Warning: Extreme OOC (there's a reason for this and it will be explained as chapter progresses), weirdness, sexual references and foul language. Any misspellings or wrong grammar is unintentional. I am my own beta. I could have missed some stuff.

I do not own Naruto.

ROOM-MATE

Iruka didn't want to see anyone at the moment as he sat on top of the washing machine doing his laundry in the empty laundromat. No one does laundry so late in the evening but Iruka didn't give a damn. In fact, if it weren't against the rule, he would have slept on top of the rows of washing machine and still feel good.

He tried to figure out what he did to offend Kakashi. Most people would warn others out of courtesy if they were a vegetarian; he wondered why Kakashi couldn't have done the same. He had no way in knowing that Kakashi was a vegetarian because if he did, he would have looked for an alternative.

A part of him wondered if Kakashi was just being an ass.

Iruka remembered the paintings and shuddered, crossing his legs and wrapping his arms around his middle. "He's mad. Absolutely mad. Genius or not. It's no excuse!" Iruka grumbled, sighing and shoulders drooping.

He stared at the opposite wall, the washing machine rumbling underneath him as he clothes were spun, washed and dried. He was starting to space out when his cell phone vibrated in his back pocket. A glance at the small colored screen told him that Kotetsu was freaking out.

Ey mate. Ds guy is 1 nutcase. Hs laffing loudly on d fone n colctng hs lundry. I cnt sleep. Ds s 1 mofo! U r soooo lucky dude!

Iruka felt infinitely sorry towards Kotetsu. He didn't bother to reply simply because he was out of cell phone credit. He figured he'd pat Kotetsu's back the next day in comfort. Sighing and leaning against the wall once again, Iruka went back to waiting for his laundry to finish. He was in the middle of dozing off, when the door opened and loud laughter poured in. Iruka shook awake when the door slammed and Genma sauntered to one end of the room, laughter stopping as he grinned and said goodbye to the person on his cell phone. Iruka blinked several times as he stared at his own cell phone and towards the slim black one Genma closed and tucked in to his back pocket.

Iruka tried to remain invisible, going quiet and not wanting to attract attention as Genma loaded several dark sweaters in to the washing machine, set the timer and started searching through his pockets for some coins. Iruka looked the other way, not wanting to have anything to do with the man till his laundry was done. As much as his good nature got the better of him in terms of offering a guy in need of some change to do his laundry, Iruka squashed his good will and ignored Genma, even as the long haired man started cussing.

Iruka's washing machine hummed to a stop, his whites dried and clean. Iruka hopped down the machine and started unloading his whites in to his empty basket and loading his dark colored ones in. He was quietly minding his own business when he felt a shadow loom over him.

"Hey, uhm, you got some change for this?" Genma waved a five ryo bill.

Iruka looked up at him from between his curtain of damp hair and eyed the bill. "Yeah. I think I have enough. Gimme a minute." Iruka said, stuffing the rest of his laundry in, popping in a coin and letting the machine do its job. He dug through his pocket and came out a quarter short. "Uhm, here. I'm a quarter short." Iruka handed Genma all the change.

"This is fine. Here." Genma handed Iruka the five ryo bill and got his washing machine started. "Thanks."

Iruka nodded and climbed over his washing machine, sitting cross legged and leaning his head against the wall. He was starting to get sleepy, yawning and shivering from the previous rain exposure and the cold shower. Genma was tossing his cell phone up and down in the air when Iruka glanced at him.

Genma stared back and offered one of his suave and charming smile. "I'm Genma. Got a name?"

"Iruka." Iruka replied, forcing a smile back and biting back a yawn. He felt goosbumps break out all over his body as he covered his mouth and looked away, yawning.

"You look really tired. I thought I was the only one doing laundry this late at night." Genma said, walking towards Iruka and standing across from him.

"This was unplanned." Iruka replied, giving a slight shrug. "Figure I'd do it now instead of during the weekends."

"Wise." Genma quirked his eyebrows, watching as Iruka rocked himself back and forth to keep warm. "So what department you in?"

"Education." Iruka answered. "You?"

"Economics." Genma grinned, shifting the toothpick to the other side of his mouth. Genma eyed Iruka up and down, a small smirk curling up his lips. "You're a teacher then?"

"I used to teach at the Academy. I'm doing my masters." Iruka said, head against the wall once more and eyes dropping down from drowsiness. "I think I'll be graduating in about another nine months."

"You think?" Genma chuckled, approaching Iruka.

Iruka hummed a yes, eyes closing for a moment. "Providing I don't do something foolish." He mumbled slowly, like a drunken man.

"Foolish things like what?" Genma asked, leaning his head against his elbows on Iruka's washing machine, staring at his sleepy face.

"Impregnate a girl." Iruka mumbled.

Genma burst out laughing, startling Iruka awake. Iruka stared at Genma's close proximity and leaned against the wall further. "Impregnate a girl eh? Ever heard of condoms, Iruka?"

"They're not one-hundred-percent safe." Iruka reasoned, swallowing thickly.

"True, true." Genma nodded, still laughing. "So what else are you afraid of?"

Iruka blinked and eyed the rusty corner of the washing machine he was sitting on. "Uh turning in to a junkie? Committing suicide?"

Genma smirked and spat his toothpick out. Iruka watched the poor thing tumble across the room and felt disgusted with Genma's attitude. "No one wants that. I'm sure you'll turn out just fine."

Iruka watched as Genma's lips curled up to a handsome smile and he felt shiver run down his spine. He can somehow figure out why Kotetsu was so helpless when Genma approached him. "I hope so." Iruka smiled back sweetly, shivering even more as he noted Genma was too close for comfort.

"So tell me something." Genma leaned a bit closer even though the action seemed subtle and very casual. "If you don't want to end up impregnating a woman, does that mean you turn to men for comfort?"

Iruka swallowed. He suddenly remembered Mizuki during his undergraduate years and how things were so passionate and so fiery and how it all suddenly winked out. "I don't turn to anyone for comfort."

"Men?" Genma raised an eyebrow in a very flirty fashion.

"No." Iruka shook his head. "I haven't been with anyone for a long time."

"Have you ever been with a man before then?" Genma asked, hand covering Iruka's, rubbing at his knuckles.

"Once." Iruka squeaked, trying to back away further in to the wall if it was physically possible. "But that was a long time ago. A really long time ago." He added quickly, getting defensive.

Genma stared at Iruka's trembling hand and looked up at him. "It didn't work out?"

"It was complicated." Iruka shrugged, trying to shake Genma's hand off him.

"You know, life is like an onion." Genma said slowly, leaning up towards Iruka.

"Ha?" Iruka blinked, not getting it at all.

"You peel it off one layer at a time and sometimes, you weep." Genma gave Iruka's hand a squeeze, trying to offer him some comfort.

"My love life is like an onion?" Iruka asked, confused and not understanding what Genma was getting at. The line itself was too cheesy and just not fitting for someone like Genma.

Genma licked the side of his lips and leaned even closer, nose nearly touching Iruka and quickly changed the subject. "You're cold. Do you feel cold?"

Iruka blinked. "Why are you asking?"

"Because you're hot and I don't want to get a woman impregnated either." Genma started kissing Iruka's neck.

Iruka slid away quickly, just as a hand crawled up his chest from under his shirt and started to pinch and rub at his nipples. What rational thought he had left popped like a kid holding a needle to a balloon. Soon, Genma had his legs pried wide apart, hand still playing with his nipples and the other snaking down the inside of his loose pants and cupping his dick, rubbing and pinching.

Iruka blinked stars and started to kick and push Genma away but every time Genma gave a squeeze to his manhood he ended up bucking and forgetting that he was supposed to escape.

"Stop. Stop now!" Iruka choked when he felt Genma sucking on his bottom lip. The sound of the door opening made Iruka come to his senses and summon enough strength to just tug at Genma's hair really hard and at the same time bite his lip. Genma backed away immediately, blood smearing his lips along with Iruka's. "Stop it! Are you insane? What's the matter with you?"

Genma laughed and turned to look at the door, making Iruka glance towards it as well to see who stepped in. "Why if it isn't Kakashi! Wassup mate?"

Kakashi blinked slowly. "So not only are you a cannibal but you're also a call -"

"He started it!" Iruka pointed at Genma, acting very defensive.

Genma waggled his brows and attempted to grab Iruka to continue his molesting. "I'm sure Kakashi wouldn't mind if we continued."

Iruka punched Genma in the face with all his strength, hurting his own knuckles in the process. "No!"

Without thinking, Iruka hopped off the washing machine he ended up sprawled on, grabbed his basket of whites and made a dash for the door, leaving a disgusted looking Kakashi and a laughing Genma behind. He figured what number of sweaters he forgot (and probably will lose) can be replaced with later once he gets more money.

Iruka valued his pride and dignity more than he did for his clothes.

This is probably why he ended up begging Ebisu to let him stay the weekend over. He just didn't think that going back to his room was the right choice at the moment.

XXX

By Sunday evening, Iruka was willingly ready to leave Ebisu's roof. Ebisu was generally a nice guy to be around with for short times. Four days was more than enough for Iruka to stand. He managed not going back to his room for four days by pure luck alone (Ebisu was a tough guy to deal with and avoid listening to; his mouth and presence was just that big). He was quite lucky that he only had one class during Thursdays and Fridays, both of which are more practical teachings rather than a lecture. He didn't need his notes or his laptop. Iruka just took a few sheets and pens off Ebisu's study desk.

When he did decide to head home, a basket of dirty laundry against his waist (he wore white for four days since he had nothing else to), he couldn't help but notice how other students were stopping and pointing at him. It was after he crossed the parking lot and was climbing the stairs up the dormitory did one of the passerby stop him.

"Umino?" A brunette young man asked.

"Yes?" Iruka blinked.

"You're all right aren't you? Are you hurt?"

Iruka stared at the person like he had eight heads. "I'm fine, thank you. Is there something wrong?"

"Well, there's been missing-poster on you all over the dormitory. Even the girl's section. Did you leave school for a while?"

Iruka looked bewildered. "Missing posters? No, I didn't leave. I was over at a friend's place!"

"Well, you're wanted for your safe return. I'm glad you're okay though."

Iruka nodded dumbly. "Thank you. I'll just get going then."

"In a moment. But let me take you to your room. I talked to you first after all."

Iruka squawked as the brunette dragged him up the stairs and towards his temporary room. It was when he caught sight of his face on poster, blown up with the words missing and reward printed on top did it suddenly make just a little more sense.

"Oi! Wait! You can't just -"

"This will just take a moment."

The brunette was already rapping on his room door in a very hurried fashion. Iruka was about give him a lecture about being rude when the door opened and Kakashi stared at the both of them.

"Oh. You found him. Here then." Kakashi dug out an envelope from his pocket and handed it to the brunette. "Thank you."

"Any time." The brunette waved, gave Iruka a pat on the back and disappeared down the hallway, counting the money from the envelope.

Iruka stared at the disappearing young man and then at Kakashi with shock. He felt anger burn inside him at the actions that just took place.

Kakashi took out a rolling pin from his drawer and whacked Iruka over at the head with it. Iruka stumbled on his footing as he dragged his laundry basket inside the room.

"What the fuck was that for?" Iruka screamed. "That hurts!"

Kakashi gave him no answer and instead he dropped the rolling pin in to his drawer, took out his hammer and killed the light bulb, all the while muttering under his breath as he got under the covers and gave Iruka his back.

"Ungrateful little jerk. Thinks he can own the place and coming late. Bloody wanker ..."

"Hey! I am not done with you! You mo-fo! Get up and fight like a man!" Iruka demanded, kicking the door shut and pulling his cell phone out to illuminate the room with the screen. "You don't just hit people on the head with a damn rolling pin! Why do you have it in the first place? It's a damn weapon! I'm going to report you -"

"Shut it!" Kakashi hissed back, standing up from his bed and pulling out a flashlight from under his pillow.

"You don't just hit people -"

"You see this?" Kakashi dug out a voodoo doll that looked alarmingly like Iruka (it had googly sewn eyes, his signature perky ponytail and his nose scar) out of his sweatpants pocket and shone the flashlight on it.

Iruka stared at it and felt bile rise through his throat. "You disgusting son of a -"

"If you don't shut it, I'm going to rip this thing in half and you're going to die tomorrow!" Kakashi threatened.

"You're insane! You offer a reward for my return and you -"

Kakashi ripped out the legs from the voodoo doll.

"- accuse me of being a cannibal! What decent person would blame others for -"

Kakashi ripped the doll's arms in half.

"- being a cannibal when the other party didn't even know that you were a vegetarian? If you really were a vegetarian -"

Kakashi savagely tore the head off and threw it out the window.

"- you would have given me a heads-up! How was I supposed to know? Don't you know common courtesy?"

Kakashi finally threw the doll on the floor and stomped on it, grinding it down with his heel.

Iruka stared disbelievingly at Kakashi as the taller man kicked the mangled doll across the room and switched the flashlight off. Kakashi lay back in bed, giving Iruka his back and kept quiet. Iruka's patience in dealing with children took hold of the situation and instead, he bit his tongue and the urge to hit Kakashi on the head with one of his jars or books and decided to just let it go. Losing his temper made him the loser.

Iruka headed for the bathroom, got changed and went straight to bed. He buried his head under the pillow, not wanting to hear any of Kakashi's antics or words.

The lump on his head still hurt like a bitch.

TBC

Was supposed to update on the 12th but I didn't get the time to sit down and fix the formatting before uploading etc. - was busy packing and stuff to leave the country for a holiday.

"Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time and sometimes, you weep." belongs to Carl Sandburg. Credits to him and to Kagaya Chou who gave me this quote.

Insanity; very well aware of that. Genma has a significant role in this, trust me.

Thank you to all reviewers. Good to see that so far, you're enjoying the read. I hope you continue to do so.