Author's Note:

Hey guys...I know it's been along time since I've last update "Gaze Into The Looking Glass", but of course I've been busy with school and stuff. Now, without the process of free education in my way, I can continue with it. So let's see what happens between the Gravitation gang. Enjoy!

Gomen nasai

Chapter Three:

Crossing Lies With Truth

Shuichi

Three days passed since I've arrived at Hiro's place and things been havoc since then. It's like Yuki knows I'm here, but the more Hiro or Ayaka lie for me, the harder it is to persuade him that I'm not here. So I decided to let him talk to me once more, to stop causing trouble for the couple. Besides, I must face my problems and sooner or later I would have to return back to the apartment for my stuff. Till then, I'll start searching for a new place. The next night, Yuki called the house again, but since Hiro and Ayaka went out (I was invited, but declined), he called again. At first, I thought not to answer it, to let the rings echo within the empty house, but I couldn't. After the fifth ring, I picked it up and held it away from my ear again. I didn't want to hear his voice within a close distance.

"Make it quick, I don't really have anything to say to you right now." Once again, my harshness shoned.

I could hear him take a deep breath, his usual whimper gone and the real Yuki returned. Good, I didn't want to talk to him when he was vulnerable. "Shuichi, why haven't you called me?"

Why must he ask such a rhetorical question? Sure, for a novelist, he's stupid. At the time, I sat in the study, trying to work on a goodbye speech for NG when I schedule a press conference. I know, selfish as usual, but I couldn't stay with the company anymore. I might go solo like Ryuichi and live in America or something. Hiro is able to manage on his own, he has mad guitar skills and so many bands would immediately take him. Even Suguru (I stopped messing with him) could find a new band to play for. Pushing the chair on its two back legs, I balanced out the possible answers to give him. One, I could just tell him I hate him so much that I destroyed my cell phone in anger or I could just tell him that I don't have to call someone who doesn't give a rat's ass about me. I decided to take a different approach.

"Tell me Yuki, does it even matter if I called you or not? Why would I even want to talk to you, after what you done to me?" I asked him, my emotion stable as I listened for his reply.

When he did, he let out a sigh, like this discussion was something troublesome or whatever. "Shuichi...you know I love you and the thing between Seguchi and I was a fling-"

"A fling that went on for two fucking years? Seriously, how stupid do you think I am? I'm not the same Shuichi who would be naive and let everything pass. I'm tired Yuki. I'm sick and tired of hearing everyone bullshit. Just tell me why you done what you did and from there, I decided how to end it all." I didn't want to waste time with this conversation. I could feel my body tremble with anger and my vision cross with white.

Yuki took his time to answer my response, knowing if he said the wrong thing, this would end up badly. Technically. either way, I'm ending our relationship, but it would be nice to hear his reasons for doing what he did. I know Mika's doing the same thing to Seguchi, but her way might be harsher than asking for an explanation. Finally, what seemed like forever, he spoke once again.

"I don't know what to tell you, Shuichi. All I can say is that things went the wrong way and we ended up doing something that we both regret." That was it, his big excuse and for the first time in my twenty-three years of life, I couldn't take it anymore.

I literally snapped, I went crazy...even if it was on the phone.

"YOU FUCKING LIAR! HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU REGRET SOMETHING CAUSE APPARENTLY YOU AND SEGUCHI DIDN'T! DON'T TRY TO SUGARCOAT YOUR LIES WITH MORE LIES, YOU FUCKING PRICK. YOU KNOW WHAT, HOW ABOUT THIS...WE'LL END IT ONCE AND FOR ALL. YOU CAN GO FUCK ANYBODY YOU WANT AND I'LL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER. DON'T CALL HERE ANYMORE OR I'M GOING TO SUE."

"Shuichi...please don't be this way, just listen to what I have to-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GOODBYE YUKI! DON'T COME NEAR ME OR MY FRIENDS." I didn't even give him another chance by time I slammed the phone back onto the receiver.

There, I could feel everything I held in for so long just pour out more. I was angry. I was hurt. All I wanted to do was go back to the apartment and just knock him around. My mentality was slowly diminishing with each thought of him. I needed to blow off some steam, but I didn't want to do it alone. With that, and a couple of deep, shallow breaths, I'd picked up the phone once more. I knew one person who's willing to spear some hours to come have a drink with me. Dialing the number and listening to each ring, the phone picked up on the third. A sweet, familar voice I longed to hear spoke and I could feel everything cool down again.

"Mika...I know we don't get along, but this is Shuichi. Meet me at Ichi's in two hours, my treat."

Two hours seemed to pass quickly and I arrived there on time (which is a shock) to the one place I always go. The line outside of Ichi's was long, but since I'm famous and an usual customer, the bouncer let me in. Ichi's is the one nightclub that everyone enjoyed going to. Besides the loud techno music, the drinks they create are great. Here, you won't find your typical Cosmos and Mojitoes. They create experimentation that every customer would die for. Tonight, I was going to get the strong experiment they'll create and hopefully get drunk off my ass and stumble home feeling invincible. When I entered the double black doors, I was greeted by the wonderful sounds of techno. Everyone who was already in the club danced the night away on the dance floor, their clothing glowing under the black fluorescent light. Those who didn't feel like dancing chilled at the tables that lined around the floor. Above my head, the lights flashed rapidly and I forgot that tonight is the block night and drinks are half off.

Without wasting time, I headed towards the back where the bar took up most of the club. Along my way, I greeted the usual people who, just like me, thought spending their time in a club would help. My eyes wondered the area, seeing who's who and somewhat. My eyes finally landed on the one person of the evening and she sat in the far corner of the bar. If someone were to look at Mika, they wouldn't think she was even a mother of two wonderful kids. She wore a black, strapless dress with pumps. Her brown hair was pinned up in a nice style and her make-up was light. Already, she ordered one of Ichi's experiments and with her fingers, she played with the straw in the tumble. Her eyes focused on the dancer floor while she remained impassive. Deciding to make my presence known, I took a seat next to her in a vacant stool and waved for the bartender. Another smile crossed my lips as I ordered the usual, which is called Death. The woman gave me a sweet, sexy smile and I winked at her as she left to retrieve my drink. Mika must have heard our interaction cause she turned her attention back to the bar and her narrow eyes settled on me. She gave me a simple look before she acknowledge me.

"I thought you were going to be late as usual, Shindou-san." said Mika.

I grinned at her when I saw my drink appear in front of me. With a simple nod, I played with the straw before testing my drink. "I haven't been late for anything for the last two years now. Things change, people change, you know what I mean."

She chuckled half-heartedly as she sipped her drink. Copying her actions, I let the sweetness of death pour down my throat and touch my stomach in a painful drop. There's a reason why it's called Death, the contents that's within this drink would make you turn white with fear. "I know what you mean, I've been doing alout of changing myself. It's hard though, you know now that I'm going to be a single mom with two kids to raise. Of course, I'm going to make sure he'll pay child support."

"That's good, he better take care of his children. How are they anyway?"

She shrugged her shoulders as she finished off the remainer of her drink. "They are alright, yesterday I had to explain to them what was going on. I mean, you would think in this day and age, children would understand. Airyn cried her heart out all day and Kai just ran to his room."

"They're young, Mika-san. You can't expect them to understand the concepts of their parents breaking up. Don't worry, I know they'll come around. Besides, he'll see them...on weekends or whatever."

She sighed deeply, as the bartender brought her another drink. I knew this was more pressure on her than it was on me. She still can't except the fact that her husband secretly cheated on her and with her brother, no less. At least, she could divorce him and take half of NG and leave. I can't take anything from Yuki, but my clothes and crap that I left at his apartment. Till then, I just have to leave it there until I find a new place to live and far away from Yuki as possible. My mind still ran over the idea of breaking off Bad Luck to start on my solo album. I wonder if Mika would agree to my idea or call me an idiot. I know I'm being selfish, breaking up the band that's been going great for five years. I just can't continue making music, knowing that within the walls of NG, lies and scandals are brewing. My eyes took charge of their sight seeing and I end up staring into my half empty glass. Within the dark rippling tides, I could see my reflection perfectly.

I haven't been eating again nor getting any sleep since I've been at Hiro's. Hiro kept telling me to eat something, but I refuse to swallow anything that would make me vomit later on. It's gotten worst since then and now I can see the outline of my ribcage. Then with all these thoughts and questions left unanswered, I just couldn't grasp them long enough to settle upon something decent. So all I could do was lock myself within the study and write. I wrote anything, fromt poems, to short stories, to new songs I want to sing. Anything just to keep my mind for wavering back to the past and the pain. I knew I needed to decide what I'm going to do, where I'm going to go, and why. It's just the moment of truth is revealing itself and the lie I tried to conceal for so long is coming out. Soon, everyone whom been a loyal fan of mines will know the secret of Shuichi Shindou and Eiri Yuki. Though, when the public know what kind of man he is, they'll believe anything. The media will spice it up just a little, to make it juicy and tender.

"Shuichi...why must you space out every time someone is trying to talk to you?" I heard Mika call my name in somewhat of an irritated tone.

Returning back to the present I loathed so much, I threw her an apologetic look. "My bad, didn't mean to leave Earth. What were you saying?"

I knew she would roll her eyes, mumble something incoherent about my ignorance, and repeated what she said when I wasn't present. "I was saying, did my brother call you?"

This time, I rolled my eyes at the mentioning of Yuki's recent calling and nod. "Yeah, he called me at Hiro's house. My cell phone broke not too long ago, so all my calls are screened to his house. Why, he called you?"

"Of course he did and my ex-husband too. Both of them asking me to forgive them and ask me to persuade you to forgive them also. Don't worry, Tohma would be giving you a nice call also. Just you wait..."

"Not going to forgive them, what's the point? Yuki cheated on me with your husband-"

"Ex-husband, Shindou-san"

"Call me Shuichi and anyway with your ex-husband and lied about it for two years. I knew something wasn't right with the frequent visits everyday from Seguchi-san and late night departures. Though, at that time, I placed the barrier of falsehood around me. Now, I hope the media hurry up and find out about them, so I could make my decision."

"I forgot about you and your band. What's going to happen, since I'm taken part of NG. I really don't want to run the company, I'll leave that to Tohma and I know you don't want to be there, under that name. Have you discuss this with the others yet?"

"Not really, I don't know when I'm going to make up my mind. When are you going to finalize the divorce?"

"I'm given it a few months, I still have to get situated and stuff. You should do the same and not worry about Bad Luck for awhile. If you need help, just give me a call and I see what I can do."

I knew she was trying to be friendly, since we both going through the same thing, but she will always be hostile towards me for going out with her brother to begin with. "Thank you, I really appreciate your help. Same goes for you, I have connections and I can get you anything."

She smiled and raised her glass. "Let's toast to a new chapter in our lives and hopefully find someone in the near future who won't give us any problems."

Grinning, I followed the same suit and tapped our glasses against each other. "Cheers Mika-san."

"Cheers Shuichi..."

TBC