-1Lily.
He did not cry. He couldn't cry for he didn't know how. Severus had never had anything or anybody to cry over before. But he felt pain, the worst pain he had ever felt in his life, worse than when he had splinched himself the first time he Apparated, worse than when he had been beaten by his father.
No, this was much worse. His Lily, his sweet, innocent Lily Evans was dead. The only person who had ever treated him with kindness, the only person he had ever dared to love was dead; Mercilessly murdered by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. But the worst part was that he was to blame. So blinded by power, and evil, and glory, he had turned the only person he had ever loved over to the Dark Lord's clutches.
Time had stopped. There was no more time. Severus made his mistakes, and he knew he would pay. He knew he would pay in the most painful, horrible way imaginable. He was not scared. He had done everything he could have possibly done for the boy, everything Dumbledore told him to do. There was nothing left for him to do.
Voldemort would be the one to murder him, and Severus knew it. He was not afraid to say Voldemort's name. He had stopped being afraid of the hypnotically grotesque, self-proclaimed Dark Lord the moment he had found about Lily's demise. Severus knew it would be best to be murdered by Voldemort; He would be closer to Lily that way.
"You're a wizard, Lily. You and I are going to do great things together."
Together. It had always been about being together. But where was she now? Lily had left him. It was all his fault. For so many years, he had put up with the insolence of Harry Potter just to get a glimpse of his mother's eyes: The eyes he had loved so much. It was like having James taunt him all over again.
Harry Potter. He had to see Harry Potter. There were things he needed to know, things Dumbledore had told him before his death. If Dumbledore was correct in his assumptions, Severus knew that Potter knowing his much hated Potions professor had loved his mother would not help him in his ever imminent battle against Voldemort, but Severus knew it would save hiself from a lifetime of Purgatory. Even if he deserved it.
"I don't need help from a filthy Mudblood like you!"
Yes. That was exactly what he deserved. He left Dumbledore's office -- Even after a year as headmaster, Severus could not put claim on the office. It was forever Dumbledore's, and he was forever the ruddy Potions master -- he couldn't just sit there! He had to find Potter. It occurred to Severus that this should've taken place years ago, when he was still young and still raging over Lily.
Don't deny yourself, Severus; You were never young, and the rage over Lily's death will never be put out. It is a flame that burns on its own accord. Nothing will ever stop it, nothing less than justice. Which you will never get from Voldemort.
He ran out into the corridor, vaguely hoping Potter would be there. "Expecto--" he started, intending to send Potter his doe Patronus, before he realized that time really was out. Tonight was the night that Voldemort would face Potter.
Severus's Dark Mark began to burn painfully. He was being summoned. "No!" he cried. "Not yet! There are things I have to do still…"
But he could wait no longer. The Mark was on fire. He ran, calls of "Coward!" ringing out behind him. He didn't care. It was too late. Severus wanted to scream, scream out his memories of Lily all over, he wanted it to be known throughout the Wizarding world (or what would exist of it after the Duel): Severus Snape, hated Potions Master, loves Lily Potter! He wanted Voldemort to know that his most faithful servant was never faithful to anyone but Lily and Dumbledore, that trusting him had been his biggest downfall of all.
Running blindly to the Whomping Willow, Severus became numb throughout every limb. He was going to tell Voldemort that he had never been loyal to him, that he was never going to be loyal to him…And Voldemort would kill him.
"Severus," said the cold voice of Voldemort.
Severus bowed low. "My Lord, you summoned me?"
Voldemort sat balancing his Elder Wand on his long, skinny white fingers. Voldemort proceeded to tell Severus that the Deathstick he held was not working properly. Severus smiled inwardly. Of course the Elder Wand didn't work for Voldemort: He was not the true master. "I'm not the true master." Voldemort raised his head to look at Severus, who kept his mind blank and impassive.
It was then that Severus caught sight of the snake, Nagini, protected by Voldemort. So this was how it would end.
Voldemort is going to kill Snape… There was someone else in the room, and Severus knew exactly who it was. He felt suddenly at ease, and then there was a terrible, biting pain. He felt cold.
"You and I are going to do great things together."
And suddenly, it seemed they finally would.