Warning: OOC, weirdness, sexual references and foul language. Now with added fluff and angst. Any misspellings or wrong grammar is unintentional. I am my own beta. I could have missed some stuff.

I do not own Naruto.

NOTE: Authoress is not very pleased with this chapter. It is too surprising, too sudden and utterly annoying. Can't come around it because it HAS to be done.

ROOM-MATE

As Iruka watched Naruto mount his SUV and rolled the window down to wave at him, Iruka couldn't help but feel sad to watch the boy disappear down the street, hand and a small part of his head visible from the open window. It was exactly nine-thirty in the morning and he had nothing to do now that Naruto was gone.

He headed back to his apartment and took out his old and faded cleaning clothes. His apartment looked like it could use some cleaning. Iruka lost track of time as he moved his furniture and attacked the dust bunnies with fervor of a crazy man; he wasn't even aware that it was already passed two in the afternoon up until the doorbell rang.

He set his mop down against the wall and pulled the rubber gloves off his hands. He had wet patches on his dusty shirt that smelled of cleaning agents and soap. He did manage to clean the entire house (it was a fairly small apartment) and was just running the mop over the hallway and kitchen floor once more while waiting for the floors in the living room to dry with the help of the open window.

He pulled the door open and blinked at the sight of Kakashi standing in front of his door, hands in the side pockets of a high collared jacket with a tight black tank top underneath, legs clad in snug fitting pair of jeans. Iruka didn't know what possessed him then and there, but he found his eyes roaming over the broad chest and firm stomach muscle and thinking between 'oh dear he's a fucking tree!' and 'why do boring and common looking clothes look good on him?'. A glance at Kakashi's feet told him that he had a pair of laced-up biker boots on.

Iruka took the time to glance down at himself then; he was scantily clad in old house shorts and a loose t-shirt with a hole on the side. His hair was no longer held back by the ponytail he retied that morning after seeing Naruto off.

"You're late." Iruka said lamely.

"You're not dressed." Kakashi said, sounding amused and eyeing Iruka too closely for comfort. The exposed eye roamed over Iruka's thighs before moving up to stare in to embarrassed brown eyes.

"I lost track of time. Was uhm - mopping. Come in?" Iruka offered, pulling the door open wider.

"Don't mind if I do." Kakashi said, smiling and wiping the soles of his boots at the doormat before stepping in. He started to take his boots off but Iruka shook his hand at the action.

"Don't bother. Have a seat. Would you like something to drink? Uh I have -" Iruka quickly thought back to the soda, beer and juice that he usually kept stock of in his fridge and remembered that he had none. "I have water."

Kakashi plopped down on the couch, slouching and completely getting comfortable. "Water is fine."

Iruka hurriedly carried the bucket containing unclean water in to the bathroom along with the mop and gloves. He dashed for the kitchen, took out a tall glass from one of his cupboards and filled it with cold water from the fridge. He came back out and handed Kakashi the glass.

"I'll be with you in a minute." Iruka said, glancing at the clock that read two-thirty-five. His stomach decided to growl then and this made Kakashi grin cheekily up at him.

Iruka flushed in an embarrassed manner and darted for the bathroom, locked the door and jumped in to the shower, carelessly tossing his dirty clothing in to the laundry basket under his sink. He turned the shower on full blast and stepped under the rush of water, hurriedly scrubbing at his scalp and body. He didn't know how he managed to be dressed and ready in fifteen minutes flat (five minutes to dry his hair) while not smelling like floor-detergent.

"That was fast." Kakashi commented, looking up at Iruka's flushed face.

Iruka didn't say anything and shrugged on the long jacket Kakashi gave him to wear over his sleeveless red shirt and jeans. He grabbed his sneakers from the shoe rack by the door and tied the shoe laces. Kakashi was standing beside him and opening the door when he stood up. Iruka once again felt his stomach flutter at the sight of Kakashi holding the door open for him. Even while they stood quietly beside each other in the elevator, Iruka could almost feel Kakashi's warmth radiating and filling the small space.

Throughout the bike ride, Iruka couldn't help but feel extremely awkward. When they were seated in a quiet restaurant that served good pasta dishes, Iruka found his eyes traitorously (again) roaming over Kakashi's collarbones, subconsciously fascinated by the dips and curves of Kakashi's upper torso built. As a man, he found himself feeling rather conscious of his smaller frame. He still had Kakashi's jeans, shirt and jacket in his drawer that he kept forgetting to give back. Seeing Kakashi's built, he couldn't help but be reminded of how Kotetsu used to tease him and Izumo for their pant sizes and how they always chose to buy a medium sized shirt/sweatshirt and look like balloons when a small was their real size. Looking at Kakashi's bare arms, Iruka suddenly felt his were too girly looking and quietly shrugged on his jacket once more.

"What's the matter?" Kakashi asked, not looking up at him from his menu. Iruka had a frown on his face without him being aware of it as he looked up confusedly at Kakashi. "You look like someone just dumped you."

Iruka felt his eye twitch. "Uh no. I just sorta' remembered that I forgot to give you your clothes back."

"Don't worry about it." Kakashi said as he set the menu down, seemingly decided on what he was going to have.

"It's been in my drawer ever since. Remind me to give it back." Iruka mumbled, cheeks coloring a bit as he picked off the third pasta dish on the menu-list that sounded cheesy and meaty enough for his tastes.

"Aren't you hot?" Kakashi asked, pointing at the jacket. "It's warm in here."

Iruka shrugged. He was indeed feeling warm but he didn't want his lanky arms exposed. "I'm not feeling hot."

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow at him while he waved for the waiter to come by to take their orders. Kakashi didn't get to reply to Iruka's obvious lie as the waiter came and took out his notepad. Kakashi told him his order while Iruka ordered his extremely-cheesy pasta dish. After the waiter repeated their order along with their drinks and scampered away to the kitchen, Kakashi turned his full attention to Iruka once more.

"No, really. Why are you angry?"

Iruka blinked, shaking his head at him. "I'm not angry."

"I think you look fine without the jacket, if that's what you're worried about." Kakashi offered with a little shrug.

Iruka stared at him and shook his head. "No, that wasn't it."

Kakashi grinned at him. "You're a terrible liar."

Something in Iruka's head ticked and his shoulders slumped. "Yeah, fine. Whatever."

"What's the matter? Really." Kakashi pressed, sounding genuinely concerned.

Iruka hesitated and chewed on his lower lip and attempted to lie again, hoping to stir the conversation away from the real deal. "You have a nice shirt. Is it expensive?"

Kakashi's grin seemed to spread wider. "Yours is nicer. But nice try."

"You know, I don't have to tell you anything. Because there's nothing wrong." Iruka grinned back cheekily.

"I'd like to help. That's all."

"Thank you. I'll take a rain check on that one."

"For real." Kakashi reached out for Iruka's hand and gave it a squeeze. "As a friend, I must listen to your troubles and beat up those who gave you said troubles."

Iruka briefly pictured Kakashi beating himself up with a baseball bat and laughed. He forgot that Kakashi was holding his hand in that brief moment as he laughed at the image his brain conjured up. He took a look at Kakashi's expression and burst in to a snickering fit. "Sorry. Funny image."

"Share?"

"No, you'll hate me more if I told you." Iruka sighed and leaned back, honestly stating his insecurity (and ignoring the frown on Kakashi's face). "You're a tree. It sorta' makes me feel like a twig."

Kakashi's pupil looked off to one side before moving to look at Iruka again, confused. "I'm a tree?"

"Not literally. I mean, you're big. Broad and well, a tree." Iruka sighed. "I'm four sizes smaller than you. Six if I want a snug fitting pair of pants and not loose fitting ones."

Kakashi blinked at him with surprise. "I didn't think you were that small."

"It's just disheartening for me in a sense that we're almost the same height and yet so completely ..." Iruka frowned and struggled to find a good way of putting his thoughts.

"Sizes apart?"

Iruka shrugged and gave him an almost helpless smile. "Yeah."

"Well, if it's any comfort to you, I think you're beautiful the way you are."

Iruka looked up and stared almost wide-eyed at what Kakashi just spewed. Heat crept up slowly towards Iruka's cheeks and he was suddenly very aware of just how warm and comforting Kakashi's hand holding his was. He stared at the hand and slowly pulled away to hid them under the table, where his thumbs proceeded to twirl around each other, nervousness swallowing him up.

"So I eat a lot of junk food. They say the best way to put on weight is to eat all the fattening things!" Iruka laughed at his own lame joke, trying to cover up his nervousness and pointedly ignored what Kakashi just said.

Kakashi didn't seem to be angered by the fact that Iruka was ignoring his 'compliment'. "Maybe if you worked out?"

"I was a runner. And still am I guess." Iruka shook his head. "I've been like this all my life. No amount of working out or eating seems to help."

"I refuse to believe that." Kakashi said, smiling. He did not mean it as an offense.

"I know. It's hard to believe but that's just how it is. I did manage to get to a size thirty from a twenty-eight; at least to the point where a thirty wouldn't just slide down my waist. Been like that ever since."

Kakashi laughed. "So that's why you put on the jacket? Because you feel you're too thin?"

Iruka eyed Kakashi's collarbone and chest before replying. "Do you have any idea how distressing it is? I've been mistaken for a female on more than one occasion before whenever they looked at me from behind."

Kakashi's eye crinkled in mirth. "It's because you have a very attractive behind."

Iruka rolled his eyes and slouched against the chair some more. "Not funny."

"I wasn't being funny." Kakashi leaned close, resting his chin against the heel of his palm. "I'm serious."

Iruka couldn't believe his ears. He fell silent for a long moment before he finally spoke, looking suspiciously at Kakashi. "Are you hitting on me so you can get in to my pants?"

"That sounds quite fun and lovely, but no, I'm not." Kakashi grinned toothily.

Iruka rolled his eyes at Kakashi, thinking that he was merely messing around like everyone else. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

Kakashi leaned back against the chair when the waiter came and set down their orders. When the plates were in front of them and the waiter bid them a cheerful 'enjoy your meal, sirs', Kakashi looked up at Iruka who was eyeing his pasta dish with childish glee that had at least more than three types of cheese in it.

"Just so you know, you don't look that thin to me. I think you look just fine."

Iruka blinked up at him as he took a forkful of pasta, twirling the cutlery around so that the string of cheese wouldn't be dragged out of the plate and make a mess. Iruka's cheeks were as red as the tomato chunks on Kakashi's plate. "Uhm thanks? If this is about tree thing or you being big just so that you can rub it in my face, I'll have you know that being skinny has its benefits and it can be fun when I want it to be and so on." Iruka babbled, blinking to himself when he realized that none of what he just said made sense. Kakashi looked utterly amused and was trying to suppress his chuckles. "Sorry. Seems like my mouth has run away from me again."

Kakashi shook his head as his eyes trailed down to Iruka's lips then back up at embarrassed brown orbs. "No, please, don't apologize. It's is your mouth that has me hypnotized."

This time, Iruka wisely kept his mouth shut (with his face even redder).

XXX

Iruka didn't know why he suddenly had the urge to just be near Kakashi all of a sudden. He wasn't blind or stupid to not know the fact that Kakashi seemed to be attracted to him but he was more confused with his own emotions (he was far too used to people having crushes on him). He didn't think he'd like the attention he was getting - how Kakashi would tug him towards the queue of the rides in the carnival or how he was just so chivalrous and all around charming when he bought him all the carnival treats from the stalls hence his confusion as to why he wanted to be near Kakashi. Kakashi seemed to like looking at him and seemed to enjoy making him laugh (or chuckle); his jokes were lame but Iruka found it funny because Kakashi was trying too hard.

Iruka didn't know that Kakashi hated the rocket and rollercoaster rides (it had four loops). Iruka was running out of ideas on how to convince Kakashi to take the ride with him.

"Come on, ride with me!" Iruka pressed, tossing his cotton candy stick in to the bin. "It's fun! You get heady and all. Kinda' like an orgasm."

Kakashi simply stared at him. "I am not throwing up my lunch, orgasm or not, unless I'm having good sex and even then, I hardly doubt throwing up is an option. I had cheese. So did you; three types might I add. Maybe more."

"Are you scared?" Iruka pressed, grinning up at him. "It's just a tiny, tiny ride. If you're man enough, you'd go with me and ride. Twice! Upfront, without stopping."

"I am not afraid of some twisting ride!" Kakashi denied, frowning.

"Good! Now come on!" Iruka took Kakashi's hand without thinking, tugging him towards the queue.

Iruka was excited to get on the ride. He never tried to get on a four-looped roller coaster and it looked very high. He always loved the feel of the cold biting air against his face as he hanged briefly upside down. He was a daredevil just like he was a prankster. Part of the reason he, Kotetsu and Izumo got along was because they all liked such dangerous rides anywhere. Kakashi remained as stiff as a board beside Iruka as he eyed the ride as the screams rang out loud with each loop.

"I don't like you very much right now." Kakashi tried again, sounding like one of the children Iruka used to teach.

"Oh suck it up. Be a man." Iruka nudged him on the ribs with the elbow, finally letting go of Kakashi's hand. "You're this big and you're scared of a ride? You make me laugh!"

Kakashi frowned at him. "Hey."

"You're not going to fall. It's perfectly safe." Iruka reasoned, smiling sheepishly up at Kakashi. "Besides, I'm right beside you. It's really, really safe, I promise."

"Fine. Fair enough. But after this, we're going on the Waterlog." Kakashi said, smirking.

Iruka turned to look at the ride on his far right, eyeing the large tub of water the ride was built on; the sight of it made the hair on the back of his neck stand. "Right, I'm confused." He said, tugging Kakashi forward as the queue moved. "You're too scared to ride the roller coaster but you're not afraid of that thing over there." Iruka jerked a thumb at the Waterlog. Kakashi gave him a put-out look. "Look, you don't have to ride this thing. I'm just messing with you. Really. It's okay. But I do want to ride it because it's got four loops and I've never tried four loops before." Iruka said in one breath. "Okay?"

"You'll ride alone?" Kakashi asked, somehow looking hopeful.

"Yeah. Well, not alone. But I suppose next to someone who doesn't have a partner or something." Iruka eyed the queue ahead of him, searching vainly for someone who isn't with someone already. "You know what, forget it. Let's go." Iruka shook his head, not wanting to ruin Kakashi's fun by forcing him in to the ride, chuckling to himself.

He figured he could drag Izumo or Kotetsu one day when they were all free. He was going to step away from the already moving queue (they were next in the ride) when Kakashi grabbed his hand and pulled him against his side (Iruka gave a light 'oomph' sound as he found himself pressed against Kakashi's firm side), guiding him in to the ride and quickly taking the front the seat. Iruka found himself shocked to find Kakashi strapping him up with his warm hands before he sat down himself and buckled up too.

"Think you can handle three rides at a time?" Kakashi asked, shifting in the small seat, the side of his thigh brushing against Iruka's.

"Three? I don't think the policy here allows -"

Kakashi grinned at him. "Nothing a little tip can't handle."

"Oh." Iruka grinned back. The ride jolted and slowly started to move forward, excited chatter echoing as they continued to move up the rail. "So what am I supposed to do if you start to get sick or faint? Any advice?"

Kakashi gripped the side bars tight. "If I start to puke later, you can wipe my mouth with your gentle, sweet hands and kiss me all better."

Iruka turned to look at him scandalously but got distracted as the ride dropped down and started moving too fast for him to even say anything other than scream and cheer with glee.

The ride went through three successive turns. By the time the ride finally pulled to a stop, everyone was ready to hurl their guts out. Iruka couldn't feel his legs and wobbled as he got off the ride, laughing like a maniac as he peered at Kakashi.

"You all right?" He asked, laughing and wiping tears out of his brown eyes.

Kakashi nodded, looking perfectly fine if not a bit unsettled. "Fine. Really."

"You don't want to hurl?" Iruka asked, taking hold of Kakashi's forearm and guiding him towards the exit. He found an empty bench and pushed Kakashi down to sit.

"I'm fine." Kakashi sighed, running a trembling hand through his hair. "I don't feel too good. I hit my cheek on the side bar during the loop."

Iruka stared at both Kakashi's cheek. "It's not bruising or anything."

"It hurts." Kakashi sulked, rubbing it like a four year old would.

"Want me to go get you a cold soda can? It helps." Iruka offered, looking at the cheek Kakashi was rubbing more closely, growing more concerned.

"No, it doesn't work with me." Kakashi grumbled, rubbing it again.

Iruka stopped the hand and pulled it down, tilting Kakashi's chin to the side to take a closer look at the skin. "There's nothing wrong with it. You sure you hit it or is the ride just making you delirious?"

Kakashi didn't budge from the hold Iruka had on his chin. "You're beautiful."

Iruka rolled his eyes and released his hold on Kakashi. "Let's go win something." He said quickly, feeling his cheeks color. "Maybe throwing balls at hard, heavy cans will take your mind off the pain. Come on, you big baby."

Kakashi followed wordlessly as Iruka guided him to one of the many game stalls that were handing out large stuffed farm animals as prizes. Kakashi watched as Iruka attempted to win him a black and white and very round stuffed cow and ended up winning the palm sized ones for him after the third attempt. Kakashi held it in the middle of his palm, staring at the beady eyes before turning to look at Iruka who was grinning up at him.

"It's shapeless." Kakashi complained.

"Well, I don't have a very good aim and I think those cans are made of lead. These cotton balls won't do justice against those cans." Iruka gestured towards the soft green balls before taking the plush-cow-doll and jiggling it in front of Kakashi's face. "Besides, don't you think he's adorable? Moooo take me home moooo?"

A smile twitched on Kakashi's lips as he took the plush-cow-doll and tucked it under an arm. "Well, then I guess it's only fair that I get something for you too."

"Oh no, no. I don't really -"

"That one." Kakashi pointed at a different game stall that involved throwing red metallic hoops over several green bottle tops.

"Hey, wait!"

Kakashi dragged Iruka towards the stall and paid for six rings. Iruka watched in silence as Kakashi flexed his arm, studied the bottles and effortlessly flicked the rings over the bottle tops. He missed one, but the five others slipped around the bottle-tops easily. There was a warm applause from the stall attendees as they picked one of the large stuffed blue crows and handed it to Kakashi.

Kakashi handed the plush-crow over; the plush doll was wider than Iruka. He had to wrap the orange legs around his neck and hold it up on his shoulders instead of drag it around.

"I think it's happy it's going home with you." Kakashi laughed, watching as Iruka shifted the over sized stuffed crow on his shoulders till he found a comfortable position to carry it.

"It's huge." Iruka laughed, grinning from ear to ear.

Kakashi tugged at his forearm and dragged him towards a small photo booth. Iruka didn't mind the pictures and didn't mind when Kakashi slid an arm around him and grinned cheekily at the camera lens. Iruka burst out laughing at the silly grin Kakashi was making (which made Kakashi laugh as well). When they stepped out of the booth where six photos were waiting for them by the slot, Iruka burst out laughing once more at the crazy expressions both of them had. They were candid moments and Kakashi allowed him to pick what he wanted. Iruka took two of the pictures, slipping them in to his wallet while Kakashi kept the other four.

"Just don't show that to anyone." Kakashi warned, trying to look stern.

"Right back atcha'." Iruka chuckled. "So what now?"

"I don't think I'm in the mood for any more crazy rides. We've tried almost everything except for the water log and Ferris wheel." Kakashi gestured to the large Ferris wheel with a tilt of his head. "What do you say we go for that one and then go grab take out? It'll be troublesome to drag that large guy around."

"Agreed. Let's go." Iruka picked up the stuffed crow and proceeded to walk towards the Ferris wheel.

The queue wasn't too long and they got in the moment they fell in line. The attendee bolted the door close and they started to slowly ascend upwards, the stuffed crow sitting in-between them. Iruka found himself staring the twinkling lights below him, feeling relaxed at the sight of the beautiful scenery. He leaned his head against the cool bar of their car, eyes growing distant as the cool night air blew around them.

"So, did you enjoy tonight?"

Iruka sighed contently. "Yeah."

"Good." Kakashi grinned. "I'm heading out for a movie tomorrow. Join me?"

Iruka looked at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because I like you and I want to date you. I want to be your boyfriend." Kakashi said bluntly, his exposed eye reflecting what Iruka guessed was sincerity. Iruka would be lying if he said that the straight forwardness wasn't a shock to him. "I want to spend time with you. Is that bad?"

"You don't even know me!"

"Then give me a chance to." Kakashi reasoned, pulling the stuffed crow to one side and slid closer to Iruka. Iruka found his eyes widening at Kakashi moving too close. Kakashi placed a hand over Iruka's and gave it a light squeeze. "I really, really like you."

"You lie to me. You irritate me. You weird me out. You've been trying to get me out of your room the moment I stepped in! How can you like me when you can't stand me?" Iruka asked, tugging his hand away from Kakashi's grasp, resulting in the taller man's grasp to tighten that refused to let go.

"I don't hate you. I wouldn't throw you out in the streets when you're in need of a roof. Whatever gave you that idea? Besides, I'm spending time with you now, aren't I? As brief as it may be."

"That's not the point. I - I don't know you. And you have no clue of who I am. You can't just - why are you doing this? You do strange things to freak me out and drive me insane and now you want to be in a relationship with me?" Iruka asked incredulously while his temper slowly started to escalate. He couldn't believe the nerve the man beside him had.

Their ride paused once they were completely at the top. Iruka was suddenly too aware of how cold it was and how hot his face was. He found his body tensing, heart speeding up and panic rising at frightening levels. Breath hitching in his throat, Iruka stared wide eyed at Kakashi's face.

"Because everyone says you're nice! It's irritating! So I wanted to see just how nice and 'patient' you were."

Iruka jerked his hand away. "You were just measuring me up?"

"Not fair from my side, but just hear me out for second." Kakashi reasoned.

"You tried to get me out, made me feel bad to the point that I wouldn't return to the room unless I really needed to just to get out of your hair and all this because you - this is not fair!"

"You were pissing me off! You wouldn't crack!"

"You wanted me to crack?" Iruka felt like the wind was just knocked out of him. "You sonofa - don't touch me!" Iruka growled, scooting away from Kakashi and pressing against the door. Their car rocked back and forth from his sudden movement, making Iruka grab at the bars.

"Will you shut up and listen?" Kakashi gritted out, pulling Iruka towards him. Iruka couldn't even fight the amount of force and strength Kakashi use to simply haul him over so that he was sitting beside the taller man again. "Listen! Just listen. Please?"

Iruka managed a squeak as Kakashi's hold on his shoulders tightened. "Don't hurt me ..."

Kakashi immediately released him and took his hand instead. "Everyone just keeps talking about you. I was curious. You're practically known as a saint on campus. And when those weird things weren't working on you, I just fell for you sometime in between. You're just so strange that way. So patient. I have never met anyone like you before and do you have any idea how hard it is for me to be even saying this out loud?"

Iruka stared in to Kakashi's visible eye, trying to figure out if he was being sincere or just messing with his head. The more he stared in to the Kakashi's eye, the more he felt unsettled. He couldn't help but feel that something was just off. Despite how his stomach flipped and how his chest fluttered with glee, he couldn't help but wince at what Kakashi said.

"You're lying."

Kakashi's gaze hardened. "I'm not. Would I lie about something like this? It's taken almost a month to confess and you think it's a joke?"

Iruka jerked his hands away as if they were burned. "Please, just - just don't. I don't want to be with anyone right now. I - We can be friends but -"

"Are you afraid of me?"

"I don't know you!" Iruka finally choked out. "I don't know you." He repeated, voice quieting and body moving away to put some distance between himself and Kakashi. "You're just my room-mate. Maybe even a friend. And this isn't a date or something. I don't know." He added quietly, heart going a mile a minute.

Kakashi moved back to lean against the bars right across from Iruka. He placed the crow back between them, looking out in to the scenery. "I shouldn't have said that. Now our evening is ruined. Just forget what I said."

Iruka stole a small glance at Kakashi's face, noting the frowning lines on Kakashi's forehead. Iruka swallowed thickly and turned looked at the scenery below him. Every once in a while, he'd steal another glance at Kakashi who was now holding the plush-cow between his hands, thumb rubbing at the spot between the two yellow horns. There was something about how Kakashi's shoulder slumped and how he was desperately holding the plush-cow he gave him that made Iruka rethink what he just said. As the ride finally slowed down to a stop (it started moving at some point in the middle of their brooding), Iruka couldn't help but think that Kakashi was genuinely hurt by how he turned him down. With the large crow sitting on his shoulders, Iruka followed Kakashi out the Carnival gates towards the parking lot, falling a few steps behind the taller (and bigger) man.

When Iruka couldn't take the silence he made a grab for Kakashi's hand, stopping him and tugging at the cold hand so that the man would face him. Kakashi did so, quietly looking at him in question, wondering what it was he wanted. Iruka couldn't help but shiver at just how fast Kakashi's hands seemed to absorb the cool air around them; his hand felt hot compared to Kakashi's. He stared at up at Kakashi's face, giving him an apologetic look. He didn't know what made him do so when it was Kakashi that triggered his entire mental trauma, putting him in his current messed up mental state.

Despite that, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry at Kakashi.

Kakashi didn't know him or his past. It couldn't be his fault.

"Listen, I -"

"Don't." Kakashi said, shaking his head and pulling his hand away. "It's okay."

"No!" Iruka made a futile grab at Kakashi's hand again to stop him from stepping away but ended up wobbling on his footing on the cobblestone sidewalk. The crow on his shoulder started to tilt to one side as Iruka desperately steadied his footing and forced the stuffed animal to remain steady on his shoulder. "It's not fair for me to just - oh damnit." He set the crow down on top of his feet, orange legs spread out and wings touching the ground. "I'm sorry."

"I said, don't." Kakashi repeated, gaze icing over.

"No, I have to say it." Iruka glared back. "Just let me finish."

"You're not very fair, you know that? You wouldn't let me finish and now you want me to let you?"

Iruka looked at his feet. "It's wrong of me but - but you were asking for it!" He looked up and gave Kakashi a tired look. "You can't just blame this on me! Put yourself in my shoes! You'd be pissed as hell if someone just walked up to you, start accusing you of things, weird you out and then all of a sudden you're going out and then he confesses? What the hell, Kakashi! You're the one who isn't fair!"

"Crush my heart and step on it, won't you? Want to run over it a few times with my bike as well?"

The words of rebuttal rising up to the tip of his tongue died the moment Kakashi gritted his reply out. A sudden tightening of his chest made Iruka want to swallow everything he said. He had his doubts, but assuming Kakashi wasn't lying like how his instincts told him, Iruka didn't think that the man deserved to feel the pain of rejection; no one deserved it.

"You're such a baby. Completely immature." Iruka said, torn between looking at Kakashi with pity, disgust and guilt. "That's what makes you so bloody scary."

Kakashi walked away from him, boots echoing against the pathway as he crossed the street towards the area his bike was parked at. Iruka didn't have it in him to follow. He walked the opposite way, the crow on his shoulders as he approached the subway staircase and descended. It was already quite late by the time he boarded one of the trains and sat down on one of the empty seats, leanings against his stuffed crow.

That night, he couldn't sleep at all.

He found himself half hoping that Kakashi would come after him; Kakashi did not.

XXX

Iruka was rocking back and forth from his cross legged position on the chezlong, Ryuuken watching him quietly with a concerned look of a doctor of his stature. It's been ten minutes and Iruka wasn't answering his question on how his weekend went.

"Would you prefer to talk about something else?" Ryuuken offered, trying to give his patient as much time as he needed. Iruka shook his head in reply. "Was it painful?"

Iruka chewed on his lower lip in nervousness, rocking back and forth faster. "It was weird." He finally said.

Ryuuken seemed pleased that the ice finally cracked a bit. "How weird?"

"My room-mate, Kakashi, confessed that he liked me last night."

Ryuuken had enough knowledge on which Kakashi was after Iruka gave him a brief explanation of who he was. "Does it bother you because he's a man?"

Iruka shook his head. "I'm bi but that's not why it's weird. He's just weird. I don't get him."

Ryuuken seemed to choose his words carefully. "Tell me why you think he's weird."

"He hates me. He does weird stuff. Like once, I found him racing turtles down the dorm corridor. He says he's a vegetarian or vegan or whatever but he eats burgers. He says chickens are cute but cows aren't so that's why he eats burgers. He collects gases in jars and - and he sings commercial jingles. Don't you think that's weird?"

"It seems so. But that doesn't really mean he hates you, does it? People have strange hobbies."

Iruka shook his head. "He accuses me of things but sometimes he ..." Iruka remembered how Kakashi hauled him off the ground when he fell off the bed after his nightmare. He remembered the gentleness Kakashi directed towards him when he treated his bleeding mouth and how he pulled his hair out when he was hurling his cuts out. "He helped me. He was ... kind." Ryuuken nodded in understanding. "But I think he's lying."

"How so?"

Iruka's brows knitted together in thought. "He's got this look in his eye. Like he's trying hard to pretend but it's not working. Like actors in a movie. It looks real and it can feel real but if you look closely, it's just a lie. It's not really what they feel. They're making it up." Iruka chewed on his lower lip again. "I feel that when I look at him."

"Maybe he's afraid of rejection?"

Iruka shook his head. "I don't think so. We went to the carnival last night. It was fun. He won this big blue stuffed crow for me. It's in my bedroom now."

"You like it?"

"It's nice." Iruka admitted, eyes softening as he remembered how Kakashi won it for him. "It's really big. Bigger than me."

A smile came to Ryuuken's face. "You sound like you like him."

Iruka fell silent and started rocking back and forth again. It took ten minutes before he spoke again. "I don't want to like him. I don't want a relationship. He's got dogs and he's got silver hair and ..." A pained expression crossed Iruka's face. "I don't want to be with him."

"You don't want to try?"

Iruka shook his head. "I don't know him. And I don't want to get in to another relationship. He hurts me! He - He says things that hurts and it's his fault!" Iruka's voice rose to a hysterical pitch. "I don't want to be near him! I just want my dorm room to be done so I can go back and everything will be normal again! It's not right to be with him!"

"Iruka -"

"He started it! If he didn't lift me up by the collar and looked at me so angrily and - and - he looks just like him! He's got fucking silver hair! And a dark eye! He's got dogs! How would I know that he wouldn't shoot one of them if he got pissed at me? How would I know he wouldn't peel my skin off and dig my flesh out and -" Iruka stopped abruptly, clamping a hand to his mouth. His eyes were wide and watering, facial expression horrified at what he just blurted out.

Ryuuken had a dawning look on his face (the photo-imaging was making a little more sense now) as he shifted in his seat and leaned closer towards Iruka. "What happened, Iruka?"

Iruka shook his head and started to cry, not wanting to speak. "He didn't mean it! He didn't! He was just - he was just angry!"

"Why was he angry?" Ryuuken asked slowly, coaxing Iruka to speak out some more.

Iruka refused to speak after that. Deep inside him, he didn't want to betray Mizuki anymore than he already did. The least he could do is take the mess Mizuki did to him to the grave no matter what the photographic imaging the hospital took of him told.

Scars were just scars after all.

XXX

Iruka found himself stranded under the small roof of the hospital entrance and exit. The rain was pouring too hard for anyone to be walking around without an umbrella or rain coat. Iruka had pulled up the hood of his jacket, helplessly starting at the sky and hoping that it would stop crying so much. The streets were deserted, an occasional motorist moving past every few minutes or so. Iruka found himself searching for motorbikes or even bicycles but found himself feeling severely disappointed when he couldn't find a single one.

He didn't see Kakashi when he returned to the room that afternoon (Kakashi never came to pick him up for the movie earlier that day). Iruka arrived on campus with just enough time to spare to drop off his backpack in the room before he headed straight for the hospital. He spent his day fixing up his apartment, emptying his kitchen and taking a long run in the beach. The run helped him forget his thoughts on Kakashi and what the man wanted of him.

After his 'quiet' session with Ryuuken (his eyes was still a bit puffy and sore), he felt worse. His path to healing was taking too much time and it was starting to grate his nerves. He knew he had to be patient; it took an entire year and half for him to get over the mess Mizuki left the second time round. He was hoping that this time it wouldn't take as long.

The rain was not showing any signs of stopping soon.

Iruka leaned against the concrete wall, staring at the multiple ripples on the slowly growing large puddle on the ground. He was not expecting it to rain so much; he would have brought an umbrella if he knew. A tired sigh escaped his lips as he fell to a crouching position, wall supporting his back. Twenty minutes later, it was still raining. Iruka hated feeling stranded for too long. He was aware that he must've looked like a puppy that got kicked out of the house. He didn't want to wait inside the seating-lounge of the hospital. He hated hospitals.

Another ten minutes flew by and he was already tempted to just run through the rain just so that he wouldn't look any more pitiful than he already did. Five minutes ticked by and Iruka couldn't take it anymore. He got back to his feet, pulled his jacket tighter around himself, hopped a few times on both his legs before running out in to the rain. His old running abilities came back to him, long runner's strides leaving large splashes of water as his boots soaked through. He was glad he wore his boots instead of sneakers that day. Although the run back to the dorm would have been faster if he was wearing sneakers (not to mention it would probably have been less slippery), Iruka was proud of himself that he made it back in eight minutes flat. He panted and dripped puddles as he raced up the stairs, quickly unlocked his door and headed straight for the bathroom. Peeling his clothes off and squeezing the water dry, Iruka hung his clothes on hangers, mounting them next to the shower stall before stepping in to the warm spray. He knew that if he kept getting careless the way he did, he'd end up getting sick again.

He vowed to carry an umbrella always from then on.

Iruka stepped out of the stall and dried himself off, wrapping the towel around his waist as he reached for his toothbrush and started cleaning his teeth. It was already nearing nine in the evening and he was feeling too tired to think of anything. He didn't have his dinner yet; he figured he could simply call for take out instead of going downstairs to have crummy and sandy mess hall food.

He ducked in to the room - towel secured tightly around his narrow waist - and reached for his cell phone. He called for a pizza and ordered a large sized pepperoni and extra cheese, feeling overly famished (even though he just had a sandwich on the train back). It was just his luck that the person on the other side of the line couldn't communicate properly; when the order was repeated, the moronic sob on the other side kept saying, 'anchovies with extra cheese and pineapple'. Iruka was starting to feel a headache come on as he argued and corrected the fool that he wanted pepperoni and cheese not anchovies with cheese and pineapple. The flavor itself made Iruka's stomach churn.

After ten minutes of arguing, the moron at the pizza place finally got it right and Iruka sighed, dropping his phone on the bed and picking up his boxers and sweat pants from the bed and pulling it on. He didn't want to comb his hair (that he'll need to trim soon) and get his shirt wet in the process. He stood by the window, staring at the wet parking lot as he ran his comb through the wet brown locks. He was in the middle of towel drying his hair when the door lock turned and Kakashi stepped in. Iruka felt his hands stilling in its process of drying and slowly raised his eyes to find Kakashi staring (in a manner that left Iruka completely unsettled compared to the other occasions) at him.

Iruka could feel the heat creep up his neck faster than he could blink. The towel fell on the floor from his limp hands as Kakashi stared at his chest and navel. Iruka glanced down at his bare torso and turned around, giving Kakashi his back, pretending that he didn't just get very flustered with Kakashi's stare. He could still feel Kakashi's predator-like gaze on his back as he continued to towel dry his hair. Iruka practically jumped in relief when he heard a knock on the door and threw it open, glad for the distraction. The poor delivery man was not expecting to find a shirtless (and very slender-almost-feminine) man answer the door.

Iruka wondered why the young man was gaping.

"Here, and uh thanks. Keep the change." Iruka handed over five hundred-ryos and popped the pizza lid open. "H-Hey, why are there olives on this? I didn't ask for olives." The young man was still mimicking a fish. Iruka glanced at the name tag and frowned. "Listen, Yamato-san, this is a wrong order. Maybe you grabbed the wrong box? Uh Yamato-san?"

The door Iruka was holding was jerked away and Kakashi towered over the surprised young man. "Oi. You! Snap out of it. I didn't get you this job just so you can fuck up."

'Yamato' turned his shocked gaze up at Kakashi (as did Iruka, who was confused). "S-Sorry, Kakashi-senpai. Am I interrupting anything? Am I more than fifteen minutes late?"

Iruka nearly dropped the pizza box. "E-Excuse me?"

"You messed up your orders. Where's Iruka's pizza?" Kakashi growled, glaring down at slightly shorter young man.

Yamato looked at Iruka then at the pizza box. "Oh, wrong box."

Iruka watched as Yamato took the box from his hand and replaced it with the other one he was carrying. A peek in to the box told Iruka that it was the right one this time. "T-Thank you?"

"Welcome. Enjoy your meal." Yamato said and hurriedly scrambled away when Kakashi took a step forward with a colder glare.

Iruka was pulled back in to the room while Kakashi slammed the door shut, hinges shaking from the force. "Put a fucking shirt on for fuck's sake." Kakashi gritted, toeing his shoes off and kicking them under his bed.

"What the hell is the matter with you? You didn't have to scare the poor guy till he pissed his pants! He's just doing his job! It's not unusual to mix up orders!" Iruka argued, setting the pizza box on his table.

"Put a fucking shirt on. Now." Kakashi groveled, throwing Iruka the coldest and iciest glare.

"Stop swearing like a sailor you retard!"

Iruka watched as Kakashi's face hardened to stone with wide eyes as he felt his back hit the hard wood of the door, large pale hands holding him in place. "Don't. Tempt. Me." Kakashi growled.

"P-Please don't. Don't do anything to me." Iruka whispered, eyes remaining as wide as saucers as Kakashi stared down at him, eyes lingering on the jewelry on his nipple and navel. "Please, Kakashi ..." Iruka begged, muscles tensed and incapable of moving.

"Do you have any idea of what I want to do to you right now?" Kakashi whispered, forehead nearly touching Iruka as a hand came up to push back the wet brown locks. "Do you have any idea of what you do to me?" Kakashi's deep and husky voice made Iruka's knees weak. "You're so beautiful. Fucking beautiful."

Iruka found himself sliding down the wood from his weakened knees, Kakashi's words shooting down to his stomach and pooling liquid heat that made him dizzy, Kakashi following him down as well. "K-Ka -"

"I want to fuck you." Kakashi bit out through gritted teeth, hands moving and wanting to touch Iruka's face. The words seemed to electrify the brunette, making his body tense and his breath hitch in his throat. "I want to touch you, feel this - this smooth skin under my fingertips." Kakashi breathed out, closing his eyes and head moving past Iruka's shoulder so that the pale forehead was resting against the hard wood of the door. "I want to hear you beg, scream my name, for these lips to whisper only to me. Only for me."

Iruka whimpered as Kakashi's fingers glazed over his lips, the soft flesh turning a dark red as if they were abused by a kiss. They parted to suck in shaky breaths, the pale fingertips feeling like burning wax. "Kashi -"

"I want to tie you up. I want to fucking hurt you for making me want this - want you." Kakashi growled, forehead sliding down and coming to rest on Iruka's shoulder. "I want to tie you up and bruise your wrists, tease you and make you come over and over again until you can't walk straight. I want to watch you squirm as I make you bleed, tear you open. I want to - fucking fuck you. Hard. Raw. Unprepared." Kakashi's hand trailed down, fingertips not touching but Iruka could still feel the heat. "To feel you tight around me, to feel you just beg and just - just around me."

Iruka found himself leaning against the door heavily for support from his dizzy state, Kakashi leaning against his shoulder, lips tickling his bare shoulder. Kakashi's words went straight from Iruka's ears to the warm sensation in his belly, further exciting the thousand butterflies swarming in his stomach. Iruka found himself trembling from fear at what Kakashi wanted to do to him; Kakashi was insane. The man moved to bury his nose in to Iruka's hair; the deep breaths Kakashi was taking echoed like raging rapids in Iruka's ear.

Iruka found himself wanting what Kakashi wanted to do to him. It would mean betraying Mizuki again and all the sincere feelings he had for the imprisoned man; it was sinful.

Iruka wanted it; he felt sick for wanting it.

"K-Ka-Kashi -"

"I want to mark you. Kiss the bruises I'd leave on these wrists," Kakashi took Iruka's hand, thumb lightly caressing the thin wrists. "And then take care of you, hold you and kiss your worries away. Kiss all your pain away. I want all this, this beautiful body, to be marked by me. I want to make you scream till you can't scream anymore and your throat hurt. I want to hear you say my name, to worship me." Kakashi hooked his pinky finger in to the belly ring, tugging at it slightly and making Iruka gasp and arch forward; the belly piercing didn't heal completely yet, the stinging sensation made Iruka groan and whimper, his manhood hardening in want. Kakashi moved his head to face Iruka, both his eyes gazing in to hazy dark brown eyes with pupils too wide that the warm chocolate irises was hardly visible. "You make me weak."

Iruka closed his eyes, breath hitching as he struggled for a coherent thought. "I - I -"

"Put a shirt on." Kakashi whispered hotly against Iruka's lips, eyes hardening even more as it tried to mask the lust and need reflecting in its depths. "Don't - Don't show this to me." Iruka watched as Kakashi hungrily drunk his half naked form, fingers ghosting over his chest and brushing at the cool jewelry on his nipple and navel before coming up to rest against the door beside Iruka's head. "Or anyone. I don't want anyone to see this. This body." Kakashi touched Iruka's cheek. "I don't want anyone to touch you. I won't let anyone touch you after seeing this."

Iruka exhaled slowly, trembling from the revelation, shamelessly aroused and wanting more. "I - I'm sorry." Kakashi stared at him for a long while before slowly moving away from him. Iruka grabbed him quickly. A portion of his conscious mind seemed to shut down at that point, the other portion that thought more of his personal needs and wants taking control. "Last night - I shouldn't have been - I was cruel. You -" Kakashi waited patiently, staring in to his eyes, hands clenched in Iruka's grasp. "This is -

Kakashi pulled his hands away and lifted Iruka off the floor, sitting him on the bed and picking up a shirt from Iruka's drawer. "Put it on."

"Kakashi-" Iruka took the shirt and watched as Kakashi took out his shoes that he previously kicked under the bed, grabbed his keys and jacket and headed for the door. "Wait, you can't - it's raining outside! Where are you going?"

A single icy gray eye gave Iruka a dark look before the door slid shut with a quiet click. Iruka found himself all alone in the room as he pulled the shirt over his head and reached for his pizza. From outside, he could hear the engine of a motorbike roar as it gradually faded to silence.

His pizza tasted like rubber. It was pitiful because it was his favorite flavor.

XXX

The pizza box lay forgotten on his table as he lay on his side, buried in the shirt that Kakashi handed him earlier, knees to his chest as he listened to the clock tick in the middle of the dark room. A glance up at his alarm clock told him that it was past midnight and he was yet to hear any roaring motorbike engine pull up in the area. He counted twelve cars that came in the last two hours but still no motorbike. He was starting to worry a bit, blaming Kakashi's loss of control on himself.

His mind replayed Kakashi's voice in his head. He could feel the sting in his navel ring from where Kakashi tugged earlier, the phantom pain causing his groin to stir. Iruka closed his eyes, touching cool fingers to his lips from where Kakashi caressed earlier, the memory further hardening his awakening arousal. The feel of Kakashi's lips on his shoulder as his words replayed over and over again in Iruka's tore a gasp and small whimper from his throat. Tanned hands wander past his waist band, taking the hard length and stroking quickly to relieve himself of the strain. He bit his lip hard to silence his moans, wondering if Kakashi were to touch him, would he like it if he chewed on his lower lip. He pictured the lingering heat of Kakashi's mouth sucking on his navel ring, the thought itself making his hard cock weep, slicking his thumb with hot white stickiness.

Iruka's eyes rolled back as he stroked faster, head tilting back and neck stretching as he felt the borders of orgasm approach him. He wanted Kakashi so bad and wondered how simple common and not even nicely said dirty talk could have such a huge impact on him. With gritted teeth, he came with a strangled moan, boxers going sticky and hands coated in warm white semen.

He remained lying on his side, sticky hand falling limp beside him as he stared at the dull wall of their room, the ticking of the clock replacing the echoing pants and whimpers that filled the room earlier. It was only several minutes later did the feeling of being soiled by sinful desires settled over him. He jerked up from the bed and hurriedly stepped in to the bathroom, turning the cold water on full blast. He wanted to forget the heat of Kakashi's hands on his shoulders, to erase the feeling of his moving lips as he spoke dirty and desirable words against his shoulder. He wanted to forget the feel of Kakashi's fingers on his lips and the breath against his hair.

Iruka remained under the cold spray for long minutes that he couldn't remember. He slid down the wall, bottom resting on the cold tiled floor, watching his hands and toes go pruney from being in the water for too long. He couldn't feel the coldness of the water and instead, he could feel Kakashi's heat all over him. The illusion his mind conjured up caused his groin to stir again as he watched the flesh between his legs rise up like a sunflower reaching up for the sun's rays. Soft and pruney fingers took hold of the begging flesh as he pumped hard, tears of hatred and despair dripping down his cheeks as he came painfully slow.

He watched the remnants of his release dissolve in to the water and crawl down the small holes of the drain. He brought his hands up to his face, hating himself for wanting Kakashi. It's been a long while since he allowed himself the pleasure of the flesh. Once in a while when he Kotetsu and Izumo would go barhopping, he'd indulge himself in the pleasure of being sucked off by a whore and maybe once or twice, he'd pay for a quick fuck. But other than that, he never dared to allow himself to want anyone after Mizuki.

How long he stayed under the cold spray, he couldn't remember. By the time he turned the water off and dried off (after pulling on a pair of cleaner clothes), Kakashi still didn't return. He was wide awake to do anything than sleep. He gathered his laundry, grabbed his keys and headed for the Laundromat. He was glad that it was open if not dimly lit. He was also mildly surprised to find that he wasn't alone.

Raidou was sitting on top one of the washing machines, a basket filled with colors and a packet of detergent beside him. Iruka felt so happy for the distraction and stepped in with his laundry, a smile coming up to his lips.

"Iruka!" Raidou cried out in pleasant surprise, quickly hopping down the washing machine he was sitting on to greet Iruka properly with a warm handshake. "You're as cold as ice! What did -" Raidou looked at Iruka's face and frowned. "What happened to you? You look terrible!"

Iruka dropped his basket weakly next to the nearest washing machine and started stuffing his whites in before turning the knob. "I'm tired. I'm - I'm fucked up, Raidou-san." He said, voice trembling and desperately wanting someone to talk to. "I - I'm sick."

Raidou shook his head tugged Iruka towards him, ushering him to sit on top one of the washing machines. "You're cold. You're pale." Raidou pulled off his sweatshirt and slipped it over Iruka's head, guiding the arms that felt like they were as heavy as lead through the sweatshirt's sleeves. "What happened? Do you want to talk about it?"

"I think I like him." Iruka said absently, as if he were just talking to himself.

"Who?"

"Kakashi. My room-mate. I want him to fuck me. I want him to own me." Iruka whimpered, wrapping his arms around himself. "I want him to hurt me and kiss me. I'm sick."

Raidou was staring at Iruka with alarmed and wide eyes. "W-W-Did he do something to you?"

Iruka huddled in to himself as tight as he could, making Raidou wrap his strong arms around him and hold him close. It didn't feel like Kakashi's (Iruka found it scandalous that he was comparing Raidou to Kakashi). He didn't hear Raidou's question. "Isn't it sick? For me to want someone in mere hours and to be - I am so sick."

Raidou tightened his hold around Iruka. "No, you're not. Stop saying that about yourself."

"Do you know how it feels, Raidou-san? To want someone so bad that it hurts? That the mere memory of his voice would make you hard? Make you want to come screaming his name? It's shameful. I am ashamed but my body -"

"Say no more." Raidou mumbled, caressing Iruka's hair in a very brotherly fashion. "It's all right. It's going to be alright."

"No it won't." Iruka gritted out, angry hot tears welling up in eyes again. His frustration was reaching new heights and just thinking about Kakashi and what the man wanted to do to his body was enough to make him hard again. "It will never be. I - I messed up. He asked me out and I'm a coward and I can't do anything about it because I don't do - I mean I don't know how - I wanted to go out with him to the movie this morning but I - he said that - he's a baby and I'm scared because he just lies a lot and I don't know what to do!"

"Let it out, Iruka. I'm here."

The sobs were muffled by the fabric of Raidou's shirt as Iruka continued to spew out utter nonsense; they were pieces of his psyche that he couldn't grasp and couldn't put to words easily. Raidou seemed to understand what Iruka was trying to say and hushed him in a manner one would when consoling a child. They remained in the dim Laundromat, Iruka's frustrated sobs echoing within the cracked walls, the steady hum of the washing machines accompanying it like a sad melody.

Iruka's fingers dug in to Raidou's back as he looked up at the man. "I'm the baby, right? I'm always crying."

"Sometimes it better to cry than to remain as hard as stone." Raidou said, smiling down in understanding. "I cry too."

Iruka's lips twitched in to a smile at the thought. "Raidou-san? Crying? No, you're too strong for that."

Raidou's smile was sad now, like he was regretting. "You never know."

Iruka stared up in to Raidou's dark eyes, sniffing in a deep breath and swallowing thickly. "You want someone too, don't you? Does she make you cry? Does he make you cry?"

Raidou moved to touch his cheek against Iruka's temple, a gesture Iruka understood to mean that Raidou didn't want him to see the emotions on his face. "He does." Iruka relaxed in to Raidou's arm, the emotional whirl his mind and heart just went through leaving him with fatigue. "Forget Kakashi, Iruka."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. One month is left before you can move out. This want for him to fuck you will go." Raidou said, pulling back and grasping Iruka by the shoulders. "You can't act on impulse. Think about this clearly."

Iruka shook his head. "It's not like that."

"Then how is it? You're a grown man. Think!"

"I have." Iruka screamed. "I have. For weeks, I've been thinking. That's all I've been thinking about. Kakashi and his stupid dates and his stupid quirks and his cold home and his dogs! Those lovely dogs!" Iruka buried his face in his slightly pruney hands, sucking in a shaky breath. "I think he's lying half the time. But he's so alone. His home - that awful cold yet beautiful home. He - He lives there. It's so - so dead. Lifeless. I - He likes me. He - He wants me." Iruka dropped his hands desperately looked up at Raidou. "Don't tell anyone! Not Izumo, not Kotetsu! They don't like him! They think he's weird and involved with -"

"Iruka, forget about Kakashi. Okay?" Raidou repeated, grip tightening till Iruka winced. "Do you understand?"

"I can't!"

"It's for your own good, Iruka!" Raidou argued, voice rising.

"I love him!" Iruka screamed out, eyes widening when he realized what he just blurted out.

"No, you don't." Raidou growled. "You don't love him! That's your lust talking! You can't love a person so quickly! You don't know him!"

Iruka trembled and gave out a frustrated scream; it was desperate and needy, like a caged animal who longed for freedom. Raidou quickly pulled him close, muffling the shout in to the fabric of his shirt as Iruka sucked in a deep breath and started screaming again. When his throat was raw and hot from the wild stretch of his vocal chords, Iruka slumped heavily against Raidou, silently staring at the weaves of fibers of Raidou's shirt.

"I'm so tired." Iruka finally croaked. "I'm tired of everything. I didn't ask for this ..."

Raidou released his hold on Iruka and left him to lean against the cold wall of the Laundromat. He started to take out Iruka's whites and stuffed his colored ones in for the next round. "It's all right. It'll pass. This is just another speed bump."

"I don't know what to do." Iruka curled up, back against the wall. "I don't know what to do ..."

Raidou sat on top of the washing machine and cradled Iruka's head against his lap. "You don't have to do anything. It will pass on its own."

Iruka remained silent, eyes drifting shut (they were dried and bloodshot). "I like him. I want to take him to the movies. I want to buy him popcorn and cotton candy and that horrid apple soda he likes so much." Raidou threaded his fingers through Iruka's damp hair to massage the throbbing scalp. "Do you think that's stupid?"

Raidou bit his lower lip and finally sighed. "No, it's not."

"Do you think it'd be stupid if I asked him out?"

"Iruka -"

"I want to. I really do. I also want to take him out to dinner after the movie." Raidou remained silent for a while. "Raidou-san?"

"Think about it for a few days? When you're thinking clearly at least? Promise me that."

"Raidou-san -"

"Please promise me that you'll think about it, Iruka!"

Iruka looked up at Raidou and studied the elder man's expression. He slowly nodded. "I promise."

Raidou nodded back and wrapped his arms around Iruka's head protectively. "Good. You better keep that promise."

TBC

This chapter feels very unchained together. I am still not happy. This was also supposed to be two chapters, but because I really, really, really want to finish this story, I've thrown two in to one.

Also, I would like to take a moment and opportunity to thank Kakashi2000 (who I hope will read this at some point) for drawing a lovely, lovely, lovely piece of fanart for what I'm working on to be a part of a scene in this arc. The link can be found in my profile page. It's so pretty, I just HAD to share it.

Anway, notes and credits:

Two dialogue lines here were edited and taken from 'Ever After' and "Last King of Scotland' (fantastic movies - go watch) to further fit the situation.

Ryuuken is not mine. He belongs to the creator of Bleach and Shounen Jump.

I chose SUVs for Naruto's personal use because I see him preferring Chevrolet Tahoes or Dodge Durangos over Mercedes Benz limos or something.

That scene with the pizza-ordering thing was actually inspired from a friend's story (happened to her sister or brother). They were ordering Mcdonalds and the guy just keep saying things that were too different from what they wanted. It was funny.

Past few chapters were 'supposed' to be Iruka's past, but I've moved that to another point of the story. As much as I'm enjoying in writing this, it's starting to irritate me because I'm slow (and I won't be surprised if lots agreed). So I will be trying to push more content in to each chapter just to cover more ground. Thank you for all your support till now. It's wonderful and keeps me going, really.