Alright, here's chapter two. Starts where it left off. Chapter three we go on to see someone else and then I think chapter five we go back to Ryan. You'll see how it works out. Please review!

Chapter Two: I Didn't Lose Her…

Knocks at the door took him out of his haze, his teary eyes lazily moving toward the wall of glass opposite his bed. He laid still, no movement but his chest's fast rise and fall, breaths escaping quickly. He was in a state of hysterics, eyes wide even in exhaustion, cheeks damp with fresh fallen tears. He dared not make a move, hoping in his mind that whoever was there would get the hint and leave him alone. Leave him there to sit on his own. Leave him there to rot in thought. His hopes were shot down with more bangs and knocks.

A muffled voice filtered through to him, pleas to open up echoing and radiating against the walls. The voice's words went through him, comprehension wavering with the carelessness of grief. He truly just didn't care anymore. He didn't care about anything, anybody. Not even himself. Everyone and everything was just too unimportant to even waste energy on.

Seth stood at the door, arm and balled fist raised to the shimmering glass. His knuckles pressed together, reddened slightly with the pressure of knocking. "Ryan…" he called, pausing his attempts to listen for movement inside. Nothing. Seth grew somewhat impatient. "Ryan, please." he said, looking down at the cement of the patio. "You can't stay in there forever…" He slid his hands into his pockets, the breeze causing his body to stiffen from cold air. His hair ruffled and swayed slightly in the wind, a hand finding the back of his neck to rub and sigh with defeat.

He looked behind him toward the house, motionless and empty, wondering if he should just give up and go back inside. Ryan obviously wanted nothing to do with him…or anyone. He secluded himself from the outside world almost completely, only emerging to do laundry or have a fresh breath of oxygen. In the pool house, he presumed, Ryan would lock himself away and hide from this new reality. Maybe he was scared all his memories of her would float away, be lost into the Newport wind, and he would forget her more and more as each day passed.

Seth sighed and turned on his heel, hearing noises to his left for the first time as he stood there. Ryan appeared in the crease between the doors for only a moment, eyes sadly glaring at Seth and squinting with the newfound light source. "Yes, I can." he mumbled. Seth turned around swiftly to meet Ryan's gaze. "And I plan to…" He took a step back and swung the door again, turning Seth away in silent affirmation. Seth lunged and leaned in his hand, stopping the door from shutting him out.

"Wait…" he begged, pushing the door back against Ryan's chest. He took a step onto the pool house platform, his hand remaining on the green painted wood. "What do you want?" Ryan asked, voice desperate with lingering frustration. His grip on the door and force against him weakened, a softer side coming through as the muscles in his throat tightened in sadness. Seth sighed again and let go of the door, his arm sliding lazily back to his side.

"Ryan, come on." he said, voice gentler. "Please just…let me in." Ryan let go, too exhausted and frenzied to even try and bother anymore. He was left standing next to the doorway as Seth squeezed his way inside and let the door shut behind him, walking into the darkened room. All blinds were drawn, only slits of sunlight peeking through onto the carpet. Seth stood in the center of the room, looking down at shards and pieces of metal and glass. He furrowed his eyebrows and glanced up at Ryan, licking his lips before speaking. "Uh…what happened to your alarm clock, buddy?"

Ryan looked down at the mess and then back at Seth, his answer deep voiced and urgent. "It fell." Seth opened his mouth, eyes still squinted. Thoughts ran though his head, sarcastic remarks being held back through his teeth and clenched tongue. He nodded and dropped the subject, knowing very well how it had broken. That was the third appliance this month to meet its ugly Ryan Atwood fate. Seth kicked around little pieces of glass with his sneaker, piling them to one side and shaking off the sticking remains. He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking up at Ryan who still stood by the door, giving Seth pitiful and weary eyes as he slouched in his dirty pajama pants and wife beater.

"You still haven't answered my question." he muttered with complete annoyance. "What do you want?" His face was stern and solid, traces of the old Chino-ridden Ryan peeking through. Seth leaned back against the wall, trying to remember a time when he was even remotely welcome in the pool house. He thought to himself, wishing that things could just be like old times. He missed what their lives used to be, as dramatic as they were. Really coming down to it, the first year Ryan came was the best of his entire life. "I just thought maybe we could put a little Seth/Ryan time on the books." he explained, hesitant to speak against Ryan's impeding death glares. "I figured you could use a little entertainment."

Ryan looked away and moved back toward the bed, plopping down on his knee amongst the mess of blankets. He slammed into the pillows, pulling his comforter over his stomach and up across his face. "I really don't feel like it, Seth." his muffled voice answered, body completely concealed once again. His breath steadied as his body relaxed and went back into its lazy bones position. He closed his eyes and prayed that Seth would go away. Ultimately, Ryan knew all Seth wanted was to help him. All he wanted was his friend back. That's what everyone wanted. But Ryan knew he couldn't push himself into moving on. It's not something he did. He'd always mope around after someone left him, so now, with a situation a million times worse, he knew it would probably take a million times more minutes and hours to even get up in the morning.

Seth shook his head and grimaced, sensing a pattern forming. This had been going on for weeks now…ever since it happened. Everyone had tried to talk to him only to be pushed away or given rolled eyes and various grunts. "You haven't felt like it in two months." He crossed his arms and let his feet slide, forming a crooked C against the pillar between each set of double doors. Ryan moved to his side on the bed, now facing the wall where Seth had first entered. He pushed down the blanket that covered his face, reopening his eyes and staring off into space once again. "You just…don't get it, Seth." he said, refusing to make eye contact and hoping to keep the last possible strands of his dignity.

"You're right, I don't get it." he agreed. "I don't get what I don't understand." Silence filled the room before he went on. "I was there too and so was Summer and everyone else." he said shaking his head. "Life sucks, dude. We've been over that." He paused, sensing his sudden harshness and Ryan's silent lump of a body still curled up on the futon. Seth naturally softened, sighing with the horrible truth that hung on his best friend. "Sometimes you just lose people…" he finished.

Seth looked to his dirty high topped Converse, pressed together and planted firmly on the hard wood floor, just where the checkered carpet met its end. He took a deep breath and lifted his head again, meeting Ryan's eyes as he sat up. He pulled himself into a sitting position, his blankets falling in a bunch at his lap. He grinded his teeth with Seth's words, shaking his head in disagreement with his last statement. His eyes lowered, moving to stare straight across the room to his television table. "I didn't lose her…" he mumbled, letting his tongue slide across his dry bottom lip. He stopped on a picture frame, tightly hugging a picture of her between the panels of glass.

"She was taken from me."