Disclaimer: I don't own DW, the characters or the story, I make no money off the writing of this story.
Ways To Annoy Jack
Sign him up for sexaholics anonymous.
Question his identity.
Ask about his pregnancy.
Ask him who has slept with more women him or Captain Kirk.
Ask him who has with more men him or Elizabeth Taylor.
Tell him that unlike him you got to sleep with Nine (A.N. :I can dream, can't I).
Force him to confront the real Captain Jack Harkness.
Make him leave the real Captain Jack Harkness.
Don't let him dance with your companion.
Call him Biggles.
Tell him that for him just saying hello is flirting.
If you work for him or with him mutiny.
Ask him where he hid his weapon when he' s standing in front of you totally nude. (A.N.: For the record if that happened I wouldn't be able to speak).
When you're on an alien planet with him and he asks you how to say 'I want to buy you a drink' in native tongue teach him the phrase that means 'I slept with your grandmother' instead.
When you come to a small village tell the village elder that Jack slept with his wife, his daughter, his son, his great aunt Bessie, his third cousin Melvin, his stepbrother Paul, etc. ectc. And he wants to know when he come back and do it again.
Abandon him.
Make him immortal and let him find out the hard way.
Kiss him and call him Doctor by mistake.