A Sardonic Liaison

30 Drabbles for Grimmjow and Ichigo

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Chapter Title: Sweet Tooth

Author: gogodgene

Pairing: Grimmjow x Ichigo Isshin x Ryuuken: If you look REALLY HARD, squint, and turn your head to a 90 degree angle.

Fandom: Bleach

Theme: #23, "Candy"

Rating: M Innuendo

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. Alas, everything belongs to Kubo Tite.

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Ichigo happens to love a lot of things, contrary to popular belief. He loves his family, his friends, women on the beach in barely-there bikinis, his sister's cooking, fighting Hollows, winning, and sex with a certain bat-shit crazy Arrancar. There's only one thing he loves more than anything in the world--even more than Grimmjow's tongue (and he's love that quite a lot). In fact, he would marry it if humans were allowed to marry inanimate objects.

Kurosaki Ichigo loves Pocky.

God, does he love it.

His favorite kind is Choco Banana, and, surprisingly, hates Strawberry. The irony.

He can name all 82 flavors; even five seasonal ones, five regional flavors, and one special occasion that came out in 2001. That's a total of 93 flavors in all.

The person to start this craze was none other than his parents. His mother had bought him a simple box of Chocolate Pocky as one of his birthday gifts when he was six. His father kept indulging this 'tradition' ever after his mother was gone. He even bought a new flavor everytime along with the chocolate. It was really his way of saying, 'Here's your mother's present, and here's mine'.

He loves his dad for doing that.

He'll never let him hear that, though.

Ichigo has yet to try all the flavors, mostly because he has not eaten all five seasonal flavors and missed the one Special Occasion box.

He's not obsessed.

Really.

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It was a hot Sunday afternoon. His father had said that he was going to meet up with an 'old friend' (who apparently was a geek in college, but Ichigo didn't really care and didn't listen either), and his sisters had gone out to a movie. He had decided to stay into today on the off chance that you-know-who would show his sorry ass.

He had left the Shinigami for two weeks without any sign that he could by to visit soon. It had been a shitty week and the teenager could really use a good lay to smooth out his frazzled nerves. Nevermind that there weren't any snacks in the house, so being a vegetable in front of the T.V. today was out of the question. So, instead of just going outside for a walk, he stayed inside with the air conditioning and caught up on some homework.

He might walk later, if he decided it wasn't too hot to do so.

Or, he could deal with that black hole that suddenly appeared in his bedroom.

Wait.

"What the hell?" Ichigo questioned out loud, standing up from his seat. After gawking for a few moments, he looked around his Shinigami badge; which he was always misplacing. Damn his inablitity to keep track of shit. He knelt to look under his bed--he remembered dropping it on the ground after a long night of hollow hunting and had just fell into a coma of exhaustion--, but finding nothing.

"Presentin' already?" Kurosaki bumped his head on the metal bars holding his bed up in surprise of the voice behind. He ferverently rubbed the back of his bruised head and looked behind him to see none other than that smug smile of Grimmjow Jaggerjack. Then, as if finally catch the drift of Jaggerjack's statement, noticed he was on his hands and knees with his ass in the air.

He blushed slightly and sat the fuck down.

"When the fuck did you get here?"

"Didn't ya see my nifty, black, little vortex, there?"

"That thing was yours? Don't be fucking poppin' in when ever the hell you feel like anymore, okay? Freaks me the fuck out. I thought it was the enemy." The Arrancar laughed in tone that said 'you're retarded'.

"Ya must be confused, Kurosaki. I am 'ur enemy. Duh." Ichigo rolled his eyes, moving to sit on the edge of his bed while tending to the nice, big bruise on his head.

"Oh, so what do you call what we're doing? Arch-enemy-fucking?" Grimmjow sighed and sat in the chair across from his Shinigami sex toy.

"No. It's a love, hate thing. You hate to love me, and I love fucking you." The teenager snorts in a 'I can't believe you just fucking said that' kind of way, taking great notice of how the Arrancar across from him is sprawled out nicely all over his chair.

The only thing he hated about the Espada's body was that goddamn hole. It had 'eaten' Grimmjow's abs, and Ichigo's imagination could only do so much.

"Oh. By the way." The Sexta Espada dug around in the pocket of his hakama to produce a small box.

Ichigo's eyes immediately lit up.

He knew that box anywhere.

"Stole these for you." He didn't really care in all actuality that Grimmjow had stolen them; Jaggerjack could've killed somebody for that precious box and Ichigo wouldn't care at the moment. "Saw ya had a bunch of empty boxes of 'em saved up, so I thought ya might like another."

Kurosaki almost dove for that box his Grimmjow's hands.

"Gimme 'em." Ichigo took notice of that sly grin on the Espada's face.

"Do ya like 'em that much?"

"Yes. Now give them." The teenager snatched at the precious box of treats that was pulled away from his grasp. Again. He really hoped that Grimmjow wasn't serious about playing this game with him. He would get VIOLENT if need be. "Grimmjow."

"I went through all that trouble to get these to ya. I think I should get somethin' in return." Ichigo held out his hand, eye twitching. This would get ugly if left in this situation for much longer.

"I'll do anything you want when you let me have the box first."

"Anythin'?"

"I'll let you fuck me into the ground, but I want those first." Grimmjow smiled like a kid in a candy store, and quickly threw Ichigo the box. Even before the teenager could open it, Grimmjow had them both on the ground with himself on top. Kurosaki didn't even mind. He put a stick covered in chocolate into his mouth as the Arrancar smirked over him. "No cryin' 'uncle' after the third time, okay?"

Suddenly, Ichigo didn't think this was a good idea.

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Both Shinigami and Hollow were exhausted after two hours of sex. True to his word, Ichigo hadn't fought to regain any kind of control during their encounter. He had even let Grimmjow screw him from behind; the only position he hated. He didn't like showing his back to people.

Jaggerjack sighed in complete content, resting in the sun on Ichigo's carpet. He had wanted to screw the Vaizard so bad he couldn't bring himself to move both of them to the bed; which was only a staggering foot and five inches away.

"I gotta bring more of those things the next time I come over," the Espada stated, resting himself near Ichigo's neck. Said Shinigami was currenlty eating the rest of his chocolates (which he had eaten in between their resting), and staring up at his ceiling. He had felt extremely cold, now, without any clothes on and the air-conditioner running. So, he let Grimmjow lay almost on top of him for extra warmth. "What are those things anyways?"

"They're Pocky. It's a candy."

"That's the only thing I miss about bein' alive. I got to eat as many sweets as I wanted. Now I can't eat shit." Ichigo looked at him with a confused face.

"You had a sweet tooth?" Grimmjow growled, his secret already given away.

"So!? What'd you think I ate?" Kurosaki shrugged against him.

"I don't know. I figured you for an alcohol and smokin' type of guy."

"Breakfast of fuckin' champions." Jaggerjack sighed, watching as Ichigo nibbled on the Pocky stick, almost jealous. Of course, he didn't fail to notice how Kurosaki would suck off some of the chocolate off the stick, and then lick the remnants. "Oh man. If I had the enegry to be horny right now, I would be." The Shinigami stopped eating his candy to look at the Espada behind him and then back to his candy. He did a second time just to make sure the bastard had been making an innuendo about the biscuit stick.

"Oh. You sick bastard."

Ichigo never looked at a piece of Pocky the same way again.