"Whoa," Lee said as he placed restraining hands on Zak's shoulders. "Where are you going? Cottle hasn't released you yet."
"I need to see her." He couldn't believe that she was alive. He wasn't thinking clearly, hells, he wasn't thinking at all. The only thing he knew was that he needed to find her.
"Why?"
Zak turned his face up to look Lee directly in the eye. "The girlfriend, the one I had before I was captured," he could see the realization dawning on his brother's face, "it was Maggie."Chapter 18
Zak struggled against the firm pressure of his brother's hands on his shoulders. "Let me go, Lee."
"No. You can't just go barging out of sickbay."
Something in Lee's tone forced Zak to realize he wasn't getting out of there by himself, at least not at that moment. He stopped resisting, and despite his determination to find Maggie, he sat back down on the bed.
"Fine, Lee, but I need you to help me."
"I'm not sure what you want me to do." Lee stared down at him with a wary eye.
"I need to see her," Zak stated firmly.
"You will. She said she'd stop by."
Zak felt his frustration growing. "No. You said she might stop by, and I can guarantee you she won't."
Lee gave him a puzzled look. "Why wouldn't she? You guys dated for a year…"
"But the cylon would have broken up with her," Zak interjected. It was a realization that hadn't taken long in forming. "There's no way she'll come and see me if she thinks I dumped her." He could see his brother beginning to understand. "Please Lee, I need to see her." Lee's reluctance was beginning to melt away. "I need to tell her the truth. It can't wait."
"Okay," he assented quietly. "Just give me a few minutes Zak. I'll figure something out."
Zak sagged back against the pillows in relief. "Thank you."
Lee nodded and left Zak alone with his thoughts, his mind was still reeling over the knowledge that Maggie was alive. He couldn't believe that after all these years he'd be seeing her again. Hope flared; their happy ending might no longer exist solely in his dreams.
He reigned in his emotions, trying to calm himself. He had to do this right. If he screwed up it might mean losing Maggie, if she wasn't lost to him already. The most important thing would be getting her to believe his explanation. It was true, but he wouldn't blame her if she didn't accept it, it sounded farfetched even to his own ears.
He tensed as he thought of another possibility, one that was far more disturbing: what if she'd moved on? Gods, it had been three years. She could have a boyfriend for all he knew. He felt sick, imaging her with someone else the way she'd been with him.
Zak pushed himself out of bed. He hoped Lee had a plan, because if not he was going to take things into his own hands. He wasn't waiting a second longer.
Maggie had to practically drag herself back to the bunkroom from the mess. She'd thought that knowing Zak was okay would bring her some sort of comfort, and it would allow her to finally get a good night's rest, but that was far from being the case. Her brief conversation with the CAG had instead caused her to fixate on Zak even more.
She inhaled slowly as she walked, trying to calm both her racing mind and heart. Zak was alive. He was in sickbay, but more importantly, he'd be released soon. Galactica was a huge ship, but she was still bound to run into him at some point. Gods, what would she say to him? Should she even say anything? A part of her wanted to keep trying to hate him for what he'd done. After all, he deserved it, but another more insistent part of her kept saying that it was pointless to waste so much energy on trying to hate one man.
But what did that leave her with, a grudging truce due to the lack of other options? Yet she wasn't even sure that that would work. Seeing him around the ship, day in and day out, possibly with Starbuck by his side was sure to be enough to drive her crazy. The last thing she needed was the constant reminder of how she hadn't been good enough.
Maggie was so lost in her thoughts that she walked directly past the CAG as she rounded the corner that lead to the bunkroom. A second after entering, she jumped, realizing she wasn't alone, and there was, in fact, someone sitting in a chair at the center table. A moment later she realized that person was Zak.
Suddenly her nerves were on edge, and for a second Maggie thought she might lose her breakfast. Her immediate reaction was to think she wasn't prepared for this meeting. A rush of old emotions followed, their strength enough to almost make her stagger. She was even more unprepared for the look on Zak's face. He was smiling with relief, and the fluorescent lights caused the tears in his eyes to glisten. "Gods, you're really here."
Maggie opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She tried again and all that emerged was, "Zak."
He stood up and began walking towards her slowly.
"What are you doing here?" She blurted out. He winced at the contempt in her tone, but didn't stop until he was standing only a few feet in front of her. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage, partly out of his close proximity and partly because of all the feelings flowing through her.
"I needed to see you." His voice was calm, patient even. It had the same warm tone that he used to use often when he talked to her. At one time it had been soothing and pleasant, but currently it only set her on edge.
When he reached forward with one shaking and tentative hand, Maggie pulled back out of his reach. Her body was trembling and she felt unsteady on her feet. "I have to go." She turned around abruptly.
Zak's soft grasp on her arm stopped her instantly. For a moment neither of them moved. Maggie felt tears building up in her eyes. The mere contact of his hand against her bare arm was enough to bring back a flood of memories, which made her remember how it had all ended.
"Maggie, please listen to me. Let me explain."
She wrenched her arm free of his hand and whipped around to glare at him, anger overpowering her other emotions. "Why? I don't owe you anything!" Zak opened his mouth to reply, but she interrupted him. "You dumped me for her."
He shook his head forcefully before staring her straight in the eye. "No, I didn't. Maggie, I never wanted to break up with you."
His voice was so sincere that it forced her to pause and listen to him intently.
"I loved you… And I still love you."
Maggie choked on her breath. She must have heard him wrong. But there he was, looking at her like he used to, like she was everything to him. She swallowed once, the action audible in the silence of the room. "Then why did you?" Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she awaited his response.
Sadness filled his eyes. "I didn't. That was a cylon."
"No. You're lying. Everyone thought you died in a viper crash. The only explanation is that the cylons faked your death."
"No, Maggie," Zak replied quietly. "That isn't the only explanation."
She inhaled shakily. Something in the way he was talking, and the way he was looking at her penetrated the fog of shock, weakening her resolve and forcing the next words from her mouth. "What are you talking about?"
Zak took a deep breath before launching into his explanation. "The cylons captured me one night when I was on my way back to the dorms. I was replaced with a cylon modeled after me. His assignment involved making Kara fall in love with him, so the first thing he did upon getting there was break up with you."
Maggie shook her head as she tried to set everything straight in her mind. It sounded like some bizarre concocted story, but Zak had never lied to her before. Could it really be true?
She'd always thought there was something wrong about Zak's sudden change of heart and their unexpected breakup. Thinking about his explanation, she realized that no matter how unlikely it was, it felt true.
"Oh my gods," she whispered under her breath as the full magnitude of his story hit her, causing something to shift inside of her.
Before she even knew she was moving, Maggie had thrown herself into Zak's arms. She clung onto him for dear life, while years of emotions found their release. As she sobbed against his shoulder, he held her close, stroking her back softly while he whispered soothing words into her hair.
Zak wouldn't have been able to stop the tears if he wanted to, so he let them roll down his cheeks. He held Maggie so tightly he was afraid she couldn't breathe, but his muscles wouldn't relax. She was alive, not killed in the attacks like he'd thought, and she was on Galactica. He couldn't believe he was holding her again. He felt high from a rush of adrenaline and the intensity of his emotions.
"It's okay," he whispered over and over again as Maggie cried into his shoulder. He rubbed her back until the crying subsided and her breathing returned to normal, but even then she didn't lessen her hold on him. He knew it was because she was probably still trying to take it all in. A part of him was glad, because he was afraid that at any moment he'd wake up and learn it was all a dream.
When she did pull back it was with reluctance, and she only moved enough so she could look at him. They simply stared at each other for a few seconds. Maggie looked like she was trying to think of something to say, and a few times she opened her mouth to talk, but nothing came out.
Zak wasn't sure what to say either, so he settled for "Hi."
Maggie looked at him in disbelief before her eyes brightened and she laughed. "Hi," she responded quietly.
Zak felt a million times lighter just from seeing her smile again, and he knew he was grinning like a love struck idiot in return.
"I don't know what to say," she admitted.
Zak shook his head slightly. "Neither do I." He paused. "Except I love you."
There were standing so close that he could easily see more tears welling up in her eyes, and he was just barely able to catch her reply. "I love you too." She inhaled deeply before repeating the words louder.
Zak's heart soared and his instinctive reaction was to lean down and kiss Maggie. He moved slowly, and her lips met his halfway. Kissing her was intoxicating, and the moment she parted her lips, he lost himself in the kiss. His hands reached up to cup her face, and he moved his mouth against hers softly, but with a purpose.
Maggie responded by meeting his tender actions with her own. Her lips were soft, just like he remembered, and the way they caressed his own made him feel alive again. He thought he might have whispered her name, but he couldn't be sure because he was so immersed in the kiss.
At some point Zak realized that they needed to stop because there had to be a time limit on how long two people could go without taking a proper breath. He felt lightheaded and knew he was fast approaching that limit. Regretfully, Zak broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Maggie's. He took deep breaths, trying to regain some oxygen, and although Maggie was breathing heavily she didn't seem to be nearly as winded as he was.
"Zak, are you okay?" She asked, worry filling her voice. She placed her hands on his arms, just above his elbows. "You look really pale."
"I'm fine," he said, even though he knew it was a lie. The lightheadedness hadn't gone away completely, and he realized the doctor obviously had a good reason for still keeping him in sickbay.
"No, you're not." Maggie's voice was stubborn, but still anxious. "Sit down," she half-offered, half-ordered as she turned him around and steered him toward the chair he'd been sitting in before.
He took the seat and Maggie hovered over him looking scared. "I'll be fine," he said, and he meant it. His body was tired, and was complaining over the impromptu escape from bed rest, but he was okay. He reached up to grab Maggie's wrist, tugging her until she was standing directly in front of him. "I'm just not supposed to be out of sickbay yet."
"What? Then why are you here? Gods Zak, if…"
He smiled up at her. "I needed to see you." It was the plain and simple truth. She still looked worried, and he pulled her down so she was straddling his lap. Her hands rested on his shoulders, but her touch was feather light, as if she was afraid she'd break him. "Hey," he said quietly. "I'm not exactly back to full strength yet, but I'm okay."
He tilted his head, kissing her gently, and her hands came to rest more firmly on his shoulders. When they broke apart she looked at him intently. "You're too thin," she stated, obvious concern lacing her voice. He knew that she was taking in just exactly how much the tanks were hanging on him instead of fitting tightly like they should.
He nodded. "The cylons didn't exactly give us the luxury of regular meals. There were a few scraps here and there, but never anything extravagant."
Sadness and sympathy lined her face, and he knew she was thinking about his imprisonment. "I'm so sorry, Zak. I'll do whatever I can. Maybe I can help with your physio, or…"
"Shh," he said, trying to calm her. "You've already helped so much."
Confusion clouded her features. "I don't understand."
Zak's hands found their way to her hips, and he pulled her further up on his lap. "I was a prisoner of the cylons for three years, and the only thing that kept me sane was thinking of you. Remembering the year we were together, and imagining how great things were and how they could have been for us was what stopped me from losing my mind."
She held him in a strong hug, "I still want to do whatever I can."
He hugged her back just as tightly. "Thank you."
"I love you Zak," she whispered. "I never stopped. Even when I thought that you dumped me for Starbuck, I couldn't get over you. I tried, and I tried to hate you, but I just couldn't. I couldn't let you go."
Zak felt a surge of sympathy. He couldn't imagine how hard the past three years had been on her, and although he couldn't give them back to her, he could give her the future. "I love you Maggie, and I hope we can have another chance."
He felt her smile against his shoulder before hearing her reply, "There's nothing I want more."
Maggie didn't want to let go. She wanted to stay on Zak's lap, her arms around him forever, but she knew that couldn't happen. Not only was she due on shift in less than thirty minutes, Zak was supposed to still be in the infirmary. She allowed herself another ten or so minutes of indulgence before she pulled back.
Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at him again. He was really here… She ran one hand lightly down the side of his face to be sure. Zak smiled at her before wrapping a hand around her neck and bringing her down for another achingly sweet kiss. It tugged at her heart and she wasn't sure that she'd physically be able to leave.
He must have seen the uncertainty on her face because he said, "I'll still be here when you've finished CAP."
Her eyebrows raised in surprised. "How did you…"
Zak grinned. "Lee told me. He was the one who helped spring me from sickbay. He had to reschedule a meeting with Tigh, and then convince Cottle to let me out for a bit. I didn't know if we were going to get here in time to catch you before your shift."
Maggie was about to reply when she heard a sharp knock on the hatch, and then the CAG's voice. "Zak, we have to go or Cottle will have both our asses."
Zak rolled his eyes at his brother's words and Maggie laughed. "It's true though Zak, you need to get back to sickbay."
He nodded. "And you need to get ready for CAP."
In silent agreement, they began to move. She hovered as Zak slowly pushed himself up from the chair. He seemed okay, but she wasn't taking any chances. They started to walk towards the hatch and Maggie slipped an arm around his waist.
He looked down at her with an inquisitive glance. "I'm fine."
She smiled. "I know."
They opened the hatch to find Apollo leaning against the bulkhead. Maggie suddenly felt embarrassed and her arm dropped back to her side. It wasn't that she was embarrassed to be seen with Zak, it was the fact that she was in love with her boss' brother. It had seemed odd enough the night before when she'd gone to talk to him about Zak, but now the uncomfortable feeling was magnified.
"Racetrack," he said, acknowledging her presence.
"Sir," she responded stoically.
Zak just took one look at each of them and said, "You guys are just going to have to get used to this." Then he leaned down and kissed Maggie tenderly. In that second she forgot about everything, including her CAG, and kissed him back.
He smiled as he pulled back. Then he leaned down again, but this time to press his lips lightly against the tip of her nose. She felt an almost forgotten warmth spread through her body at the loving gesture. It was something no guy had ever done before. It was purely a Zak thing.
"I'll see you later."
She nodded, a warm grin on her face. "Yeah."
Maggie barely made it to the hangar deck on time, but when she did she was glad to see her ECO already there, and more importantly that it was Helo. He was the least likely out of any of them to become angry over her tardiness.
"Hey," she acknowledged as she climbed into the raptor.
"Hey yourself!" Helo responded cheerfully.
She moved to the front of the ship and did her preflight in complete silence, needing all of her concentration to focus on the task at hand and not everything that had just happened with Zak. As she checked off the last thing on her list, her mind couldn't be stopped from wandering, and she knew she was about to flying the longest CAP of her entire life.
"You okay?" Helo asked from behind her, obviously noting her silence.
She turned to look at him, and as she thought about his question a smile formed on her face. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."
TBC
A/N: I'd just like to thank everyone who's reading this story. Your feedback is always so motivating and I can't thank you enough. I do my best to reply to all the signed reviews with the reply feature on this site, but for those that I miss: Thank you!!