CHAPTER THIRTY: LOVE OF MY LIFE

Two weeks later (August 4th, 2010)

"Well, Remus, I think that's it for now." Tonks said as she set a good-sized brown box on the floor of Remus's new bedroom in the house he now shared with Sirius and Emily Thea. This new room was significantly larger than his was in his old house. Thank God Sirius is filthy rich, Remus thought bitterly. If it weren't for the size of Sirius's bank account, there was no way they could have afforded this house. It was a five bedroom, three bathroom estate near Harry and Hermione's, which, thanks to Harry, was located in Lily Rose Hollow, which bordered Godric's Hollow.
When Sirius had pulled Remus away from work and showed him the house, Remus had been floored. He knew there was no way he could afford it if Sirius wanted to go fifty-fifty on this deal.
"Sirius, do we really need all this space? There's no way in hell we do if you want me to pay for half. I can't pay for a quarter of this house." He had said.

"Remus, old buddy, old pal, we don't have to split everything perfectly even, do we? If you want the house, fine, you give what you can, I'll do the rest. I want this house. I want the space. Right now, it's all up to whether you give the go-ahead or not. What do you think?"
Remus shook his head. It was a great house, one he could picture waking up to in the morning, making coffee, having breakfast with Emily Thea and Sirius as the sun rose. One he could picture himself in on the cold winter nights, sitting near the grand fireplace in the den, reading or writing, sipping some hot chocolate. With Tonks cuddled up with you, a small voice inside his head had mentioned before he knew what he was thinking.
"I love the house, Sirius. It's fine with me. Let's take it." That was the end of their search for the perfect house.
So there they were then, just him and Tonks, sorting things out. She was so much better at organizing things than he was. All the things hanging on the wall were her doing, the candles on the bed stand, the multiple pillows decorating the bed. She had dragged him to the home improvement store, despite his protesting that he didn't need anything new.
"For Good Godric's sake, Remus, you've got no color in that bedroom. In the last house, your walls were old wood. It was all dark and gloomy."
"And I was never in there, so it didn't matter much."
"You need some life there, man. It's boring. If you get some pizzazz in there, you might actually enjoy it a little."
"Are bedrooms supposed to be enjoyed?" he'd asked, without even the slightest anticipation of her answer. She'd cast a glance back at him over her shoulder, smirking. The way she did made Remus realize what he'd said and what her answer really was. The thought sent Remus's insides wriggling. She saw the expression on his face and started laughing. That only made his stomach knot tighter. What was he thinking? He'd never thought of her like that before, why the sudden change?
She'd taken his hand after that, guiding him through the aisles, picking colors and objects he'd never thought about. He never knew a throw pillow was supposed to be for a bed, too, as well as a couch. He'd never thought of putting a bed skirt under his mattress. He knew for one thing it made hiding things under the bed a lot easier. She'd selected a muted blue rug for the floor. It was one of the softest things he'd ever felt. She'd put it right where he'd step every morning to get out of bed. His brand new comforter was almost the same color. Every thing in his room matched now. He had space to move, as opposed to the old room.

He even had his own bathroom now. Once again, she'd decorated that, too. It was all basically soft yellows. When he first saw the completed project, he'd been standing in the doorway, in between the blue and the yellow. His first thought was something along the lines of thinking his room reminded him of ducks in water, but he'd wisely kept that thought to himself. All in all, she'd done a good job. She was right. He could enjoy this.
He was cleaning off a mirror now, his back to hers. He could see her dusting a chest of drawers in the mirror. A thought began forming in that overworked head of his. What if he could just test her once, see if she really was crushing on him? There was no way it would work, would it?
Neither one of them turned around to face the other as he talked. That was exactly how he'd wanted it.
"You know what, Tonks?"
"Hum?" She answered. He watched as she unconsciously pushed her stray bangs back out of her face without looking back at him. Yes, she was cute.
"I could use you around more often. You're good at this. Do you think you could come around more often?"

He saw her stiffen over her feather duster, and heard her sharp intake of breath, then let it out in a shudder. She visibly collected herself, and with a smile, she turned to him and said "Sure, when do you need me?"
He turned around as well. "How does every day sound to you?"
Her eyes widened quickly. Just as fast, they narrowed in suspicion.
"Tonks, we need to talk. Come sit down." He said. She walked over to him and sat next to him on the foot of the bed.
"What is it, Remus?" She could hardly breathe. Could it be he'd finally figured it all out? No way, it had been so long. She'd almost given up on him, thinking he was either truly ignorant or just plain stubborn when it came to her. If he knew, what would happen next? Would he accept it? Please let him accept it. Please accept it Remus. Please. You've been killing me for far too long. He had reached to grasp her hand on the bed between them. Oh, bloody hell, he has figured it out! she thought excitedly.
He tossed his head back and stared at the ceiling. "Where do I start?" he asked rhetorically.
"At the beginning sounds good to me."
He laughed nervously. He looked down from the ceiling and directly into her eyes. "Wow." He cocked his head, never breaking the eye contact with her. "You have blue eyes." His observation sent her reeling.
"I've known you for thirty-five years, and you just now realized that?"
"Apparently, that's not the only thing I've missed in those years." Her heart jumped to her throat. It was really happening. She realized that she was holding her breath.
"Tonks, breathe, will you, please? Relax. I'm scared, too." He smiled and she melted. She exhaled once, but couldn't stop herself from inhaling and holding it again.
"Remus, do me a favor and get to the point. You're killing me." He laughed again.
"James and Sirius mentioned something that I'm sorry had never occurred to me earlier."
"Go on." She urged. He looked down at her soft white hand clutched in his. He'd never thought of himself as romantic, but as he stared at their hands, he stroked his thumb over the back of her long fingers. She was motionless and silent. He could tell she was reveling.
"Tonks, you tell me how you feel."
She couldn't help herself. She threw her arms around his neck, causing him to fall backwards onto the bed, her on top of him. After the initial few seconds of shock, he laughed as he wrapped his arms around her slender body and flipped them so she was pinned beneath him.
"You know how I feel."
"Yeah," he said above her. His hands were still pressed between the bed and the small of her back. He was gazing into her eyes. She was lost in the gray of his. "I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure it out."
"I'll survive."
"Good. Tell me how I can make your new life easier."
"By being a large part of it."
"When do I start?"
Oh, sweet Jesus, he's finally flirting with me. Oh, God Almighty, he's sexy. Oh, yes, he's sexy. Oh, God, I can't breathe. "Right now works for me. How about you?"
"Perfect." Before he knew what he was doing, his head had lowered and their lips had met. His mind was spinning. His senses were overwhelmed with her. He could hear her gentle moans of pleasure; feel the heat of her athletic and curvy body beneath his. Her perfume, although he'd smelled it before, had never smelled sweeter. She tasted sweet as well. Her tongue was teasing his between their locked lips. He hadn't kissed a woman in longer than he cared to admit. Kissing Tonks was definitely a breath of fresh air. She was great. She was really great.
Sirius walked whistling down the hall on the way to his own bedroom, just another one of the rooms in the house Tonks had decorated. Speaking of Tonks, maybe he should stop in and see how she and Remus were doing on his room. Last he had seen, Tonks had bounced around him in the door with a very confused-looking Remus Lupin trailing behind, arms full of bags. He must be having fun.

As he approached Remus's door, he stopped short, hearing only rustling. He peeked his head around the door frame. There, against the blue of the blankets, was his cousin, wrapped to the point of invisibility in the arms of his best friend. Sirius retreated from the room in a hasty silence, on his way to grab his older daughter, who was helping bring Emily Thea's furniture in with her fiancée.
"Harry, Hermione, come here, you have to see this!" Sirius whispered gleefully.
"What, Dad?" Hermione questioned as he took her wrist and hauled her to Remus's door.
"Stay absolutely noiseless." Sirius instructed Harry and Hermione. He stooped low to the ground to allow Harry and Hermione to look at the same time. They all took a small look around the corner, barely glimpsing the couple before turning and running in stocking clad feet down the hall to the living room, where Hermione collapsed on top of Harry on the couch, laughing herself to tears.
"Oh my god, that was." Harry panted through a series of snorts.
"Remus and Tonks! They were." Hermione said in between fits of hysterical giggles.
"Snogging!" Sirius provided loudly, sending them all into more snickers.
"Well," Tonks said from the bed, where she lay next to Remus, who seemed to be floating on air. "I think the family knows."
Remus chuckled. It was a sound Tonks had come to long to hear.
"I thought I heard them out there spying on us." He admitted.
"All of a sudden, about the time he hit your door, the whistling stopped. Yeah, I think he knows."
"Oh well. That saves us from wasting the time in telling them all. Which means, we have more time for." he said slyly.
"Whoa there, Buster. I have to catch my breath. Promise me one thing while I try to breathe."
"What?"

"Promise me you'll tell Emily Thea yourself. Don't let any of them," she shook her head in the direction of the living room. "tell her. You don't think she'll freak out, do you?"

"Tonks, do you want to know something? She won't freak out, I'm sure of it."

"How so?"

"When I went to go tell her Sirius was alive, I said that we had to talk, and she pipes up, 'Papa, did you ask Tonks out?'. she was perfectly fine with it, too. But I promise I'll tell her myself."

"Hey Remus," Tonks said quietly. "Does this mean we're official?"

Remus pushed himself up onto his elbow on the bed next to her to meet her gaze with his own. He knew that if those words came from his mouth, they would be way more important to him than any "I do" ever would be. Was he ready for that kind of thing? Was he really ready?"

"Yes, Tonks, this means we're official."

Drying dishes later that night, Sirius and Remus stood side by side, not a word passing between them.. Sirius kept casting sideways glances at his friend, catching him smiling to himself.

"Damn it, Remus, if you don't say something about how obviously good it was, I might freakin' explode!" Sirius shouted as he threw the towel down. Remus took one look at him and started laughing.

"Remus, come on, I'm trying to be serious." Sirius said in angst. He ended up smiling along with him. "So, was it really that great?"

"Yeah. It was that great."

"Uggh, Remus, you really didn't have to answer that."

"You asked."

"What is it with you? You've changed, Buddy."

"Is that a good thing?"

Sirius thought before responding. "Yeah, Remus, it's a good thing." Sirius nodded his approval.

"Why didn't I figure this out sooner?" Remus asked incredulously. "I could have spent three-quarters of my life already with this woman! Ha-ha, I've never done any of this before. I'm so excited!" Remus was bouncing around the kitchen.
"Hey, hey, Casanova! Chill out." Sirius took his buddy by the shoulders. Remus looked at Sirius, smiling wide. Sirius smiled back and let him go, shaking his head. "What are we going to do with you?"
Remus just laughed.

Remus was lying in his bed between his brand new sheets some time later that night, unable to sleep because of the butterflies in his stomach. His whole body was taut, held stiff with nervous anticipation for what lay ahead of him in the coming days, for what new chapter was beginning in his life. He had half a mind not to lie down. Every muscle and tendon in his body was calling to be moved. He felt like pacing, like running in circles and jumping for joy, but he forced himself to stay put. After all, he had a long day tomorrow. He couldn't be up all night.
A barely audible knock came from the other side of his door. Emily Thea's little round face appeared from behind it. After his heart jumped to his mouth, wondering if it was Tonks, Remus swallowed it and smiled a genuine smile at his little girl.
"Hey, baby, come in." He said tenderly. She pushed the door open further and shuffled to his bedside, where she stood wordlessly, staring at her feet, blonde hair falling, hiding any peeks of her face Remus might get. He knew something was wrong.
"Come here, Em." He lifted up the covers of the bed, inviting her to crawl in with him. She gathered her night shirt around herself and climbed in, but kept away, so they wouldn't touch at all, even accidentally. Remus realized that something was really bothering her. Emily Thea had always been a cuddle bug.
"What's on your mind, Monkey?" That didn't get any response from her, far different than any other time. "Talk to me, Emily Thea. Please." He begged as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She shrugged them off. "Emily Thea, please tell me what's wrong."
"I never said there was anything wrong." She whispered, looking away from him.
"I hate to break it to you, kiddo, but you can't fool me. I'm your papa. I know better."
"Why are you different all of a sudden? What's up that you're not telling me?" She demanded.
"How am I different?"
"You're whistling, and smiling, and laughing, and dancing. You never do that, and I want to know what put you in that kind of mood." She set her jaw so that it stuck out in a stubborn face.
"I've been meaning to tell you, but."
"You and Tonks got together, didn't you?"
"Yes, we did. That's what I wanted to tell you." He said. He was horrified by the change that came over her face. She jumped out of the bed like her backend was on fire, and stood beside the bed, glaring at him. Remus followed her out of the bed and knelt in front of her. When he went to go brush the hair from her face, she pulled away and pushed herself against the night stand, trying to get as far away from him as she could.
"Don't touch me!" she shouted. She sounded almost fearful. Remus was completely baffled.
"Don't touch me! Don't touch me! You got with her, and oh, how could you? That's disgusting! My own Papa! You."
"I what? It was just a simple kiss, Em! That's it!" He rose from his knees to stand in front of her.
"You had sex with her! Oh my god, that's so sick! How could you?!" She cried. She had tears running down her cherry red cheeks. She kicked him hard in the shins and ran from the room, howling. Hermione emerged from the next door, wearing only a t-shirt of Harry's. She watched Emily Thea run down the hall, and then in the bedroom where Remus had seated himself on the bed, rubbing his throbbing leg and working himself up.
"I never said anything about sex." He growled to Hermione.
"What just happened in here?" She blinked, confused.
"She came in here, didn't say a single word to me, so I invited her to crawl in bed with me to cuddle. I knew something was wrong. I was only hoping to make it better. She asked why I was different all of a sudden, and then she asks if Tonks and I are together. I said yes. Then she jumped out of bed and glared at me. She's never done that to me before. So I got out and bent down in front of her. I was going to push the hair out of her face so I could look at her, but as I raised my hand, she jerked back, yelling 'Don't touch me!' I said all that happened was a kiss, but then she started yelling that I had sex with her! I'll kill whoever told her about sex." He muttered angrily.
"Remus, you know you can't do that. You'll probably never know where she learned about sex. But that girl is probably terrified of you right now." Remus looked shocked and appalled. "Wipe that look off your face. Do you remember when you figured out what your parents did to get you? You flipped out, too. I did." She pointed out.
"Why would she be afraid of me though?"
"I don't know why it was so scary for me, either. But I got over it. My dad came in after he found out I knew and explained it to me. I was scared to touch him. But then I figured it would be kind of like hugging a diseased person, and it was just something I had to get over. It was weird, hugging my dad after that talk, but it helped. Maybe you could try that with her." She offered.
Remus gave her a doubtful look "You didn't happen to see how scared of me she was. I don't think she'll talk to me for days."
"Well, she has to talk to somebody, and if she's scared to talk to people who have had sex, she's going to have a real problem. She doesn't have any friends near by, and all the others are adults who have had sex. She has to talk to you."
"Fine, I'll go try, but you're coming, too."
"Deal."
They marched down the hall and knocked on Emily Thea's door.
"Go away, Papa, I don't want to talk to you." She yelled. Remus shoved Hermione in front of him. She opened the door.
"Last I checked, I wasn't Papa." She said gingerly. Emily Thea was lying on her bed, her face buried in the pillows, unable to see them.
"Yeah, you're not, but he's right behind you, I can tell." She said without looking up.
"Em, baby, we have to talk to you."
"People who have sex are gross." She stated, face still in the pillows.
"Nearly every adult you know has had sex, babe."
"Then they're all gross."
"If it weren't for sex, you wouldn't be here."
Emily Thea wailed. "I hadn't thought of that! Thanks for mentioning it!"
"Sex is a part of life. One of these days, you'll learn it's not so bad. Really."
"You've had sex; of course you'd say that."
"Yes," Hermione admitted. "I have had sex."
"With who?"
"A few people. Harry, mainly." Emily Thea shivered.
"Em, Papa didn't have sex with Tonks. All they did was kiss." Emily Thea sat up, sniffling.
"They didn't?"
"No, Monkey, we didn't." He said as he moved to her.
"Have you ever had sex before?"
"Yes." He confessed fairly.
"Are you ever going to have sex with her?"
"Listen to me, okay?" He asked as he sat down next to her on the bed. "Sex is not something to be taken lightly. If you're going to have sex with somebody, you have to care for them. A lot. You don't just do it with anybody. That's why it's sometimes called 'making love'. If you have sex with someone, you already love them, but you love them even more after that. Understand?"
"Yes, but you didn't answer my question."
"Yes, Emily Thea, I might have sex with her. No, I won't. If we ever do that, it will be making love. But yeah, it will probably happen someday. Are you alright now?"
"I guess, but it's still a little weird."
"It takes some getting used to. Everybody had to have some time to get used to it when they first found out." Hermione said evenly. Emily Thea just shook her head.
"Okay, well, I'm tired. I'm going back to bed." Hermione kissed the top of Emily Thea's head, and then Remus's cheek. "I love you both. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Hermione" they chorused. She left the two of them sitting on the bed. Remus reached over to his daughter and pulled her hair behind her ear, grateful that she let him.
"Are you really okay now, Monkey?" He asked. She looked up at him, bright blue eyes shining in the dim light.
"Yeah, Papa, I'm okay now." She edged closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you, Papa." She whispered into his shirt collar. He squeezed her to him.
"I love you, too, Emily Thea. I love you so much." Remus tucked her in and kissed her goodnight, and then returned to his own bed, shaken.

Yes, he remembered having to face his parents after learning about the birds and the bees. He hadn't taken it as well as Emily Thea had. He was the one who had stopped talking to them. It gave him goose bumps to think that one day he might do something like what they had done. Now, it still gave him goose bumps, remembering some wild and crazy nights he'd spent. He knew it had taken guts for Emily Thea to touch him tonight, guts and love. It never ceased to amaze him that she loved him so much. He didn't think he'd ever get used to being loved, or loving someone else so fully. He'd never take it for granted. She was just so precious to him. He'd gotten so used to being shunned that now, having someone that truly loved him that much was strange to him. Was it really like hugging a diseased person? He hadn't said 'I love you' to his parents. Thank Heavens he had Emily Thea. He didn't know what he'd do without her.

2 weeks, 2 days later (August 20th, 2010)

"It's about time!" Tonks exclaimed as she slipped into her brand new, scarlet, slit leg bridesmaid dress and turned to see how she looked in Remus's bedroom mirror. Remus was sitting on his bed, adjusting his tie, and admiring what a knockout his girlfriend was. They were getting ready to attend the ceremony of marriage for Harry and Hermione, or, as some were saying, their next attempt at one. Nearly every member of the family had heard of people taking bets on whether they would really get married and stay married this time around.

"I can't wait for this wedding!" Tonks was her usual bright, bubbly self. "Remus, do you think I look okay?"

He stood and came to her from behind, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. Quoting a line from a song Tonks was especially fond of, he sang softly in her ear, "It's late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear. She puts on her make-up, and brushes her long blonde hair. And then she asks me, "Do I look alright?'" And I say "Yes, you look wonderful tonight ." They swayed together as he continued singing. Tonks was melting, her body molding delicately to his, until there was no longer any distance between their bodies or their hearts. "Oh my darling, you look wonderful tonight." Remus finished.

"I can't really trust you to tell me when I look bad, can I?" she smiled as she whispered.

"Yes, hypothetically you could, but you won't ever hear those words out of my mouth." He said as he left a trail of small, sweet kisses down her neckline, nipping her shoulder blade lightly and causing her to laugh faintly. "Where's your necklace?" he asked, still moving his lips against her bare skin.

"On the dresser, in the big velvet box." She said in a silky voice. Remus moved away to retrieve the box, flipped it open and stared wide-eyed at the diamonds sparkling in the case. They were huge! He tenderly picked up the gems and returned to her, pulling the diamonds to just the right spot on her neck and fastening the latch on the back. He stood back and observed her. She had on the scarlet dress, which was almost identical to the one Ginny would be wearing, deep red shoes, low-key nylons that covered her long, long, beautifully shaped legs. Her hair was pulled back into a curly mass of blonde on the back of her head, bangs framing her angel face. The diamonds were hardly noticeable against the beauty of the woman wearing them. Remus sighed.

"You look radiant, Honey."

"Do I really?" she asked

"Yes, you do."

"Remus? Can I tell you something?"

"Sure. What is it?" She spun around and took his hands, just so she could hold them.

"I love you." She looked him directly in the eye as she said them, those three little words that could make all the difference in the world. The same ones that made all the difference to him. He kissed her affectionately before he repeated them.

"I love you, too."

Hermione, still in jeans, but with her hair done up elegantly, waited by the door, not too keen on wrecking the moment for the two of them. She'd come to see whether everything was going smoothly for her bridesmaid or not. She had walked in just at the time Tonks had told her Papa she loved him. Hermione was astonished. And hearing her Papa say them back had Hermione close to tears. She fought strongly to keep from crying, not wanting her make-up, which had taken forever for her to do, to run. She made sure that Tonks looked just how she was supposed to, and then left the room, thrilled for them. Remus had gone so long without someone to love him like that, although Tonks would have jumped at the chance to love him at any given moment. Yes, he knew he had the love of his daughter, and Hermione, and his friends and family. But having a lover was something totally different. Maybe sometime soon, Hermione herself would be a bridesmaid at a certain couple's wedding.

Wandering back down the hall, she wasn't watching and hit someone else head on. Looking up, she saw two people she was not certain she should even have invited to the wedding. Fred and George Weasley stood before her, dressed to the nines and two busty babes hanging on their arms. Hermione groaned. She loved them, but if she had the slightest indication of trouble for her other guests, she'd chuck them out in a heartbeat. She was picked up in a bone-crushing hug by George, then passed to Fred. He released her, and helped her, to no avail, try to nurse her aching ribs.

"I swear to you two, if I find a single Canary Cream, or Skiving Snackboxes, or U-No-Poo in any guests' food, I will kill you. If all of a sudden, a guest suddenly disappears, I know who to come after. Do you understand me?"

"Well, George, she hasn't changed much. She's still that same hot-tempered little short shit she always was." Fred said jokingly.

"Poor Harry, mate, does he know what he's getting in to?" George said to a fuming Hermione.

"You ornery little bastards." She swore.

"Hermione, that is no language for a lady to use!" Fred said in mock disgust.

"Oh, I'll show you lady, you."

"Have you met our lady friends, Veronica and Hannah?" George cut her off. Hermione took a soothing breath and turned to the girl on George's arm.

"Hermione, this is Hannah Bates. Hannah, this is Hermione Black, soon to be known as Hermione Potter, once again." George said to the scantly dressed brunette with her hand slipped under his elbow. She had on an off-white, strapless, high-on-the-thigh dress, leaving little to the imagination.

Fred took his turn to introduce his 'lady friend'. "Hermione, this is Veronica Balto. Ronnie, this is my dear, sweet, loving cousin, Hermione." Ronnie was dressed a little better. Her dress was baby pink with stripes of blue, which reminded Hermione strongly of cotton candy. At least it covered more on her. It had straps and was knee length. She had jet black hair and dark skin.

"Well," Hermione said. "It was great meeting both of you, but I have to cut this meeting short. I'm really very sorry. I'll see you at the church, I take it?" Both girls nodded eagerly. "Great." Hermione turned to the twins. "Fred, George, please, I'm begging you, be good." Fred leaned in close and whispered in her ear.

"We wouldn't ruin your wedding for you, Hermione." He kissed her cheek and turned to George. George followed suit.

"The next time we see you," he murmured in her ear, "you will be dressed in white, about to get married. The next time we talk to you, you'll be a blushing bride. Congratulations, 'Mione." He kissed her other cheek and followed Fred out of the front door and to the Apparating area outside the village.

Harry found Hermione standing still in the hall where they left her, shaking her head.

"I swear!" She said as she rounded on him, catching him off guard. "If I didn't have a rather large affection for those two, I wouldn't let them through the doors of that church! Did you see what their 'lady friends' were wearing?!? I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if lightening struck them down the minute they try to set foot in a place of God!"

Harry just snickered and wrapped her in a bear hug.

"Hermione Honey, if you don't calm down, you might faint at the alter." Hermione looked up at him, horrified.

"Can that really happen?" she asked, her voice screeching.

"I'm not sure. But I am taking the groomsmen and we're going to the church. I just thought I'd say I love you before I left." Hermione nodded and buried her head in his chest for a moment or two, just to be calmed and comforted by his presence. It always seemed to work. She kissed him once more, and he left, with his cronies (okay, so they were all family, but still.) in tow.