Warning: Extreme OOC (there's a reason for this and it will be explained as chapter progresses), weirdness, sexual references and foul language. Any misspellings or wrong grammar is unintentional. I am my own beta. I could have missed some stuff.

I do not own Naruto.

ROOM-MATE

A moment of silence passed between the two students; Iruka could feel the scowl etching in to his features.

"Yeah." Kakashi finally answered after staring for a long while, chewing slowly. "Want a bite?"

Iruka stared at the hamburger like it was a carrier of rabies and shook his head. "No thank you. I'm full." He shook his head.

"You sure? It's still warm and juicy." Kakashi took another bite, licking the side of his lips to further emphasize just how juicy the huge burger was.

"I am aware of how juicy it is. Route-66 makes the best hamburgers." Iruka frowned, eyeing Kakashi as he swallowed thickly and took another bite.

"You want a bite or not?" Kakashi asked, mouth filled with grounded cow, dressing and bacon.

"That's beef?" Iruka asked just to make sure. He trusted his nose but with someone like Kakashi, he didn't want to take his chances.

"Yeah." Kakashi took a sip of his apple flavored soda; Iruka inwardly gagged at the flavor.

"Not pork?"

"No."

"Didn't you say you were a vegetarian?" Iruka accused, looking unhappy and nearly pouting. He did after all, go through quite an ordeal when he gave Kakashi an omelet sandwich.

"Yes. But that only applies to chickens."

Iruka blinked then he blinked again. "I'm sorry. Excuse me?"

Kakashi rolled his visible eye. "I am a vegetarian and am completely against the slaughtering of chickens for the sake of food. And eggs."

"But eggs aren't even alive!"

"It's life, goddamnit! That egg yolk, that little orange blob -"

"Yellow." Iruka corrected irritably.

"Orange!" Kakashi insisted, swallowing the food he shoved in to the corner of his mouth. "It turns in to a chick! A tiny, feathery, helpless little -"

"You're eating a cow!" Iruka pointed.

"So?" Kakashi bit in to the burger once more.

"You feel sorry for chickens and claim to be a vegetarian and yet you're eating a cow? A cow! A damn grounded cow! Cow!"

Kakashi swallowed and replied with a roll of his eye again. "I'm not deaf you know?"

"Why are you eating a cow?"

"Because they're good. And they're not cute. Chickens are cute."

"They are not!"

"I fail to see why you're making a big deal out of this." Kakashi grumbled.

"Because you -"

"Sit down." Kakashi patted his bed. Iruka stared at his bed, debating the pros and cons of sitting on Kakashi's bed. "Go on, just sit."

"Why?" Iruka grated out.

"Sit!" Kakashi screamed at the top of his lungs.

Iruka sat down immediately at the scream the moment his mind reminded him that Kakashi owned a set of hammers. He tried not to move much so that he wouldn't take up more space than he should. He watched as Kakashi set his half eaten burger on his bed and dug through the paper bag, pulling out another burger and handed it to Iruka.

"Oh, please, no. I can't possibly -" Iruka changed his mind immediately and snatched the burger when Kakashi pulled out a hammer from under his pillow, raising it to hammer down on Iruka's shoulder. "Thank you!" Iruka squeaked, eyeing the hammer.

"Eat." Kakashi said, hammer now resting on the mattress while his other hand picked up his half eaten burger.

"I really think I should save this for later. I am quite -"

A loud resonating clang sounded off as Kakashi hammered the metal rim of his headboard hard and screamed at Iruka. "Eat!"

"Eating!" Iruka quickly peeled the wrapper and took a large bite off the burger, which much to his delight was the mushroom special with extra dressing. He could feel his head float up in burger-paradise at the richness of the taste. He felt his eyes roll back at the pure heavenly and melting taste that tickled his tongue. "Do you have ketchup?" He asked with a mouthful of burger that he quickly swallowed and apologized for his display of rude eating manners. "Sorry."

Kakashi ignored everything all together and dug out a sachet of ketchup from the paper bag. "Here."

"Thanks." Iruka accepted the sachet and proceeded to have his burger with his ketchup. When he squeezed the last of the ketchup, he was surprised to find Kakashi holding another sachet up his face while he continued to eat with his other hand, not looking at Iruka even when the red sachet was practically up Iruka's nose. "T-Thanks." Iruka mumbled and took the sachet quickly before it moved further up poked him in the eye.

He was happily eating his mushroom special when Kakashi patted him on the shoulder and handed him his open can of apple flavored soda. "Drink."

Iruka shook his head quickly, revolted by the smell of the soda. "N-No!"

"Drink!" Kakashi screamed.

"No! I hate it! It tastes like dish-soap!" Iruka squeaked and got off the bed, burger and ketchup in hand.

"No, you liar! It does not!" Kakashi took a sip. "It tastes like sweet apples!"

"Yeah. Whatever you say." Iruka was slowly turning a shade of green at the sight of Kakashi drinking the soda.

"Well, then if you don't like it, what do you like?"

"Orange."

"You're sick." Kakashi gave him a look of disgust. "I don't know how you swallow or chug down that awful flavor. It tastes like moldy feet."

Iruka choked on the burger he was chewing. "M-Moldy feet?" He couldn't believe his eyes when Kakashi nodded. "How would you know how moldy feet taste like?" Iruka asked incredulously.

"I was sexing up a person back during undergrad years. It was dark and he had athlete's foot." Kakashi answered, sipping his soda. "I didn't know." Iruka felt his brow twitch and his stomach turn. "Can you stop sitting so stiffly? You look like you're about to shit your pants."

Iruka sincerely tried to relax and took a slow bite off his burger, trying to forget what Kakashi just said. When he couldn't try any harder, Iruka's shouldered merely slumped and he sighed. He should have expected something as weird and outrageous coming from Kakashi. At least his reason with the apple soda tasting like dish-soap was justified because it did taste like dish-soap. It even smelled like dish-soap.

Iruka finished his large burger and crumpled the wrapper in to a ball to which Kakashi held the paper bag open for him to dispose in to. Iruka gave a quiet burp behind his hand and looked at Kakashi. "Thank you for the burger."

Kakashi wasn't looking at him or listening to him but was, instead, keeled over his headboard and digging out another paper bag from his backpack on the floor. Iruka watched in confused silence and took it as a sign to get off Kakashi's bed. He stood up only to feel Kakashi's tight grip on his forearm, the pale fingers squeezing and holding him in place.

"Did I tell you to stand?" Kakashi asked.

"Uhm -"

Kakashi pulled him down the bed roughly, making Iruka lose his balance and end up half sprawled on the bed. He watched as Kakashi emptied the bag on the mattress, different types of chocolate bars scattering all over the checkered bedspread. "Eat. Dessert." He didn't even wait for Iruka to pick one out and just started peeling one of the bars and took a large bite. "Well? Eat! Should I feed you myself or should I -"

"Eating." Iruka picked one and took a bite. He was glad to find his favorite chocolate bar amidst the pile of colorful wrappers.

As he sat there, eating chocolate bar after chocolate bar with Kakashi, he couldn't help but wonder what was the catch or if this was just one of Kakashi's weird ways in making friends. He just decided to make the best of the situation. Besides, most of the things on the pile were his favorite and his sweet-tooth got the better of him.

XXX

Iruka nibbled at his boring mess hall burger while Izumo and Kotetsu eyed him critically. Iruka couldn't help but think of Route-66, comparing his current burger with the heavenly one he had last night with Kakashi. One would think he was depressed and had a breakup with the gloomy expression he had on his face and at how slow he was chewing his lunch.

"You're not even eating with ketchup!" Kotetsu exclaimed, glancing at the untouched sachets on Iruka's tray. "What is wrong with you?"

"I had a hamburger with Kakashi last night." Iruka mumbled, making his two close friends choke on whatever they were chewing. "This burger's bland. He got me my favorite last night. The mushroom special from Route-66."

Izumo put his food down and took a quick sip of his soda. "Didn't you say he was a vegetarian?"

"I thought that too. But no, he isn't. Despite what he says, I know he eats chickens secretly!" Iruka hissed, biting his burger and tearing out the entire lettuce piece.

"So is this why you're a gloomy little rain cloud?" Izumo asked.

"This burger sucks." Iruka answered, taking another bite off.

Kotetsu sighed. "Then why are you still eating it?"

"I'm hungry, 'Ko. It's not like this place has anything better to offer. Besides, this one is just as big. I just think they -" Iruka was cut off when the burger from his hand vanished, only to be replaced with a newer, larger one with a familiar white and yellow wrapper. Iruka noticed how Kotetsu and Izumo were simply staring at the person beside him and it was only when he looked up did he notice that it was Kakashi who handed him his all time favorite burger.

"Don't eat this trash." Kakashi gestured at the cafeteria burger he was now holding. "It's actually mixed with tofu."

Kotetsu slapped a hand to his mouth to muffle the gagging noise he made. Izumo looked away, and mumbled, "Sick."

Iruka stared at the new burger in his hand and handed it back to Kakashi. "No, thank you. I cannot accept this."

"Do you want to sleep tonight?" Kakashi threatened.

"That's not going to work anymore." Iruka frowned.

"Yes it will when you find half your head gone. Do you want to see my hammer?" Kakashi asked.

Izumo and Kotetsu's face colored a shade so red that Iruka wondered if their brain vessels were going rupture. "Not interested."

Kakashi didn't look happy. "It's big, I swear. It'll hurt."

"Excuse me." Kotetsu left, cradling what suspiciously looked like a nosebleed.

"I'm going to hammer you so hard, you won't know what hit you." Kakashi threatened, handing Iruka the burger back.

Izumo followed Kotetsu out immediately. "Pardon me."

Iruka watched two of his friends go, cheeks coloring a bit - Kakashi was an attractive young man after all - before it all sunk in. "Okay, that's it. What's the catch?"

"Catch?"

"This is the second time you've given me a burger that costs more than sixty ryos. Weeks ago, you were living on pickles - I frankly cannot comprehend how you tolerated days of eating pickles." Iruka set the burger Kakashi gave him on the table. "And now you've bought me two burgers. What's the catch? Am I going to have to repay -"

"I got money."

"But you were -"

Kakashi sighed. "Just take it."

Iruka hesitantly took the burger and nodded. "Thank you."

"Is this seat taken?" Kakashi pointed at the seat beside Iruka.

"No." Iruka shook his head.

"Oh and here." Kakashi pulled out a can of orange soda from his backpack.

Iruka found himself momentarily speechless before smiling gratefully at Kakashi. "Thank you."

Kakashi gave out a grunt in reply and started tucking in to his own burger, sipping that horrid apple soda again. Iruka watched out of the corner of his eye at how Kakashi pulled out a bag of potato wedges and pushed it towards his tray. "Potatoes." Iruka eyed the wedges and hesitated. "You can put ketchup on it. I like ketchup."

Iruka's eyes twinkled as he squirted some of the ketchup on top of the potato wedges. He was just about to enjoy the warm wedges with Kakashi when a person passing by stopped and started staring.

"Ah!" Gai screamed. "My rival is having a burger! I too shall have a burger or else, I shall around one-hundred times around the soccer field."

"You're not allowed junk food remember?" Kakashi informed Gai casually.

Iruka felt his appetite leaving him the more Gai lingered.

"How hip and modern my rival is! Very well. I shall, instead, have a vegetable - oh is that Iruka?" Gai peered at Iruka's face, giving the poor tanned man an eyeful of un-plucked and hideously thick eyebrows.

"Get off him!" Kakashi glared. "Can't you see that your company is not -"

"You are eating the same burger as Kakashi?" Gai queried, staring at the burger that Iruka was gripping just a tad bit tighter than he should be.

"Y-Yes. He gave it to me." Iruka said and watched as Gai's jaw comically fell open.

"H-He - M-My rival gave you a burger?" Gai asked, incredulous as his eyes started to water.

Iruka thought something was wrong and quickly let go of his burger. "Gai-san, are you all right?" He quickly fumbled at his pockets for some tissue because Gai was tearing up so fast.

"Hatake Kakashi gave you a burger?" Gai screamed in question, disbelieving as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Iruka paused midway in pulling out some folded tissues from his pocket to find everyone in the room staring at him with wide eyes. He quickly turned to look at Kakashi, who was merely eating his burger like the commotion didn't even exist. Iruka could feel his hands shake and his face morph redder than the ketchup on the wedges he and Kakashi were sharing.

"Uhm Gai-san, I don't think it's much of a big -"

"And he's eating beside you!" Gai pointed at Kakashi shrieking. "You're eating burgers with him!"

Iruka was aware of simultaneous clanging noises of forks, knives and spoons dropping on the table as everyone looked on with even wider eyes and open mouths. "Uh -"

"Oi! What's all the commotion about?" Genma came sauntering towards Gai. "Gai, wipe your tears!"

Iruka shakily offered the tissues from his pocket towards Gai, who snatched it and wiped his eyes, then blew his nose. Iruka was already shoving his things in to his bag as quietly as he could, trying to look like he was not moving at all even though more than fifty pairs of eyes were directed at him.

"Genma, my friend. You wouldn't believe it!" Gai exclaimed, completely being ignored by Kakashi who was halfway done through his burger.

Genma was already picking on the wedges and shoving piece after piece in to his mouth. "Wouldn't believe what? What's everyone looking at you for?"

"Not me, my youthful friend. But him!" Gai pointed at Iruka. "Kakashi, my eternal, hip and modern rival gave the sweet and lovely Iruka a burger!"

Iruka glanced at Genma's face and the reaction was immediate; Genma started to choke on the wedges that were rightfully his and Kakashi's. "What is the big deal?" Iruka growled. "For god's sakes, here. Drink it!"

Gai waved his hands "No Iruka! Don't give -"

Iruka shoved his soda at Genma who was turning an alarming shade of blue and watched the choking man took a long gulp and patted his chest a few times. "Bloody hell." Genma gave an acidic burp and blinked several times. He didn't get much further than that because he felt Kakashi's hand around his neck.

"Kakashi!" Iruka gasped. "Let go of him! You're choking him!"

Everyone was out of mess hall within twenty-five-seconds flat. Gai was already trying to haul Kakashi's grip off Genma's neck and only ended up in having a faceful of coleslaw from someone's tray in the next table.

"How dare you drink that soda?" Kakashi growled, visible eye looking murderous and ready to rip out Genma's head if need be. As much as Genma wanted to answer the question, he couldn't because he was busy making gagging noises.

Iruka quickly gripped at Kakashi's wrists, attempting to pull it off the choking man before Kakashi killed anyone. Iruka couldn't tell if it was a prank or not because Genma was already starting to drool and his eyes had already rolled up his head. When Iruka dug his nails in to Kakashi's pale wrists, Kakashi shoved Genma backwards towards the floor, toppling a few chairs on the way. Iruka was knocked forward with the force but was immediately pulled back and nearly lifted to his tiptoes, a cry tearing itself from his throat as Iruka found himself face to face with Kakashi, staring in to both his eyes.

Mismatched eyes.

Iruka felt his eyes widen and his knees go weak at the sight of the bloody-red iris of Kakashi's always covered eye. He wasn't wearing a headband that day; he had used his hair to cover the scarred eye. Iruka felt his voice leave him and couldn't do much except gasp when he was pulled closer, nose nearly touching Kakashi's. He could feel Kakashi's breathing against his lips, eyes looking like an angry caged animal.

"Did you know?" Kakashi asked. "That when someone gives you something, it is a sacred symbol of some sort of base-relationship?" Iruka could only suck in a choking breath in reply as he stared at Kakashi furious face. "You've just defiled that. You've made me very angry. You don't want to deal with me when I'm angry." Kakashi gritted out, making Iruka shut his eyes in fear.

He was starting to hyperventilate, old and sleeping memories replaying in his head when he was a child. It was the day he got the scar across the bridge of his nose; the day their school got raided by a monstrous man who taking the entire first graders as hostages and was hurting his first real friend. Iruka had tried to save his friend, only to end up being held in the same helpless manner Kakashi was holding him up, angry words being breathed down his face. That friend he tried to save ended up with a bullet in his little head; Iruka was sure he got over the trauma.

Iruka heard the cafeteria doors slam open and someone shouting. He felt himself on the floor and leaning in to someone's hard chest, hands shaking his shoulders, making him realize that he was screaming the entire time. He shut his mouth immediately, opening his eyes to come face to face with a person he recognized.

"You retards! How long were you going to keep this up? Look what you've done!" Raidou said angrily at someone Iruka assumed was behind him. "Are you all right? Can you stand?"

Iruka choked out a weak 'yes' and managed a nod.

"Good. Come on, let's get you somewhere quiet." Raidou whispered as he pulled Iruka to his feet, grabbed his things and helped him out of the mess hall.

Iruka didn't know what happened next. The triggered trauma that he thought he was over with made him dizzy. He wasn't aware of when he hit the ground or if he ever did hit it.

TBC

Because this chapter is longer than the first four, I will take longer to update. I didn't want to hack it in half and repost the continuing scene the next. So extra days till I update. Just to note, many of the reviewers' commends and guesses are almost right (some hit the mark actually). Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment. I adore listening to your thoughts and guesses.

Credits:

Route-66 is a burger joint my friends and I frequent at. They've got the loveliest juicy burgers. And the mushroom special is the best on the menu IMO.

The soda Kakashi was drinking would be a Fanta apple. Iruka prefers the Fanta orange.