This next chapter is the longest I've ever written...I think it deserves some good reviews. And I have text mixed in with a bunch of stuff so just know that writing is in italics!

Chapter Three: Woes of the Little Miss Vixen

Boxes were piled throughout her room, some already closed and taped, others spitting out clothes onto the carpet. Hangers poked out from all corners, vibrant colors of t-shirts and dresses accumulated high atop her bed and almost every other empty surface. The door was closed, stuff pushed up against it and the furthest wall. She sat in the center of everything, her legs curled up and folded on top of each other. Her fingers were entwined and formed into a ball, body slouching and eyes running over the mess that was now her bedroom. She sighed and let a hand run over her forehead and hairline, dropping back down to lie lazily on her lap. Her body relaxed with the long exhalation, back and neck bending further into almost jelly. She twiddled her thumbs and licked her lips, not knowing what to do next, taking a break from the imminent chaos that she had created.

College didn't start for another two and a half weeks, but she needed to get a jump on things, knowing perfectly well that moments like these would come and she'd be delayed in her packing by blips of frustration or tears. That happened a lot lately. Everything she had learned, all the progress she had made in therapy wasted away for a few minutes, hurling her back into the new person she had really become since it happened. Her face was blank, skin pale and makeup free. Her eyes were glued on the garment at her knees, folded and wrinkled every which way on the carpet. She stared down at it, eyelids falling every few seconds in a dry blink. Her hands found the soft fabric, and her thumbs grazed the embroidered blue lettering that spelled out a future lost.

She remembered purchasing the very item, a sweatshirt, pink in color, with a long, tightened hood. Her faith and excitement coursing through her as she concealed it until it was time. Worn only once, the previous and natural warmth had faded with days, making it much less inviting. A lump formed in the back of her throat, a feeling that seemed almost routine in her new life, but still that much uncomfortable. Her hands left the cloth, coming together again as she swallowed the lump and closed her eyes for more than a second. She breathed out slowly, something her therapist told her to do when she got overwhelmed with feelings of grief and remorse. She stayed that way for a few moments, legs still crossed and hands still tightly clutched in their proper position.

Opening her eyes again, she reached for the shoulder portion of the sweatshirt and lifted it into the air, flattening the wrinkles and folding it neatly so the letters fanned across the chest. Biting her top lip, she neatly folded each corner, making it into a square with only the letters across it. It rested on her bent knee, lingering, haunting her, before she tossed it into a nearby open suitcase.

Flashback…

Her sweatshirt landed face up atop the rest of her pile of clothing. It rested on the top of a mountain of other folded garments, compacted tightly into the large piece of luggage. Clothes were folded for the most part, still neatly stacked, freshly taken from their places in her drawers. One by one, she organized and compacted each and every belonging, attempting to find a way to pack everything she wanted from home in this tight space…failing mercilessly. She gave up trying to be a pack rat, tossing various items to the other side of the bed. She looked through her stuff, now only keeping whatever she absolutely needed during her time away.

Zipping everything up, she picked up a bag and let it slide down her legs to the ground. Her eyes fell, knowing that this was really it. She scanned over her bare walls and half empty closet, making sure nothing precious was forgotten. She stopped and stared at the small wooden table across from her bed. On the dusty surface stood several picture frames, frilly and girly, undoubtedly pink with teenage flare. Releasing the handles and straps that hung from her palms, she stepped over her mountains of bags and walked to the wall, peering down at herself in the small squares of glass.

One frame, the largest, was separated in four, leaving smaller space for pictures but greater the abundance. In each slot rested a picture of her and Summer, aging years through time. Marissa smiled, picking up the back and running her fingers across the front. Memories, a lifetime of friendship, were being left behind, even if only for a year. Her eyes moved from slot to slot, seeing the obvious changes of the two of them from elementary school to present day. She placed the frame back and moved onto the next, one of her and Kaitlin when they were much smaller, before everything got crazy and they resented each other for no real reason at all.

The final picture was of her and Ryan, a moment frozen forever, lasting through all the difficulty from the past few years. Her eyes welled up, holding the dark frame in both hands, eyes glued to the happiness she longed to have now. Their faces were only inches apart, surrounded by the glow of lights around the large, circular wheel that occupied the center. Carnival hustle and bustle was out of focus, the main focus of the picture their smiling faces. Tears fell silently, clouding the glass with dripping wetness. She sniffed to herself, gripping the wood tighter in her hands and bringing it up against her chest. Foot steps approached her door, interrupting her moment with quiet knocks.

She quickly turned away, wiping tears off her cheeks and bending to shove the frame into her bag on the floor. She stood up again, clearing her throat and nervously pulling her shirt down. "Um…come in." she called, sniffling again and leaning back against her bed post. The door handle turned slowly and the door inched forward, Summer's head peeking in past the white molding. "Hey, Coop." she greeted, voice soft, but high as usual. "You almost ready?" Marissa closed her eyes and nodded, opening them again as Summer moved into the room. She looked around at Marissa's packing, sighing to herself and noticing Marissa's glassy eyes. "Coop, you okay?" She moved in closer, plopping down on the messy bed to look up at her. "Yeah…I'm fine." Marissa lied, holding back her tears.

Summer patted the space next to her on the bed, and took Marissa's hand as she sat. "I can't believe you're really leaving." Summer said, voice breaking with sadness. Marissa nodded, looking around her room again. "I have to keep telling myself that it's not forever." she whispered, looking down at their entwined hands. She met Summer's eyes, her own tears starting to brim. "Yeah." she agreed. "We'll be back together in a year, right?" Marissa half smiled and again nodded her head with her question, having nothing more to say. "I know you really need to do this." Summer continued. "This year has been pretty crazy…not that any of the others were exactly perfect." She sighed and let her other hand rest on Marissa's which still clutched hers tightly. "We're all gonna be fine."

Marissa swallowed the threat of tears, knowing that they'd both completely fall apart if one dared fall. "I know." she mumbled, trying to put on a happy smile. Summer cleared her throat and looked forward, getting up from the bed, still holding Marissa's hand. She pulled her to her feet as well and looked down at her luggage. "Alright, finish packing." Marissa released her hand and slid her own into her back packets. "Yeah, I'll meet you downstairs." she informed, watching Summer nod and walk toward the door. "Sum?" Marissa called before she walked out. She paused for a second as Summer turned, searching for the right words. "If you were leaving for a year…and things were weird between you and Seth…how would you go about saying goodbye?"

Summer bit her lip and leaned against the door knob. "I don't know, to be honest." she admitted, with a shrug. "I guess I would just write him a letter." Summer knew that Marissa and Ryan were never good with words. If she wrote him a letter, she could get out everything she wanted to say. Marissa nodded, thinking the exact same thing. "Thanks." she said, giving Summer another forced grin as she closed the door and walked away. Marissa bent down again and unzipped the front compartment of her luggage, pulling out the plastic packaging that held her sheets of stationary. She let her tongue slide over her lips, and walked over to her desk, plopping down on the wooden chair and letting the package of paper fall onto the desk's surface.

She stared at the stationary, waiting for words to magically appear across the fresh sheets of paper. She clutched a pen between her fingers, leaning her forehead on her opposite palm, racking her brain with thoughts and feelings, trying to put everything into sentences…paragraphs…anything solid. 'Dear Ryan,' she managed to scribble at the top, letters jumbled with the nervous shakes of her hand. She continued to ramble on about how they were friends…or more than friends…or how they couldn't really be friends because of their past…before she crinkled up the sheet and started over. 'Dear Ryan,' she wrote again, moving the base of the pen up and down between her thumb and pointer finger. She bit her lip and thought for a moment, then began writing again, letting herself go now with truthful closure.

She found herself near the end of the paper and began to wrap it up, saying her goodbyes and leaving confessions, leading up to her signature in the bottom center. She read over every word again, swallowing dryly and folding the paper into precise thirds. She contemplated whether or not to rip it up and toss away the thought completely, but managed to shove it into an envelope and jot down the Cohen's address as a finish. She held in tightly between both hands, letting the bottom crease of the envelope face forward. She sighed, trying to build up her courage, before putting that aside and pulling out another sheet.

End Flashback…

She now clutched a piece of paper in her hands, folded and wrinkled on top of its matching, ripped envelope. She bit her lip and stared down at it, letting a finger slip inside the creases to bend and flatten it out. Her lips curled down into a fixed frown, her eyes somber and even fuller of depression. Her fingers traced the running script across the page, dots of mutated ink, tear-stained memories flowing every which way. Her head shot up with a knock on the door, hurling her forward to hide the crinkled paper in a neighboring memory box. "Come in." she spoke through cracking voice.

The door across from her creaked open with little force, Seth's curly head appearing as he walked in. "Hey." he greeted, eyes squinty in surprise as he looked around the messy room. She got up from the carpet, repeating his greeting and brushing off the static cling of dust and fuzz from her thighs. "How's the packing going?" he asked, holding out his hands to her as she approached. They intertwined fingers, patty-cake style, standing awkwardly opposite each other. She let out a deep breathe and looked around herself, again swallowing the huge lump in the back of her throat. "MMM…kind of got side tracked." she muttered, looking down at their feet.

"How's Atwood?" she huffed through the dryness of her mouth. Seth shrugged, letting his eyes fall as he played with her hands. "He's…distant?" he said, not knowing how to truly explain Ryan's attitude and behavior. "But I actually got in for some interaction earlier…finally." He finished as they crashed on the mounds of bedspread and clothing. She shifted on the mattress and faced him, twisting so one leg hung off the bed. Clutching his hand, she swallowed and took a deep breathe, letting her other hand smooth out her hair. "Well if anyone could ever get through to Ryan…I'm sure it would be you." she reassured, voice still just above a whisper. They sat in silence for a moment, listening to each other quietly breathe. Seth looked up at her, only to see her looking down, distraught, obviously upset. He put a hand to her face, letting his thumb linger on her cheek.

"How are you doing?" he asked, ducking his head down as she lifted hers up and their eyes met. She immediately tried to look somewhat happier, giving him a weary half smile even though she was falling apart inside. "I'm okay." she said, lying to them both. "I just have a lot more packing to do." Seth nodded and stood up, pulling her with him. "Yeah, I should go see if my parents are back yet." he said. "My dad took her off for a romantic weekend at Palm Springs." She nodded and moved into him, burying her face in his scrawny chest. He held her tightly, hoping a big hug might make her feel a little better. He bent with her height, kissing the top of her head before pulling away. "I'll be back in the morning to drive you to therapy, okay?" he said, kissing her lips before pulling away and walking to the door. "I love you." she called, turning to look at the back of him. "Love you, too." he replied, opening the door and walking out.

She was left alone again, collecting her thoughts as they scrambled in her mind. Things had just gotten so weird. Everything had gone from bad to worse. She knew she still had Seth, but to her, in a situation like this, sometimes having him wasn't enough. She wanted and needed her rock. She wanted her best friend back, her Coop. She moved from where Seth had left her, peering toward the closed door before going back to where she sat before he came. She got to her knees, bending to the carpet to pick up a colored box of pictures and paper. Summer held it, staring at its contents, walking back to her bed without her lifting her head. She bit her lip, sitting back down and placing the box on the bed next to her. She pulled out a pile of paper…old notes and sentimentals piled and folded together. Her hand stopped at the piece of paper she had hidden, picking it up and pushing the rest aside.

'Dear Summer', she read, her eyes scanning the words at the top of the page. She remembered finding the envelope the day after it happened, sitting in Marissa's room balling her eyes out. Her name was scribbled on the front, catching Summer's eye on the desk. 'After all this time, I can't believe I'm saying goodbye to you.' the letter began. 'I know it's not forever, but a year is going to seem like it without my best friend.' Seem like forever actually turned into forever. Or the rest of her forever at least. 'You've been there for me for our entire lives, and now you are more of a sister than a friend to me. We've been through everything together- the good and the bad- and you've stood by me through all of my craziness.' she read on. Summer's heart swelled. This time, it was someone else's craziness that started the problem.

'I don't know how to thank you. All I know is that I need to do this. I need to leave…at least for a little while. I have to start new, forget the past, and try to move on from the weight that has been on me for so long.' Summer knew Marissa had to go. Get herself back on track and try and sort out all her thoughts and plans. 'I hope you understand and I hope you find everything you've been wanting and looking for at Brown next year. I'm sure Seth will fill up most of the time that you would have spent with me. Have fun with that.' She was right about the Seth part, but Summer also knew that she would still feel the void and loneliness even with him around. 'I know this year has been really difficult and I'm mostly to blame, but I need to ask you one last favor before I leave.'

Anything. She would have done anything then and would certainly do anything now. 'Keep an eye on Ryan for me? I don't mean like the "make sure he dates no one else" type of thing. Just tell me how he's doing and if he's happier in the future. Doubtful…he wouldn't be happy with her away. And now, his unhappiness without her was a complete certainty. 'You really are the only one who sees how much I love him, Sum, and you have no idea how hard it is for me to let him go.' Marissa went on, her honestly pouring out to Summer who always knew it all along. Of course Marissa loved him. Of course.You could see it in her eyes and actions…her life just didn't work without him. 'Please just…take care of him. I think leaving now is the best thing for not only me, but for both of us, for everyone. I hope a year will help me fix my life because now I'm just too lost in Newport.'

Everyone was lost now. Losing her gave them all a huge reality check, a huge slap in the face and in the heart. 'I love you, Summer and I'll miss you everyday.' she wrote, starting the last few lines. 'I don't know what type of e-mail service there is on my dad's boat but I hope we can work something out. I'll be seeing you, friend.' She'd be seeing her…in an open casket. That was it. The end of the letter, the end of their friendship, the end of who she used to be. She signed her name at the bottom. A final goodbye. Forever. Summer finished the letter, holding it tightly. She didn't know how many times she had read it, but it seemed like it held something more than just words. That letter was a memory of her, and it chilled Summer to the bone the things she had mentioned within it. 'tell me how he's doing and if he's happier in the future.'

Ryan was the most miserable Summer had ever seen him. How could he not be? He was with her when she went. He held her as she took her last breathes, looking up at him, bloody, battered, and helpless. Summer shook away the thought, feeling sick to her stomach imagining her like that, scared to death and probably knowing and feeling her time was up and it was over. She wondered if Marissa had said anything to him…whether she was even able to speak and say goodbye…whether she went in pain or only felt the calm numbness. She closed her eyes and clutched the letter tighter, lifting it against her chest before letting is rest on her lap again. The paper, folded in thirds bent respectively on both ends, facing her, parallel, awaiting another set of fresh fallen tears.

Hope that wasn't too confusing. Please review me!