A Sardonic Liaison

30 Drabbles for Grimmjow and Ichigo

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Chapter Title: Mi Secreto

Author: gogodgene

Pairing: Grimmjow x Ichigo

Fandom: Bleach

Theme: #3, "Jolt!"

Rating: PG 13 Cursing

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. Alas, everything belongs to Kubo Tite.

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Like most secret relationships, they are bound to have some issues with actually keeping the secret. Ichigo doesn't know how hard they've been working to keep his and Grimmjow's relationship--popularly known as 'fuck-sessions' by said Arrancar--a secret. Actually, the only one who's been worried about it is the Shinigami. The Sexta Espada could care less about anyone finding out (except bastard-Aizen), which is probaby why he pops in whenever he feels like it.

But there's been times when they were almost discovered.

Oh, there's been really bad times.

Three times to be exact.

And Ichigo remembers all of them quite well.

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The first time had been on a school morning. Ichigo had woken up a little later than usual, and hadn't taken a shower the night before. The Shinigami decided that personal hygiene was a higher level than school was, so he had hopped into the shower that morning despite the time. This was a bad move on his part in the grand scheme of things, because a certain Arrancar had decided to drop in that day for some 'morning nookie'. Grimmjow had first been slightly surprised to not see Ichigo is his room.

The Sexta Espada had his Shinigami's schedule pretty well mapped out and knew when and what times Kurosaki would be in his room. Not finding his boy-toy didn't deter him, though, and he persistantly searched throughout the house. Of course, he had kept as low a profile as possible, carefully screening his own presence.

Until he found the young Vaizard, of course. Then he couldn't give a shit.

Grimmjow smirked to himself as he took off his Espada uniform in front of the shower drapes. This was new territory to him; Ichigo's shower had been left alone for some odd reason (despite other flat surfaces in the house like the kitchen counter, and the couch, and the dining table...). He intended to make good use of it, now that the opportunity presented itself. Jaggerjack slid open the curtain with a predatory smile on his face, chuckeling when Ichigo stared at him wide-eyed.

"WHAT THE F--?!" But he never gave the boy time to finish his remark. He quickly made his way under the hot, running water and snapped the curtains close. Kurosaki was quickly silenced when thin lips assaulted his, the steaming water making this experience somehow more enjoyable.

If that was possible.

It didn't take long before the Shinigami substitute opened his mouth in need. No matter how many times he denied it, Ichigo was just as horny as his Espada counterpart. Once they began sometime, they never quit.

"Oi, Ichigo!" The teenager clamped down on Grimmjow's tongue.

Totally by accident.

"Mother Fu-!" Kurosaki put a hand over the other's mouth before he finish what he was going to say. He, himself, didn't answer right away, though. His dad had just invaded the bathroom with Grimmjow there. He had to think of something, before his father completely ruined the mood.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, you know you can't curse in this household!"

"You swear all the time," the younger Kurosaki spat back, keeping his hand over Jaggerjack's mouth. The Arrancar didn't enjoy that at all. He simply retaliated by licking Ichigo's palm, which he knew was more sensitive than need be. The Shinigami flinched, elbowing Grimmjow in the side.

Out of reflex, of course.

"I'm different. I'm your father. Now hurry up in that shower, you'll be late for school."

"I'll be late for school anyway!" Suddenly, the situation was pissing him off; not only had his moronic dad just interrupt a very good situation, but now the Sexta Espada to his side wasn't giving up. The Arrancar held Ichigo's wrists tightly together, even as the Shinigami struggled and threatened, just with his eyes, to castrate the Hollow if he didn't stop. The Espada exacted his revenge, his tongue playing against Ichigo's ear. The Shinigami couldn't stop the reflexive shiver that came about due to the action. "Besides, if you don't get out," Ichigo managed to shout at his dad, "I can't get out anytime soon, idiot!"

"Fine, but hurry! You're wasting the hot water!" And with that, Isshin retreated. Ichigo began to wonder slightly why the man had stayed around for so long.

It was as if his father came into the bathroom intentionally just to bug him.

But he couldn't question that now; not with Grimmjow's lips and tongue all over his neck. Along with his counterpart's ministrations and the scare of being caught in the act, he had somehow become aroused.

He was not smiling, though.

"I think ya owe me an apology, Ichi. Ya elbowed me, for fuck's sake."

"Well, maybe you'll stop fucking around when someone else is in the room!" Grimmjow laughed at this.

"Ya can't say ya di'n't like it."

"Fuck you."

"Gladly."

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The second time they were almost caught, was that same day, but later in the afternoon. This was by far the worst case scenario, though, as they would've been caught in the middle of screwing. Not in the middle of something more family-friendly.

Ichigo had cock-blocked Grimmjow that morning, saying that he had to go to school and he deserved to be deprived of sex because he was a 'fucking idiot who won't listen'. Of course, Jaggerjack wouldn't let the kid get away with bossing him around like that and had come back to the house that afternoon. It was the fastest time that Ichigo had ever seen his clothes come off, but after he got over the initial shock, he was soon pleading for more. Kurosaki had concluded that the Espada gave the best blowjobs ever, even if he had never recieved any others from anybody else.

The Shinigami was convinced that the Arrancar was a porn star in his past life. He would've been perfect for the job; sensual tongue, cut muscles, good-looking, and a seven inch cock to top it all off. He was perfect like a banana sundae with two cherries. Perverted images meant throughly.

Ichigo watched intently as a salivia strand, mixed with his precum, came off of his erection and stuck to the end of Grimmjow's tongue. It was downright erotic to see that feral smirk and that image combined into one look on someone's face. The Shinigami could've came right then and there and been happy for the next couple of days.

Grimmjow licked his smiling lips.

"Hey, Ichi..."

"Huh?"

"I wanna take you from behind, so turn over." And suddenly, the Vaizard wasn't so happy.

"What?" He hated that position. It gave the Arrancar so much control; he couldn't stand that smug smile on his face when his ego (among other things) was inflated. "No fucking way."

"C'mon! Ya owe me!" Ichigo continued to frown. Jaggerjack sighed in defeat. "Fine, if that's what ya want, I'm gettin' outta here." Kurosaki could not stop the surprise and sudden refusal of his own idea.

"Wait, what?"

"I'm leavin'. All I wanna do is fuck you from behind, and won't even let me have that. Ya almost bit my tongue in half and ya elbowed me in the ribs. This is how ya say 'Thanks for totally not revealing what the hell we were doing'?" Ichigo blushed in embarassment, almost feeling bad. He was stopped by a voice before he could continue.

"Oi! Ichigo!" Said Shinigami's eyes popped open. Of all the goddamn times Kon could show up. Thank God his door was locked. "What're ya bein' so loud fer? I can hear ya breathin' heavy an' shit in there! What the hell are ya doin'?" The Vaizard was yet again interrupted before he could comment.

"Get outta here ya beast!" Grimmjow yelled to the door, smirking. He was so going to get back at Kurosaki for almost denying him. Twice. "Can't ya tell that Ichigo is busy gettin' fuc-?" A loud crash made up the last of the sentence as Ichigo kicked Grimmjow to the floor.

"Ichigo? Who the hell else is in there?"

"Nobody Kon! Get outta here before I let my sister play dress-up with you again!"

"You're such a damn brat, Ichigo!" And with that, the stuffed animal was gone. Ichigo let out a breath of relief and looked to the Arrancar currently on the floor, looking up at him. There was silence for a moment, both parties glaring at each other. Jaggerjack made no attempt back onto the bed, Kurosaki knowing fully what he was waiting for. The teenager blushed, suddenly not being able to look at the Hollow.

"You gonna fuck me or what?"

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The final time that Ichigo was almost caught with his Arrancar partner, it was the morning after the Kon incident. It was a Sunday, and since Ichigo had no school on Sundays, he had decided to sleep in a little. Grimmjow was surprisingly warm compared to his chilly room, so laying there an extra half hour wouldn't hurt.

Or so he believed.

He had next expected his sisters to come barging into his room at eight in the fucking morning. The Shinigami, with his mastery of reflexes, had sprung up the minute he heard his door open, trying to hide Jaggerjack's body. The Arrancar was such a fucking log when he slept, so there was no chance that he would sit up and be seen.

"Ichigo! Breakfast!" Karin and Yuzu stopped immediately when they saw their brother, almost completely naked.

And was that another body in his bed? It would be suffice to say that both girls' mouths couldn't properly function.

"Hey! I'm not decent, dammit! Didn't dad teach you how to knock?" It was a completely absurd question because even Isshin himself didn't knock on his son's bedroom door. Both girls retreated quickly, trying to forget the fresh memory, and yelling out 'Sorry' as they slammed his door shut. Kurosaki sighed.

This was getting goddamn ridiculous. He turned his tired eyes to the sleeping Hollow and frowned.

"Hey." No response.

"Grimmjow." Still snoozing like a bear in hibernation. Ichigo growled, punching the sleeping Espada in the head.

"Hey, motherfucker! Get up!" Jaggerjack yawned, turning over to look at Kurosaki. He didn't even the bruise forming on the back of his skull.

"Mornin'."

"Don't 'Morning' me, bastard! We almost got caught! Again!"

"Ya handled it, didn't ya?" The Hollow said in a tired voice. He chuckled at the angry expression on his Shinigami's face, patting the other's cheek. "No one knows, so everything's good, yeah?" He pulled the teenager in a kiss, smiling still. Ichigo had noticed long ago that Jaggerjack was almost a completely nicer person in the morning. "Now lay back so I can get my morning cock."

Nevermind.

"You're a fucking bastard, you know that?"

"But I'm you're fucking bastard. Besides, I didn't hear you complaining last night." The Shinigami frowned, finding it impossible to argue.

"Pervert."

From that day on, neither were jolted into surprise by pesky intruders.