Sometimes Nicky Pike just couldn't understand how he could feel so out of place in his own family. Things had just gotten worse since his parents had separated a few months ago. Even though he didn't like to admit it, he had thought that maybe his parents separating would somehow bring the family closer together. That obviously wasn't the case. Now he had two homes that he felt out of place in, instead of one.
Nothing had really changed at his normal home. Or maybe he should say, his mom's house. That was how divorced kids talked. At home, at least, things felt normal, even if they didn't always feel good. Staying at his dad's alone, or with one or two of his siblings, he realized how little their dad knew about any of them. They mostly made polite conversation, but even that was strained, at best. But his dad did work a lot, so even when they stayed over they didn't see too much of him. His dad gave them all a key to the apartment, and he always had tv dinners in the freezer.
He knew that his mom wouldn't like it if she knew that his dad sometimes worked really late on the nights that they stayed with him, so no one told her. They hadn't officially talked about it, but everyone knew what to say when she asked them questions. None of the kids wanted their mom to feel any worse than she already did, even the ones that were mad at her. His mom didn't think that anyone knew, but he could hear her crying herself to sleep at night.
The only good thing about his family was his brothers and sisters. They didn't always get along, but at least they had each other. Byron was the best, of course. That much hadn't changed. Byron was actually kind of a better dad than their own dad was. He knew that didn't make any sense, but it was true.
His mom wanted to know what he thought that the family should do for Christmas, but he didn't even know what to tell her. He didn't want anything to change, but he didn't want anything to be the way that it was before, either. He wasn't really that good at making up his mind. He preferred to just sit back and let things happen. Sometimes his teachers and the coaches of the school teams complained about this, and said that he should take more initiative. They said that they didn't expect this out of one of the Pike kids. He hated it when they said that. His siblings, especially the triplets were good at everything that they tried. He was never good at anything. Byron tried to tell him that it didn't matter, but it didn't really help that much.
Really, instead of trying to figure out how to make things work out for Christmas, he wished that his parents would try to find a way to make things work out all the time. Just the fact that they were separated and going to be getting a divorce acknowledged that things weren't working out in the first place. He wished that his parents would have tried just a little harder to make things work out. It seemed like they had just decided to call it quits instead of work on it. Maybe that's where he got it from.
The only good thing about his parents getting separated was that since it happened he had spent a lot more time with Claire. He knew that it really wasn't cool to like hanging out with your little sister, but Claire was different. She was so sad all the time, and it was the best feeling in the world if he could get her to smile or laugh. She said that he was her favorite of all of her brothers and sisters, and that she liked him more than she liked any of her friends at school. And that meant a lot, because Claire was one of the most popular girls in the sixth grade.
He and Claire were together a lot, because they went over to their dad's apartment more than anybody else. Well, Byron went a lot too, but he always had sports practice and homework to do, so mostly it was just himself and Claire. He liked to go to there because he could just be himself, and not a disappointment to everyone who had known Mallory, Vanessa, and the triplets. Claire liked to go because she liked to be as alone as possible. Claire had even asked if she could move in with their dad so that she could be alone, and Margo could have more space to do her homework, but their mom wouldn't let her.
If he could make everything the way that he wanted, all of his siblings, himself included, could just be themselves, and that would be okay. He didn't really care what they did for Christmas, just that everyone was happy. Deep inside, he knew that is what his parents wanted as well, and that they didn't know how to get it either. So instead, they gave up and were getting a divorce. He couldn't get a divorce from anyone, so he couldn't give up. That was pretty much a first for him.
Nick y didn't hate his family, like Jordan, but he didn't really love it, like Byron. As usual, he didn't really fit in anywhere. He really didn't care what they did for Christmas, or for any holiday afterwards. He just wanted to fit in somewhere.