Author: Skytate17

Title: Pressure

Summary: They say high school changes everyone..

Note: here is the last of the group…. Bridge ladies and gentleman!

Chapter 5 - Not So Great, Like, Totally

So, like, Fergie's kinda my hero. For serious.

Every song she puts out is like, oh my GOD! Brilliance. I met her this summer too, which is totally why she's my hero. When I met her, she told me my hair was absolutely gorgeous and always keep them that way or else dye them.

Which is exactly why I had a hair appointment yesterday.

Now my hair is beautiful. I totally spent like an hour on it this morning just to make it perfect. It is my senior year, ya know.

School's not a walk in the park for me though. I get rediculed for everything I do. My girlies keep me strong though; I love them all. They're basically all I got, since the boys stay away from me. They think I'm an alien or something.

No, they actually scream remarks at me. The same ones each time.

The main one is fag. I get called a fag almost once a day. By any random person, usually guys though. No girl has ever called me one, and I don't know why, because I am one.

That's right. I'm gay.

And I'm proud of it too.

It's not like I'd let my sexuality hold me back. My sexuality makes me who I am, and I love that. But my life isn't great, no, it's not at all. My twin sister moved away from here last year, and no one has seen her since. No one knows if she's dead, alive, or even in this country anymore. She left me here, to live with my messed up mother and father, who don't even really pay attention to me anyways, since I'm never home. When I am home, my mother always hangs with me. We talk a lot, since my dad hates my guts, and doesn't talk to me anymore.

Last month, I came out. I told my parents I'm gay. My mom cried, harder than I've ever seen her or anyone in my life cry. She hugged me, and sobbed into my shoulder for nearly an hour.

My dad on the other hand, walked out of the house, and didn't come back for a week. Since then, he hasn't spoken a word to me, and whenever I'm in the same room as him, he gives me these looks that are so hurtful that I can't even begin to explain. He's always hated homosexuals, which has been kind of hard for me throughout my life, since I figured out that I .. you know, don't exactly find girls hot in any way. Hiding my sexuality from my dad, and my mom too, was hard. I had to fake dates with girls often. Never having a girlfriend freaked my mom out, since she claims that I should be a 'charmer'. Who says charmer?

A month ago..

Bridge, his mom, and his dad sat around the living room. His parents sat next to each other on the couch, Bridge sat on the floor.

"Hurry, I have to get to work soon. What do you have to tell us?," Bridge's dad said.

He looked down at the ground, and played with his hands. It was hard to figure out how to exactly tell his parents this. He'd hidden it from them. He'd lied to them. He should have told them sooner, but he waited. Now it was the moment he'd been trying to avoid for nearly 5 years.

Bridge let out a big sigh, before taking a deep breath. He calmed himself down, and sat straight up, bring his head up, to make complete eye contact with his parents.

"I'm gay," Bridge blurted out. A gasp filled the room, coming from his mother. She brought her hand up to her mouth, tears falling down from her eyes almost immediately. His father stared at him, with a blank expression.

"Dad.. I'm sorry," Bridge whispered. His mother extended her other arm, to wrap it around his dad, but he resisted. He pushed her arm away, slammed his fist down on the coffee table, and ran out of the house, his face filled with anger and red.

Bridge's mom got off of the couch, and ran to her son, engaging him in a tight hug. She sobbed into his shoulder, mumbling things into his ear that he couldn't make out. He soon began to cry, letting it all out. His mom let go of him, and wiped the tears out of his eyes.

"Are you hungry?"

Bridge shook his head no.

"Are you okay?"

Once again, his reply was no.

"Do you wanna be alone?," his mother asked, tears still falling.

Bridge nodded, getting up. He patted his mom on the back, before venturing his way into his room. He practically pounced onto his bed, grabbing a pillow as soon as he laid sprung out on his bed. Bridge stuffed his face into the pillow, and let go. For the next 3 hours, he cried. He bawled. He sobbed. His entire body shook during this. He was still in complete shock, because he'd actually done it. The thing he'd avoided for so long was now out in the open. He was proud of himself, very proud. Even though his parents were devestated, none of that mattered right now. His father cleared his mind. He completely forgot he'd even left the house.

Then it came to him.

His dad was a homophobic.

The smile that was across his face quickly turned to a frown.

Now..

I hated the fact that I was gay when I was younger. At first, I thought I was bisexual, but once I realized it, I knew I wasn't. I always found myself staring at guys, not girls. I always got butterflies around certain guys; never around girls.

That's when I figured out that I wasn't bisexual, no matter how much I wanted to be.

I've hid the fact that I'm gay my entire high school years, from every single person I know. Except from one girl. She came over to my house this summer, since I needed someone to talk to. It was right after I came out to my parents. I felt like pouring my emotions out to someone, and she was the only one I knew I could let it all out, because she'd understand.

Sad thing is, I haven't talked to her since. I think she went to camp, or something. I wish she could have called, texted, emailed, imed, or something. Sometimes I really need someone to talk to, aside from my girls.

My girls .. oh I love them. But sometimes I really hate the fact that I have completely no guy friends. I want at least one, or two. I mean, I have a few, but I never hang out with them, since they too think I'm gay. They get all weird around me sometimes, when they don't even KNOW if I am or not.

At school today, I met a guy. He's a pretty cool dude; he's new, so he hasn't heard any rumors about me yet. At least I don't think so. I guess he's kind of cute .. but I don't find him that attractive. He likes a girl anyways, so I'd never have a chance with him anyways. It's only the first day of school, but of course, my asshole English teacher assigned us with a project already.

The project is to learn about each other. You have to choose 4 people, set up a date, talk to each other, learning about each person's life.

It sounds so effing boring. I don't want to do it.

But I have to. Ugh.

I'm excited about tomorrow though. There's this new thing at our school, called group. It's for teens who just need to talk to other people about issues in their lives, or just need someone to talk to, like a friend. They're separated into grades, so I'll be with teens who have problems that are my age, which is TOTALLY annoying. Seniors are so annoying. They cry over anything.

But I'm going anyways. I need at least some people to talk to.