Inescapable: Chapter 20

AN: Disclaimer and all in Chapter 1. I know this was a long time coming so I humbly apologise! Anywho, hope you like it!

"Sam?"

Sam turned her head slowly with a small smile as Daniel's concerned voice broke into her reverie. She turned back and let her head drop as a sigh escaped her lips. Daniel was soon beside her, sitting on the step outside Jack's door. She had gotten out of the infirmary yesterday and the guys had insisted on a party. So here she was beer in hand, charred meat in her gut and far too many thoughts in her head. Daniel offered her the spare beer he had brought out with a swipe of the bottle in front of her nose. She shook her head, she had barely finished the last one Jack had given her.

"Everything ok?" He asked after a moment's silence, lifting his eyebrows above his glasses in a classic 'fretting Daniel' gesture. They would stay raised like that until she answered him; she knew this without having to look. Another quiet smile pulled at her lips as she nodded.

"It's just weird to be…" she let the sentence die off, lost on what she wanted to say.

"Back?" Daniel suggested, setting his beer down on the step beside him.

Sam's eyes grew sad and then she looked at him and said, "…here."

"At Jack's?" Daniel questioned with a furrowed brow.

"No… not…" She sighed and shook her head. "I guess I wasn't really talking physically."

"Ah."

"Pete's gone. Dad's gone and…"

"And?" She glanced at him and smiled shyly, bowing her head again. "Sam," Daniel said softly and placing a hand lightly on her knee.

"I… I just don't… agh!" Her frustrated cry would normally coax a smile from him, but now he only frowned at it.

"Jack?" He saw her eyes shift though she was trying to hide her reaction. "Jack," he said, now sure he was right and saving her the bother of answering. Daniel sighed as he heard Jack mouthing off about something to Teal'c inside. He had left them watching Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. "You know he loves you," he reminded her and her head moved slightly away from him.

Sam exhaled noisily. "Almost."

"What?" Daniel asked, not sure he heard her whisper.

"Almost," she said, trailing reluctant eyes to look at him. "He knows how I feel, Daniel," she said with a resigned breath. "I need him…"

"And he's not being here for you is he?" Daniel finished, a touch of anger towards Jack in his voice already.

"No," she retorted with haste. "No, he's… he has really helped since Dad died." Her eyes dropped to her lap again as they heard a disgusted yell coming from Jack.

"But?" Daniel sensed there was one.

"But," she said softly into her lap. "Not in the way I really need him."

"Have you told him this?"

She shook her head. "Not in so many words, but from the terrified dance his eyes make every time I hint at it... he knows." She laughed gently and let air burst from her with a soft hiss. "I know it's not fair to ask so much from him-" Daniel snorted but she ignored him. "It's just I've finally realised what I really want… and that I guess… I won't really be happy with anything less."

"Sam-"

"Hey, you two - it's getting cold out here," Jack said, sticking his head out the door. "Come inside and save me from Teal'c and his freaky movies."

Sam smiled sadly and nodded, lifting herself tiredly off the step, Daniel offering her a supportive hand as he gathered himself and his beer as well. They followed Jack inside to see they had missed a bit of the movie already. As they settled into the couch and Jack threw Sam another beer, Daniel shot Sam a look that said 'we'll talk later' while absently directing a scowl at Jack.

"He," Jack began, pointing a finger and pulling an appalled expression at Luke Skywalker. "Kissed his sister!" Jack yelped and Sam and Daniel rolled their eyes. "That's just wrong," he went on. "I mean - isn't this supposed to be a family movie?"

"I believe it is PrincessLeiah that, in fact, kissed LukeSkywalker," Teal'c interjected with an eyebrow.

"Technicality," Jack mumbled. "It's still twisted." He argued.

"Yeah, twisted," Daniel said under his breath.

"Excuse me?"

"Just watch the movie, Jack."

"Hey, I got that," Jack said quietly, deftly swiping the rubbish bag from Carter's grasp, careful not to disturb Daniel and Teal'c who had turned in for the night. Carter shot him an irritated expression and sighed audibly. Jack raised an eyebrow at her as he bent to lift the beer bottles she had intended to collect. "Why don't you go to bed?" He suggested concern for her health in his tone.

Carter looked away from him quickly, guarding something in her eyes that made him stop his tidying.

Great, cue awkward 'topic'… Jack thought. Carter had been hinting to him for a while that she wanted to talk about their 'situation' or lack thereof and he was running out of ways to dance around the subject. He had a feeling she was about to confront him about it; he had seen that look in her eyes - a look of a woman shed of fear. It scared him to death. He knew if she actually came out and said what was playing in her eyes that he wouldn't be able to refuse her, he'd throw his heart at her mercy, drop the SGC, the world, just for her. It terrified him to realise how much he felt for her, hurt him to think it wasn't enough for her.

"Jack…"

Oh boy…

"It was a good party, eh?"

The only answer he got was a sigh as she slumped against the counter letting her chin fall into her chest.

"First time Danny actually went to bed instead of someone hauling his unconscious ass onto the bed." He laughed and reached for another bottle. He was doing a good job of ignoring how sad she looked, right?

"I know what you're doing." She spoke so lowly, Jack wasn't sure he'd heard it so he froze, waiting for something else. When nothing came, he glanced up and as he made contact with her pained, shimmering sapphire eyes the air around him seemed charged and the room blurred as if a think fog had set around it and she was the only thing keeping it at bay.

He walked slowly, purposefully over to her, realising that he must've dropped the bag when he heard her whisper. "Carter…" He stopped two feet short of her and her eyes flinched at her name as he looked at his feet, searching for the right words, any words.

"Don't," she said forcefully with such distaste that his head snapped up and he set bewildered eyes upon her. "At least give me the courtesy of using my actual name, Jack. This isn't some mission you're telling me you can't approve."

Jack felt his insides twist, he hadn't meant that, he just wasn't used to calling her Sam and he was nervous, hell, he hadn't felt this nauseous in a long time and his brain never did work well when his stomach was at war in some way or another.

"Sam…" he breathed, looking back up at her and his cheek muscles flinched at the expression she wore. She was preparing to be shot down and it made his heart ache.

"I'd quit, Jack." She said simply, now that she finally had eye contact. He needed to know she meant it. His eyes smiled sadly at her. He knew she meant it.

"I'd never ask you to do that," he told her. Sam's heart skipped a beat, remembering Prometheus.

"Because you don't feel anything for me?" She stared into his eyes, determined to seek the truth, anxious for his answer. She was laying it out, all he had to do was decide how to pick it up.

"You know…"

"Do I?" She asked harshly. "Every time I try to tap into what I think is there - you shut me out with some cryptic answer that means absolutely nothing to me!" Her face was getting flushed and Jack was becoming increasingly apprehensive with the more she said. He was not tailored for these types of situations. "It figures that the only time Jack O'Neill chooses to be cryptic and leave us all pondering the undertones it would be at a time like this."

"Sam," he closed his eyes wearily.

"If you told me you felt nothing, I'd drop it right now."

"Just like that?"

"No, but it would be a starting point. You have me running in circles, Jack," she told him, her broken voice telling of the toll it really had taken on her. "I've gone way beyond dizzy and I don't think I'll be able to pick myself up if I fall again. Not now. Not after everything." Tears were shinning in her eyes and his resolve was breaking. His fingers were twitching to wipe at the tear that had just escaped over her cheek, his arms longing to gather her to him, his lips craving to kiss away her doubt. "So go on then…" She swiped a hand between them as more tears added to the streak on her cheek. "Tell me you don't love me and finish this."

Jack looked at her, his dark eyes wrestling with his conscience. He couldn't watch her like this; he couldn't hurt her like this.

"I can't do that…" he whispered, not taking his eyes off her. A sob escaped her and she flung her body around, her head dipping as a few strangled cries escaped her.

He was beside her in moments, his arms sliding over her shoulders; his chest pressing into her and his hands took hold of her as pulled her back to him. He turned her and she clung hungrily to him, pushing her face into the crook of his neck, her nails feverishly clawing at the fabric of his shirt as if she could pull his whole being inside of her.

"Why?" She implored him, between laboured hitches of her breath. "Do you love me?" She sniffed at his silence and continued, more steadily, "Answer me."

"…more than you can imagine, Sam." She seemed to stop breathing for far too long, so he pulled his head away a little to look down at her. Her eyes turned up to him as she felt his gaze.

"Then why can't we-"

"Because I don't want to hurt you..." He grimaced, letting the sentence float off, wondering just when exactly his brain was going to catch up with his mouth. When had he decided to tell her that little tid-bit?

She blinked, pulled her head up level with his and searched his eyes. "You couldn't," she told him resolutely.

"I'm not enough, Sam," His eyes moved with frustration and they darkened as he thought about continuing. "You deserve so much more. You need so much more."

Her tears were back again, falling silently as she gazed at him, stricken by his words. Her hand moved fluidly to his cheek and she smiled sombrely as her fingers trailed along the skin of his jaw line, her nails tickling at the stubble it wore. "I need you, Jack." His lips parted and he sucked in a breath and her fingers moved swiftly over his lips, silencing him. "I couldn't settle for anything less and there is nothing more - I love you too much."

She felt air pass her fingers as he took a sharp breath. She let them fall back to his jaw and when she was satisfied he was going to say no more her fingers curled along it and gave his head a gentle nudge toward her. She watched his lips as the thumping of her heart grew so powerful she felt as if her body was shaking with each pump it made. Her eyes lingered a moment as his lips hovered mere centimetres from hers then she flicked them up to watch his eyes, to make sure this is what he wanted. They slipped close before she had time to decide. The softness of his lips pulled at hers and sent a quiver coursing through her, tickling all the way down to her toes. He pulled her closer, wanting more as he pressed his lips more firmly and she responded by melting into his arms and wrapping her own around his neck, tangling a hand in unruly tufts of his silver hair and trailing hotly over the skin of his neck with the other.

She felt his fingers dig gently into her as his tongue teased at her lower lip and she was sure she felt a smile trickle through the kiss when she gasped at the sweet assault allowing his tongue to slip inside to softly and slowly dance with hers. He tasted of coffee and Jack and she felt a moan illicit, unbridled deep in her throat. His hand found its way into her hair and the other pressed her backwards into the support of the counter. His teeth bit tenderly on her lower lip and she barely had time to revel in the feeling it erupted when his tongue darted quickly over her top lip and her moan was muffled as he devoured her mouth eagerly again. Feeling a little vertigo Jack began to unwind the passion of the kiss by gradually nipping and teasing her lips, slower and slower until her lips pulled against his one last time and he opened his eyes, missing the softness of them already. Slowly, Sam took a deep, tempered breath willing her heart to still as her eyelids opened lazily to see Jack smiling widely at her. She flashed a bashful smile back at him and whispered, "Wow."

"Yeah…" he agreed, cupping his head around the nape of her neck and pulling her close to him again.

"So…" He smiled at her coyness and kissed her hair, inhaling her scent without guilt.

"We can talk tomorrow, Sam." He raked his fingers through her hair as she leant her head to his chest.

"Then you're…"

"Not going to fight it anymore," he confessed and he felt her grip tighten on him. His chest moved with silent laughter. "I don't even think I could if I wanted to after that kiss." He felt, rather than saw her smile.

"What about…?"

He knew she was worried about the rules they had broken in the sweetest manner just now. "Have I told you that my knees have been giving me grief lately?" He grinned when her baffled face rose up to stare at him. "I think it's time they went on a fishing trip, don't you?" She pulled out of his arms slightly, narrowing her eyes with mirth at him.

"Jack?"

"A very long fishing trip?" A smile broke out on her face.

"Only if it's what you want."

"Oh," he said, gazing deeply into her eyes and grazing her lips with his thumb. "It's definitely what I want," he assured her. "But like I said, we'll talk about it tomorrow." He untangled himself from her and laced his fingers into hers. "Right now - I know a doctor that has given me strict orders to make sure you take it easy."

"Jack," she started, protesting.

"To bed with you!"

"The spare is full," she countered, knowing Daniel and Teal'c were in there.

"I'll take the couch. You can have my bed." Her lips parted to argue and he lifted a hand into the air. "Don't argue, Carter. Remember, I'm still your CO." He glanced over his shoulder as she dragged behind him. "For now." He knew he could get a grin out of her. "Now." He opened the door, flicked the light switch and lightly gave her a shove inside. "Sleep."

"Yes, sir," she teased, grinning like an idiot. He rolled his eyes as she waved two fingers in a mock salute. "Goodnight, Jack."

"Night, Sam," he whispered, his eyes twinkling as he pulled on the door. When he had it halfway closed, he pushed it open a little again. "Sam?"

She turned around, eyebrows raised.

"If I wake up tomorrow and realise this didn't happen…" She smiled curiously at him. "You have permission to do that kiss all over again." His eyebrow danced up and down suggestively and she giggled at it.

"Sweet dreams, Jack."

He closed the door and skipped down to the living room, "Oh, they will be…"

Any thoughts?