." he said accompanied by a fake cough.
"Don't say you're sorry dude. Say you know someone you could hook me up with, someone who is up for some fun." Zack smirked.
"Sorry man, can't say that I do." said Nathan as he dribbled the ball.
"Hey man, hows it going?" asked Lucas looking at Zack as he passed by.
Nathan rolled his eyes as Zack nodded in his direction. That guy was so pitiful it made him sick. He watched as Lucas made his way out of the gym. He turned back to Zack. "On second thought I think I might know someone after all."
Brooke slammed her car door and furiously made her way up the steps to the front door. She didn't even bother knocking. She threw open the door and stomped inside the house. "Nathan?" she yelled not bothering to care who heard her.
"Nathan where the hell are you?" she shouted as she made her way to the stairs ready to take them up to his room. No matter what she wasn't going to leave until she told him exactly what was on her mind. She began to ascend the stairs when he appeared at the top and made his way down. She couldn't help but take in his appearance. His hair was tousled as if he'd been asleep. She always thought he looked the sexiest when he'd just woken up. She shook her head adamantly of those thoughts. She couldn't be thinking about him like that, not when she was furious at him for what he'd done.
Nathan inwardly smiled as he made is way down toward her. He hadn't said a word and he knew it would piss her off. He reached the last step and brushed against her shoulder as he pushed past her barely acknowledging her presence. He stood still in front of the front door and turned to her. She was glaring at him with a look of fury he'd never seen before. Right now he wasn't sure his plan was the best idea. He really hadn't put much thought into it at the time. He hadn't planned on saying anything, but then it just came out.
"Oh yeah?" asked Zack with a sloppy grin. "Who? She has to be hot and willing to put out." he listed.
Nathan nodded not sure what he was doing. "Brooke." he let out. He knew this was wrong, but there was no turning back now. Brooke would probably laugh once Zack showed up at her house. At the very least he knew this would get her to talk to him. That thought brought the smallest of smiles to appear.
Zack's eyes narrowed. "Did you just say Brooke? "he questioned confused.
Nathan nodded not making eye contact.
"Dude, she's your girl. I can't fuck around with that."
Nathan shook his head. The loyalty this guy showed had been more than Brooke or Lucas showed him. "She's not my girl anymore. Go for it. It'll be worth it, I promise."he gave a sly smile." If you don't believe me just ask Lucas." The things that came out of his mouth were now beginning to make him sick. He didn't even know why he said half the things he did when it came to her.
Zack held up his hands. "Look I don't want to get involved in any of this."
"Involved in what?" Nathan questioned."It won't bother me in the least. It might piss Lucas off, but then again who cares. You said you were looking for a good time. Brooke will give you one hell of a time." he winced at his words. He really was a jerk. There was no denying that.
Zack smiled as his eyes glazed over imagining what was to come. "Yeah, okay. I'll pay Brooke a visit." he chuckled.
The silence was deafening. It was too much. Nathan waited for her to say something, but she didn't. It was as if she were waiting on him. He had never been more uncomfortable than he was right then, but there was no way he could let that show.
He let out an annoyed sigh and pretended not to know why she was there. "What are you doing here Brooke? I was kinda in the middle of taking a nap."
Brooke scowled. " I don't give a damn that you were sleeping. Don't you dare stand there and try and act as if you don't know why the hell I'm here. You are one sick son of a bitch Nathan." she shook her head trying to calm her rage for the boy in front of her.
"Brooke I really don't have time for this. I have a lot of homework to do so you need to go." he said once again trying to push her away and at the same time hoping she wouldn't take the bait. He wanted her here with him, but she couldn't know that, nobody could. As long as he was fighting with her it was okay to be around her. Nobody would laugh at him. He'd be safe, but for how long?
"Do you think I give a damn that you have homework? You don't give a damn about my feelings. You never have. I can see that now. I'm no longer blinded by my insane love for you. I see you for the jackass you truly are." she ranted in fury.
Nathan took a deep breath. She was pissed at him, more pissed than he had ever seen her and she had every right to be. "I'm serious Brooke, this isn't a good time for this."
Brooke scoffed. "Why? You have more important things to do? Like, I don't know maybe to try and pimp me out to the rest of your friends." she venomously spit out.
Hearing her say what she did the way she had for some reason brought the tiniest of smiles to his face. He hadn't even thought it was noticeable, but apparently it was because without a seconds hesitance her hand went flying across his cheek. The slap was loud and justified. He would have slapped himself if he could. The fact that he had literally done exactly what she accused him of was enough to warrant the slap, but couple that with the small smile he gave her and the slap didn't seem like enough punishment.
He wasn't sure why he'd done it in the first place. Even before the words left his mouth he knew they were wrong. Maybe he did it to test her. To see if she would actually hook up with a friend of his. Deep down he knew she wouldn't, but the hurt part of his heart, the untrusting part had its doubts. He needed to diffuse the situation. Brooke was well beyond pissed. "Brooke..."
"No." she shouted. "I have put up with your shit for so long Nathan, but not anymore. This time you seriously crossed the line. You had no right to send that jerk over to my house." she shouted.
Nathan looked down. "What did he do?" he was now a little worried about what he'd actually sent to her. Zack better not have tried to force her into anything because if he did there was no telling what he would do to him..
Brooke rolled her eyes. "Don't even pretend to act like you care now. Zack told me you practically guaranteed I'd sleep with him. I don't know where the hell you think you get off thinking I'm some cheap slut you can pass out like a stick of gum. You have problems Nathan. Serious ones."she said trying to calm herself. Never had she been this angry at Nathan.
"I have problems?" he asked incredulously as he became defensive. This wasn't what he wanted to happen, but it was happening just the same. "You have more issues than any other person I know. Can you blame me for telling Zack what I did? You proved to me and everyone the type of person you really are. It's only fair we start treating you accordingly." there he went again, saying things he didn't mean, wanting to get a reaction from her, wanting to prolong her time there with him. Of all the times he told Brooke she was pathetic he was the one being pathetic and there was no denying it.
Brooke swallowed as she took in his last words. She couldn't fathom the words she was hearing, the crude harsh sentences flying out his beautiful lips. Lips that used to crush against hers so passionately they buzzed for hours afterward. As unbelievable as it was, it was happening. She shook her head as she glared at him. "I'm done. I am so done with you." her voice was so cold it brought chills down his spine and the look she was giving him didn't help any.
"Brooke we've been done for a while now." he reminded her as though she'd need it.
Brooke nodded in agreement. "Yeah I know, but for some pathetic reason I kept trying to get you to take me back. After everything you've put me through I still wanted to be with you, but not any more. Nu uh. I'm done trying to get you to forgive me. It's not worth it. You're not worth it because now there is nothing you can do to get me to forgive you." she took a deep breath as she made her way to the door.
Breathe baited, heart pounding in her ears and in her chest, Brooke refused to cry. Tears were worthless and a waste of energy.
She placed her hand on the handle and opened the door slightly as she turned back to face him again. "You know I never thought that I'd be able to say that I hate you, but do. I hate you Nathan, more than I've ever hated anyone." she turned away from him and let herself out of the house. She stopped briefly as she saw Lucas coming up the path. She watched him glance up at her and without sparing him a second look she pushed past him to her car.
Nathan watched as she disappeared leaving only a open door behind. When he'd suggested Zack go to Brooke he never expected the fallout to be this extreme. Sure he knew she'd be angry at him. They'd yell and fight, but that was their thing. They'd fight and fight then eventually they'd make up but the look in her eyes today was so much worse than anything she could have said to him. It was a look of disappointment mixed with finality. She had finally reached her limit with him. She was no longer going try and get him to forgive her. She was like she'd said done.
His heart broke a little more when she said she hated him, when she said she would never forgive his latest scheme. She had every right to feel the way she did. This time he'd crossed the line and was well aware of it. All he'd had in mind when doing this was to get her angry enough to make her want to yell at him, to get her to talk to him. Never had he wanted for her to give up on him completely, but like most stupid plans his had back fired.
She was done with him and the look in her eyes when she said it proved she was serious. He'd never felt more defeated then in that moment. All he wanted to do was go back up to his room and throw himself down on his bed, but of course nothing would go his way today.
"What the hell did you do to her?" Lucas shouted as he let himself into the house. There was no doubt in his mind that what had just occurred between the two had been brutal.
"Don't start with me Lucas. Stay the hell out of my business." he yelled.
"I make your business my business when I see you make a girl you claim to care about run from here crying." spit out Lucas.
"She wasn't crying." he said more so for his benefit. He didn't want to believe that he'd made her yet again cry.
"Really because the Brooke I saw was on the verge of tears. Why don't you do everyone a favor and stay the hell away from her."
Nathan shook his head. "I know you're pretty dense, but this is my house. Brooke was here. Maybe she's the one that needs to stay away from me." with that he gave Lucas one last glare before making his way up the stairs. The last thing he needed was for Lucas to make him feel even worse than he already was.
Brooke couldn't have been crying. The girl that had left him standing there was one that was pissed off to no end, not on the verge of tears. Lucas had to have been mistaken. Brooke hated him now. There was no way she'd spend her time crying over him.
Brooke turned from her position on her back to her side and grasped her pillow tightly against her body. She'd thrown herself on her bed the second she got home and hadn't moved since. That was about two hours ago. She had things to do, that she knew, but she couldn't bring herself to get up. This day had seriously taken its toll on her.
She replayed the days events in her head over and over again. She still couldn't believe what Nathan had done. Sure he had been an ass to her, but never did she think he would pass her off to one of his horny friends like she was some whore who would just go along with it. When Zack finally gave in and told her why he was there and who sent him she thought he was joking. Nathan wouldn't do that, but then he apologized and called Nathan a bastard and that pretty much said it all. Nathan sent him over there with only one thing in mind. To have sex.
The second she sent him away she ran to her car and went straight over to Nathan's. She had never been more angry at him. The fact that he could do something like that to her pissed her off to no end. She needed him to know exactly what was on her mind and that was exactly what she did. He acted like he didn't do anything wrong. It was as if she didn't know the boy in front of her, he definitely wasn't the Nathan she fell in love with and she no long was going to act like he was.
Looking back on the way she'd been acting made her sick. She went after him time and time again begging him to talk to her. She figured if he would just listen to her reasoning then he'd understand and everything could go back to normal. She knew he was furious at her, but never had it crossed her mind that he thought so little of her. You could call her naive, but she really thought with time things would blow over.
Those delusional thoughts were long gone now. There was no way they were getting back together. She now knew how he truly felt about her and she was done. As much as it pained her they were really over. There would be no more pathetic attempts to get him to listen. Now she didn't care if he thought she was sleeping with Lucas.
"Hey." said Peyton as she sat down on the bed beside Brooke once again knocking her out of her thoughts. "Were you ever planning on making it to my house today?" she questioned sternly. There was no way Brooke was gonna get out of this. She promised they would talk and that's what they were gonna do. Whether Brooke knew it or not she really needed this.
Brooke rolled her eyes. This was the last thing she needed right now. Her best friend meant well, she knew that, but what she failed to realize was that not everyone liked to talk about their feelings openly. She loved Peyton more than anything, but what she really wanted was for her to back off, even if just a little. "I wasn't planning on it." she let out not bothering to turn to face the blonde.
"So when we made plans this morning you were just talking out of your ass?" she knew Brooke was going through a lot right now and didn't really need this, but she was doing this for her own good. If Brooke continued to keep everything bottled up inside she was going to have a mental breakdown.
"No it was basically to shut you up." she said knowing she was being unusually cruel, but she really didn't need this right now. Peyton should be able to see that she wasn't in the mood for a heart to heart.
"Brooke." she started, but was immediately cut off.
"No Peyton." she turned around to face her friend. "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said that, but right now I am not in the mood for this. I love you, I really do, but I just want to be alone right now." she gave her a weak smile.
Peyton finally took in the sight of her best friend. She looked a mess. "Hey what happened? You look like crap." she blatantly stated.
Brooke rolled her eyes. "Thanks." she said with a sigh.
"I'm serious Brooke. What happened?" she knew something major had to have happened for Brooke to be acting this way. She was okay when she left her after practice this afternoon.
There was no way that Peyton was going to leave this alone. Brooke knew that much. She might as well just get it over with. "Well Nathan showed me how little he really thinks of me today." She began to explain in a bitter tone. "But we already knew that."she paused to take a breath." He sent Zack over here earlier to have sex with me." saying it out loud sounded so absurd.
Peyton's eyes narrowed. "He what?" there was no way she heard correctly. There was no way Nathan would send a guy over here to sleep with Brooke.
Brooke nodded. "Yep. He tried to pimp me out. If I wasn't so pissed I'd think it was funny." she smiled. The more she thought about it the more ridiculous it sounded. There was no way this actually happened.
"Nothing about that is funny Brooke. Nathan is a jerk. I swear some of the things he comes up with make me want to kill him. You need to forget about him Brooke." she shook her head furiously. The more she thought about it the more she came to the realization that Nathan was no good for Brooke. If he kept up this shit he was gonna break her.
Brooke nodded in agreement. "I know. I'm done with him. I told him so today. I've had enough. I can't keep doing this to myself. I can't keep putting myself through this. This time he seriously went too far. Even I can't get over this."
"Yes he did." Peyton agreed. "You have put up with so much of his crap Brooke. Enough is enough. Don't do it anymore. I won't let you do it anymore." Nathan was such a son of a bitch for pulling this latest stunt. There was no way she could go on letting him make a fool out of Brooke.
Brooke smiled to herself. She loved the way Peyton always looked out for her. When it wasn't annoying the hell out of her it was making her love her all the more. "I'm not." she assured. "Do you know how pathetic I would look if I did?"
"You're not pathetic Brooke. I wish you would stopping thinking like that."
Brooke looked away from her blonde best friend. "Yeah, well I sure feel pathetic. Nathan's done a bang up job with that."
Peyton let out a sigh. She hated when Brooke got into this depressed mood. The girl in front of her just seemed so broken, but she knew Brooke needed to let it all out. This was why she came over in the first place, to get Brooke to talk and open up about what was going on even if it was the last thing Brooke wanted. "Well then don't let him. Nathan's opinion can only be as strong in your life as you allow it to be. Don't give him such power." she concluded confidently.
Brooke nodded. "I'm trying, god am I trying." she took a deep breath and exhaled. "I told him I was done today. I can't keep doing this to myself. It's all too much. I never thought I would ever have to say any of this, but here I am." said Brooke knowing everything she'd just spoken would please Peyton. It was all true, for the most part, but she knew Peyton needed to hear her say these things so that she'd feel better. Peyton always worried too much. She loved her for it, but sometimes all she wanted to do was scream to her best friend to back off. She wouldn't though. There was no way that would happen. She needed to give Peyton what she wanted. She needed Peyton to believe everything was okay even if she wasn't sure herself.
The thing about Peyton though, was that she was pretty good at reading people. She'd become a real pro at reading Brooke. She knew when Brooke was feeding her bull and she always called her on it. On the rare occasion she was able to fool her Brooke had to steer clear of her so she wouldn't figure it out. Those few times had been hell. It was so hard avoiding your best friend. Hopefully this time Peyton wouldn't see through her.
Peyton looked at Brooke skeptically. She's wanted nothing more than to hear Brooke say what she just had, she just wanted them to be true and right now she wasn't sure they were. It was too soon to tell though. Even if she did mean everything she said it was going to take time for things to get better. She just needed to trust her friend."Good Brooke. I'm proud of you. Nathan isn't worth it and I'm gonna tell him so tomorrow."she huffed. She couldn't wait to see Nathan tomorrow. She was gonna give him a piece of her mind like never before.
Brooke shook her head adamantly."Don't do that. Just leave his sorry ass alone. I don't want either of us to waste our time on him anymore. What's done is done. Just leave it alone. Nathan is a jerk. I fully see that now. Don't worry I'm not going to change my mind."
Peyton nodded knowing full well she was still going to tell Nathan off first chance she got. That's what best friends did.
Brooke adjusted the strap to her backpack and headed through the school doors. This was the last place she wanted to be. She literally had to force herself to get out of bed and now she was just going through the motions.
She figured she could stay home and mope to herself, allowing Nathan to see how much he'd gotten to her or she could go to school and hold her head high when he was around and pretend everything was okay. She chose the latter. The last thing she needed was for Nathan to know he'd gotten under her skin.
Brooke turned the corner on her way to her locker when her eyes landed on Lucas. He seemed so carefree rummaging in his locker for whatever it was he was looking for. She wished she could be like that, not have a care in the world. Lucas didn't care that Nathan was a huge jerk. Anything Nathan threw at him he rolled with. He seemed to never let it bother him.
She suddenly felt an urge to go over to him. She wanted to talk to him, see what was going on in his life, but she couldn't. She'd told him a week ago she no longer wanted to be his friend, that nothing good could come from it. All that was done for Nathan, so Nathan wouldn't be mad at her. She suddenly felt sick knowing that she'd given up a perfectly good friendship for someone who turned out to be an asshole.
She wondered what Lucas would do if she went up to him and tried talking to him. It had been about a week since they'd had a conversation. A whole week without saying a word to each other, well other than a quick sorry for bumping into him yesterday in the gym. Would he laugh at her and walk away? He had every right to be angry at her. She cut him out so it wouldn't upset his brother.
All Lucas wanted was for her to stand up for herself and not take Nathan's crap and how had she repaid him? By telling him to stay away from her. She shook her head at her horrible behavior and slowly proceeded over to Lucas. There was only one way to find out how he'd be. She took one last deep breath before calling out to him.
"Hey." she said once she was within ear shot.
Lucas tensed for a second before turning around to the familiar voice. He gave her a lopsided grin. "Hey." to say he was surprised that she'd come up to him would be an understatement.
Brooke smiled back a little confused. This wasn't the reaction she expected from him. No, she expected him to be cold and standoffish. If she were him, that's how she would have been. There was no excuse for her behavior and she wasn't even going to try and justify it. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say next since she had only prepared herself for him walking away. Lucas must have sensed her hesitance because it was him that initiated their conversation.
"Brooke?" his eyes narrowed at the small beauty before him. "Is everything okay?" he asked quizzically.
"No," she shook her head with a small laugh, "but hopefully it will be soon." She shrugged slightly, taking another step forward. She was ready to apologize and hope they could possibly start over. "So look—"
"So you catch that documentary on sea horses last night on the Discovery channel?" Lucas cut in suddenly, his face playfully serious. He was giving her a perfect chance to skip the awkward apologies and just share a calm conversation. "Cuz I watched it, and man did I learn a thing or two about a thing or two." He nodded hoping she'd take his cue.
Laughing at his goofy demeanor, Brooke shook her head at how incredibly opposite Lucas was from Nathan. The younger Scott would have milked this guilt trio for all it was worth, yet here was Lucas, standing there with an olive branch with a huge smile.
All she had to do was take it, right?
"No," she said, a small smile creeping over her lips, "I guess I missed it." she inwardly thanked him.
"Eh." Lucas waved a hand, "it wasn't all that anyways. I just lost the remote and was too lazy to change the channel." he grinned wide.
Brooke set off in a fit of laughter but quickly recovered upon catching sight of Nathan a few feet away. Eyes locking she blinked her gaze away and to the floor, she didn't care what he thought, she swore she didn't. No way was she about to ruin this again because he looked furious. Nathan was no longer gonna have that power over her. He didn't want her to associate with Lucas... well too bad.
Lucas had noticed a change in Brooke's body language and knew exactly the cause without having to turn to look.
"You take notes in English yesterday? Cuz damn my luck, I lost my copy." He quickly closed his locker and urged her in the opposite direction of his brother, taking a step toward Brooke's first class.
"Do I look like I take notes?" She snorted.
"Hey, I'm not one to judge a book by its cover. If I did that I'd need a cold shower cuz you'd definitely be a Playboy." He teased, nudging her playfully with his shoulder.
"Ha. Ha." Brooke rolled her eyes. This seemed so easy, talking and joking around with Lucas was easy. It made her feel a little better about things."So sea horse boy, you gonna walk me all the way to class or are you gonna ditch me?"she smiled.
Lucas stopped in his tracks as if debating what to do.
Brooke rolled her eyes at him and linked her arm through his."You're walking me to class whether you like it or not."she pulled him playfully in the direction of her first class.
"I love it when you're all demanding."said Lucas as he let out a chuckle.
"Good, then this friendship will work out smoothly. I tend to demand a lot of my friends. You think you can handle it?"she playfully challenged.
Lucas took a breath before answering."Yeah, I think so."he smiled as they reached Brooke's class. He stood in front of her."Well I've done my duty and you've arrived safely to class. My job is done."
Brooke nodded."Thanks Luke. You're the best."she smiled firmly.
Lucas rolled his eyes."Well I try."he laughed off the compliment.
"No I'm serious."Brooke grew serious."You're here with me acting as if this past week hasn't happened and as fun and great as it is to joke around with you like this I have to bring it up."
Lucas shook his head."No you don't. Lets just drop it. What's done is done. There's is no changing anything Brooke."said Lucas wishing Brooke would have just left things the way they were.
"I know."she exhaled."but I can't just go on with you like this without apologizing."
"You don't need to do that Brooke. I'm not about to make you feel worse than you already do."
"Why can't all guys be like you Luke?"she asked as she shook her head slowly.
Lucas looked down amazed at how quickly the aura around them changed. They went from playful to completely serious in the matter of minutes and before he could stop them, the words flooded out of his mouth."You mean Nathan?"
It was Brooke's turn to look away. She'd asked for this. She was the one that got all serious."I don't really want to talk about him Lucas. We're done."she stated confidently hoping Lucas would believe her.
Lucas nodded."Good to hear. Nathan is a jerk and until he can treat you the way you should be treated you really should steer clear of him."
"I know he's a jerk, which is why I need to apologize Lucas. I was a real bitch to you that day. I should have never told you we couldn't be friends. I did it because I thought it would make Nathan happy."
"And did it?"cut in Lucas.
Brooke shook her head."No, he could careless and now I careless about what he thinks. It was wrong Lucas and for that I'm sorry."she finished with a small smile.
"Okay."nodded Lucas.
Brooke's eyes narrowed. Of all the things Lucas could have said okay was not what she expected."Okay?"she questioned."That's it?"
Lucas once again nodded."Yeah, okay, but if you really want to make it up to me you'll buy me lunch today. I left my money at home and I really don't want to beg people for spare change."he smiled at her.
Brooke had to laugh. He once again went with comedy to diffused the tension. She was grateful for that. Lucas Scott sure was something."You're on. I'll see you at lunch Luke."she said before turning to walk into her class.