Note from the Author: I'm not completely sure what the prompt for this was.
0
"What a day," Temari murmured, slipping from her sandals and leaning her fan against the wall. "Kankurou," she shuffled into their living room as she freed her hair from her pigtails. "Gaara's not home yet?"
Her brother sat on the floor, surrounded by tools, his disassembled puppet laid across his lap. He shook his head. "He won't be back till later. He's in council meetings all day." He looked up. "You look beat; what were you up to today?"
She grimaced, resting her head and shoulder against the doorframe. "Well, as patrol captain, I had to make the weekly rounds of the stations today to make sure everything and everybody was in proper working order." Her eyes fell closed. "It goes without saying that they get pretty lonely up there. They were all practically drooling when they remembered their captain was a woman."
Kankurou snickered. "Please, you're no woman."
Her head shot to attention. "What?"
He shrugged. "You are not a woman?"
She stood straight, hands on her hips. "How am I not a woman?"
"Well," he leaned forward, a hand on his knee supporting him. "You punch like a man, you eat like a man, you definitely belch like a man. You might as well be a man. You're definitely not a woman."
Temari glared dangerously, and, to his surprise, stalked away, muttering to herself about stupid little brothers that need to be taught a thing or two.
He blinked after her, confused and uneasy that she hadn't pummeled him where he sat. Basically, that meant he should be expecting something far more scarring in the near future. He shrugged, returning to the repair of his weapon. He might as well do something productive with the last moments of his life.
0
His scars came half an hour later, in the form of something soft and black slamming into the side of his face. Peeling it off his shoulder, he identified the weapon as silk panties. What the -?
"Not a woman, huh?" Temari dropped a basket of clothes beside her, a lacy camisole hanging by its strap from her index finger. "I'll show you womanly."
Oh, yes, this was scarring. Kankurou figured there was nothing more emotionally-traumatizing than being bombarded with his sister's pretty intimates. Unfortunately, she was very much a woman in the fact that she didn't take insults lightly, and despite his wails for mercy, she didn't stop her onslaught.
"I'm as much of a woman as any kunoichi can get!" Temari was yelling, hurling bras at him. "And, I'm strong enough to kick any man's ass because I am a woman and a jounin and a damned great ninja!"
"Stop,
Temari!" Kankurou was shouting too, his arms lifted in defense
before his face, his puppet pulled up in front of him, taking the
brunt of the flying underwear. "I get it, I get it!"
0
Gaara sighed softly, trudging up the walk to his front door. He could already hear his brother's shrieks, which could only mean he had said something stupid to Temari, who was now simply waiting for him to cry 'uncle.' Stepping inside, the noises were distinctly louder, and he took his time entering their living room, where he could tell the beating was taking place. Of course, the sight he found was not the one he expected and, if he was adept at showing his emotions, he would have been a strange mix of confusion and shock.
Temari, realizing he was there, froze, her arm poised to throw, a lacy purple bra in her fist. Kankurou was cowering on the floor, arms folded protectively over his head, underwear draped over his shoulders and knees, his body shaking with something between laughter and tears. When he realized the attack had seized, he cracked a wary eye. Both siblings opened their mouths to explain at once.
Gaara lifted a hand, signaling them to not speak, because he didn't want to know, and walked between them into the kitchen, with the quiet command of "Carry on."
He didn't see Temari's wicked grin.