Lee was just finishing off the week's flight schedule when someone knocked sharply on the hatch of his office. "Come in," he said reluctantly, expecting one of his pilots had come to complain about something. He was more than surprised when he looked up to find his father in front of his desk. He moved to stand up, but Bill shook his head and took a seat in the single chair opposite the desk.
"I'm not here for business."
"Oh." These days that meant only one thing: Zak.
"I wanted to be the one to give you the good news. Cottle's releasing your brother from sickbay today."
The Bill's grin was infectious and Lee found himself smiling back. "That's great, Dad." Lee was relieved to hear it. After he'd temporarily sprung Zak from sickbay, Cottle had decided to keep him for another five days. Secretly Lee had been afraid that he'd made the wrong decision by caving in to Zak's persistence.
"What time is Cottle letting him out?"
"In a couple of hours. I have a shift in CIC, but was hoping you might be able to be there."
Lee nodded. "Of course."
"I have a feeling Racetrack will be with him as soon as she's off shift, but I thought it'd be better if you were there too."
His father was right; there was a very good chance that Racetrack would be with Zak when he was discharged. Ever since Zak had talked to her that day in the bunkroom she'd been glued to his side, only leaving when her duties as a pilot forced her to.
Lee pushed back the acrid feeling rising in his gut. He was happy for his little brother. He had no right to be jealous, but whenever he saw Zak with Maggie, or thought about what they had, unwanted resentment flared up. He didn't know what was worse—so desperately wanting that kind of happiness, or the woman he wanted it with having no idea how he felt.
"Lee?"
He shook his head as he focused his thoughts on the present. "Sorry, Dad. You were saying?"
"Are you okay?" Lee was surprised to hear an underlying tone of concern in his father's voice.
"I'm fine. Just a little tired. Continue…"
Bill looked at him warily before accepting his words. "Zak will be staying in the senior pilots' bunkroom."
"What?"
"I know he isn't technically a pilot, but there are only so many bunks available on the ship."
"Dad, I know that, but…"
"It was either that or he bunked with the deckhands. I decided it was better if he was around people he knew." He fixed Lee with a stern look. "You should be happy Lee, he's your brother."
"What about Kara?" Lee finally got out. It had been the first thing to come to his mind. She was already a mess, and living in the same bunkroom as Zak was only going to make it worse.
"She can handle it."
Lee wanted to scream that she couldn't. He wanted to tell his dad that she was barely coping as it was, and that this might be enough to push her over the edge. But he couldn't say anything. His father didn't know about Kara's almost suicide attempt in the arms locker, he didn't know about the nightmares, and he certainly didn't know about her risky flying. If Lee said anything then his father would judge her unfit to fly and revoke her flight status. Flying, was one of the few things Kara had left and Lee wouldn't be responsible for taking that stability away from her.
"Lee, I know this is hard on Kara, but she's a soldier. She'll pull through."
Lee bit the inside of his lip, forcing himself to remain quiet. When he relieved the pressure of teeth on tender skin, the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. Yet he still didn't say anything.
Obviously there wasn't anything Lee could do that would change his father's mind, not without telling him the whole story. He would just have to make sure that he told her as soon as he could, because warning her was all that he could do.
Zak sat perched on the edge of his infirmary bed, waiting somewhat impatiently for either Maggie or his brother to show up. He was finally being released from sickbay, but he had no idea where he was supposed to go. He assumed that his father had issued him a spot in crew quarters, but there were dozens of bunkrooms aboard every battlestar and he wasn't going to try every one of them.
Just as he was about to ask one of the nurses to page someone, Maggie walked through the far end of sickbay, her hair damp from a post CAP shower. For a second Zak forgot about his pending release, and took in the sight of her. He swore that he felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn't believe how lucky he was.
He caught her gaze a second after she came through the hatch. He smiled, feeling his entire face light up. She smiled back, but the look turned to worry when he stood up and made his way towards her.
"What are you doing out of bed?" She asked demandingly the second she made it to him. She rested her hands on his upper arms, looking nervous.
He pulled her into a comforting hug and kissed the top of her head gently. "I'm being released," he explained.
"What?" She questioned as she pulled back just enough to look at him. "Are you serious?" Hope filled her eyes.
He nodded. "One hundred percent."
"When?" She asked excitedly.
He leaned down to brush his lips lightly over the tip of her nose. "Right now." He wouldn't have been able to keep the enthusiasm out of his voice if he'd tried.
"Congratulations," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.
"Thanks," he whispered softly against her lips. He desperately wanted to deepen the kiss, but knew that he couldn't. They were in the middle of sickbay. Plus, there would be plenty of time for that later. He felt his cheeks get warm and flushed from anticipation—it had been so long…
A quiet noise behind Maggie broke his train of thought and he broke the kiss and looked over her shoulder, finding an almost embarrassed looking Lee.
"Hey," Zak acknowledged happily as he let his hands drop from Maggie's waist so that she could stand beside him.
"Dad told me Cottle's finally letting you out of here."
Zak beamed. "Good news does travel fast!"
Lee smiled back, but Zak was quick to notice that the emotion didn't reach his eyes. Something was bothering his brother, and Zak was sure he'd need only one guess to determine which person that thing was connected to.
"Ready to get out of here?" Lee asked.
"Yeah," Zak replied, deciding not to press the other issue for now. "So I take it that you know where I'm bunking."
"Senior pilots' bunkroom," was the terse reply.
Zak sighed. "Lee, I'm not a pilot."
His brother nodded in agreement. "I know that, but Dad wants you in there."
Lee's tone was harsh and Zak was taken by surprise. "And you don't," Zak stated.
Lee opened his mouth to protest, but Zak cut him off.
"No. I know you don't, I just don't know why." But then the look on his brother's face gave it away and he knew exactly why: Kara. "Never mind," he added, his voice softening.
He understood. His brother loved Kara; of course anything that had the potential to hurt her would make him upset. Zak wondered if she knew about the sleeping arrangements yet, and if she didn't, he wondered how she would react. He didn't know Kara, but he knew what the cylons had done. The last thing that he wanted was to make things harder on her.
"Lee, maybe I can find a rack somewhere else."
Zak noticed Maggie giving him a questioning look. He shook his head slightly before turning his attention back to Lee.
Lee sighed. "There's only a few available on the ship right now. Plus I tried talking to Dad, but he's convinced that she'll be fine."
Zak sympathized with his brother. Lee had been doing everything he could to help Kara, and it must seem like he was hitting a roadblock. All Zak could do was offer his brother an encouraging smile, and hope that things would get easier soon.
"So… Are we ready to go?"
Lee nodded. "Yeah…"
"Captain Adama please report to the port side hangar deck immediately. I repeat, Captain Adama please report to the port side hangar deck immediately."
Lee let out a quiet, but vehement curse. Zak was certain that the reason for his brother's anger had nothing to do with the fact that he was missing Zak's discharge.
"I'm sorry Zak. I have to…"
"Go," Zak insisted.
Lee nodded. "Racetrack, can you…?"
"Sure thing, Sir."
"Thanks," he replied as he took off at a run for the hangar deck, leaving Maggie behind to show Zak to his new quarters.
Maggie pushed open the hatch and gestured for Zak to go in ahead of her. "Here we are." She closed the hatch behind her, but didn't dog it. There wasn't anyone else in the bunkroom, but she didn't want to be presumptuous. She pointed past Zak, indicating an empty bottom rack. A few days ago it had had an occupant, but with the cylons attacking them more than ever, they were losing pilots.
"Thanks, Mags," Zak replied, but he didn't move towards it. Instead he turned around and looked directly at her. She wasn't surprised by the intensity of his gaze, but it caused a coil of warmth to form deep in her lower belly. That didn't surprise her either; nothing had ever compared to her time with Zak, and she didn't expect it to be any different now.
Suddenly her mouth felt dry and her hands were clammy. "Do you want me to lock the hatch?" She questioned hesitantly.
Zak gave her a nervous smile. "Only if you want to."
She better and more confident knowing that Zak was feeling the same way about it as her. With sure actions she picked up the piece of metal from the shelf beside the hatch and pushed it through the wheel. Turning around she found Zak standing only a step in front of her.
They both moved to close the distance at the same time and Maggie was immediately wrapped up in Zak's embrace. His lips met hers for a kiss, but unlike the one in sickbay, this one was heated. Maggie parted her mouth and ran her tongue along Zak's lips, seeking the entrance that he so happily granted.
Maggie got lost in the feeling of their intertwined tongues until she felt Zak's hands cupping her bottom and pulling her even closer to him. Every nerve became acutely aware of sensation: Zak's firm, but soft pressure of his hands on her backside, wet heat where their mouths were joined, fabric scraping overly sensitive nipples, the hardness of Zak's erection pressed between them, growing dampness between her legs…
"Zak," she whispered fervently against his mouth. She thought she might have heard her name in return, but it could just as easily have been the sound of their heaving breathing playing tricks with her ears.
Soon Zak's hands were hovering near the bottom edge of her tanks. She placed her hands on top of his and together they pulled the restricting garments free of her body. Not half a second later his tanks followed and Maggie's nearly naked torso was pressed against Zak's chest. He was still thin—not nearly as filled out as he'd been prior to the cylon imprisonment—but the physio had helped him regain some of his muscle mass and Maggie couldn't resist running her hands down the planes of his stomach, only stopping when she touched the fabric of his pants.
She looked up at Zak before pulling him down for another searing kiss. His hands held her waist tightly, and together they began to maneuver towards the bed. Just as she felt the back of her knees hit the mattress, she heard, "Love you."
She fought back tears as she fell back on the bed and pulled Zak down on top of her. "Love you too."
Whatever initial hesitance there had been on Zak's part was gone, and he tugged off the remainder of their clothes. Hands began to reacquaint themselves with once familiar territory, and with every second Maggie became more aroused. She didn't know about Zak, but she knew that she couldn't wait any longer.
With an agile move she flipped them so that she was on top. Her eyes locked with his and their movements slowed. Zak held her hips securely and guided her until she was hovering just above him. Slowly she lowered herself down, her eyes not breaking contact with his the entire time.
For a few seconds she didn't move; she was unable to do more than take in the sensation of once again being with the man she loved. She could feel damp trails of tears on her cheeks, but didn't move to wipe them away. Through her blurred vision she saw the tears on Zak's face too. Leaning down, she kissed him soundly. "I love you."
"I love you too."
Maggie gave him a watery smile and braced her hands on his shoulders before beginning to move her hips slowly. Zak's sharp intake of breath matched her own, and when his fingers flexed against her skin, hers did the same against his. The heady sensations were almost overpowering, and Maggie felt herself speeding toward release.
She wanted to draw it out, to make it last longer, but it had been much too long. Her body was almost moving on its own accord and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold off. The look on Zak's face told her it was the same for him. Two more twists of her hips sent them both over the edge, and their names escaped from each other's lips.
Afterwards, Maggie lay on her side, with Zak's chest pressed up against her back, and his arms wrapped securely around her. He placed achingly sweet kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. She didn't want to move, but her practical side kicked in. "We should get dressed," she said quietly. "People will be wanting into the bunkroom soon."
Zak pulled her more tightly against his chest. "In a few minutes," he whispered against her bare shoulder. "I'm still trying to convince myself that this is real."
Kara pulled her arm back and let the punch fly, not pulling it even the slightest. Her gloved fist hit the bag with a satisfyingly loud thud and it swung away before coming back into contact with her other fist.
Again and again she pounded the bag, keeping up the repetitious movements even when the muscles in her arms burned with complaint. Sweat formed a constant trickle down her spine, dampening her tanks and making them clutch at her skin. Most of her hair had freed itself from the tie that had been holding it back, and with every punch it swayed in front of her face, momentarily blocking her vision. But in spite of all that, she kept going.
She'd been at it for nearly an hour straight, but she wasn't stopping until her body forced her to. Only then would she be tired enough. She'd learnt that the only way to stop the nightmares was to thoroughly exhaust herself, so that's what she did. Every night she worked out until she was so drained that she couldn't see straight. Only then would she hit her rack.
Consecutive nights of the same grueling routine made exhaustion ever easier to find, and after a few more minutes Kara felt as if her body was about to object to her brutal treatment of it by passing out. She stopped her attack on the bag and stood back, letting it swing to a stop while she hunched over, trying to catch her breath. The rank smell of the gym hit her full force; mixing with the already present nausea from exertion, it caused bile to rise in her throat. She swallowed twice, forcing it back down.
She grimaced as she realized that she couldn't even remember the last time she'd worked out for fun. Suddenly she missed it; the time she and Lee had spent trying to best each other in the gym, and running laps around the ship while he sang those stupid academy songs. The memory brought a ghost of a smile to her lips for just a second. Those had been the good days, and now she couldn't help but wonder if there would ever be any more.
Her thoughts immediately turned back to Lee. He'd constantly been there for her since she'd found out the truth about Zak. He was always worrying, and hovering, even when she didn't want him to be. It scared her, knowing that he cared so much. But at the same time, she couldn't help but feel lucky. Very few people had someone that they could rely on so fully.
She thought about her vague memories from the night she'd contemplated killing herself. There were times when she could swear Lee had said he loved her. But he hadn't. She'd been imagining it—she had to be.
She'd be lying if she said that they weren't any feelings there on her part. There had been for quite some time, but Kara had become a master of ignoring them, at least until recently. Knowing that there was no longer a dead fiancée standing between them made her feelings all that more real.
But Lee hadn't said that he loved her, and she wasn't going to do anything that might screw up the most important relationship in her life. Like she'd been doing for months, Kara vowed to ignore the feelings until they went away… if they went away. And even if on some small chance Lee had said those three words, nothing could happen between them anyway. There was no way in hell that she would have her heart broken again.
Kara forced herself to stand upright and make her way over to the bench to collect her water bottle and gym bag before hitting the showers. On her way back to the bunkroom she ran into Narcho, who appeared to be heading off for a night shift on CAP.
"Hey, Starbuck," he said pleasantly.
She felt her anger flaring up, but before she could say or do anything he was talking again. "Have you seen the new guy in our bunkroom?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
He took a step back upon hearing the sharpness in her voice, but he still replied. "There's a new guy. I think he's the CAG's brother or something."
Kara's entire body stiffened and she began to panic. This was the last thing she needed—she couldn't deal with it right now. She turned flat on her heel and moved as fast as she could in the opposite direction from the bunkroom. She couldn't believe that Lee hadn't warned her.
TBC